Ask a Bad Toucher
by Antonia Stark-Bondevik
Summary: Yes, they've finally pressured me into asking for material. Ask the Bad Touch Trio anything...and make them do some dares? Please? Dangerous dares...at least enough to stop them from annoying me. T for whatever people write in. Oh yeah, and dare Prussia to admit who he likes, too...
1. Chapter 1

Prussia sat in a cement basement, holding an Ipad. Spain stood in the corner, playing on an old Pinball machine. France sat next to him, playing on an X-Box. Prussia frowned.

"The awesome me will have to ask Igi for the password."

"Good luck with that, cherie. She's out."

Prussia pulled out his cell phone. "Wish me luck."

Spain pulled on the launcher for the pinball machine, it made a plethora of bleeping noises as he played. Prussia put the phone on speaker, as a girl picked up.

"Hello?"

"Guten tag, frau!" Prussia said into the phone. "The awesome Prussia wishes to know the password to your Ipad?"

"W-What?" the girl on the other end of the line stammered. "Hell no! You'll hack my iPad! Everything I've ever written or read is on there, and that's some embarrassing crap!"

"Come on, frau!" Prussia whined. "You told us you'd do a letter box for us!"

"Yeah, when I'm not at a Jack White concert in Los Angeles!" she said angrily. "Now don't bug me, I have to go! He's coming on!"

There was the faint sound of the girl saying something that sounded like "ducking glass moles, what the duck?" and then a click. Prussia sighed.

"We just have to wait for her to get back, amigo," Spain said calmly.

"Why didn't she take us?" France asked.

"I think I heard her say there's a bar," Prussia said absently. He picked up the iPad and kept typing words to try and guess the password.

~later~

The door slammed upstairs.

"Hey boys, I'm home! Don't tell me you killed my house!" the girl's voice yelled from upstairs. She wandered down the stairs, holding a bag that read, "Keep Calm and Avengers Assemble". She had short, dark hair, brown eyes, and glasses. She was wearing red shirt that read "Mutant Freedom Now" in bubble letters with a blue Devil's tail weaving between the letters. She flopped down on the couch where Prussia and France had been sitting earlier.

The basement was silent.

"Mother of-" the girl muttered. She set the bag down and poked her head into other rooms, until Prussia flew out of one of them.

"GIVE ME THE PASSWORD."

"It's password," the girl said sarcastically.

And the funny thing was, Prussia actually tried it. She snatched the iPad out of his hands.

"You told us you would do an online letterbox for us, Igi!" he whined as Igi unlocked the iPad. She sighed.

"Fine. It's ONE IN THE FREAKING MORNING, but get Francey-pants and España in here, and we'll post asking for questions. Because the world revolves around Prussia."

"Ja, it does," Prussia said. "Yo France! Toni!" Spain and France poked their heads out of other doors, looking around.

"She's finally going to do a letter box for us!"

All four sat down on the couch.

"Hi, you might remember me from London's Calling, England Doesn't Care. Yeah, you'll ALSO remember that these three pressured me into doing this. Please keep it T, so my inbox doesn't fill with perverted things..." Prussia put his arm around Igi.

"Yep, and You already know us three! I'm the awesome Prussia!"

"No freaking crap," Igi said annoyedly.

"Aw, shut up Frau, you know you love us."

"Ok, fine, you're right. I love you idiots."

France and Prussia ruffled her hair.

"Yep, so annoy our authoress here-"

"HEY!"

"And send us questions!"

"Make them do dares," Igi said, glaring. "The more dangerous, the better. Make sure they sneak into Switzerland's house, and-"

she was cut off by Prussia putting his hand over her mouth.

"Ha, don't listen to her," he said nervously. "She just gets pissed easily when she's tired."

Igi was blushing bright red. She mumbled something that she probably learned from England.

France smiled.

Spain magically produced another tomato and took a bite out of it.

"Send us stuff!"

Igi shoved Prussia off of her, blushing to rival Romano.

"Yeah, PM or Review works," she said, glaring. "Now hurry up before I murder them."

Prussia gave Igi a kiss on the cheek, and her anger melted away as she blushed again.

"Stop it, idiot," she muttered, looking down. Spain smiled.

"Just like little Lovi~! Anyway, start writing!"

_**A/N: Yes, I caved to my inner desires. And my unbounded love of the BTT. So write in, kay? Kay. **_


	2. Guest: Burururu

Igi pulled out her iPad and unlocked it. Prussia looked over.

"You're still not telling me that password?"

"NEIN."

Said authoress checked her Email.

"Oh look, you got one."

**Bururu:Bonjour, mes Amis  
I love the Bad Touch Trio  
Now France, Prussia, Spain.  
Since I have a trio of friends in which I am most like France and my friends  
are most like Spain and Prussia, I'll go easy on you. You didn't want to go to  
Switzerland's house, so I won't make you. **

Igi groaned. "CURRSESSS!"

Prussia snickered and punched her in the arm, she glared and said, "I take that as a challenge to a flat out battle of Streetfighter x Tekken where I play as Chun-Li and you MUST play as the lamest character I can think of."

Prussia scooted away. Igi smiled sweetly.

"I get violent during Streetfighter matches."

"Don't I know it," Prussia muttered. "I still have bruises."

Igi smirked.

**Moral of the story, do not challenge the AWESOME Prussian authoress to a death match of Streetfighter or she will kick your arse. Literally. **

"Oh wait, there's more," Igi said, smirking.

**Spain, you'll lure out Liechtenstein outside with your innocent appearance.  
Then Prussia, you be the decoy and make Switzerland chase after you by making  
lots of noise. Make Gilbird break a window or something. Then start to make  
him chase/follow you to where Liechtenstein, España, and France will be  
waiting. France, when you're sure Switzerland is watching, start flirting with  
Liechtenstein. Then kiss her. While Switzerland is watching. Then you must all  
stay in Switzerland's yard for a full hour before you may leave. (Which means  
no running away right after the kiss!) That is my dare. And if you refuse, I  
will tie you up in Switzerland's yard and give him ammunition and firearms.  
Have fun! :)  
-Bururu **

"YES! DANKE RANDOM GUEST!" Igi said, dancing. "Thank you for helping me with my REVENGE for calling me during an awesome Jack White concert and making me miss my FAVORITE SONG, Seven Nation Army!"

Prussia facepillowed. "Gott...I knew that would come back to haunt me."

"FRANCEY PANTSSS! ESPANA!" Igi called excitedly. Spain exited the bathroom and France came out of the back room.

"You have a dare that I may or may not have inceptioned into the minds of our readers!" She handed the iPad to Spain and France. Both read the dare and handed it back to her.

"...fine."

"YES! I will be your awesome Mission Control!" Igi cheered. "You made me MISS Seven Nation Army when you called the other night, so HAH!" she slid off across the tiles, humming Mein Gott. Igi returned a few minutes later with bluetooth headsets.

"You will conference call me, da?" she said jokingly, handing one to each.

"Now go! Prussia may honor one of his awesome descendants!" she cheered, shoving them out the door.

The Bad Touch Trio put in the headsets, and the Authoress was immediately online. "All right, first it says Spain will lure Lichtenstein out with his innocence."

"Why are our fans so mean?" France whined.

"Because I inceptioned them into doing this, that's why." The authoress responded. "Now, Spain, I choose you!"

Spain wandered over to the window of Switzerland's house.

_**A/N: Yes! I live next door to Switzy. Or they were walking and talking. You choose.**_

"Lichtenstein! I need a hand out here!"

Lichtenstein opened the door. "Oh. Hello Spain," she said. "What's wrong? It had better be important, or big bruder will get mad."

Spain froze. "I, um-"

Enter Switzerland, with a gun. France immediately commenced flirting with Lichtenstein and kissed her (unfortunately, because he's a chicken, he went for the cheek. Switzy still decided to murder him anway.)

So the Bad Touch Trio ran in circles around Switzerland's property for an hour with a vindictive Igi shouting "SCHNELL!" in their ears.

Igi called Switzy later and apologized, saying that it was a bet and please don't murder her bros.

So everyone was now happy.


	3. Michigan

Igi picked up her iPad again, unlocked it, and smiled. "Hey boys, you've got another Switzy dare."

All three groaned.

"Do not worry, it's something you already did so we can cheat, ja?" Igi said. "But there's other stuff we have to do."

**Hello You got michigan here And i just happened to stumble upon this fanfic  
and decided to watch uncle france and his friends do some wierd arse sh*t.  
Okay, i dare spain to plug his ears with earplugs, Prussia to tape his mouth  
shut, and france to wear a blindfold. Then have them fly out to switzerland  
without telling him and let them be chased around by Switzerland himself :T  
Then, i dare the three to have a drinking contest (including the author)  
Andsee where that goes XD First one to be knocked out loses.**

Bis zum nächsten Mal!  
AliceCrowleyTheFullMetalKitt y's Oc Amanda rue Crawfordson

Igi pulled out the Duct Tape. "I enjoy this way too much."

Five minutes later...

Igi finished stuffing her swimming earplugs into Spain's ears. "Here you go! I enjoyed this!"

France was blindfolded by Igi's camp bandanna, Prussia's mouth was duct taped shut, and Spain had the earplugs.

"Next...ooh. Take your tape off, Prussia nii-chan. Drinking contest!" Igi looked closer, then frowned.

"Sorry, Michigan. I'm underage...I'll ref instead, kay?"

Igi pulled out the Vodka she keeps on hand in case of Russia, and poured it into shot glasses that she DID NOT OWN because the BTT left them at her house a while ago.

"Ready, set, go!"

Five minutes later...

Spain was out cold.

Half an hour later...

Prussia kissed the authoress on the cheek and she blushed until her head exploded. France tried to hit on the Authoress and she kicked him in the vital regions.

A few hours later...

Prussia won. And then Igi locked them downstairs to be drunk or whatever, then she hunted down London to ask how she was going to explain this to anybody who showed up at her house in the next few hours.


	4. Derp

Igi paused her game of Streetfigher and checked her phone.

"Boys, email!"

They all hid under Igi's couch.

"Cool it. There's no Switzerland, I promise."

**derp:Ten. Hour. Nyan Cat Challenge.**

Go.

:3 

Igi laughed. "Please. 24 hour Nyan cat challenge Veteran."

All three boys were confused. "What."

Igi opened the YouTube app on her iPad. "Just so you know who to kill and I have an interesting scene, this is Japanese..."

"Nyannyannyannyannyannyannyan ..."

Ten hours later, they didn't question Igi's endurance. I'd like to say they were running around tearing their hair out, but they had fallen asleep. Igi pounced on them.

"How d'you like NYAN now?"

_**A/N: I know, this was short. Sorry. **_


	5. Rose

Igi lifted her iPad once more.

"May I have the password for that, Frau? Bitteee?"

"No, stop begging," Igi said, typing in the password. Prussia leaned over her shoulder.

"Kesese! Your password is in German. Ich liebe-"

Igi cut him off by shoving him away and finishing typing her password.

"Oh look, a new ask."

Prussia turned even paler, if that's possible.

**Hai my name is Rose and I AM EPICSAUSE DONT YOU DARE QUESTION MY JUDGEMENT! So  
bow down to the epic me, I wish to dare you all my lovely BTT  
Spain: I dare you to go 2 hours without smiling or laughing.  
Prussia: I dare you to say Igi is the most awesone person alive!  
France: I dare you to hang upside down for 15 minutes  
I warn you there are no exeption! **

Igi grinned. "Why thank you, Rose."

Prussia did a headdesk on Igi's coffee table. Spain happened to hear this and did a spit-take of his juice. France...was already red in the face because England had heard of this dare and taken the liberty.

"Can I borrow your Duct Tape, Igi?" Spain asked. She handed him the duct tape, and he taped his mouth.

"The things we do for the fans..." France said. Igi nodded.

"Now Prussia nii-chan, I believe you have something to tell me?" She said, leaning on him.

"Ugh. You, The-Goddamn-Iron-Girl, who I can pass the title off to because you're Prussian..." he coughed. "You...are...the...awesomest...person...alive." he choked out. Igi grinned.

"I knew you would admit it one day, Preussen!" she said cheerily. "But I'm going to have to give you back that title, because A.) I'm nice and B.) I'm your fangirl."

Prussia smiled. "Danke, Igi. I knew you loved mee..."

"Don't push it, or I'll take the title back."

Later...

Igi checked her watch. "Oh look, we can free France now. But I'm going to free France...the AWESOME WAY!"

She pulled out her bow and arrows, shooting through the rope. France fell to the floor, rolling over and untying his feet.

"You could have shot me!"

"These are the Safety arrows, aren't they?" Igi said, checking the tips. "Oh, no...they're not. But I didn't hit France just because I'm awesome!"

Even later...

Igi looked over at Spain. "I think duct tape worked, dude. You can take it off now." Spain grinned, pulling off the silver tape and smiling. Everyone smiled too.

"ALL RIGHT, who's ready for the Bi-Weekly Black Ops tourney?" Igi said, throwing Spain a remote. "Me vs Spain, France vs Prussia, winner vs winner, ULTIMATE WINNER gets to pick who sleeps on the couch for the next week."

Thus began the furious battle, ending in THE AWESOME PRUSSIA versus The-Goddamn-Iron-Girl. It was a tie, so both picked sleeping arrangements.


	6. America

Igi smiled as her phone rang. Fortunately Prussia wasn't in the room with her, because her ringtone was his laugh and that would have been verrry awkward. Of course, Prussia knew that Igi is his number one Fangirl.

"Heyyy...America wrote in!"

**Haha! It's me, America! Prussia. Just wanted to say, I'm awesomer than you. :P  
AND I'm a hero! What are you?**

Alfred F. Jones. 

"Ohhhh Preusssennn!" Igi sang. Prussia walked down the stairs into the basement.

"What?"

"America says he's awesomer than you. Reaction?"

"Wha...AMERIKA?! VERDAMMT!" Prussia fumed. "I am more awesome than America! He's pretty awesome, because I TRAINED HIM during the revolution-"

"Don't mention that to England," Igi interrupted.

"-BUT I AM STILL AWESOMER!"

Igi smiled. "Yes you are. Does it count if your ex-stalker and number one fangirl confirms it?"

"Ja."

"Oh, and America?" Igi said. "I'm a hero too, you know. Igi stands for The-Goddamn-Iron-Girl. IRON GIRL. AS IN, IRON MAN. Iron Man is the awesomest superhero ever, so therefore, I am Fem!Iron Man. Eat it."


	7. Bururu 2

Igi sat up on the couch, the TV was casting a faint glow over her and the Bad Touch Trio's sleeping forms. She lifted the thin form of her iPad 2 off of the coffee table and unlocked it.

"Hey guys, request."

France groaned and sat up. "It's too early..."

"Man up, Frenchie, it's seven in the morning." The authoress responded absently, scanning the letter. She grinned evilly. "I love how the fans are tormenting you so."

**Hon hon! I finally got an account! **

**France: I dare you to say "England is so much better than me in every single **

**way" CONVINCINGLY while video-recording yourself and send the link to the **

**video to ALL the nations. Even micronations and principalities like Sealand **

**and Kugelmugel. **

**Spain: I dare you to take away all of Romano's tomatoes, tell him you took **

**away his tomatoes, and lock yourself in his house for at least 12 hours. **

**Prussia: Go... go bother West or something. **

**Au revoir! **

**-Bururu**

Spain sat up at the word "Romano". France paled. Igi smirked.

"THIS England fangirl is getting Christmas early!"

**_A/N: Yes, I am a fangirl of both England and Prussia. Problem?_**

Prussia smirked. "Someone is telling me to go bother West?"

Igi nodded.

"HELLZ YEAH!"

"So recap, people, Spain and France are the only ones getting tortured this time!" Igi said, smiling. She shifted her iPad to video mode.

"You know you want to say it, France..." she said teasingly, swiping her finger across the screen to put it into camcorder mode. The other two-thirds of the Bad Touch Trio watched with bated breath as Igi turned on the video recorder.

"Hey France, something you want to tell the world?" Igi said, grinning. France sighed.

"I would like to admit that England is so much better than me in every single way," he said, managing to keep a straight face. Igi beamed and stopped the recording.

"Oh, that's brilliant. That email will be ALL OVER THE WORLD in a few hours." she began to type furiously on her iPad. "Yes, I put England in there, Japan, America, Germany, Sealand, Wy, Seborga, Italy, Roma, London and her Capitol friends, even Canada!"

"Who?"

"Shut up," Igi said, typing. "This'll be the biggest hit when they see it! In the meantime, Prussia may go bother Germany and Spain may go piss off Roma."

The other two got up and left, taking the customary Bluetooth headsets and wishing each other luck.

Prussia snuck into the house he sometimes shared with Germany (sometimes since he pretty much lived at Igi's place now.) Gilbird flew over to his perch and cheeped. Prussia sat down on the couch and thought for a bit.

"Oh! Prussia!" Igi said into the Bluetooth, making him jump. "I know what you can do! Isn't his library, like, really organized? Just mess up things in general!"

Prussia grinned. "Danke, Igi!"

He began in the library, pulling books off the shelves and pouring them onto the floor. Then he took out all the plates and bowls and silverware, balancing them on the kitchen counters. Then finally, he found some old bags of the dogs' poop, and randomly threw the bags around the house.

"There!"

"That's brilliant!" Igi declared, because Prussia took pictures and sent them to her.

"Oh, by the way, first video response: England. He wants to know how I got this video. And London wants to know if I can use the same method on Paris to make a video of Paris, too." Igi snickered.

"Cool," Prussia said. Germany's footsteps were on the stairs.

"Bruder? I saw the mess in the library, and-"

"Kesese! Gotta dash, West!" Prussia called out, zooming out the front door.

Spain sighed, pushing Romano's tomatoes into the back of his car.

"Why must the reviewers be so mean..."

He looked around furtively, before going back into Romano's house and locking the door.

(The-Goddamn-Iron-Girl magically barred the front and back door from the outside to make sure he didn't cheat.)

"Oh Roma~! Lovi!"

"What do you want, fucking tomato bastard? And how did you get in my house?"

"Lovi, I took your tomates..."

"Wha-WHAT THE FUCK, TOMATO BASTARD!?"

Later...

Igi looked up from her book (Maximum Ride: Angel) when Spain walked back in.

"Oh, hey Spain! It's been twelve hours, hasn't it?"

Spain nodded. He had a black eye. "Si...poor Lovi."

"You gave him his tomatoes back, right?"

"Si, I did."

"Good," Igi said, looking down at the book.

"Igi, where's the ice packs?"

"In the freezer, as usual, Spain."

"Gracias."

_**A/N: Use your imagination.**_


	8. America 2

Igi checked her iPad, reading the new request and making a face.

"Oh Preussennn...w have a common problem."

Prussia looked in.

"What?"

**Prussia, dude, you aren't even a COUNTRY anymore. And Igi, PLEASE, Batman is  
awesomer. He has a theme song. And so do I! Haha! I bet you nor Iron man have  
theme songs! Haha! Jealous?**

Alfred F. Jones 

As you can guess, considering she's NAMED AFTER IRON MAN, Igi was pretty pissed off.

"Haven't you hear Iron Man's theme song, America? You should, considering you're a hero nerd!"

Igi picked up a microphone and began to sing.

"I am Iron Man!  
Has he lost his mind?  
Can he see or is he blind?  
Can he walk at all  
Or if he moves will he fall?"

The awesome electric guitars were done by Prussia. She continued.

"Is he alive or dead?  
Has he thoughts within his head  
We'll just pass him there  
Why should we even care?

He was turned to steel  
In the great magnetic field  
When he travelled time  
For the future of mankind

Nobody wants him  
He just stares at the world  
Planning his vengeance  
That he will soon unfold

Now the time is here  
For Iron Man to spread fear  
Vengeance from the grave  
Kills the people he once saved

Nobody wants him  
They just turn their heads  
Nobody helps him  
Now he has his revenge

Heavy boots of lead  
Fills his victims full of dread  
Running as fast as they can  
Iron Man lives again!"

The music ended. "And that, my good man, is Iron Man's theme song because he's so BADASS. And awesome."

Prussia actually read the letter now. "Whaat?"

Igi snatched the iPad back.

"DON'T SAY THAT, America," she said, obviously more than annoyed now. "Have you ever been to my house on February 25? IT SHOULD BE DESIGNATED A FLOOD ZONE."

"Hey, you did too!"

"Because I'M PRUSSIAN!" she snapped back.

"Oh right, the awesome me does have a theme song!" Prussia said out of nowhere. "She was singing it this morning while she made breakfast!"

Igi flushed.

"And she has it on her Droid cell phone! Isn't it the only song you've ever download-" Igi put her hand over Prussia's mouth.

"Yes, he does. It is the EPITOME OF ALL AWESOME, known informally as Mein Gott."

Prussia pulled out his epic guitar.

"Someone is calling,  
I'm being called  
Alright, leave it to me; let's go  
More! More!

To the east and to the west  
I'll keep running  
If you desire it too,  
Then come and I'll pet you

That's right, if fighting is your only option  
Then that's what you'll have to do  
The awesome me's the most supreme! The strongest!  
The one who gets the last laugh, yeah!  
Is the awesome me, of course!

Danke!

The best! The most fearsome!  
You guys can praise me  
I'll show you my massive dream  
A succession of victories for sure!

Alone in my room  
I'll write it today too  
A memorial of the awesome me  
More! More!

Hey little bird chirp for my sake  
It will heal me; Niyo niyo!

This is bad, a panda that will bring happiness

I won't be fooled

The awesome me will show up! Burn it up!  
I'll do whatever I want and I'll do it violently  
Old man, watch over me!

Mein Gott!

In a pinch! Punch!  
Sometimes even a warrior starts shaking  
(...I'll leave things at this point)  
A reverse in the situation, I'm going to be hasty!

All of the maps will someday be in my hands...  
I'll laugh as I run through

That's right, it's not because I'm weak  
It's because I'm too strong

The awesome me's the most supreme! The strongest!  
The one who gets the last laugh, yeah!  
Is the awesome me, of course!

Danke!

Everyone! Come here!  
Let's exchange our email addresses  
Being alone is too much fun  
Everything will be in these hands! Just you wait!  
A succession of victories for sure!

(Watch over me please, Father Fritz  
Watch over me please, Father Fritz  
Watch over me please, Father Fritz)"

Igi blushed, because by then Prussia had gone _full rock mode. _He had taken off his shirt and was waving it around in the air.

"Put your shirt back on," Igi muttered.

"You know you don't want me to," Prussia said.

"Shut up. Anyway, I have a personal theme song! It's- wait, America has a theme song?" she folded her arms. "Oh, no, wait, he has a version of Marukaite Chikyuu. Anyway, my theme song is This is Why We Fight by The Decemberists!" she said, stealing the microphone back from Prussia. "At least, until I change it again," she muttered.

"Come the war  
Come the avarice  
Come the war  
Come hell

Come attrition  
Come the reek of bones  
Come attrition  
Come hell

This is why  
Why we fight  
Why we lie awake  
And this is why  
This is why we fight

When we die  
We will die  
With our arms unbound

And this is why  
This is why  
Why we fight  
Come hell

Bride of quiet  
Bride of all unquiet things  
Bride of quiet  
Bride of hell

Come the archers  
Come the infantry  
Come the archers  
Of hell

This is why  
Why we fight  
Why we lie awake  
This is why  
This is why we fight

And when we die  
We will die  
With our arms unbound  
And this is why  
This is why we fight  
Come hell  
Come hell

This is why  
Why we fight  
Why we lie awake  
This is why  
This is why we fight

When we die  
We will die with our arms unbound  
And this is why  
This is why we fight

So come to me  
Come to me now  
Lay your arms around me  
And this is why  
This is why  
We fight  
Come hell  
Come hell  
Come hell  
Come hell."

She finished the song with a flourish. Prussia, leaning on the table, clapped. "That song shows off your Prussian side, liebe."

"I know, that's why I love it so," Igi said. "All right, I think we've proved our point?"

She exchanged a high five with The Awesome Prussia.


	9. Russia

Igi looked at the latest request and jumped. Prussia looked over her shoulder and paled. France read it and his crotch rose wilted.

"This is from Russia..." Igi muttered nervously."

**Nice to see you I can have some of that vodka da?**

"HI Russia!" Igi said nervously. "Sure you can, I keep it around in case of emergency. You should also meet my Russian friend...she'd like you."

Prussia smacked her on the back of the head. "Are you talking about Alexie? You know if he met her, we'd need to run from the rising apocalypse!"

"Sorryy! She told me to tell him that when I saw him!"

Igi pulled out the Vodka. "Hope you like it, Russia...oh, and here's a sunflower I got at the store."

The Vodka and sunflower were nervously handed over to a now appeased Russia.


	10. Russia 2

_**A/N: Warning...Russia being Russia. **_

There was a small "Eep!" sound from behind the computer.

The Bad Touch Trio paled. If Igi though it was bad, THEN IT'S BAD.

"Holy fucking god...Russia."

**Hello again Igi: Nice to know we have something In common! Torturing nations!  
Yay**

Anyway...

France: I would like you to go to all of the night clubs in France. You are  
not allowed to Flirt. I am sending Igi an electric collar to make sure to stay  
in line. Every time your chromosomes start acting up, or you say anything,you  
will be shocked around the neck. And it will be impossible for you to pass  
out; there is a little knife dipped in rubbing alcohol that stabs you every 10  
minutes. The collie will fall off when you have gone to all of the clubs. But  
if you don't stay in them for at least 15 minutes each, then it will give you  
a 1st degree burn. Have fun

Spain: You aren't really on my to kill list. Yet All you have to do is stay in  
a cage with Belerus for 5 hours. She has all of her favorite knifes; I can't  
wait to see te pretty designs on your body when you come out

Prussia: I don't like you So I have crushed your little gilbird into a pulp,  
which you will eat. I've told hungrey that you are trying to invade Rodrichs  
vital regions. Prepare for a little visit from er and her frying pan in 30  
minutes. I'm also giving you a lock on helmet that drips a drop of acid onto  
your skull every time you say the word awesome. It will unlock in a week.

Bye 

Igi smirked. "Well, I'm into France's nightclub adventures." she snapped the collar on. "GO FORTH, my minion."

She gave Spain a hug. "It was nice to know you, bro. I will make sure Romano visits your funeral, kay?"

"Si," Spain said sadly.

"Do not talk to her. Tr to disappear by being still and quiet. That's all the advice I can give."

"I'll try."

Then it was Prussia's turn for goodbyes.

"Dude, I think you'll surely die from this, so I'll tell you the password to my iPad. But if you survive, I'm changing it. The password to my iPad is IchLiebePreussen."

Prussia beamed. "Really?"

"Duh! I'm your ex-stalker and number one fangirl."

"True."

Igi looked around. "France is already moving, Spain is gone...I guess this is goodbye then, Prussia-sama."

Prussia smiled. "I love it when you call me that."

"Yeah, don't expect it if you make it out."

"I'm to awesome to die-AGH!"

"Right."

There was a knock at the door. "Start running, your awesomeness...Hungary is here."

Prussia paled and took off running. Igi sighed.

"Damn. I like having them around, no matter how much I complain." she sat down on the couch.

"They had better give me a call when they get out of this."

A few hours later, Igi got texts from France and Spain begging her to bust them out. She texted both back,

**I must obey the fans, Even if this is Russia's dares. I'm sorry. Really. Seriously. **

**This is really cruel, even for Russia... O_o**

**Iron Girl**

Prussia came back around the same time as Spain, and Russia had given him dead Gilbird.

Which he had to eat.

"Heilige Mutter Gottes, Preußen. Das ist wirklich scheiße." Our authoress muttered.

Prussia agreed.

Being a vegetarian, the authoress immediately hurled as Prussia choked down dead Gilbird.

"Oh Sweet mother of Prussia, he's actuall-" she proceeded to hurl again.

"I have a lot of them," Prussia muttered.

Igi hugged Prussia. "It's ok..."

"Oh god what have I done..."

They then both bandaged up Spain and waited for France, who returned a few days later with five burns and a rather large stab wound.


	11. America 3

Igi smirked.

"Preusssennn...America returns."

**Those songs are LAME. I don't listen to lame songs. AAAAAND, they are  
unawesome. :P It's just not... aaah... Catchy. And I only like AWESOME heroes  
like Captain America, Batman, (HAHA His song is catchy) Me, Superman, me, ad  
me! Haha, I sound as arrogant as Prussia. Haha! And I'm not a superhero NERD.  
The hero is not a nerd! Haha! **

"Oh, please. I am a nerd. You are a nerd. Nerds recognize other nerds. Did you see my AWESOME X-Men shirt?" Igi asked, pulling on her red "Mutant Freedom Now" shirt.

"Oh, I changed my theme song to One Girl Revolution by Superchick. Go YouTube that and say that's un-awesome. Plus, heroes can be nerds. The Incredible Hulk is a SCIENTIST, bro. Brush up on your hero lore! And Iron Man is the AWESOMEST!"

"I'm not arrogant!"

"Yes you are."

"Are not!"

"Are so!"

"Prusse! Shut up!" France called from the other room.

"Oh right. Sorry France!" Prussia whispered.

"Yeah, he's still beat up from Russia's challenge."

"That was not cool."

"Yeah, it really wasn't. I secretly love you guys." Igi said, giving Prussia a hug. "And people wonder why I want to go to Europe," she added in a mutter.


	12. Ally

Igi smiled. "Finally! Someone asked Prussia!"

"Asked me what?"

**Hello, this is Ally. I'd like to dare them to do something un-thinkable. Now,  
let me think.  
Prussia, Who do you like? No one has asked so... Have Igi record it using her  
camcorder and sent it out over the world. This is not a request Gilbert!  
France... Oh france... Let your rose garden die. Don't you dare water it for  
an entire month.  
Spain, admit you love Romano on a video, completely serious, and send it to  
Italy. I kind of want to see Feliciano's reaction.**

Ciao 

"See people? This is EXACTLY what I want out of this!" The authoress crowed. "I'm stealin' you sprinklers, France," she added. "Oh yeah, SPAMANO too! I'm not a pairing bitch or anything, but when I pair...I PAIR SPAMANO."

France's sprinklers magically disappeared by The-Goddamn-Iron-Girl's awesome authoress magic.

"There's France's...I predict insanity in one week, Ally. Now Prussia nii-chan," Igi said, shifting her iPad to camcorder mode. "Answer the question..."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes, that's kind of the point of doing this 'Fan Request' thing."

"Um, ok."

She started recording. "So Prussia...yet another recorded fan request."

"Ja. I'm supposed to admit who I have a crush on..."

"Aaaand?" the authoress asked hopefully.

"Well, I kind of...like...it's complicated."

"Go on."

"Well, I like two people."

"The freaking-"

"I like you," Prussia said hurriedly, "Igi I mean. And...um, Hungary."

_**A/N: I am not a PrusHun shipper. Sometimes. The stars favor PrusHun today. **_

Igi flushed. "Thank you, Prussia." she shut the camcorder off. "That's still going all over the world, because that's the dare." she began to type.

"There. Now Spain." she held up the camera again.

"Um...hi Ita!" Spain said. (At least he sounded normal.)

"I love your little brother..." Igi cut it off before he finished the sentence. "...like a brother!"

"Ah, too late. I cut you off. Italy won't know."

A few minutes later-

**From: ItalyPastaVee **

**To: The-Goddamn-Iron-Girl **

**Re: Spain has something to tell you**

**Ve~! If Spain loves Roma, then that is ok! Did you want some pasta, ve Igi?**

And a few minutes after:

**From: IamtheFryingPanMaiden **

**To: The-Goddamn-Iron-Girl **

**Do you wish for me to bestow my frying pan on Prussia's head? Because I can. **


	13. Russia 3

"PREUSSENNN! HELP!" Igi screamed. The Bad Touch Trio raced into the study.

"LOOK AT THIS!"

**I am not cruel... You said to get them to stop bothering you. I did that, da?**

And спасибо for the vodka and sunflower. The sunflower is happy on  
windowsill, and I have drunken the vodka.

Oh!

I forgot.

I have another dare for you.

You can all come to my house for tonight.

It will be fun, da? 

"I never thought I'd say this, Igi, but...we have to use the secret weapon."

"What?"

"Your friend. She will keep Russia occupied, non? And you said she wanted to meet him."

"Right, right...hey Russia, we'll come over. And my friend wants to meet you, is that ok? She's Russian, and she thought she would get along with you. Ok. Thank you."

Everybody hid in the closet, where France got Francey and Igi kicked him in the Crotch rose.

_**A/N: Mein Gott! Such a positive turnout! ^_^**_


	14. Ally 2

"AWWW YEAH."

"What?"

**Oh.. I just saw Ivan's last post... Now I feel like an idiot. All out battle  
against Igi Capcom vs Tekkan. (sorry If I spelled that wrong.) **

The Bad Touch Trio paled. Igi tossed them remotes.

"Chill. I won't get violent. You're injured."

Igi played as Chun-li, Prussia the awesome played as Ryu, France played as Raven, and Spain played as Law.

"I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING."

"You're button-mashing? You're WINNING!"

"Damn right I'm winning! I'm The-Goddamn-Iron-Girl!"

TV: Chun-Li WINS!"

Igi cheered.

"Another victory for the Invincible Iron Girl! Shout that I am awesome, kneel down and cry!"

"You stole my aw- my line!"

"Damn right I did!"

TV: Raven versus Chun-Li!

Five minutes later...

TV: Chun-Li WINS!

"MERDE!"

"LOL LOOSAHS."

TV: Law Versus Chun-Li!

Five minutes later...

TV: Chun-Li wins!

"LOOOOSAHHHHZZZ."


	15. Russia 4

Igi paled once more as her phone rang and she read the message.

**Oh, that will be very fun! Tell your friend she can stay As Long As She Wants.**

I have plenty of спасибо to share. And please tell her not to worry  
about the screaming noises coming from the basement. It is just me playing  
with Lithuania.  
до свидания,  
Russia 

She immediately texted Alexie,

**Lex, Russia says you can come with. He also says not to worry about the screaming noises from the basement.**

**What?**

**Yeah, I'll show you exactly what he said when you get here.**

Alexie showed up at Igi's house in fifteen minutes. She had medium-length blond hair, pulled back in a ponytail, blue eyes, freckles, and was wearing a pair of jeans with an old t-shirt and a pocketknife on her belt. Yes, a pocketknife.

"Take a good look at this. This explains everything you were confused about. It just does."

Alexie smiled.

"Ok!"

Igi blinked. "How am I friends with you?"

"Ask Russia if I can borrow his plumbing-" Igi duct taped Alexie's mouth.

"NEIN. You will NOT."

_**A/N: In honor of my awesome buddy, Alexie, possibly one of the few people in the world who wants to meet Russia and borrow his pipe of doom. **_


	16. Ally 3

Igi frowned. "Dammit, this link isn't working."

**Would you mind having this sent around the world? I'm curious how and when  
they were convinced to do this? Spain... What were you thinking? Seriously?  
watch?vPJNGxa22HZ0**

"DAMMIT, I wanted to see an embarassing video of Spain," she cursed.

"I would, but I'd need a better link. Shit!"

"Aww, better luck next time chica," Spain said, relieved.

"That sucks!" Prussia said. "The link is not awesome-AUGH!"

"Yet another day with the Bat Touch Trio, ladies and Gentlemen!"


	17. Russia 5

Igi smiled for once.

"Good, Ukraine gave us one instead of Russia."

France made a France face. "Ukraine?!"

"It's for Spain."

**нет, She cannot borrow Mr. Pipe.**

Oh! I have thought up a dare!

I went easy on Spain last time, so here is another. Yay! Now he has two!

Spain has to replace all of Romanos clothes with tomatoes costumes, and after  
he puts them on, take a million pictures and tell him that Germany loves that  
Kim of thing.

I lied.

This is really from Ukraine. But don't worry! I will give you some dares soon.

"Spain?"

"Si! I will do that!" Spain said cheerily. "It's not that bad."

"SEE ALEXIE! I told you he wouldn't let you borrow the pipe!"

"Aww."

Spain was already gone.

Igi gave Hungary a call.

"Hey, Hungary, can I borrow your ultra-high tech cameras? I've got a dare between Spain and Romano that NEEDS to be filmed..."

Romano opened his closet.

"What the fuck? TOMATO BASTARRRD!" Romano yell-complained, putting on one of the tomato suits. "Because I have nothing else to wear..."

Spain pounced, with a motion capture camera.

"LOVI~! I knew you were a tomate! I bet Germany is going to love this!"

"Wha-THE POTATO BASTARD! DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE, TOMATO BASTARD!" Romano began to chase a laughing Spain.

"Gracias, Ukraine!"


	18. Russia 6

Igi grinned. "Hey France! England!"

England, who happened to be visiting, looked in.

"I have something awesome to show you..."

"Oh god, what?"

**The new link also cut off. :(  
I was hoping I could see Romano in pain. Oh well!**

So France... Hello. I still don't like you

How did you enjoy your present. Fun, da?

Well I have a dare for you (France) now.  
You must go to England's house and eat all of his food that he cooks. For 2  
days. If you fail to eat anything, throw up, flirt, or insult England, I will  
come and punish you with my pipe.

до свидания, Russia 

France paled and dramatically fell to the floor, wailing.

"I'll come with you, France~! I love sceones!" Igi said happily. Everybody except England inched away from her.

"Yeah, that's because you're also part British," Prussia said.

"My mom likes scones, she's no British."

"Your family is just crazy."

"Yeah, pretty much. Don't worry Russia, England will cook for France and I for the next few days. If they get out of line, I'll give you a shout, kay? Oh, and shout-out to Ally. I got the link to work, thanks for the help, and it is now residing in many email inboxes around the world. Gracias!"


	19. Ally 4

Igi read the new letter out loud.

**YAY It worked!  
New dares?  
Uhm..  
Prussia has to read every single one of his diaries out loud to Spain and  
France. But there's a catch, every time it says the words 'awesome' or  
'unawesome', Prussia has to give them each a dollar. (That includes you Igi,  
prepare to be rich!) **

"MEIN GOTT. Thankyouthankyouthankyouthan kyou! I need more money! I've got my eye on this awesome binder fir school, and it's got the Allies on it, I love the Allies they're my chaplings and-"

Spain shut her up by putting his hand over her mouth.

"Prusia?"

"Fine."

Prussia brought back a box full of notebooks. "Here's the first box. Ok, Entryn umber one. I AM AWESOME!"

Eventually, all three put jars in front of them. Prussia would put the money in the jar, and Igi, Spain, and France would death match in Black Ops and listen as Prussia read.

A few hours later...

"I'M RICH! One hundred thousand dollarsss! Thank you! Tht is enough to buy the binder and that bag with England on it and print up that nice shirt I made that says 'I 3 the Bad Touch Trio', and to buy Hetalia pins, and buy Alexie her own pipe and a cosplay costume for me, and-"

France duct-taped her mouth shut so she couldn't ramble anymore.

"Unlimited wine and crotch roses!"

"Tomates!"

"Danke!" Igi mumbled around the tape.


	20. Ally 5

Igi unlocked her iPad, read the new letter, and grinned.

**Igi, this one is for you. I think you might just enjoy this one. But don't let  
the BTT read this one.  
Barrow some of that fangirl-madness power (Everyone has it) and turn all three  
of them into their Fem! counterparts. Remove all mirrors so they can't see  
themselves and disallow the words 'female(s)' 'girl(s)' 'woman' 'women' 'male'  
'boy(s)' 'guy(s)' and 'dude'. Then put them in a room to see how long it takes  
them to figure it out.**

Igi grinned. "Ohhh, mannn. I'm gonna love this."

She discreetly went to the back rooms (that does have an attached bathroom) and removed the mirror.

"HEY PRUSSIA! SPAIN! FRANCE! THERE'S TOMATOES, WINE, AND BEER IN THE BACK ROOMs!"

Too easy. Just...too easy. She barred the doors when they split into separate rooms.

"Muahaha! By the awesome authoress power invested in me, I turn the Bad Touch Trio into their female counterparts!" she muttered. Then she walked off into the TV room.

"I may or may not keep this up...I love the Fem!Touch trio."

There was a scream from Fem!Prussia's room. "SHEISSE! I'M GOING TO MURDER YOU, IGI!

The authoress smirked. "The fan's wishes are my command, Preussen!"

"FUUUU!"

Igi smiled. "You know you love me, boys!"

_All questions and dares from now until tomorrow will be done by the Fem!Touch Trio. _


	21. Russia 7

Igi paled once more.

"Boys-um, I mean, girls, new letter from Russia."

**I hate Poland. Don't you?  
Da.  
I have a solution.  
All of you go murder Poland in the most painful way possible. Have fun  
до свидания,  
Russia **

"Isn't that your thing, Russia?" Alexie asked. She happened to be there because her dog likes to play with Igi's.

"Ja," Fem!Prussia said. "It usually is. But I'm not opposed to annoying Poland."

"Murder Poland?" Fem!France said. "I like Poland. Sometimes."

Fem!Spain was not listening.

"Fine," Igi said, sighing. "Alexie, you can go take care of it. Go."

So they sent the crazy Russian to deal with it. But she got lost and so, after a full day, everyone just gave up on ever finding Poland, because he was all 00-Ninja.

_**A/N: I know, lame. I'm just STRESSED. New School soon. :(**_


	22. Ally 6

Igi giggled. "Boys- um, I mean, girls, look at this."

**OOHH YESSSSS!  
Please tell france to refrain from groping herself.  
Fem!France: Go over to England and ask why he didn't hold the Olympics in the  
traditional manner. (AKA: Butt naked)  
Fem!Spain:Go and talk to Romano, don't let him know who you are until he  
mentions tomatoes. Then, and only then, can you reveal who you are.  
Fem!Prussia:Go onto a skype with Hungary and ask whom she likes. Once she  
responds, reveal whom you are. **

"France, you heard."

Fem!France groaned. "Aww."

Spain smiled. "Si!"

Fem!Spain walked over to Romano.

"Hola!"

"Oh, hello," Romano said grumpily. As usual.

"You are so cute!" Fem!Spain said cheerily.

"You know who you remind me of? This bastard I know. He really likes tomatoes. Weirdo."

"Hola Lovi~!"

"Gah! TOMATO BASTARD IS A GIRL NOW!"

"Sii!"

Romano groaned and headdesked into his dining room table.

Fem!France ran over to England. "Angleterre!"

"Oh god, you're a girl now...what do you want."

"Why did you not hold the Olympics in the..." cue french eyebrows- "traditional way?"

England flushed. "Bloody wanker, that's because the rest of the world aren't perverts like you!"

"Ohonhonhonhon~"

"I'M STILL MAKING YOUR DINNER, FROG!"

[Igi has hacked the Skype record for your viewing entertainment.]

**IamFryingPanMaiden****: Hello, random person I've met on Skype! Girl or boy?**

**ThaAwesome1****: ...girl. **

**IamFryingPanMaiden****: Cool me too :)**

**ThaAwesome1****: So do you have a crush on anyone? ;)**

**IamFryingPanMaiden****: Maybe. Maybe not.**

**ThaAwesome1****: Whooo? **

**IamFryingPanMaiden****: My ex. :(**

**ThaAwesome1****: Kesesesese! Hello, Hungary!**

**IamFryingPanMaiden****: Damn, it's you. ...you said you were a girl?**

**ThaAwesome1****: I have been turned into a girl for a day by my authoress friend. Not awesome.**

**IamFryingPanMaiden****: I say that's very awesome. **

**IamFryingPanMaiden**** is offline.**


	23. Russia 8

There doesn't even need to be a description of how pale everyone got when they saw the next letter.

**Da. It is my thing. I just want Igi to do it. As a dare. I am busy with Litva, **

**so... I can't kill him right now. **

**I hope you like your new school. :) **

**до свидания**

"Sweet mother of Prussia," Igi said. "Hide mee..."

"Nein. You are going to go appease the Russian by going and murdering Poland."

"Et tu Brute! I am not going to become a felon for this ask!"

"We do not want an angry Russian around here. Go. Schnell!"

"Fuck you all. I don't even want to know what Russia is doing with Latvia."

The BTT shoved her out the door. "Kill Poland so Russia doesn't kill us, Oui?"

"I hate you! I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wipers! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

Somehow everyone managed to be serious even though she had just quoted the French taunting scene of Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

"Oh...I've got an idea."

She pulled out her cell phone and made a phone call.

"Hello, Natalya. Yes. Your brother needs a visit to keep him from making me kill Poland. Great. Make him promise? Thank you."

She hung up. "Boysss! I took care of it! Let me back in!"

"That fast?" France said suspiciously.

"I called in the big guns," Igi said mischievously.

"It was nice to know you alive."

"Um...thanks for the wishes, Russia. Please don't kill me...heh heh. I just don't like killing people, ok? I may like to fight with these three, and that may get physical, but I'm really not that violent. Please don't hit me with the pipe." she retreated into the house.


	24. BTTfangirl14

Igi grinned. "Hey guys, look, we have a clean enough one. This is exactly the kind of stuff I like!"

Everybody sighed in relief.

**hey! I'm a bad touch trio fangirl and i have a few questions **

**1. what is your official group name is it bad friends trio or bad touch trio? **

**2. im also an england fangirl as well so... prussia and spain who do you guys **

**like? i need to know **

**3. prussia have you seen the video the last night its by crimson hour cosplay **

**and it makes me cry every time! and i also have a burning hatred for austria **

**that stupid aristocrat. **

**bye! BTTfangirl14**

"Hello! I am also a BTT fangirl, which is why I caved to them, their awesomeness, and my deep and unbounded love for their idiocy," Igi said, punching France in the arm.

"Ohonhonhon, as to our name, amour-"

"I like to call them the Bad Touch trio," Igi interrupted. "Because that's what they do. Also, Bad Friends implies that they're not nice to each other, doesnt it?"

"We're nice to each other..." Prussia said, smirking. "...once every blue moon, that is," he added jokingly.

"Ah yeah! Someone else is an fangirl of BOTH England and the BTT! I'm not crazy!" the authoress exclaimed.

"Inglaterra? Are you suggesting...?"

"Yes. Probably. I don't know. Answer."

"Well, it's most certainly NOT Inglaterra!" Spain said, scandalized.

"I feel so loved!" England called from upstairs.

"What? He hangs around here to answer his letter box...and because London likes it here," the authoress said in response to the confused looks she received.

"I believe la Prusse has already declared his love for Miss Hungary?"

"Yeah, he has," Igi said, blushing and looking down.

"Hm...the video sounds familiar. I think I walked in on her watching it once. She freaked out and kicked me out of her room."

"Damn right I did! Why did you just walk in on me? And yes, it's SO FREAKING SAD. I'm not a massive shipper for PruHun- but I don't ship pairings for any show, really, so it's not saying much."

"Speaking of which, why do you have a picture of us as the background on your iPad?"

"Right...why do I have a picture of my awesome friends as the background on my iPad. And why are you so obsessed with finding what I do on my iPad?"

"Hey, just asking."

"FINALLY, another person sees the light!" Prussia and Igi said at the same time, then glared at each other.

"Yeah, Igi, you pretty much solely have a burning hatred for Austria because he produced your worst nemesis."

"THAT IS A GOOD REASON."

"Good point, considering we both have Austrian hater 'friends' who hate on our awesomeness!" Prussia said, laughing.

"Ohonhonhon~ Your Prussian side is showing, ma cherie~"

"Don't think I haven't noticed...it has no shame."

They all laughed.

"Seriously though, be good to her," Spain said, ruffling Igi's hair. "She spent all day typing up our dares! And sometimes she doesn't know where we should go with one...like when Russia told us to go kill Poland."

"I don't need to be babied, Spain," Igi muttered, dodging his hand.

"True, but you have been working hard, non?"

"Ok, maybe I have."


	25. Bururu 3

Igi screamed and dropped her iPad as she read the new letter.

**Salut mes amis! **

**France, Je'taime! **

**So I have a job for all of you. **

**In honor of the recently ended London 2012 Olympics, I want you to go to EVERY **

**Olympic competitor EVER that is still alive and... hug 'em. Got it? **

**But Spain and France... I have an extra job for you. **

**Say Sealand is a country and RECOGNISE HIM AS AN OFFICIAL COUNTRY. **

**And Prussia? You can handle all the Hungarian Olympic competitors. And while **

**you're there, give her a sweet kiss on the cheek. **

**AND YOU ALL CAN TIE UP AND DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO IGI UNTIL SHE SAYS THAT **

**IRON MAN IS TOTALLY NOT AWESOME. **

**Amour, **

**Bururu**

"Merci!"

"Go take care of the Olympians," the authoress muttered. "Hopefully that will give me enough time to hide my valuables and grab a rape whistle..."

"Fine..."

BAD TOUCH TRIO, ASSEMBLE AND..._CONQUER._

~Somewhere in Hungary~

"Hey Eliza!" Prussia said cheerily, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"FRYING PAN POWERS ACTIVATE!"

Afterwards, many Olympians "WTF"ed.

~Back at the house~

"Sealand?" France asked. "Sure, I'll do it. Just to annoy l'Angleterre."

"It's absolutely worth getting a rise out of Inglaterra!"

"Sealand is a country, Oui?"

"Si, Sealand is a country."

England ran downstairs with killer scones. "What did you wankers say!?"

Meanwhile, Prussia finished capturing the authoress.

"You will never get me to diss Iron Man, arschloch!"

Prussia carried her into the main basement.

"Kesesese~ France! We get to torture our authoress!"

"Ohonhonhon~"

"Fusososososo~"

"ICH HASSE DICH!" the captured authoress growled.

"Aww, we won't get creepy. We love you."

Igi struggled. "Te odio."

"Te amo demasiado, Igi~!"

"Fuuuuck."

"So awesome-in-training," Prussia said, smiling evilly. "Anything you'd like to say now before we get started?"

"Je vous hais."

"J'taime, Igi~"

France walked in. "I've been over to Amerique's to borrow this..."

He was holding a DVD that read, _Twilight. _

"Go die in a hole, France."

"Ohonhonhon~"

"Kesese~"

England could hear the screams from upstairs.

"England nii-chan? What's that?" London asked, looking up from her first-edition copy of A Study in Scarlet.

"Nothing. Those wankers Igi keeps in the basement have decided to tie her up and make her watch Twilight."

"Oh. Ok. When should we get worried?"

England looked at the clock. "Two hours or so."

London nodded. "Hey, England nii, can I have some tea?"

"Sure."

When the movie was over, the desperate authoress rolled off the couch and tried to army crawl away.

"Noo! Francis' turn to pick torture, because Antonio picked that one!"

"Oui!"

"GOTTVERDAMMT!"

"You know, you should really swear in German more, liebe, it's really cute."

"Fuck off, Prussia."

"Oui, I say that we leave her on Switzerland's lawn as revenge for inceptioning the readers into making us go there!"

"DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE."

"Ohonhonhon~ I'm allowed to."

"Dammit. Where's anyone who doesn't hate me when you need 'em? Where's Michele, anyway? She would love to get me out of here right about now."

"She's in San Diego, Ja?"

"Damn."

"All right, back to LE torture! We're going to leave her in Switzerland's front yard!"

Fifteen minutes, duct tape, and some chloroform later

Switzerland looked out onto his lawn.

"Dammit...they never learn."

He pulled his favorite rifle off of the shelf and ran outside.

"How many times do I have to say, I don't like you in my territory-Igi?"

"Oh, hi Switzy," Igi said. "My ex-friends the BTT got a dare to torture me until I deny Iron Man's awesomeness...which is why I've been duct-taped to a scarecrow pole and left in your yard."

"Why don't you just say it?"

"Never! I was named after Iron Man! That's like saying Prussia's not awesome...it indirectly insults me!"

Switzy nodded. "I see. Well. Um..." he pulled her down off the scarecrow pole. "Just keep them off my lawn, ok?"

"Sure thing. Thanks."

"No problem."

In a bush nearby, Prussia smacked France. "That failed. Dummkopf."

"Aah! Sorry!"

The chloroform was called out again for the return trip.

Prussia smirked as the authoress woke up.

"I know a sure way to make you say what we want you to say, liebe."

"You shall never break me!"

Prussia smirked again. "Not even by doing this?"

He gave her a kiss.

On the lips.

"Ok, I will admit...nothing can compare to the awesomeness of that. That had the awesomeness of a thousand dying suns, and next to that, Iron Man's awesomeness is nothing."

"I think we got one!" Spain cheered.

"Untie me and you still have a shot at not being my ex-friends."


	26. Bookielovesanimeeee

Igi smirked and looked slyly over at the BTT, who were borrowing her copy of Iron Man Blu-Ray.

"Yess!" she hissed. "The perfect time to pounce on them and complete this dare!"

**Okay, Okay, Okay...  
Hi! :D  
I have a dare for guys! (Not including the Authoress! c:)**

2P! BTT and BTT are locked in a room, for five minutes, (Because I'm being  
nice), what happens? c:

Authoress, DC IS THE BEST! BATMAN IS TOTALLY AWESOMER THAN IRON MAN!

Okay, yeah, I feel strongly about DC and Batman, you can ignore that...OTL...

Anywayyy, I fangirl over a lot of countries...Austria too...I think that  
classy aristocrat is awesome...Yeah, I used awesome to describe Austria!

I went there and sent back a postcard!

I really need to eat. I get /rreeealllyyy/ weird when I'm hungry... :I  


"Thank god I don't have to be in there," she muttered, typing, "I'm too awesome to die..."

"What are you doing, mein awesome Authoress frau?"

"Gah! He's caught me!" Igi shrieked. "Quickly! By the power invested in me by , Iron Man, and my imagination, I banish the Bad Touch Trio to stay in a room for five minutes with the 2P!Bad Touch Trio! In the name of...whoever asked me to do this as a request!"

"What the hell, frau. That was a mouthful."

Igi was panting. "You must obey my demands as I am the authoress!"

Then the BTT vanished.

"WAS DIE HÖLLE? Iron Man is the best superhero ever! But any Batman fan will agree that money is the best superpower, amIright? See, Iron Man is awesome because most superheroes are all like, 'Ooh, I've got superpowers. Now I'm going to go be all selfless!' which everybody knows it but doesn't say it, nobody would really do that. Admit it. But Iron Man, he was all like, 'Now that I've got an awesome indestructible mecha-suit, I'm going to stop people from smearing my name (because I really don't like it when people do this, it pisses me off) and stuff!' Which honestly, who wouldn't? First thing I do when I finish building- I mean, build my Iron Girl suit is I'm going to go scare America! Kese!"

**By the magic power of the awesome Authoress, we've skipped most of her rant (which lasted five minutes) so you don't get bored. **

"...And, the last thing I love about Iron Man is his ego." she blushed. "It makes him imperfect, y'know? Plus...I kind of find egos strangely endearing, if they have a good root."

The Bad Touch Trio returned just then.

"WAS DIE HÖLLE, FRAU? The awesome me nearly died!"

"Heh, sorry. What the fans want, the fans get. What happened?"

"France and 2P!Spain tried to start an orgy party..."

"OK SRSLY, WAS DIE HÖLLE."

"Yep. Now can we finish the awesome movie that you love so?"

"Sure, go ahead. WAIT!"

Prussia paused in the middle of grabbing the remote.

"EXORCISM TIME."

France: Ohonhonhonhon~

Spain: O_O

Prussia: WTF

The authoress shoved the letter over to Prussia.

"WTF!? How do they like that wimp Austria?!"

"I don't know either, Prussia nii. I can get along with Austria...if forced to, but like him?"

"You can get along with him? TRAITOR."

"Hey, no! Blame my British side, ok? My Prussian side hates his guts!"

"Gut. You are no longer a traitor."

"Oh, and I get really...Romano when I'm hungry. Speaking of which, where's my goddamn pizza, bastards?"


	27. Russia 9

"Oh god hide...mee..."

**Belerus has finally left. Don't make me angry. You don't want a war da?**

So Igi, you have to do this dare, or I will have great fun smashing your head  
in. :).

1. I have sent General winter to your house. You must let him in for at least  
an hour.

2. You have to eat a Gilbird. Alive.

3. You must become one with me.

Прощай товарищ 

"Well, the first one won't be a problem, because I like winter, Russia," the authoress said, smiling forcedly. "What exactly does becoming one with you entail?"

Prussia rapidly made slicing motions across his throat, and Igi caugh on. "Oh...damn."

She hid behind a fortunately present England. "ENGLAND! Hidemehidemehidemehidemehide me..."

"What's wrong with her?"

"Well, Angleterre, Russie has asked her to eat one of Prusse's Gilbirds- live- and become one." France said, shivering.

"Bloody hell!"

"Oui."

"Russia, you do realize that if she eats any meat she'll die?"

"It's true! I haven't had ANY MEAT. Ever. In my whole life. When America tried to slip me some chicken cubes, I almost choked. And vomited. That would have been a horrible way to die. If England hadn't given me the Heimlich..."

"America, China, and I can vouch for it, Russia. She cannot eat any meat. Ever."

"And on the subject of becoming one...I'd like to know what I could do for your world dominaa0tion plan, Russia. Don't pretend you don't have one! I'd just like to know...what value would I have? I'm not a country..."

"She's human," France broke in. "One hundred percent human, oui?"

"Ja."

"Si!"

"Yes."

"Anybody want jackets? It's getting cold in here."

"Anyway, Russia, I will [probably] become one with you, I'd just like to know if there's a particular reason."


	28. Russia 10

"Russia's responded."

**I just think it would be nice to have someone to keep me company. Only having  
the Baltics around is no fun, da?  
Since you are human, you don't have to live with me. You just have to do what  
I want. :)  
If you want, I could knock you out before you eat the Gilbird. Don't worry,  
I'd be happy to, da? **

"Um, Russia? Knocking her out before making her eat the Gilbird will still cause her to die. That counteracts the point of making her one, doesn't it?"

"Oh, and Russia, I'll still be friendly with you if I don't have to become one? Please? Because Prussia says that if this was his house he'd have kicked me out already."

"True...you're crazy."

"I WAS BORN TO BE A PRUSSIAN TERRITORY."

"You're still saying that?"

"YES."

"You're all so strange," England said, facepalming.

"Yes, we are. Anyway, Russia, I'll be friendly to you, kay? Kay. Sending Vodka and sunflowers from America's West Coast!"

"Good luck with not dying."

"BETTER THAN HAVING TO KILL POLAND! Besides, if you're nice to someone hwo knows? Plus, I am an Allies fangirl and that INCLUDES RUSSIA, so I will do my best!"


	29. Russia 11

"DISASTER AVERTED!"

**:(**

Well... If you send vodka and sunflowers... And let me visit whenever I  
want... Ok...

You can become one with me anytime!

We will have fun, da? 

"Heh...Ok Russia, Alexie and I will hang with you anytime, ok? Ok. Good. Now that I have appeased the world (I'm so awesome, countries are fighting over me) I will now write a biography as to how the awesome me saved the United States from a second Cold War. BECAUSE I'M AWESOME!"

"I'm awesomer!"

"I AM SUPREME."

"The awesome me's the most supreme! The strongest!"

"Everybody knows I am the future Empress when you make your comeback Prussen!"

"Ja, ja, whatever...not yet."

"I was BORN a Prussian territorry. Admit it."

"Why do you always insist-?"

"BECAUSE. DO not question me!"

"You're going to lose, la Prusse. She has no sanity."

"YEP. I left it in the fanbase! Kesese! DOUBLE RAINBOW."

"It also might have something to do with Spain leaving the cookies out..."

"Ja, that too."

"OMG RUSSIA, moar Vodka and Sunflowers to you! KK baiz~!"


	30. BTTfangirl14 2

"HELLO, my new favorite fan!"

**YAY! SOMEONE ELSE WHO IS A BTT FANGIRL AND AN ENGLAND FANGIRL! IM NOT ALONE!  
and thank you for sharing a burning hatred for austria with me. and i don't  
like france like that...i only like france when he's not being a pervert. HOLY  
ROMAN EMPIRE! PRUSSIA LOVES HUNGARY! MY OTP HAS COME TRUE! I'm going to die  
happy now.**

1. thank you for clearing your group name up for me!  
2. no prussia not gilbird! he's too awesome to die!  
3. france never call me amour again. it's really creepy.  
4. spain i love tomatoes too! can you send me some?  
from,  
BTTfangirl14 

"AAAH! DANKE! Everyone thinks I'm nutso because they're too opposite, but I say, NAY. It is definitely possible! And someone else who shares a burning hatred for Austria is ALWAYS welcome. AND I WILL NOW DIE HAPPY TOO, because Prussia is STRAIGHT or has it in him to like girls so my French fangirl fantasies may continue." Igi took a deep breath, having spewed all that out without pausing. "Yeah, I don't ship, so in my head all the characters date me." :)

"I know, Gilbird is too awesome to die. Just be happy our authoress is deathly allergic to meat..."

"Remember what England said! If I eat meat I will vomit and choke to death! So don't even!"

"Ohonhonhon~ if that is what you want~"

"Le POW!" The authoress exclaimed, socking France in the vital regions.

"Tomates? Sii! Here!"

*by the magic power of The-Goddamn-Iron-Girl, Tomatoes were exchanged during this pause.*

"COME BACK ANYTIME. Prussian territory welcomes yuu, kayy? Kay."

"Why does she even-?"

"I've given up on it myself. I don't mind her declaring herself mein awesome territorry, though!"


	31. Ally 7

"Lol, Finally got the links working!"

**Hey guys! I'm back from school. Soooo BTT how are you? Nevermind, I don't  
care.  
Prussia: Dance this ( watch?vVI04ZyYY3RQ&featurerelated) In a speedo! Lets  
see if the link works this time.  
Please have Spain watch this video: ( watch?vVI04ZyYY3RQ&featurerelated)  
And Igi: This one is for you ( watch?v6QNUtfzTHIc&featurerelated)  
So France... How's your garden?**

Delete the () then paste in browser.

"KFWUAHAHAH. Mine is HILARIOUS! I lost it laughing then my mom walked in and I changed tabs so she was all like O_O WTF." The authoress said, laughing.

"Whatze hell is this-?"

"YOU MAKE MY LIFE COMPLETE b making him do stupid things like this. GO forth, Preussennn!"

Prussia headdesked on the coffee table again, but he did the polka dance anyways.

"Love ya!"

"Whatever."

"SPAIN. Your turn."

"Dios..."

"KFUWHAHAESESESE. OH GOD. Dying laughing. Love you, Spain." The Authoress hugged Spain, who blushed.

"I'm not gay!"

"Whatever you say. France, answer the question."

"C'est horrible! Mon dieu, it's all brown and wilty..."

"MAN OVER."


	32. Ally 8

"Heyyy...ooooh Spaaaaiiin!"

**Since you have mentioning Switzy a lot I figured this might be appropriate.  
(Yes It's another video) Look up "APH- Trigger Happy (Flash)" It's the first  
one again!**

I'm thinking I'll give you a video every-time I do ask a dare.

Prussia: Please do my homework, I don't get it.  
France: Get your camera out and post pictures of the following dare on every  
account he has.  
Spain: Dress up in a chibitalia costume (AKA: maid outfit) And clean Igi's  
house/ do her bidding for the rest of the day.

I know you'll heart me for these! I heart you all back! 

"GrazieDankeMerci! I have chores today, so Spain, after you put on this maid outfit-" **brought to you by magic** "You may go clean my room. Very clean, kay? Then you have to go get cat food from the store for the cat, Walk the dog, and pick up the new version of Street Fighter from Japan. Remind him that he promised."

"Que? But your room is creepy! There's a British flag painted on one wall and then the-" Igi claped her hand over Spain's mouth.

"Do not question my Anglophile ways. France, get your camera and GO. Oh, Spain's password for everything is Tomate!"

"Merciii!" France sang, fetching his digital camera.

"Prussia. Homework. Now."

Five minutes later...

"WHY IS THERE AN ALPHABET IN THESE NUMBERS!?"

"This is why I never ask him to do my homework."


	33. Bururu 4

"Up for reading a looong one, boys?"

**Bonjour!  
France, YOU can't water your garden... but... what about anybody else doing it for you? I don't know, it was a loophole I thought of because I can't bear to see your tres bien roses die! DX  
Je suis désolé for making you say that Igi. I actually really like Marvel and Iron Man, but you just made such a great opportunity. I couldn't pass it up. So if you will, forgive me. (Marvel is tres bien and DC can just kneel down und cry at it's utter awesomeness! Iron Man is AWESOME! But not as awesome as the GREAT Prussia.)  
Hmmm... /thinks about it/  
One thing. Prussia, did your country ever compete in the Olympics before it's merger with West? I just really wanted to know that. As well as my friends.  
Furthermore...  
I am a BTT AND England fangirl. But mostly a France fangirl. J'aime scones!  
I want England and France to be locked inside a closet together. FOR 48 HOURS. Food and water can be provided, but they must be completely isolated from anything outside of that closet! The food will be made by a cook that's worse than any English cook. (No seriously. Make sure that any food this cook makes will be SO BAD even England will hate it beyond belief)  
France and England, you have a set of rules.  
1. No fighting, physically or verbally  
2. No insulting each other whatsoever. (Which means no insulting actions)  
3. France cannot do anything that can even be lightly considered perverted.  
4. You two will say every single wrong you've done against the other in the past 300 years. And remember, they can't say anything that's even remotely insulting towards the other during this.**

Now let's see how long it takes them to crack while in there.  
Now Spain and Prussia, I'm feeling nice. But I'm in a Prussia-y mood (A totally AWESOME mood) so I can't help but torture one of you kesesesese!  
Spain. Get locked in a room filled with tomatoes and with Romano standing in the room as well. You can only touch the air, floor, and NOTHING ELSE. Don't worry, it'll be so that Romano isn't allowed to touch you either.

Prussia, since you're epicly awesome enough to make your way onto my avatar, you get the job of watching the "If I Die Young" Prussia AMV and this other one. ( watch?v5D3YYhYNSio&listUUgQFp-WResgf4ixbN5lHGzw&index3&featureplcp )  
(Remove spaces and parentheses and copy and paste into browser)  
Prussia, you can also go annoy the hell out of London and pull a mystery prank on Igi.  
Piyo Piyo!  
Gilbird is AWESOME! (Maybe the only thing that rivals Prussia's awesomeness other than the Avengers)  
-Bururu 

"LOL JUS. The only things that can rival Prussia's awesomeness are me, Gilbird, and The Avengers! Thank you for apologizing. IRON MAN IS TOO AWESOME! DC can kneel down und cry! Kese! And I'll cook while England and France are in the closet!"

Everyone paled. "France...it was awesome knowing you."

"OK! I've got Hungary's video camera, the keys to the closet, and a plate of scones to trap England! FREEDOMM!"

Igi ran upstairs and lured England into the closet, shutting and locking the door.

"Kese! 48 hours in there, boys! And I'm cooking!"

"She's British," Spain offered as an explanation to a confused and bystanding Alexie.

"SPAAIN!"

"DiosDiosDiosDios..."

Igi dragged Spain into the room.

"Not allowed to touch anything. Hungary and Japan are on video camera duty, so NO funny business, kay? Kay."

Meanwhile, Prussia had been plotting.

"Hey, London!"

London sighed, pausing the television. "What? You do realize I just got off the Olympics and my boss gave me a FULL WEEK of break, right? And I'm going to spend it all watching Doctor Who if it kills me. Plus, I'm bribing- I mean, convincing BBC officials to send Igi free merch for her birthday."

_**A/N: I wish.**_

"Well, that is an awesome birthday present. But you know England is locked in a closet with France downstairs, right?"

"Say what now?"

"Ja, it was a dare for our letter box."

"Bloody- Bloody fans. They all write you!"

"Kese, it's because we're awesome."

"Oh, shut up and let me finish my Doctor Who, wanker."

"What do you even see in this show, anyway?"

"It's just cool!" London gasped, offended. "There's aliens, and a girl, and the Doctor saves the day, because he's clever, and not because he can hit the other guy harder!"

"...what."

"Oh, for god's sake...go talk to Igi, she speaks idiot." London shoved Prussia down into the basement. "God in heaven..." she muttered, locking the door so she wouldn't be disturbed. "Now sing to mee, my Doctorr..."

_**A/N: It's absolutely true, when nobody else is watching I with me, I go all Belarus on the characters. Heh heh. I get emotionally attached, ok?**_

Prussia sauntered down the stairs, to where Hungary, Japan, and Igi were watching the cameras off of Japan's laptop and Igi's iPad.

"Hello. France and England have already been tased. We shoot a current through there every time they break the rules, because you know they will. And there's an electric fence in Spain's room in between him, the tomatoes, and a rather pissed off Romano. This is hilarious. Wanna watch?"

"Did you plan this out before being asked to, or-"

There was a yelling match inside the closet.

"MONTY PYTHON!"

"Oh, GO ON! I LOVE Monty Python!"

"Oi!" Igi yelled into the microphone. "SHUT UP!" she pressed a button, sending the electric current through the walls.

"No, I didn't plan this out, but I think London and Paris did. I think. One day, when they were actually cooperating."

"Wow. Hey..."

Igi looked up from her iPad. "What?" she said crossly.

"You know that person who hacked your Wizard 101 account and sent those strange messages to Alex?"

"YOU. You hacked my W101 to annoy the Austrian."

"Ja."

"WHY DID I NEVER THINK OF THAT. I always need more ways to annoy the Austrian! Come with me. We are going to have a little talk."

"Gah!"

"Hungary! Watch my iPad!"

"Ok!"

"Hey Igi..."

"What?"

"I'm still more awesome than you."

"No you're not."


	34. Bururu 5

"MOTHER OF GOD. NEVER. NEVER."

**Salut! Oh mon dieu that was fabulous! **

**I'll try not to make it a long one this time. (I'll... try...) **

**France: I want you to go bra shopping with Ukraine. You are not allowed to say **

**or do ANYTHING perverted WHATSOEVER. **

**Spain: I heard about your tomato throwing festival! Throw tomatoes FIERCLY at **

**EVERYBODY at some point. :3 **

**Prussia: Tie up and torture Igi again. (Désolé Igi... Non I'm not.) Until **

**she admits that **

**1. Buffy the Vampire Slayer is SO much more awesome than Twilight. (Think you **

**got off easy? Wrong...) **

**2. That France is awesomer than Prussia, the Avengers, Gilbird, and yourself. **

**Désolé I think I'm evil. Guess that explains why I like Loki so much. **

**À bientôt! **

**-Bururu**

"Son of a bitch! I'll admit any day that Buffy is better than Twilight, but HIM-" she pointed to France. "Being literally, the most awesome thing in creation? Nur über meine Leiche! Over my dead body!"

"Aimez-vous aussi!"

"Shut up."

Spain whammed France with a tomato. "Fusoso! I'm going to love this!"

"Ooh...France. You have to go into Victoria's Secret with Ukraine. And not say anything perverted. Here's the duct tape."

"Hey, I need that!" Prussia shouted snatching it. "This one is going to need a lot of torturing, she is my ex-stalker and number one Fangirl!"

"Don't forget born Prussian Territory!"

"...fine, you're my territory. Happy."

"Much," Igi said, smiling. "France may go now."

France left. "Hungary! Go follow him."

Hungary took off with her handy-dandy video camera.

Prussia pounced on Igi and duct-taped her hands together. "Kese!"

Spain nailed Prussia with a tomato.

"Un-awesome, right in the flag!" Prussia complained, scraping tomato bits off his Prussian flag shirt.

"Fuso~"

"All right, time for the torture!" Prussia said, moving Igi to upright. "Kese! Meat!"

"Mein gott! Prussia, you know I'll die if I eat meat!"

"Wasn't that something we made up to scare off Russia?"

"NO! I have literally, swear to god, never had a real piece of meat in my whole life. If I was to eat any, I'd get horribly sick. America put some chicken in my food once? I threw it up immediately and almost choked on the vomit, that's how bad it was. Seriously. No meat."

"Fineee." Prussia groaned.

Spain nailed the authoress with a tomato, Prussia wiped it off of her face.

"Prussia?"

"Ja?"

"YOU WILL NEVER WIN."

"Kesesese~"

"FREEEDOOMMMM!"

"I thought you didn't like BraveHeart?"

"My parents made me watch it," The Authoress said annoyedly. "It was the most boring movie ever."

"Speaking of movies, Frau~"

"OH HELL NO. You did NOT just threaten my copy of Avengers. My future copy of Avengers Blu-Ray, with extra-awesome footage of Captain America. You do not touch my Avengers without my permission!"

"Nah. You'd hold a grudge to that. Did you change the password to your iPad?"

The authoress was silent.

"So you didn't...HÖLLE JA!"

"FICK. Fick. Fick." Igi cursed, whacking her head into the couch.

"Wooah! Nice OC, Frau! A dragon? You considering bringing her into the physical realm, like you did with London?"

"Gill? Maybe."

"A Year of Songs for Concordia. I like this one, Frau. It's a different sort of love story."

"Exactly how I describe it!"

"Hm...starting a new story? 'Life in the Bermuda Frying Pangle'. Another OC? You really like making those."

"Ja, I do. I work better with female characters."

"I like this one. Sort of. The awesome me isn't in it yet! Unfortunately, that priss Austria is."

"I'm mending that."

"Look! Your Internet history!"

"Sheiße."

"Oooooh...this is sexy. Why didn't you just say so?"

"I think everybody knows that I'm your stalker!"

"Ex-stalker."

"Have you ever even been in my room?"

"Ooooh. Hetalia x Reader on DeviantArt."

"WANKER!"

"Prussia x Reader on DeviantArt. England x Reader on DeviantArt. Bad Touch Trio x Reader on DeviantArt. I had no idea you meant it so literally when you said you loved us, Igs..."

"Shut up!" Igi said, blushing. "Some of those are Platonic, you know!"

"Right...and Mein name ist nicht Gilbert Beilschmidt."

"Fuck you."

"Kese! I've touched a nerve here, Bururu!"

"Shut up!"

" ...Ooooh. Us as a THREESOME. Toni, remind me to try that."

"I'm FACEPALMING!" The authoress yelled.

"Hm...why did you read so many stories with me and Austr-"

"FINE. FRANCE, ARSCHLOCH AND PIECE OF SHEIßE, IS AWESOMER THAN ME, PRUSSIA, GILBIRD, AND THE MOTHERFUCKING AVENGERS. NOW STOP LOOKING AT MY MOTHERFUCKING INTERNET HISTORY!"

"Kese~"

"A LOKI fan? I should have known!"

Prussia untied her.

"Lolz, I take it all back...Kese."


	35. Ally 9

"Danke for filling my stange fangirls."

**Last one for the night. I'm going to include At least one dare for each, then **

**one for all of them. **

**After you all finish your dares: **

**France: You can water your plants again- but only with acid **

**Prussia: Please dress up as Holy Roman Empire **

**Spain & Prussia: Act out the scene where Chibitalia says Goodbye to Holy Rome. **

**Not the anime one, the comic one, where Chibitalia gives Holy Rome his panties **

**instead of a stupid push broom. kiss from which ever episode that's from. Make **

**sure to tape it kay? **

**All: AFTER you finish the above dares, You must have a sexy photo shoot. Bare **

**chest must be showing in all pictures. I don't care much about the others. **

**If possible, do you think you can get England to join? I'd like to see him in **

**those leather skinny jeans I've seen some brits where recently. **

**Here's your video to look up. "Anime North 2012: J Michael Tatum on **

**Drivethrough Pranking" Wait for the joke! It takes a minute to ease into it. **

**You have to listen carefully. You might want to use headphones. **

**This guy voices, France, Sebastian (Black butler), Kyoya (Ouran HSHC) and this **

**one guy from One Piece whom I can't name because I don't watch One Piece. **

**Enjoy. :D**

"France? Willing to-?"

"Mon dieu, non!"

"Prussia? GO. My bathroom. Change." the authoress magically produced a HRE outfit and tossed it to Prussia. "This is gonna be hilarious...oh, and Spain, go get that Chibitalia costume I made you wear the other day."

Spain groaned and left.

"Ohonhonhon~ A sexy photo shoot? With l'Angleterre? Where are you going, Igi?"

The authoress was walking away with her head tilted forward.

"Bathroob. Dodt wait ub." she locked the door behind herself.

_**A/N: When you have a nosebleed, you're supposed to tilt it forward. Anything else is LIES, because the actual Red Cross told me to tilt it forward.**_

France smirked. "Honhonhon~"

Prussia returned.

"La Prusse~ Honhonhon~ We are supposed to have a sexy photo shoot. Topless. Not her, though."

"Where is she, anyway?"

"Bathroom...she had to go after I told her about the sexy photo shoot challenge. Her nose sounded stuffy, too," he said, making eyebrows. Prussia smirked.

"I CAN HEAR YOU FrUKING PERVERTS! I TOTALLY DO NOT *snrrk* HAVE A NOSEBLEED!"

"Kesesese~"

"Onhonhonhonhon~"

"Is Spain back yet? Act out the bloody (bad choice of words, wasn't it) scene so you can do the stupid photo shoot and I have time to mend my- USE THE FUCKING BATHROOM."

"Fusososo~"

"DIE IN A HOLE."

"Just like Lovi~"

"DO THE FrUKING SCENE."

**_Sorry. I can't remember the FrUKing lines. *headdesk* it's late and I've been working on these all day. Have mercy. And I have Writer's Block. Mercyyy..._**

"FrUK!" the authoress cursed from the bathroom.

"Frau, you keep interrupting!"

"I'm sorry!" the authoress replied, annoyed. "I'm trying to finish so I can ogle- I mean, supervise you!"

"Kesesese~ lies."

"STFU."

"Anyway, Amis, where were we?"

"Right. Spain, hand me the Verdammt boxers."

"Fine."

The bathroom door flung open to reveal the authoress. Her nose was wrapped in bandages.

"Questions will not be asked, you FrUKing perverts. I say you're done, before my bandages come off. Jeans back on. Shirts off. I will go fetch England."

She raced up the stairs.

"Ohh Mein Ennngland! I need Punk!Iggy for a half an hour, here's why..."

"She needs to admit she likes us," Prussia snorted. "I've seen her Internet history. France-worthy."

"Onhonhonhon~"

"Kay, I got Punk!Iggy in the skinny jeans!" Igi called, dragging England down the stairs. "You boys set?"

"Ready," Prussia called.

"Onhonhon~"

"Fusoso~"

"Kesese~"

She dragged England in. "Get on the couch and BE FrUKING SEXY, DAMMIT."

They positioned on the couch.

"Spain! Get off my hand!"

"Prusse! You're blocking the view of moi!"

"Everyone STFU! France, you move. Spain, five cm to the right. No the other right. There. HOLD THE FrUK STILL."

The authoress snapped the picture, and there was a loud SNRRRK sound.

"Damnit. Go. You're done." Igi raced off into the bathroom, tilting her head forward.


	36. Russia 12

"Gott in Himmel. LONDON!"

**Ah! Electric fences... Those are nice But I prefer collars. **

**London, you are feeling left out, da? So here is a dare for you **

**You must tell England that you are revolting from him to live with France. **

**Then you have to tell France this, and stay in a room with him for a day. **

**Every time he says something flirty to you or touches you, this diving helmet **

**I am sending will tighten around your skull and electrify you. Let's see how **

**long it take for your brains to be smashed **

**If you say anything except for the above, or try to escape from the room, thhe **

**helmet will fill 1/3 with water. Which will make the electricity much more **

**potent, da? So no disobeying **

**And if you don't want to do this Londen, Igi can do it for you, sayings shes **

**abandoning Prussia, Spain, and she is only human, da? She said so herself. **

**Which will make her head that much easier to smash like a little grape **

**до свидания, comrades J**

"Well in that case, five minutes tops, Russia." Igi muttered.

"What? Go live with that frog? My worry isn't him, it's PARIS. She's awful!"

"Shut up, London, before anybody gets any ideas. And I'm sure as hell not doing it, so take the bloody diving helmet and go to your big brother."

"I'M RIGHT HERE! I'm not what's-his-face, from North America!"

"Oh, hi, England. I think you've figured out by now what's going on."

He grabbed the iPad. "Russia? God in heaven..."

"Yep. So...London, do you have something to say?"

"Yes. Can I bring some paper and a pencil?"

"Smart. You got that loophole radar from me," the authoress said smugly. "I think you can. And something you want to say to our England?"

"Uhm, yes." London coughed into her fist. "England...I'm revolting to go live in that small room with France, ok? Ok." she stalked off into the room.

"All right," the authoress muttered, typing. "Emergency electric fences, in case France gets his rape face on...go. Emergency releases...go. Cameras online."

London wrote something on a pad of paper and handed it to France. France nodded and sat down on the couch inside.

"Collars? Oh, yeah...I just have a TON of electric fences lying around, because I have a dog (Zorro) and a cat (Holly) and it's just easier that way. We will be sending updates, Russia, because this is too boring to write out every excruciating detail! And I'm lazy, too! So bai!"


	37. Soarra

"Heyy...another Prussian!"

**Ok, hi I'm Soarra and I'm also a BTT and England fan. I also think that IRON **

**MAN IS THE BEST HERO EVER AND BATMAN SUCKS BALLS! Kolkolkol... **

**Ahem, anyway... Prussia: I am an awesome Prussian but I'm also Russian. **

**Sometimes my Russian side takes over and its so not awesome when it does. Do **

**you think I'm a traitor or do you pity me? **

**Spain:I dare you to lock yourself in a dark empty room with Romano and touch **

**his curl. **

**France: I dare you to invite all your worst enemies into your beautiful house **

**and let them trash it and your garden. :3 **

**I LOVE YOU GUYS!**

"Ok, Soarra, we are going to get ALONG. Kese!" Igi said cheerily.

"Well, I don't think of you as a traitor, Soarra! That said, I don't pity you, either! Trust me, this awesome Prussian-" he pointed at Igi- "Has some pretty bad sides herself! She's part British, so she can't cook. She's part Croatian, and she acts like the next Tesla sometimes..."

"Oh good, you remembered! TeslaEdison! Although Tesla was a whack job who talked to laser pigeons, he was undeniably a genius. Because everyone was too greedy, and his inventions wouldn't bring in money, nobody would fun him, which is why our cars run on dead dinosaurs instead of dirt or electricity or something Eco like that. And Edison cheated Tesla out of a buttload of money! And Edison would publicly electrocute dogs and cats to smear Tesla's systems of electricity! And when Tesla (the REAL discoverer of X-Rays) said that they were too dangerous for experimentation, Edison didn't listen and experimented on himself! There's not enough words you can append to 'douche' to describe Thomas Edison!" the authoress took a breath. "Oh, if you want to know the full story, look up The Oatmeal's Why Tesla is the awesomest geek ever."

"See what I mean? She gets offended when people say things that aren't true about Tesla, because he was Croatian, like her. And don't even get her started on some of her other sides."

"Kese, I be a VIKING."

"Scandinavian mode activate..." France muttered sarcastically.

"Therefore, Soarra, you are who you are!"

"Spain?"

"oh...Si! Lovi!"

He raced off into a dark room in the authoress' house.

"What do you want, Tomato bastard-CHIGII!"

"Fusoso~"

there was a smacking sound, and Spain had a black eye for a week.

"Quoi? Noon!"

"Too late, Francey-pants, I have your keys," the authoress 'Kesese'd. "Hey England! London! I've got a special job for you?"

"Doctor Who marathon on BBCA...this had better be good."

"Oh, it's good. You have my permission to go to France's house. Go wild. Have a wild party. I don't care. Just mess shit up, Kay?"

The Britons beamed. "You're awesome!" Londo exclaimed. Igi tossed her the keys.

"Now go forth, my minions." the door was shutting just as Igi finished the sentence.

"There. Now we wait...and pin France down before he has a coronary."

"Oh, right."


	38. BTTfangirl14 3

"It's our favorite fan!"

**hello it's me again! i love you guys for answering my questions and stuff!  
SPAIN I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER! I LOVE THE TOMATOES! THEIR AWESOME! hmm what to  
ask oh yeah! watch this video I found on youtube called bad friends trio  
abracadabra XD I COULDN'T STOP LOOKING AT FRANCE'S HIPS FOR SOME REASON! I WAS  
HYPNOTIZED! which is all i can remember from that video really.**

1. Igi can you please send me some of the photos from the photo shoot? NOT THE  
FRUK ONES THE BTT PHOTOS!  
2. what happened to holy roman empire? I'm sorry if it's a sensitive subject  
it's ok if you don't. but i've heard that HRE got amnesia and was later  
renamed germany. is this true or not?  
DANG IT FRANCE I'VE TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT AND YOU GET IDEAS! and thank  
you igi for shocking him in the balls for me. and can i come over to hug spain  
and prussia but slap france?  
From,  
BTTfangirl14 

"Hola chica! Te amo demasiado!"

"LOL I was like: *_* And sure, I can send you the photos." *Via magic Authoress magic, photos were delivered. I would draw them up and post them somewhere, but I have NO artistic ability whatsoever, so use your imagination.*

"France...is still in a room with London who will die if he tries to flirt with her. Literally. Russia, if you didn't read it already, gave her a killer helmet...so yeah, I think that's punishment enough. But they're almost done in there, so hopefully they can make it out in time for you to bitch-slap him, kay? So we'll do that last."

"Um...HRE?" Prussia said quietly, scratching his head. "We...don't talk about that much. I'm not sure, actually. He disappeared for a while, then West appeared, so I don't know exactly."

"GROUP HUG!" Igi yelled, glomping France as he exited the room. "London, you can take the helmet off now! And France, one of the fans wants to slap you!"

"Quoi?"

"They're all yours!"


	39. Ally 10

"I've got a bad feeling about this..."

**Hey Prussia, Spain, and France. This is for your eyes only. No Igi- Allowed to  
Read-ie. The first thing to do: Tie up Igi. Second, go to the hospital and  
grab an IV and a couple bags of blood. You might need them. I would like you  
to call up Austria, Romano and England. Invite them over and grab some chairs.  
Then proceed to tying each of them up. Read aloud Igi's web history from when  
she first heard of you guys till now. Everytime it mentions Yaoi,  
FranceXEngland (FrUk), SpainXRomano (Spamano) or AustriaXPrussia (I don't know  
the acronym for this). Then the corresponding character must make a sexual  
act/comment towards the other whom is tied up. Force each other guys. No  
backing out. If it has BTTXOC/Reader then proceed with your sexual act towards  
Igi.  
Give Igi blood when needed, seeing as... We don't want her to die anytime  
soon.**

The part below is for Igi. Don't let her read the above.

Igi, please enjoy yourself for the next dare. Here's your videos:

1. "(APH) Bad Touch Trio - Bringin' Sexy Back" I recommend pausing it a couple  
times. Some of the comics in this one are really funny.

2. "Sexy Spain, Naughty France and Bitchy Prussia." If your safety mode is  
being stupid like mine then just type in their names in that order and find it  
on the list.

Igi sighed and handed the iPad to Prussia without reading the firs paragraph. The BTT grinned evilly, her getting more scared as they read on and got happier.

"I did catch the words 'AustriaXPrussia'," the authoress admitted when questioned. "A.K.A PrusAus, but I didn't see anything else, OK?"

"Gut," Prussia said, rubbing his hands together. "We'll be back...in the meantime, we've got England, Romano, and Austria in heere!"

"What?"

The BTT locked the four in a room before going to get the necessary supplies.

"Wait...what blood type are you, Igi?"

"B negative."

"Danke."

"Ok, now I'm scared."

"I don't even know why the tomato bastard is doing this..." Romano fumed.

"Ok, whatever happens, England, Romano, Austria, I am SO SORRY that I opened this ask bo so people can do things like this to you. It was just supposed to be torturing them."

"Yes," England said. "How did London survive, by the way?"

"Oh, she's fine. Little shaken up, but fine."

England nodded.

Prussia walked back in with Igi's iPad, Spain carrying some IV bags and France had his rape face on.

"All right! Our almighty authoress' internet history!"

"Can I guess where this is going? Because I HATE FrUK."

"Close, madchen."

Sweet mother of god..." Igi said, inching away.

"ALL RIGHT! Your internet history!" he swiped his fingers across the screen. "A lot of and , madchen. Let's get started? The awesome rules are: If the pairings known as FrUK, Spamano, and PrusAus are found in your internet history there has to be a corresponding sexual action...and for you, frau, if there's BTTxreader..."

"SAVE ME I'M GOING TO BE MOLESTED."

"That much?"

"Nooooo...AND OH GOD I'M SO SORRY ROMANO, ENGLAND, AND AUSTRIA...even though I hate you, AUSTRIA!"

"Too late for that, Iron Man bitch," Romano complained.

"Chusss. I am the Iron Man bitch."

"ANYWAY. Her internet history." Prussia cleared his throat. "The awesome me x un-awesome Austira on FanFiction..." he scrolled up and down. "Three total."

"I clicked on them by accident, OK?!"

"Doesn't matter, they be in your internet history."

"Mein Gott, I'm so FrUKing sorry Austria."

*Exactly what Prussia did is left to your imagination because I'm French and I have no inspiration*

Austria was shivering as Prussia finished.

"Right...now...0 instances of FrUK!"

"KESESE! OUTSMARTED! GEN-U-INE FrUK HATER HERE! KESESE!"

England beamed. "Thank you for coming through in your fangirls. And I never thought I'd say that to you."

"Kese."

"And...Spamano...with two."

"Fusososo~"

"And this is why you don't shove this dare on someone who isn't a pairing bitch..."

"CHIGIIII! I'M-A GONNA KILL YOU, IRON MAN BITCH!"

"Oops...gotta dash..."

"Nein, nein, nein...BTT x Reader now."

"EVEN MORE REASON TO RUN FOR MY FrUKING LIFE. And my virginity!"

"Kesese~ That bad?"

"Onhonhonhonhon~"

"Ooooooooh...TWELVE."

"Really, I thought it was more...?"

"Twelve is a lot."

"Onhonhonhon~"

"Kesesese~"

"Fusosososo~"

*time skip to keep it T rating*

"Mein gott, boys...I love you."

"Kese, danke."

"Um...I have a dare? Oooh. Youtube videos." she started watching. "OH god, by dose... *SNRRRK*"

She locked herself in the bathroom with the iPad. "Go away, you perverts! I know you're listening!"

"Kesese~"

"Onhonhon~"

"Fusoso~"


	40. Chibibeanie

"Why would I deny Mein own awesomeness?"

**Hello Hello May I take a moment to say, ILOVEYOUFORBEINGAWESOMEANDPR USSIACANNOTDENYTHIS! **

**Moving on, I have a dare for each one of you, even you Igi. For Prussia, I **

**dare you to pretend to be South Korea and claim Hungary's breasts as your own. **

**And you must take a video of everything that happens. So good luck. For Spain, **

**you have to eat all of Romano's tomatoes, save for one, and throw that last **

**tomato in his face shouting "I HAVE EATEN ALL OF THE TOMATOES IN tHE WHOLE **

**ENTIRE WORLD!" For France, steal America's hamburgers, eat one, and tell him **

**he can only have the rest back if he beats you in an arm wrestling match. To **

**add icing to the cake, tell him you blew up one of his McDonald's restaurants **

**too. But don't actually do that. For Igi and the BTT, created the sueiest **

**Mary-Sue in the history of Mary-Sues, then try to find a way to kill it(which **

**will be difficult considering the fact that Sues find a way to live through **

**absolutely everything). **

**Good Luck to you all!**

"I shall get to work on that Mary-Sue, then."

"Claim Hungary's breasts? Kesesesese~"

"Go forth so I may have Privacy."

With Prussia...

Prussia groaned as he lay in wait for Hungary.

"This is a suicide mission. Thanks a lot, Chibibeanie."

Annd...cue Hungary. Prussia launched himself out of the bush.

"Your Vital Reigons belong to the awesome Prussia!"

Hungary whirled around and whacked him with her frying pan of doom.

With Spain...

It didn't take Spain that long to eat through all of Romano's tomatoes, leaving just one. When Romano returned home...

"Roma~! Lovi~! I have eaten all the tomatoes in the whole world!" Spain cheered, whamming Romano with the tomato.

"What- WHAT THE FUCKING HELL, TOMATO BASTARD!?" Romano scooped the seed guts off of his shirt. "Luckily for your tomato addict ass, there's seeds in this one."

Spain laughed. "Oh, Roma~"

With France...

France groaned as he looked at one of America's oozing hamburgers. "C'est tellement dégoûtant..."

America ran up. "FRENCHIE DUDE! You stole the hamburgers from the hero!"

"Oui, and you can only have them back if you beat me in an arm wrestling match! Also, I blew up that horrible place you call a restaurant."

"Mc...Donald's..." America said quietly, with the reverence one would say "God" with. "Listen here, Frenchie, give the hero back his hamburgers or else."

"Arm wrestling, Amerique~"

America pwned France with his super strength, took his hamburgers, and left.

Back at the house...

"I HAVE SUCCEEDED IN CREATING THE MONSTER KNOWN AS A MARY-SUE. Muahahahah!"

"Mädchen? Where are you?"

"In here...I finished the Sue. Her name is Anasztázia, and i was too lazy for a last name here. NOW I BRING HER...TO LIIIIIFEEE!"

France lunged for the notebook. "Non! We have to think of a way to kill the Sue, Igi-"

there was a flash of light.

"Is this what happened when you created London?" Prussia yelled.

"Ja. It's complicated, history has to rearrange itself so she exists!"

"Wow."

The light faded, and the Sue existed. "Haii! I'm Anastasia! But you can call me Ana!" she said peppily.

"Ok, fuck. I hate my own character." Igi said quietly, headdesking.

"Isn't that the way to kill a Sue? Sues are universally loved, so if someone hates them, they're not a sue anymore!"

"Good point! I HATE YOU! ICH HASSE DICH!"

"Nice quick thinking, Prussia!" Everyone yelled, high-fiving Prussia as the Sue was vanquished.

"Please don't make me ever do that again...I broke my character-maker."


	41. Bururu 6

"THERE WAS VIDEO EVIDENCE OF THAT? GOD DAMN!"

***puts down video camera* Oh? You wanted to take it back? Désolé cher, it's a bit late for that. Ohonhonhonhon I am the fan of the great Loki! **

**My sister told me that she asked France to come into her bed tonight. I told her that was probably the stupidest thing she could ever do. (Granted, if that happened to me I wouldn't protest...) So France: WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO MA PETITE SŒUR?! **

**I had a real good dare I wanted to ask that involved Austria, I believe- oh mon dieu. I remembered. You'll like this one, mes amis. **

**Go to Austria's house. Tie him up. And duct tape headphones to his ears. Now connect them to Igi's iPad. AND PLAY SCREAM METAL AND ROCK MUSIC AT FULL BLAST. **

**Oooooh, and don't forget "My Song That Was Written For Me, By Me"! Just found that on the Internet. Tres super cool, Prusse! (You're into Ita-chan?!) **

**Only about 20 yaoi things whatsoever?! Mon dieu, you should see mine, it's more condemning. XD I don't get nosebleeds. EVER. I guess I'm too perverted to get one. (Seriously never had one) **

**France, Je suis tres désolé about your garden. A tragedy. How'd shopping with Ukraine go? I have strong Ukrainian heritage. Let me get it all out now. **

**(North) Italian, Ukrainian, English, Scottish, Irish, Chinese. I might be Austrian, my family doesn't know for sure though. Oh and I'm Hungarian. :) **

***takes out trying pan* Stange enough, it's my weapon of choice. (After sword, battle axe, dagger, and bow and arrows of course) **

**Ma amie took a which character are you quiz and she just barely lost the position of Hungary. Wanna know why? She got full points for Prussia. My other amie is Spain. Je suis France! **

**Oh oui. I'm allowed to get one cosplay. EVERYBODY: Should it be Sweden ('cause his cosplay's kind of cool), Prussia's WW2 uniform, or France's WW2 uniform? (Désolé Espagne but you're out of the equation. **

**Merde. Long review again. Désolé. **

**Have fun with the Mozart fanboy! ;) **

**-Bururu**

"Yeah...I'm not into pairings in general, unless of course I create an OC to be paired with a character. In that case, I go wild."

"Your sœur? Hm...maybe I could-" Igi pounced on France. "That may just come out a bit too perverted for a T rating, Francis."

"Onhonhon~ First names, cherie?"

"Shut it."

"ÖSTERREICH? HÖLLE JA!"

"I shall make the totally not Classical playlist! I'm good at that! The first song will be Mein Gott, of course! And second will be My Song That Was Written By Me, For Me!" the authoress picked up her iPad. "I think when my mom owned this thing, she put Nine Inch Nails on here! And Jane's Addiction!"

"Onhonhonhon~ I'd like to say it ended happily for me, but it didn't."

"She-and she confesses this to whoever asks (she would, but she's busy right now) she's...Indian, Irish, Scottish, British, Scandinavian, Croatian, Prussian, and yes, French." Prussia rattled off. "She's said it too many times to count! And your friend just officially became awesome!"

"Don't talk to me about personality quizzes. Check out the one on my profile...I got four polar opposite characters, all seven out of ten. And I got six out of ten Hungary. I have an identity crisis, apparently."

"She got seven out of ten for the awesome me! But also seven out of ten for the priss, too..."

"All right! I've got this! Superchick! He'll hate this! Let's go!"

At Austria's house...

Good old chloroform is always useful in restraining an Austrian.

"Kese! Time to play the songs!" Igi shoved the headphones onto Austria. "First, as Promised: Mein Gott!"

"Mein Gott!" Austria swore. "Ich HASSE dich!"

"Love ya too, Österreich!" Igi sang. "Now, insult to injury, I'm going to go steal- I mean, borrow your piano! My friends want me to start taking lessons again. I bet I can figure out some of your sheet music, but the volume's up so loud, you're not going to be able to hear. Kay, bye!"

"You...play piano?"

"I used to. Those dayshold my deep dark secret..." the authoress said, summoning a dark and ominous air.

"And your deep dark secret is...?"

"What? Tell you? That's why it's deep and dark, idiots!"


	42. Ally 11

"Kese, I laughed while writing it."

**I couldn't stop laughing! I still am! Oh crap! **

**Okay, I kind of lost it there... blood was dripping onto the keyboard... My older MORMON step-sister wanted to know why I was laughing so hard... (Note: I'm not mormon) I had to refuse to show her because I don't want to ruin her opinion of me... She's uber mormon... Crap I'm rambling. **

**Okay: **

**France:England gets to sort through your clothes. They get to decide what to keep, and what to throw out. **

**Prussia: You get to have a makeover, done by Hungary and Liechtenstein. This 'new look' has to be your profile picture for two weeks. **

**Hungary: I know you are probably mad at Prussia for getting all 'rapey' over Austria, while you weren't there to uhm 'supervise'. You get to help a blind-folded Liechtenstein do Prussia's make up, pick his clothes and change the colors on his flag. **

**Spain: dye everything that's pink in Poland's house black, get rid of all his stylish clothes and replace them with ugly miltary uniforms. Then stay in his house for two days. Good-luck. **

**Igi: I'm sorry, I couldn't find a good video seeing as... I kept pressing play for the "Bringin' Sexy Back" video. But I know of a fun game/visual novel on deviant-art. It might keep you occupied for a while. Go to the google search box, type in 'Hetalia games' and click the second one. It should be called "APH:Academy Hetalia-game-bycarichan on deviantART" **

**Ahh... That last dare was- crap not again!**

"Well, my family's like that too. When they walk in while I'm writing I panic and change tabs to something lame."

"QUOOOIII?"

"Ohhhhhh my Iggy-laaand!" Igi sang up the stairs. "I have a special request for you to torture Francey-pants!"

"Did somebody say torture France? Can I come with you, England?"

"Depends, London...what are we doing?"

"You get to go through his clothes...free reign."

"In that case, I'm coming whether you like it or not, England nii!" London yelled, grabbing England's hand and taking off.

"Mon dieu!" France tried to run after them, but Igi smirked and caught him. "How did you get so strong, cherie?"

"Practice. Or maybe you're just weak. Sit down, you're not going after them."

"Merde."

Hungary magically appeared. "Damn right I'm mad at Prussia! Heh heh...this'll be a punishment you'll never forget! Japan's picking up Lichtenstein."

"Good," Igi said, nodding. "You can take care of that yourselves, right?"

"Right."

"Good, because I have to give Spain black dye, military clothes, and watch a video. Go and have fun with it. Paint something black and gold for me, Kay?"

"Sure."

Hungary dragged a screaming Prussia out of the room.

"Aaahh...Spain. Here's black dye. And that uniform that France wore a while ago, magically multiplied. Now go! Go forth and conquer!"

The authoress sat back. "Well, since I don't have my laptop right now to do anything even remotely related to Adobe Flash, I'll just go to my happy place in reader insert land."

She picked up her iPad.

Later...

It took all of Igi's self control to keep from laughing.

"Oh good, you remembered to paint something black and gold for me!"

"Yes, but why black and gold?"

"Oh. Um, the Iron Girl suit that I'm building- I mean, planning- it's supposed to be black and gold."

"I see."

"Lichtenstein? You can take the blindfold off."

Lichtenstein pulled the blindfold off, and burst out laughing. "He looks like...I don't even know!"

Prussia's, ahem, I kid you fucking not, lipstick of all things, was in gold.

"Well, that's creative."

The eyeshadow made him look like he had two black eyes, and the eye pencil had been used to messily write "I am not awesome."

"Nice job, Hungary. That is picture worthy..." so saying, the authoress took a picture and uploaded it to her Facebook.

"Kese! That's gonna be spread across the interwebs faster than you can say 'Hasta la pasta!' Awesome!"

Prussia headdesked. "Can I go wash it off now?"

"You can try."

Spain returned later with another facial bruise and a stab wound.

"Wow...I didn't think Poland would have the chutzpah for that."

"Believe me, he does."


	43. BTTfangirl14 4

"Why do the reviewers hate me so..." France groaned.

**YAY I FEEL SO LOVED! ok for starters, Igi, how were the videos? I've seen the **

**second one and maybe the first one. It's ok prussia that you didn't tell me. **

**WAIT I ALSO SUPPORT SPAMANO AND I LIKE BTT X READER. **

**1. Spain, what did you say to me in spanish?! as a fangirl of you, yo nesecito **

**a know. I'm pretty sure i just failed with the spanish part. what i meant to **

**say was i need to know! **

**2. WUT i didn't slap france yet! oh well maybe i can when you put up a new **

**chapter! **

**3. yes france i want to slap you. and the only pairing that i support that has **

**you in it is France x Jeanne d'arc. i love that pairing. **

**4. this question is for england actually, WHY DID YOU STOP BEING A SEXY BEAST **

**PIRATE! and have you seen any pirate!england videos?**

"I love BTT x Reader. It's my drug- I do it late at night, without my parents' permission, and they probably wouldn't like it." Igi said, snickering.

"You have a really weird sense of humor, Señorita! But what I said means 'I love you too!' as our authoress knows."

"Yep. I took Spanish, but this year I'm going all out for Chinese because both Spanish AND French were too easy for me. And I'm already teaching myself German...with some help from the awesome Prussia, of course."

"Kesesese~ Ja."

"Of course you can slap France! It gets me brownie points with Mein England!"

So BTTFangirl14 was summoned, and she bitch-slapped France like a boss.

"Oh...Jeanne." France then went into his emo corner.

"Yeah...we're not even going to bother trying. Last time he cussed me out in French, I think he told me I was a whore? Idonteven."

"It's not worth it."

"England!" Igi yelled up the stairs.

"What?"

"WHY DID YOU STOP BEING A SEXY PIRATE?"

"To raise America!"

"Dammit, America!" Igi cursed to herself. "I'd rather have a British accent anyway!"


	44. California

"Kese...not quite Toni Stark, California."

**:Like, ohmigod! Toni Stark? I, like, always knew there were genderbent  
versions of, like, all the superheroes!**

Anyway, I totally dare all three of you, to, like, steal her armor.

Maybe I should have Hollywood, like, make a Wonder Woman movie. That would  
totally prove my theory.

- California (Yes, we States have our own personifications, and we're, like,  
totally awesome and stuff! 

"Yes, yes there should be a Wonder Woman movie. I would go see that," Igi said, looking up from her comic. "Heh...yes, you may call me Toni Stark. Ad as to my armor, BEFORE they get any ideas..."

Before she could finish the sentence, Prussia ran out of a room labeled "Do Not Enter, Secret Laboratory" holding a black and gold Iron Man mask.

"YOU NEVER TELL US ANYTHING."

"You have no idea what I don't tell you!" Igi flushed, grabbing her helmet back. "That is not even close to being my deepest OR darkest secret, Prussia! And I haven't even finished building it yet..."

"Aw. So no awesome Iron flights?"

"No. I do NOT give out sky tour until I mend the repulsors, ok? NOW GO. And my secret identity is busted, too. Everybody want's to get Tony Stark's little sister...hmph. Oh, yeah, I knew States were personified. London talks about them all the time...mostly complaining that America has fifty mini-mes. Heh."


	45. BTTfangirl14 5

"Hey, where's Igi-I mean, Toni?"

"Oh... in her secret lab."

"Well, get her out, ja? We have a request!"

"Hey Toni- I mean, IGI! We have a request!"

Igi poked her head out of the lab, wearing a welding mask and holding a welding torch. "Is this important? I've almost fixed the computers..."

"Ja, we have a request."

She tossed the torch into the lab, pulling off her mask and sitting down on the couch. "What?"

**d-did s-spain just say he loves me? O MY GOD HE DID! XD SPAIN; YOU HAVE JUST  
MADE ME THE HAPPIEST SPAIN FANGIRL EVER! excuse me while i die of happiness.**

ok questions  
1. IGGY! you didn't answer the second part of my question for you! have you  
seen any pirate!england videos on youtube? i have! they're so sexy.

2. YES! I B-SLAPED FRANCE LIKE A BOSS! and france I'm really sorry about  
bringing jeanne up. i know it's a sensitive subject and i'm sorry. To make it  
up to you, i'll give you a hug.

3. Hungary and Prussia, can the both of you hit austria with Hungary's frying  
pan? and can i do so to? it's been a dream of mine to do so. and also to have  
austria love rock music because it's as awesome as Prussia!

4. spain since you love me too can i have a kiss on the cheek?  
BYE  
FROM YOUR LOYLAL FAN,  
BTTfangirl14 

"Heh, I would do that If Prussia told me that- YOU DIDN'T HEAR THAT. Or if my brother ever gave me a call for once...I mean, I know he's famous and everything, but seriously? Give the little sister a ring once in a while! Hmph!"

"No wonder she acts like Roma all the time~"

"I don't think he has," Igi said, pulling off her gloves. "He's visiting Penzance. She got in trouble again...London says she has a pirate fetish or something."

"Merci for the hug," France said cheerily.

"AUSTRIA?!" Hungary gasped. Igi snick out stealthily. "Why on earth would I-"

"Because the fans say so, fraulein! Kesesesese~"

Hungary whacked Prussia with her frying pan. There was a loud sound from the lab, two curse words, and a loud whirring.

"KESESESE~! It's alive! Now I can threaten you into doing the dares!"

"...Hungary?"

"Yes?"

"She's got an Iron Girl suit."

"I see your point."

"WHERE DID I PUT THE BLOODY STINGER MISSILES, DAMMIT!"

That sentence caused Hungary to grab her frying pan, Prussia, and BTTfangirl14 and raced out the door to Austria's house where they all got to smack him. But Hungary apologized afterwards, swearing that she was blackmailed.

"Fuso~ Sure you can have a kiss, amiga!"

When they returned from Austria's house, Spain granted BTTfangirl14's request.


	46. Chibibeanie 2

"Is Toni working on that suit again?"

"Ja. She said that the radar broke during an argument with Hawkette."

"Quoi?"

"Quien?"

"Fem!Hawkeye!" Igi said, walking in. She was wearing the mask. Pulling it off, she sat down. "What's up?"

**Muahaha! I have returned! And I have another punishment- I mean dare for the  
BTT. You must all let England practice his black magic on you and then  
crossdress as maids and work for Mr. Austria. Igi's challenge is to keep Italy  
in the entire chapter, and eat only England's scones while Italy eats his  
pasta. **

"Sure thing. ITALY!"

"Ve~ Miss Igi!"

"Oh, for god's sake, Ita. Everyone's pretty much given up on that, since California figured out that I'm Toni Stark."

"Ve~ You don't mind if I still call you Igi, though, ve~?"

"Nah, I don't. And England's scones are delicious! I could eat them forever!"

England handed Toni a scone. "Mmmm...these things are amazing."

"THANK you!"

"Ve~ I'm allowed to eat pasta?"

"Yep, go ahead Ita!" Toni said happily.

"Wha- AUSTRIA?"

"Kese!" Toni laughed. "Cmon, Ita, let';s go watch~"

England did his marshmallow chant to suffice, so that Toni could get her laughs in at Austria's house.

"Hey Austria...I have a present for you."

"...what?"

"Yep, I have these three, who are forced to work for you," Toni paused to take a bite of the scone- "And I am here to watch them be humiliated. The Maid dresses are not optional."

"Um, Fine."

"Good!" Toni pulled Italy and the now-crossdressing BTT into Austria's house. "Oh man, Sága will LOVE to hear about this, considering that Thor..." she trailed off, coughing into her hand. "Yep, Thor and Loki...heh heh."

Everyone stared at her strangely. "WHAT?! I remembered that that story was NEVER to be spoken of by an Avenger, never again! And I don't want to piss off Thor! Now shush!"

Austria shrugged and began giving orders to the BTT.

"Heh, heh...that did make some beautiful Thor blackmail, though."


	47. Greece?

"Is she always mending her suit?"

"NOT ALWAYS!" Toni yelled, offended. "UPGRADES ARE LOVE!"

Prussia snickered. "Well, can the upgrades wait?"

"NEIN. Do you want the world to die because my suit wasn't powerful enough and you had something 'more important'?"

"It's a request."

"In that case..." Toni walked out of the room.

**Greece:Hello,three. It is I,Greece.(Not the actual Greece. Or am I?) I have  
two questions for the three, an extra question for Prussia, and a dare for  
France. Question for all-Twilight or Harry Potter or Neither? Question for  
all-What would your name be if you were a cat? Would you want it to change or  
stay the same? Question for Prussia-What is another adjective for yourself  
besides awesome? 4Dare for France-Kiss a frog and see what happens. **

"Oui, well Twilight c'est horrible, but Harry Potter is from Angleterre. So I would say neither."

"You really hate England enough to diss Harry Potter solely because it's British?"

"Oui."

"And there is where FrUk dies."

France grinned. "Of course, it doesn't mean I'm willing to-"

Toni kicked France.

"My name if I was a cat? I'd be Tomate~" Spain said, oblivious to the France vs Toni fight.

"FRANCE. TONI. Stop before Tonia gets her Ironsuit and we all die." England called down the stairs. "I'm all for bashing the Frog, but if Tonia gets pissed off enough, this house will explode."

"Then I'll have to explain it to Hawkette and Sága and Liberty and Hulkette what happened, and THAT will be no party," Toni muttered. "Also, I'll have to beg my big brother for money to rebuild, and he'll be pissed. So no, if I have to kill France I'm taking it outside."

"Bien," Spain said. "So what would your cat name be, Tonia~?"

"Hm? If I was a cat? I don't know, maybe Cleo? Being a black and ellow cat would make me look Egyptian, hah!"

"Gilcat, of course!"

"Amour!"

"Seriously? Your cat name would be _love_?"

"Oui."

"Whatever," Tonia said, blowing the hair out of her eyes.

"Another adjective besides awesome? Umm...amazing?"

"GOOD JOB, Prussia!"

"Kese, danke."

"Quoiii?"

"France~" Tonia sang evilly. "Kiss the frog, France~"

"WAIT! Toni, not yet!" England called, rushing down the stairs with London and a camera. "Ok, now kiss!"

France lifted the frog. "Mon dieu..." he quickly touched his mout to the frog and pulled away, just not fast enough to escape London's camera. "Kfwaha~! I got it, England nii-chan! Now let's go!"

They ran off before France could chase them down.

"All right. Thank you. Now I may go and upgrade my suit. Kese, Prussia gave me agood idea the other day..."

"What do you listen to while you're working? I can hear you humming, but I can't hear the music, madchen."

"NONE OF YOUR FrUKING BUSINESS." Toni shouted, blushing. "It's a secret, ok?"

She hightailed it back into the lab.


	48. Ally 12

"Oh, holy hell."

**CAIO IT IS I! THE DREADED ALLY! HERE WITH A DARE FOR IG- I mean... TONI!  
Boys, don't fail me now. DO NOT let her back out of this one.  
Toni: Trash it. Trash your Iron-Girl Suit! (or woman or man or even boy  
whatever you call it!) Start from scratch.  
Now for the boys:  
France: Shave your head. ALL of it. Including the whiskers on your chin.  
(England has to be the one to do it. Hey Arthur? Up for some revenge for when  
you were younger?)  
Spain: Show Romano the 'Gay and European' video I showed Igi earlier. Ask him  
his response.  
Prussia: :D I can't think of anything right now so you have to supervise. That  
is: you have to have Hungary with you throughout the above dares. **

"Well, it's the Iron Girl suit," Toni said, looking down. "...should I quote my nii-chan on this subject? 'Well, you can forget it. I am Iron Man. The suit and I are one. To turn over the Iron Man suit would be to turn over myself, which is tantamount to indentured servitude or prostitution, depending on what state you're in. You can't have it.' Just not possible."

"C'mon, Toni! It's a dare, you have to!"

"NEIN!" Toni barked. "This is my line in the sand, Preussen. I will NOT destroy my Iron Girl suit. Not now, not ever. Except in a battle, of course. Besides, it got trashed when I had to travel to Asgard with Sága to have an epic face sown with Saeter...that's Fem!Loki, for those of you who don't know or couldn't figure it out. It needs a fix already, I can't trash it more."

"...why did you build the suit anyway, madchen?"

"Oh..." Toni looked down again. "It's a long and touchy story for us. By 'us' I mean my nii-chan and I."

"I see," France said quietly.

"Hey, France! Look what you got!"

"MON DIEU!"

England pounced on France and dragged him off, holding a razor and grinning like he was 2p!ed.

"Show Roma the video? Si!"

A few minutes later...

"WTF, Tomato Bastard?!"

"Fusososo~"

With Prussia and Hungary...

"Kese! This is hilarious!" Prussia announced as he watched a struggling France and England.

"For once I agree with you, Prussia."


	49. BTTfangirl14 6

"Yep...not many people do!"

**Whoa i didn't know there were fem!avengers! that's awesome! does america know  
about that?  
Austria, you know that girl who blackmailed hungary into hitting you with a  
frying pan? that was me! HUNGARY! I'M SORRY! IM A HUGE FAN OF YOU AND I ONLY  
DID IT BECAUSE I HATE AUSTRIA! PLEASE DON'T HIT ME WITH YOUR FRYING PAN FROM  
HELL! that's what prussia calls it i think. anyway  
1. thank you for the photos! oh god they're so hot. And do you love the  
awesomeness?  
i really appreciated that kiss. O god I-I'm still recovering from fangirling  
out.  
i realized I can raise anyone from the dead! and they act like themselves  
before they died. so if you want i can raise her from the dead. And also  
thanks for not raping me after the hug i gave you.  
4. Belarus and England: can i have a hug? and yes i am a fan of belarus. she's  
my second favorite character.**

"Yeah, not many people know about us!" Toni said cheerily. "I was presumed dead for most of my life, Hawkeye and Hawkette were separated, Black Widow and Richard (we don't use his hero name a lot) were each told that the other was dead. Liberty is parallel-universe Captain America, and Hulkette is parallel-universe Hulk. They moved here together! I'm not sure if America knows...but probably not, because he'd have showed up here by now."

"Hm? Oh...that was you? It doesn't matter, I've forgiven Hungary anyway."

"Wha- WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY FrUKING MANSION? OUT! Dammit, JARVIS!"

"Apologies, Miss Stark...I was told you were in good relations with Mr. Austria."

"Did my nii-chan tell you that? He said he'd get revenge for replacing his motor oil with America's hamburger oil..."

"Yes, he did."

"I need to talk to him. It's fine, JARVIS."

"...there's JARVIS in this house?" Prussia asked.

"Ja."

"Ooooh crap."

"Don't worry, he's seen my nii-chan do a whole lot worse."

"You're a fan of me?" Hungary asked, blushing. "Thank you."

"You're welcome for not raping you," Toni said, cutting France off before he could get...you know.

"Belarus? Fine...I'll get her in here. Hey, JARVIS, full alert, kay? Belarus is coming over."

"Of course, Miss."

"I'm so glad I can use him again," Toni said, dialing. "It would have been impossible to without blowing my cover."

No questions were asked as Toni called Belarus over with England to hug BTTfangirl14.


	50. Bururu 7

"Oh good...she doesn't hate you France!"

"Quoi?"

**Salut!  
France... I don't hate you! /comes from dark corner and hugs France, dissapears back into darkness/ I just came back from French lessons actually. I'm also learning Chinese!  
But j'aime France so much so I took up French as well.  
France... je suis désolé about Jeanne. If it's any consolation, she was a saint and therefore she couldn't of had any romantic relationships whatsoever.  
J'aime FrUk! Totally my OTP.  
France... what were you going to do to my little sister... do you even know how young she is?! DO YOU?! I WILL hurt you if you come near her! /holds up skillet/ Prusse! You too! You're a mal influence! AndifyouhurtherIsweartoGodyo uwillpayforcomingnearherandi fyoudoyoumustpayforwhatyoudi dwithyourlifeandforthatPruss iamustDIE!  
Sorry, quoting Hungary for a sec there. Hungarian heritage kicking in.  
So France, I want you to get locked in a closet with Igi. (Désolé I just can't stop calling her that) Usually you get punished for every pervy thing you do. Not this time.  
For every pervy thing France does, I will pay you and Igi twenty euros. Igi that's almost $25, so I would do this; you'll get bloody rich. (Of course, I'll do it with England's, Prussia's, Spain's, America's, Russia's, West's, Hungary's, Austria's and Tony Stark's money kesesesesesesesese!) What? I'll need a loooot of money.  
The time span of this ordeal will be five hours.  
Have fun you two! ;3  
THE AWESOME LOKI IS AWESOME!  
-Bururu **

"You're going to use nii-chan's money? How did you convince him? He's usually so overprotective...AND WHY COULDN'T YOU DO PRUSSIA INSTEAD!?"

"Onhonhonhon~"

"Oh, and Loki seems cool from far away...NEIN. He's a nut job, ja?"

France gave up on waiting. "I need money cherie, I'm going drinking with those two tonight!"

"YOU'RE JUST AS BAD AS NII-CHAN!" Toni yelled as France dragged her into the closet.


	51. Ally 13

"Ooh, unlucky number thirteen! Kese!"  
**Since it's just Prussia and Spain for a while... Hey Prussia, et Spain! Have I told you that I took a permeant marker and drew your flags on my wrists? Hah... Then I accidentally used some hand-sanitizer and they scrubbed off... Permeant my butt. Anyways, I see that some of your dare givers are coming over to your- I mean Igi's house. I'm coming over, I've decided. You can't stop me. If you try I'm bringing America and his fireworks. We're gonna blow the place sky-high. Or even better! I can convince America to convince Tony to deactivate Jarvis. Relax, all I want to do is come over, say hi, start a party... We could lock Igi and France in by blocking the door with steel/furniture and such. I'll even bring the sparkling cider. (Cause I'm underage like that) Or I can turn to Italy for help. Of course Italy would convince Germany to come and bust down the door. Ah... I know so many ways ruin the house. Hah hah, I found you I can see you in the window! In fact, I'm outside right now with a stupid gun pointed to my head. Knock knock knock, let me in boys! :D**

"I'm out of the closet now!" Toni called, slamming the door open America-style. "And I would prefer it if the superhero fanboy didn't come round, okay? He'd probably stalk me..." She shuddered. "Which Tony are you talking about? Nii-chan or America's alien, Tonny? Because Nii-chan won't deactivate JARVIS, but JARVIS doesn't care what we get up to. He's seen worse from nii-chan, trust me. Probably. As long as France doesn't get...yeah. And I'm underage too, we can share sparkling cider."  
"But there's always some alcohol around-" she added. The BTT sighed in relief. "Oui! There you are!" France let Ally in.  
"Yeah! You can't spell party without T, T stands for ME!" Toni yelled. "Nihon gave me a karaoke machine, and it has my favorite song on it! My theme song, One Girl Revolution by Superchick! Kese...I played that song to Austria while we were torturing him. Good times..."  
"Kesese~ Yeah!"  
They partied til dawn. :)


	52. BTTfangirl14 7

"Nii-chan says our parties can't get too wild, guys!"

**HEY! Ally gets to come over so why can't I? if you see a silver haired girl  
with green eyes, off shoulder t-shirt, glasses, skinny jeans, and boots, at  
your door, that's me. ON WITH THE QUESTIONS!**

; have you seen the video Hetalia Spain couples muchacha kiss kiss bang? if  
you haven't, then watch it. After i saw the video, i seriously wanted to hurt  
you. HOW COULD YOU CHEAT ON ME WITH TEN GUYS AND BELGUM! OK, about the whole  
cheating on me thing, we're mentally dating in my mind. Yeah that's sounds  
really creepy to you doesn't it? and yes i do have a strange sense of humor.

2. FRANCE! DID YOU READ WHAT I SAID LAST TIME I REVIEWED? I AM A NECROMANCER  
NOW! so I can bring people back to life. whoever you want; and they'll still  
be the same way before they died.

3. Prussia; can i become an honorary Prussian?

that is all!  
BTTfangirl14

"Si..." Spain said.

Spain: O_O

"I don't think I have...hm," Tonia said, smirking. "Yeah, I totally understand. I may or may not have claimed Prussia already."

Prussia: ...o_o

"Kese~" Tonia snickered.

"Oui..."

"I don't think we want France to understand what you're insinuating. That might turn out very depressing, ja?" Tonia said quietly. "Out of curiosity, how does that process work? I'd ask Sága or Saeter, but Sága doesn't do necromancy and Saeter is currently...well. Ahem."

"Kesese~! Anyone who wants to be honorarily awesome is welcome, liebe!"

"Ja!" Tonia cheered, high-fiving Prussia. "And Nii-chan really doesn't care what I do with the house, as long as it doesn't involve explosions. There's too many of those at Stark Tower anyway, kese. By the way, in honor of over 2,000 views you all get virtual cake. Austria's virtual cake. I may hate him, but damn, he can make good cake. Kese! So danke for sticking with us!"


	53. Bururu 8

"Kese, Prussian secret."

**Bonjour!  
I'm surprised you made it out of the closet with clothes on Igi ohonhonhon!  
Yes, well, at my French class, this one student did the "ohonhonhon" laugh and  
my teacher and the adults and the rest of the class started doing it as well.  
They said they taught us how to laugh in French.  
Also! Prusse! My sister said that the WINX CLUB was way cooler, better, and  
awesomer than Russia! And I'm like, "Oui, but of course!" and then she said,  
"Ooops, wait I meant that other guy... ummm... that dude who's Germany's  
brother!" And I said, "...Prussia?" and she burst out with "Yeah, him! The  
Winx club is cooler, better, and more awesome than Prussia!" I do admit, I  
reached towards our knives for a second...  
Um, oh... dares, right! Ummm... Romano, I dare you not to say one bit of  
insults or profanity for 24 hours. France, you can go pervy on EVERYONE and  
they are now all dared not to object and now they are also dared to go along  
with it!  
Prusse, go... go steal all of Hungary's yaoi. And burn it. Hungary, you are  
dared to just WATCH and 1. not beat the living daylights out of Prusse or kill  
him and 2. not get, watch, or read any more yaoi for a month.  
Allez! Schnell!  
-Bururu **

"How I survived is a most awesome and deeply hidden Prussian secret, only revealed to me because I am Prussia's colony. Kese!"

"WHAT?! More awesome than the awesome me?! How is that possible?!" *emo corner*

"Um, ja. He hates it when people confuse him with Russia..."

"WHAT THE FUCK? Fine, French speaking bitch!"

"Roma~...starting now."

"Kese~ He will NOT survive," Tonia snickered.

"You just wait and see, Iron Girl b-"

"No cursing, Lovi~!"

"Onhonhonhon~ Toni, I hear your frere can hook me up with the ladies~"

"Hm? Oh, he's not big on that stuff anymore, really. But he could if you asked."

"I'm going to have fun~" France said, making his rape face and squeezing Toni's chest. She flushed and muttered, "Keep it in your pants, France, or I'll hit you in the mouth with a stinger missile."

France inched away.

"Kesesese~ I'll do it! Where can I have a bonfire? Toni?"

"Ah...roof. There's a fire pit the size of the olympic torch bowl. It's brilliant."

"Danke!"

Hungary tried to chase him with her frying pan, but Toni spoke up before she could. "JARVIS...Hungary is not allowed out of this room until I say, ja?"

"Of course, miss."

The electric fences went up, and Hungary cursed.

"What the fans want, the fans get, Elizaveta. Unless it involves killing, seriously maiming, or destroying my suit."

"Speaking of which..." France said, leaning over. "Do you have one? Le réacteur arc?"

Tonia flushed. "J-Ja. I do. I just put bandages over it so people don't see it and figure out I'm Antonia Stark..."

"Can I see it?"

Even Hungary was interested now. Tonia sighed.

"This would be less awkward if we were talking to nii-chan..." she lifted up her shirt to reveal that there was a swath of bandages over her chest. She pulled at them a bit to reveal a blue, glowing circle.

"There it is...my heart."

"C'est beau," France said quietly. Tonia looked down.

"Well, it's a life." she pulled the bandages back over the Arc and pulled her shirt back down. "And I don't want to lose my nii-chan again."

"¿Otra vez?"

"Yeah, again," Tonia said, playing with the keychain on her belt loop. "I...I don't want to talk about it, ok?"

"Oui, oui."

Prussia returned. "All right! The awesome me has gotten everything ready!"

"Vamos!" Toni yelled, dragging Hungary up to the rooftop to burn her Yaoi. "And I'll make sure she stays away from it!"


	54. BTTfangirl14 8

"TONIAAA! You don't play X-Box with us anymore!"

"Save the world...or play X-Box? Hm?"

"Well, we have a request, then after that the awesome me will face you down in Streetfighter Four."

"JA!" Tonia cheered, running out of her lab and diving onto the couch.

**ok what i said before to spain..FORGET IT EVER HAPPENED! and how it works is  
like England's black magic. i still have to draw a circle and stuff but at  
least I don't get Russia every time. And I'm banned for life as a necromancer  
so I can no longer do that. AND MEIN GOTT! THIS CAKE IS AMAZING! I MAY HATE  
YOU AUSTRIA, BUT I LOVE YOUR CAKE!**

Spain; ok I now your thinking I'm some crazy stalker fan girl. I promise you  
I'm not! I'm just a fangirl who think's your awesome. I promise I'm nothing  
like Belarus. Forgive me? *puppy dog eyes* here are some tomatoes as an I'm  
sorry for letting you think I'm your stalker.  
Prussia; thank you for letting me be an honorary prussian! it feels awesome  
Kesesese 

"No worries senorita!" Spain said cheerily.

"Kse!" Toni chuckled. "He's only not worried because I do that too! There was this one time during Doctor Who where I almost broke the TV because the MASTER, (Someday...I will find him and I will kill him) had aged MY-"

France cut her off. "Ce fut le moment creepiest singulier de ma vie. That was the singular creepiest moment of my life. Creepier than what Angleterre could cook up with his 'Magic', Onhonhonhon~!"

"I know. Austria's cake is amazing, ja? You don't even want to know how I got ahold of that. It wasn't that bad, but I begged him for it when those three had to go over to his house and crossdress." she snorted. "It involved nii-chan, a piano, and Carnegie hall, kse."

"Mein gott..." Prussia facepalmed. "Don't tell me you have enough influence to get him to-"

"Nah."

"Gern geschehen for making you honorarily awesome, liebe! Kese! Now TONIA, you can play Streetfighter with me? Bitte?"

"Gott, fine. Pass me the remote."


	55. BTTfangirl14 9

"DUDE! How come you didn't tell me you knew TONY STARK?" America yelled, glomping Tonia.

"OOF! Fuck! BECAUSE I KNEW YOU'D DO THIS!"

**Oh thank god! I'm glad that's been cleared up! hmm i'm not the only one...  
yay! XD**

these are for all of you

1. have you guys heard your marukaite chikyuu? I love it!

2. Prussia & Spain: your marukaite chikyuu's are my favorite!

and Tonia, what pairings do you guys support? I'm surprised no one asked these  
questions yet!  
MY FIRST DARE!  
i dare you to run around England's house screaming these words: I LOVE DOCTOR  
WHO AND BRITISH FOOD! that'll be funny! and so let it be done!  
Austria do like any other music other than classical? that stuff is boring!

TELL AUSTRIA I LOVE THE CAKE AND TELL HUNGARY THAT I LOVE PRUHUN  
AND TELL BELARUS I LOVE AMERIBEL! send me the reactions and France's dare! and  
can i tell them myself?  
P.S. america, did you know england stopped being a pirate when he raised you?  
i'm not trying to be mean! i just wanted to tell you if you didn't know. 

"I'm still annoyed that you didn't tell me there are Fem!Avengers!" America said, making puppy-dog eyes. "And yeah, I knew England stopped being a pirate for mee. Too sad, too. He must have bee nfunny as a pirate! Ahahaha!"

"COME ON. They sent me here, quote unquote, UNDERCOVER. Why-"

"Fine, fine!" France said. "You can release your sexual tension with Amerique later. Now can we get to the questions!"

"J'adore, me encanta, ich liebe Marukaite Chikyuu! Especially the ones belonging to Preussen and Iggy-land!"

"Rright."

"I will run around England's house yelling that any other day, you don't need to ask me twice!" Tonia said. "I will even wear my Eleventh Doctor cosplay and eat the scones!"

"...I miss your Prussian side already, liebe."

"Kse! And pairings? I don't support many. Usually when I'm writing pairings, I do some covert genderbending, because I'm just better at writing for girls. It's why all of my OCs are female. I just write like that, y'know? But pairings...hm, maybe... PrusHun or AusHun; depending on what I'm going for. And Spamano."

"Österreich...is currently in America's Carnegie hall, using that season pass nii-chan got him. But I can have Hungary text him your thanks," Prussia snorted.

Tonia was now dressed in a suit, suspenders, a bowtie, and a fez. "To England's house! I have scones!"

"Not yet. Answer the rest of the questions."

"Gracias for loving my Marukaite Chikyuu!" Spain said cheerily.

"...Ameribel?" America said. "Seriously?"

"PrusHun?" Prussia said, glaring at Tonia. "Seriously?"

"TO ENGLAND'S HOUSE NOW OR ELSE."

Tonia took off running.

At England's house...

"England! Iggy! Igs! Arthur!"

"(oh for god's sake...) What?"

England turned around, and his jaw dropped.

"ICH LIEBE Doctor Who and British food, mein Iggy-land!" Toni cheered, glomping England and swiping one of his scones. "When is Asylum of the Daleks being released in the states? Bitteeee?"

"August 25."

"I LOVE YOU. And the amazing show with the sexy British man known as Matt Smith."

"...thank you?"

"France! I think you were supposed to do this too!"

France made a face. "Ew, non."

"What the reviewers want, France..." Toni said, almost threateningly.

"Fine. I love Doctor Who and British Food."

"Kse!" Toni laughed. "Brilliant!" she hopped down off of England. "Can you get me a backstage pass? Pleasepleaseplease? I swear I won't scream. Maybe. Probably. Most likely. I love Doctor Who, have I mentioned that?"

"Right, I think you've had one too many scones, love."


	56. Ally 14

"Oh good god, I saw something like that once...it said something like, 'Russia and America struggled for dominance' and everyone looked at me like I was a crackpot. Kse!"

**Ello! I'm hear to let out my creative juices for the day! I just came from my  
Japanese class. (Cause I'm semi-bilingual like that.) I had a laughing fit  
while reading a history textbook today. Everyone in the library eyed me weird.**

"And so... France invaded the lower regions of Vietnam." AHaHAHAHa  
My dare:Have England read a history book to you all. You can not:  
Fall asleep  
Leave the room  
Cover your ears  
or laugh.  
Toni, this includes you.  
Ja-Nee! (It means goodbye, but it's informal... Cause your my buds) 

"Kse!" Toni giggled, reading the letter again. "I do that too. All the time. But I'm not having history class this year! How un-awesome is that? It's because Health is required instead of history, tch. I took health already. But I get to take Computer Programming, so all is well! England! I summon you and hand you my American History textbook from last year!"

Everyone gave Toni the evil eye. "What? American history is the required study that I HAD TO DO last year. I'd rather be studying you, that way I can come home and just be all like, 'Hey England, names and dates of interesting things' and I could finish my homework quickly and go on the computer!"

England opened the history book. "Ahem. France and England were seizing-"

"Kse!" Toni snorted. "Sorry, that was a...um...sneeze."


	57. Russia 13

"Prussia, I recommend heading for the hills ASAP and spending the rest of your days in my secret cave."

"Was? Why?"

"This...if you want, I can call up Hawkette, Liberty, and Sága to help...or do you think I can handle it with my suit and some missiles?"

**People mistake Prussia for me? I don't like him... But he is my little  
Kallingrad, da?**

So, Kallingrad (Prussia) I have a dare for you.  
Russian head torture! Yay  
It is one of my milder tortures, but as people say, start small and work your  
way up, da? I am a your door now with the device. :) *Knocks on door*  
So after I get some vodka from Tonia( that is your new nickname, da?) we can  
start.

So I will ask you questions, and every time you get one wrong, I will compress  
your head with torture device. If you lose, I will get to see how big your  
brain really is, da?  
So the questions are:

1. Who are you?  
2. Who am I?  
3. What are you?  
4. Gilbird is tasty, da?  
And.  
5. You like vodka, Da?

That's all

Let's have fun

Please answer your door or I will get angry  
You an write what I do, I don't know because I am going to the little field of  
sunflowers in my head. Mabye when I come back I'll get to see te brains!

до свидания,  
Russia 

For possibly the first time ever, Prussia 'Eep!'ed and tried to hide in the corner.

"Um...hi again, Russia. Yes, my name is Antonia. But everyone says Tonia, so I don't get confused with Spain. Or Toni. Yeah."

"I'm not becoming one with you again!" Prussia yelled from the corner. "And my name isn't Kaliningrad!"

Tonia sat quietly for a moment. "Hm. JARVIS, is Russia outside?"

"Yes miss."

"Let him in, and try to keep him from killing mein Preussen. I'll be right back."

Tonia stood up, looking like Belarus when somebody talks to Russia. She stalked off into the room labeled "Lab".

"Let's see how this thing works..."

Russia walked in. "Kolkolkol..."

France jumped. "Desole, Prusse!" he called as he ran.

Spain shivered. "TONIAAA!"

There was a mechanical whirring from the lab. The lab door slammed open, revealing Tonia. A sleek black and gold suit was whirring and clicking as it wrapped itself around her. The helmet clicked into place, and the eyes lit up with blue Arc Reactor light.

"heiß verdammt," Prussia whispered in awe.

The mechanical voice coming out of the suit was Tonia's, but it was mostly mechanical with only few humanoid inflections.

"Hello, Russia. I seem to have more Iron than you."

Russia chuckled darkly. "привет, girl of Iron."

"It's not bloody iron," Tonia said annoyedly. "It's a gold-titanium alloy. But it can definitely outmatch a plumbing pipe."

"Kolkolkol..."

"Look, I have Vodka- nii-chan keeps it around."

"Become one again, Kaliningrad?"

"His name...is Prussia," Tonia said darkly. "And yes, I have reinforcements."

"Kolkol...just have him answer the questions."

"This is possibly one of the strangest things I've ever done in this suit," Toni muttered. "Nii-chan mitetekure!"

"Sweet mother of Fritz..." Prussia whimpered. Tonia growled.

"MEIN Preussen, key word being MEIN."

"I-It's fine, Toni, I'll answer the questions..."

"Aw. I got a new shipment of missiles from nii only yesterday, Preussen!"

"My name *coughcough according to you coughcough* is Ka-"

"Nein!" Toni said sharply. "This is not going into this letterbox or this will get a little too violent for teen rating!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Basically, no matter what happens, I'm going to attempt to murder whoever hurts Prussia."

"Da. Well I appear to be outmatched. But you will not always here to protect little Kaliningrad..."

"Fine!" Toni shouted, frustrated. "Answer the questions! See if I care!"

She didn't leave.

"My name (according to you) is Kaliningrad, You are (Mother) Russia, Gilbird tastes like chiken, and Vodka is fine."

"Kolkolkol..."

"JARVIS!" Toni snarled angrily. "Get Russia out of my house, bitte?"

"Heh...triste, Russia," Spain said apologetically. "She Es muy estresado. She will explode at people with little provocation."

"Da," Russia said indifferently. "But I will return, Kaliningrad."


	58. Ally 15

"Kse! It was totally a sneeze!"

**You cheat! That was sooo not a sneeze.  
I have to ask: Do you, Toni, know what HetaOni is?  
Boys, all of you were there, you should remember. I mean you were working  
together for once in your long lives. Also, what are you guys planning to do  
once Toni dies? I mean, she is human, and humans don't live very long. Even if  
she is a self proclaimed Prussian territory.**

Dares:  
Spain: Propose to Romano. Completely serious. Make sure to get it on tape!  
Prussia: Complement Austria, 100 times. No one-three word phrases do not  
count. Hungary gets to secretly make sure you do it.  
France: Kidnap 10 english people. (it doesn't matter whom, as long as it is  
aren't the queen, Arthur himself, or Toni.) Then tell Arthur about all the  
horrible things you are doing to them (AKA: Torture or Rape) But, don't  
actually do any of it. Just keep them hidden. You don't want to start another  
war do you? 

"Can you kidnap all my favorite British stars, pretty pleease?" Tonia asked. *Rape face* "And yeah...I have some idea what HetaOni is. I've never actually watched it. And I've bribed England into working on that...and nii-chan has plans for these things." Toni smirked. "And I plan to literally become a Prussian territory, and not in the perverted way...Prussia will rise, bitches."

She high-fived Prussia.

"Compliment Specs? Is that even possible?"

"I could do it. But not 100 times, so good luck." Toni snorted.

"I will give you British people to kidnap." she instructed, smiling Frenchishly. "First off- Doctor Who. I mean...Matt Smith. And the other lead actors for Doctor Who. Richard Hammond. Jeremy Clarkson. James May. That's six...hm...HARRY POTTER-I mean, Daniel Radcliffe. Seven...um...Emma Watson, so Karen Gillian doesn't get lonely as the only girl. I need two more..."

"Recht, well, you can come up with that while Spain proposes to Romano and I have to come up with some compliments for Specs."

"And I do believe that will take up most of your brain capacity, Preussen," Toni said absently.

"Hey!" Prussia said, offended.

"I didn't mean that the bad way, I meant that that's a hard thing. I can't do it."

"Oh. Well, in that case..."

"Hm...another British star..."

"Roma~!"

"Oh, god, Tomato bastard, what now?"

"Will you marry me?"

"CHIGI!" Romano yelled, blushing. He threw a tomato at Spain and walked away, leaving the BTT and Toni giggling.

"OHMIGOD! You can totally get And Wilman, executive producer for Top Gear UK, the BEST. SHOW. EVER. Apart from Hetalia, of course! And the amazing Steven Moffat, who does Doctor Who! There! Now you can come up with torture!"

France: *.* Onhonhonhon~

Toni inched away from France. "Right...I'll leave you to that."

Prussia headdesked. "How do I compliment Specs?!"

"Dude...do, like, a compliment-insult tandem thing."

"Was?"

"I don't know!" Toni exclaimed. "Give me a break!"

France finished writing the ransom letter to England.

"How did you even get the British people already?"

"Onhonhonhon~"

Everyone inched away from France.

_Dear Angleterre, _

_Onhonhon! It is I, la France! _

_I have ten British people here. I will have a threesome with the girls then castrate the guys with a butter knife. But before I do that, I will hand them over to Toni, as she appears to be fangirling over one of them. _

_**Kese, Doctor Who is here!** *drools*****_

_If you want to see them with their privates (and possibly virginity) intact, please mail me some money, oui? _

_~France _

"FRANCE YOU WANKER!"

"Onhonhon~"

And Finally, Prussia's Dare...

"Hello Austria. You're pretty awesome, and that coming from me is worth 1000 compliments, ja? Kese!"


	59. California 2

"Huh. I should have caught that, you know, being a (teenage) Genius billionaire philanthropist. I think that was a misspeak on my part."

**London's wrong. Fifty-one. She forgot about Washington, D.C., or as some of****  
****us States jokingly call him, Alfred F. Jones, Jr. (I swear the kid is just****  
****like Dad...)******

**Anyway, of course I'd, like, totally know your identity. Hollywood is one of****  
****my kids, remember?******

**As for the (lack of a) Vally Girl accent... That comes and goes, as does the****  
****obsession with movies, constant munchies, back pain and oddly enough,****  
****intellect. I am not a dumb blonde all the time, you know.******

**Now, for the Bad Touchers... Spain doesn't really fit in with the other two.****  
****He's nowhere as annoying as France and Prussia are, and it's not just because****  
****he's one of my parents.******

**Anyway... I dare you three to have a tomato fight. In front of Romano.**

"Gah! America has a mini-me? Don't let them stalk me together!" Toni cried dramatically. "And yeah, but not many people like to talk about me. It's all about nii-chan, because he's older, but I don't mind."

"Hola Cali!" Spain cheered. "I will have a _tomatina_ fight in front of Lovi~!"

Toni tossed Spain a box of tomatoes, which he caught.

"Oof!"

"Get cracking, España."

"Kese! You are no match for my awesome tomato throwing skills!"

"Onhon! Prusse, you are failing to defend your vital regions properly!"

"Was? Of course I am, France you perv!"

"Fuso!" Spain cheered coming in for the kill with flying tomatoes. "I win!"

"...cosa diavolo è questo, tomato bastardo?"

"Hola Lovi~!"

"BASTARDO!"


	60. Florida

"Good god damn, someone actually caught that! Kudos!"

***looks up from a comic book* Hulkette? I believe you mean She-Hulk. Yes,  
there actually is a female version of Hulk, and if I remember correctly, she's  
Bruce's sister.**

Also, if there was to be a girls only version of the Avengers, Storm of the  
X-Men would have to be in it.

-Florida

P.S.: You also got Hawkgirl's name wrong. And as for the BTT... I dare France  
and Prussia to re-enact the sinking of the Spanish Armada. As for Spain...  
*laughs evilly*... Your eyes will be duct-taped open. I will never forgive you  
for what you put me through. 

"Kse! I wondered if one of America's would catch that! I thought one of the states would! It was a TEST, kse!"

"Right..."

"It's true! And ja, I know Storm. She's a pretty awesome girl. AND I HAVE DUCT TAPE."

"Noooo!"

Toni pounced on Spain and applied the duct tape. And a chair.

"KSE~!" she laughed evilly. "What did you even do to Florida..."

"FUSO~"

"KESE~"

"ONHON~"

"Perverts."

"Kes- I mean- ahaha! I am England and I have no sense of humor but somehow I've managed to take over the world! And now Spain is trying to challenge my rule!"

"Onho- We will never bow down to you, England!"

Prussia made a finger gun at France. "Pew."

"NOOOO!" France called out dramatically, sinking to the ground as Spain started crying.

"By the way, Florida, don't you hate the 'America's dick' jokes about your place? You get that a lot, recht?" Toni asked cocking her head.

_**A/N: Revenge is very sweet, Florida. Enjoy. **_


	61. Russia 14

"At least he didn't kill me for...well."

**So that I what I did  
Awwwww no brains this time... :(  
I'll come back soon, da? And next time I'll bring something even more fun to  
play with!**

до свидания  
Russia 

"Heh...um...yeah. Imagine what the world would come to if Russia met Loki..." Toni shuddered.

"DO NOT."

"Nein! Why would I introduce RUSSIA to LOKI?!"

"You introduced him to Alexie!"

"Loki is crazier than Alexie!"

"Seriously?"

"Ja."

"Hm."

"Something to think about, huh?" Toni said, pulling out her StarkPhone. "Nii-chan says I should get a StarkTab, but I say nay! I just keep using this iPad to annoy him, kse. And god, have I gotten a thousand texts from nii. He says...Kse! He says that I'm allowed to trash the house as much as I want. Apparently a lot of the fans want to party. So ja."

"Ouiii!" France cheered.

"Not right now, Frenchie. I have work."

"You always work, mon ami!"

"Ja, I do. FOR A DAMN GOOD REASON."


	62. Bururu 9

"Fack! But, I have a loophole! Kse!"

**'allo!  
So I dare you to introduce Russia to Loki. NOW. (I hope you know you made it  
so I had to do that.)  
Also, I want France to induce at least one nosebleed on EVERYONE through  
suggestiveness as well as pervy actions. Not through landing a blow to their  
face. Remember, EVERYONE. And I wanna know how for each and every one.  
That's it for now, mes amis!  
-Bururu **

"Hmph. Nii-chan will be so mad at me..." Toni pulled out a tablet, hooking Russia up in a video chat with Loki.

"Don't worry, nii, they can't trace each other and I've taken every precaution."

France ripped Prussia's shirt off, and a loud SNRRRK was heard as Toni blew her nose, then walked off into the bathroom, tilting her head forwards.

"Dab you."

"Onhonhon~"

Later...

France snuck a camera into Toni's room as she began to change into a new shirt after her exercise.

Prussia: O_O *SNRRRK*

Even after that...

France ran up to Spain.

"Espagne! Romano is sucking on a cherry tomato!"

Spain: o_o *nosebleed*

And finally, their revenge...

"Hey France! England is RPing as Doctor Who!

France: O.O (that's sexy.)


	63. Ally 16

"Kse!"

"Kesese~"

"Fusoso~"

"Onhonhon~"

******Believe it or not, I kind of like France the best out of the three of you...**

******Maybe it's just cause I'm naturally pervy. The only thing I dislike is your**

******whiskers. I think you look dreamy without them. I don't really like your**

******military clothes either... I kind of like you in a simple button down shirt**

******with your hair tied back.. v**

******Dares:**

******Prussia: Kiss Toni. On the lips. 20 second minimum. Someone get it on video.**

******France: I saw this picture of you and Germany tied up together... semi-nude...**

******Next to it was a picture of your borders touching.**

******Anyways: Come help me with the dishes. I hate my chore, your company would**

******make it much more enjoyable. (Please note: You would be in America, Raping me**

******is against the law seeing as: I'm a minor! But then again... That doesn't stop**

******me from reading Yaoi...)**

******Spain: I always forget you... Start carrying nun-chucks or something.**

******Ciao**

Toni flushed. "K-Kiss me? *SNRRRK*"

Prussia smirked.

France: Onhonhonhonhon~ and Onhonhon to the picture as well! And I will be taking video!

Toni looked down, still flushing. "I...oh, get the fuck on with it!" she leaned over to Prussia, tilting her head up to meet his. France had magically produced a camera and was making his rape face. Prussia slid his hand up to Toni's neck causing her to press into him. Within seconds it turned into a full-on makeout.

A smile tugged at Toni's mouth as Prussia pulled away.

"Ohhhh MEIN GOTT how many fangirls would kill for that?" Toni said, slightly dazed, as Prussia wrapped his arm around her.

"You're Prussian territory in more ways than one, liebe."

Toni flushed. "Kse, Danke Preußen. And Spain, Richard left some nunchuks here, you can borrow. Just don't kill anything. They're in the gym, in the black cabinet. Then we can go help Ally with her chores, kay?"

"Síí!" Spain called as he ran off.

"Kesesese~ You know, Frau, I can do that again if you want."

Toni flushed. "Later, Preußen, later..."

"¡Muy bien! I've got the nunchuks, now we can go!" Spain said.

They left for Ally's house and helped her do the dishes.


	64. BTTfangirl14 10

"Kse! True!"

**UHHH! I USALLY REVIEW EARLIER THAN THIS! ANYWAY...  
spain has nun chucks? cool. AND WHY DID YOU INTRODUCE RUSSIA TO LOKI?! I DON'T  
WANT THE APOCALYPSE! anyways  
you know how to get rid of viscount Druitt? (if you watch black butler then  
you'll know who he is) HE WON'T LEAVE! I TRIED EVERYTHING! he doesn't know i'm  
typing this. any suggestions?  
2. yes really ameribel and PruHun (PruHun's my OTP) America and Prussia.  
3. LUCKY! YOU GOT TO KISS PRUSSIA! YOU WERE RIGHT! any fangirl would DIE of  
happiness of that happened to her.  
4. and england as doctor who? SEXY XD BOW TIES R COOL! had to put that in  
there.  
BYE BTTfangirl14 **

"I know, I didn't want to either! It was a dare!"

"Was? I have no idea, liebe..."

"I KNOW RIGHT! I think I already am dead," Toni looked suspiciously over at Prussia, "And this is heaven..."

"Angleterre as his Doctor Who?" France said. *Rape face*

"MEIN GOTT," Toni said. *_* "The possibilities..."

Everyone inched away from her as she shot off a text to England.

**Hey, England, how's the TARDIS building worling out for ya? ;) **

**You promised me first dibs on a ride in it, remember.**

**Iron Girl :)**


	65. Quebec

"Dare from Quebec..."

"Who?"

*facepalm*

**HI! I have dares for everyone except Toni... anyways, Papa France I bet you  
don't remember me do you? So here are the dares.  
Prussia: I dare you to dress up as Austria the whole day and follow him  
around.  
France: You do the same thing except with England, and you have to be in a  
Pirate!England outfit and follow him around.  
Spain: I dare you to kiss Italy not only in front of Romano, but also in front  
of Germany.  
All: And all three of these tasks must me recorded on video.  
Thank you so much, love you Papa France, bye  
Kyra Williams a.k.a Quebec **

"Kse!" Toni laughed. "Aw man, I get to spend my day recording this! Danke, Quebec!"

"...who?"

"Oh, for god's sake..." Toni facepalmed. "Look, do not ask why or how but here you go. NOWWW...GO."

"Mon dieu, you sound like the knight of Ni from that horrible British movie...Monty Python and ze 'oly Grail?"

"THAT WAS THE POINT."

At Austria's house, later...

"What ze hell are you doing, Prussia?"

"Kesesese~"

"I'm zhis close to calling Hungary..."

"Kse~"

At England's house later...

"What the bloody hell are you doing, Frog?"

"Onhonhonhon-ACK!"

That is what France being strangled by England sounds like.

At Germany's house (A.K.A The Axis base of operations)

"Hola Italia!"

"Ve~ Spain!"

**:***

Enter Germany and Romano.

Germany: o_o

Romano: O_O I'm-a gonna kill you, tomato bastardo...


	66. Sydney, Cynthia, and Morgan

"Are you ready for a LONG ONE?"

"Onhonhonhonhon~"

**Cynthia: Heydiheydiheyhey BTT! I'm Cynthia Fortis!**

**Sydney: HEY! I'm here too!**

Cynthia: *ignores* Anyways, so I was reading this stuff - it's freaking funny, by the way-

Morgan: That's because people getting hurt and terrified is funny to you.

Cynthia: Hey, the title of 'creepy one' still belongs to you.

Morgan: *evil aura* As it should be.

Sydney: *shiver* Please, get out of this letter.

Morgan: *stops evil aura* Why do you guys call it a letter? We 'write' by talking through a headset, and it's not even on paper!

Cynthia: Pfft, technicalities.

Sydney: So, anyways, we normally ask any nations writing letters, or opening ask boxes or whatever. Even OC nations. Really, I think I've annoyed the living crapola out of almost every nation.

Cynthia: It's better than you annoying the living crapola out of me. So! I have a dare for Prussia!

Morgan: Wait, I know this one. You're gonna dare him to sing the 'I Can Swing My Sword Song' by Tobuscus.

Cynthia: ...Damn. So... Sing 'Nugget in a Biscuit' by Tobuscus instead! :D

Morgan: *facepalm*

Cynthia: As for Spain...

Sydney: WAIT! I have an idea!

Cynthia: Shoot.

Sydney: We can throw Spain out the window-

Cynthia: We almost threw Japan and Germany out the window in When You Wish Upon A Star. That joke's overdone.

Sydney: Awwwww...

Cynthia: Plus, Hex is a Spain fangirl, so congratulations, Spain! You don't get killed today. Bummer, because it would have been so much fun to throw him out the window! How many stories is that house anyways?

Morgan: Yeah, I'M the creepy one. Kinda says a lot, doesn't it?

Sydney: It's because you ARE creepy!

Morgan: *evil aura* *begins singing* Kagome... Kagome...

Sydney: NYAAAAAAA! DO! NOT! WANT! *hides behind Prussia*

Morgan: *stops singing* *smirks* My job is done. *leaves*

Cynthia: Yeah, we should probably leave too. Any last thoughts, Sydney?

Sydney: Can I kick France in the balls?

Cynthia: ...That would be amusing. Go.

Sydney: Yay! *kicks France in aforementioned area*

Cynthia: Okay, now let's go.

Sydney: Okay! Bye, guys!

Dylan: RANDOM CAMEO TIME! If tomatoes are fruits, does that make ketchup a smoothie? 

France bent over, cupping his hands around his manhood. Toni giggled. Prussia looked at Toni's tablet for a bit.

"Chicken  
Nugget, biscuit, nugget in a biscuit.  
Nugget, biscuit, nugget in a biscuit.  
Nugget, biscuit, nugget in a biscuit.  
Dip it all in mashed potatoes!  
Nugget, biscuit, nugget in a biscuit.  
Nugget, biscuit, nugget in a biscuit.  
Nugget, biscuit, nugget in a biscuit.  
Dip it all in mashed potatoes!  
Then  
Dip the mashed potato covered chicken nugget biscuit in a BBQ  
sauce  
MMM  
Yum, yum, gimme!

Chicken  
Nugget, biscuit, nugget in a biscuit.  
Nugget, biscuit, nugget in a biscuit.  
Nugget, biscuit, nugget in a biscuit.  
Dip it all in mashed potatoes!  
Nugget, biscuit, nugget in a biscuit.  
Nugget, biscuit, nugget in a biscuit.  
Nugget, biscuit, nugget in a biscuit.  
Dip it all in mashed potatoes!  
Then  
Dip the mashed potato covered chicken nugget biscuit in a BBQ  
sauce  
MMM  
Yum, yum, gimme!"

"And...cue embarassing video upload," Toni said, putting down her iPad. "Kse!"

Prussia lunged for it, but Toni pulled the iPad away. "Kse, too late Preussen!"

"Verdammt!"

"I guess...that's...true. MIND BLOWN."


	67. Guest

"Actually...good question."

**...And now, Prussia, if you would... a potato fight while we have Romano's  
attention.**

As for D.C., he keeps going on about how he's The Capital!, which in his mind  
makes him the most important kid in the family. I wonder if this is common  
with other capitals as well, such as Paris and Madrid. 

"I've never heard Penzance, Yorkshire, or Dover complain about London..." Toni said thoughtfully.

"Oui, Bordeaux, Marseilles and the others do not often complain about mon Paris."

"I haven't head anything about mi pequeñito Madrid," Spain added.

"Maybe it's an American thing."

Meanwhile...

"UGH! I knew you liked Potatoes, potato bastard number 2, but SERIOUSLY?!"

"Kesesesese~"

"This is so stupid and-OOF! NOW you're in for it, Potato bastard number two!"


	68. Florida 2

"Hm? I never would have guessed that."

**I haven't gotten that quite as often as I used to, Toni. Ever since I pointed  
out the fact that Long Island also looks like the part of the male anatomy  
that France loves to celebrate, New York's had that issue.**

Not only that, but Oklahoma's Panhandle looks like an erect **.

It's kinda funny how you can find body parts on a map of the US... For  
example, Montana's border with Idaho looks like a face, while my state looks  
like a leg bent at the knee. 

"Curiosity killed the Iron Girl," Toni muttered. "But it's true..."

"I always knew you were French, Antonette!"

"For god's sake, my name is Antonia. But I am part French."


	69. California 3

"QUOI, WAS, QUE?!"

**I have breaking news from Hollywood... The actor who portrays your brother  
was injured on the set of Iron Man 3, and as such, filming has been delayed.  
Do you happen to know of anyone else who looks like him, by chance?**

- California 

"Mein gott, that's awful!" Toni exclaimed. "I hope he's ok! But I can't think of anybody off the top of my head. If you're looking for something like that, my nii-chan would be more likely to know. The film producers probably have his number. Send my wishes!"

"Right, since this is apparently Stark family business..." Prussia muttered, awkwardly exiting.


	70. Ally 17

"Kse!" Toni snorted. "Maybe I do."

**You know you love my dares Toni.  
Spain: (He's first cuz I remembered him this time. See! The nunchucks worked!)  
Take tomato juice and place it in a perfume bottle. (Like the thin juice that  
comes out when you bite into one, Not the soup) Then wear it. Have Romano come  
over to test out the new scent. Don't tell him it's tomato. Ask him his  
reaction then try to sell him some. (Regardless if he liked it or not)**

France: TASTE MEH COOKING! Seriously, I want to know if these are harmful like  
my last batch... They wouldn't dry... Think Austrian (Chocolate) and American  
food combined; AKA: I made fudge! But these ones hardened... But I think  
something else went wrong. Heat too high maybe? Well, they are cool now...

Prussia: Ahem, Since I have found you fitting... You have won an all expense  
payed trip to Hawaii for the weekend! For you and one 'lucky young lady'. The  
only exception is: Then entire F.A.C.E. family has to come with you. (AKA:  
France, America, Canada, and England) This includes a suite with only one bed!  
No exchanges can be made to get a room with a smaller bed. Doing anything  
other then what is here results in an invalidation and you will have to pay  
for your plane trip back... along with EVERYTHING else. ;D have fun. 

"Does that imply that I'm going to Hawaii with Prussia?" Toni asked, looking it over again. "Because if that's true..."

"Bitte! You can get you bruder's jet to take us so we can get a room where there's not only one bed and I don't have to pay!"

"My nii-chan," Toni said, "Has monopolized use of the jet for the next month or so. Said it had something to do with research. Nah, he just wants to fly to Europe whenever he wants."

"Verdammt!"

Meanwhile...

"Roma! Do you like my new cologne?"

"Hmph. Smells fine, Tomato bastard."

"Do you want some~?"

"No."

"Come onnn, Roma! You know you want it~"

"Fine...what is this even called, anyway?"

"It's tomates~"

"Ugh...fuck you, tomato bastard."

"Fusososo~"

Even more meanwhile...

"This...is not that bad...oui, it's just a little bit too hard..."

"Kse! That's what she said, France!"

"Touche."

Back with Prussia and Toni...

"Fine, I'll go to Hawaii with you."

"Ja!"

"I'm going to sleep on the floor, though."

"Dammit~"

"I can finally have that long talk with Canada I've been looking forward to!" Toni exclaimed. "I lived by Niagara falls for a few years, I've always wondered if he's been~"

"Who?"

"Oh, for god's sake..." *facepalm*


	71. Bururu 10

"IGGY-LAND! What are you most secret-est France escaping tactics?"  
"What?"

**Salut, mes amis! Ha! That makes two of us that likes France! (Well, I love him rather than like...) Has Hungary gone into withdrawals yet? France. I want you to sexually harass Igi. Igi, unlike before, DO NOT DETER FRANCE FROM DOING THE AFOREMENTIONED TASK. Which means no threatening, no objecting, etc. I just have so much fun torturing you Igi. But is it really torture for you? Ohonhon! Spain! Act emo, dress like a goth, and be overall in a dark mood for 24 hours. Prussia! Wear Poland's clothes. (Not the drab ones but the ones he likes to wear... THAT IMCLUDES SKIRTS.) Act like a preppy, ditzy, giggly, teenage girl for 24 hours. There we go. England. Imitate France, and imitate him GOOD. (No trying to make fun of him. Truly imitate him.) For 24 hours. Have fun! ;} THE AWESOME LOKI IS AWESOME! -Bururu**

"Yes. It is torture. And Hungary is now hitting anyone who tries to do anything except offer her Yaoi."  
France popped up behind Toni and groped her. She shuddered but didn't say anything.  
France: Onhonhonhon~ Merci~  
Toni shuddered and Prussia glared at France.  
"Even if this is, like, a dare France, that is, like, totes not cool! Like, I totes asked her out this morning!"  
Toni blushed a bright shade of scarlet. France looked over at Toni. "Is this true?"  
"J-Ja," Toni said, embarrassed. "He did."  
"Kese! I like, told you so, France! She, like, totes belongs to me now, so like, hands off!"  
France: O_o  
Prussia: (/._.)/  
Spain: ...this is stupid.  
France continued to try and sexually harass Toni, but Prussia hit him with Toni's math textbook, which is one thick and butt-ugly thing.  
"Like, she's my girlfriend pervert!"  
France: +_+ (K.O!)  
"...the world depresses me," Spain said.  
Everyone: O_O  
England randomly entered.  
"Iggy-land! Do an imitation of France that isn't mocking!"  
"Hm...Onhonhonhonhon~ I am la France! England is the black sheep of Europe!" England noticibly paused before saying the "black sheep of Europe" bit. "Would you like to see the Eiffel Tower? Onhonhonhonhon~"  
"Actually," Toni said, cocking her head. "That was very good."  
"It comes, like, naturally when you hang out with him for a few thousand years," Prussia snickered.  
"Oui oui..." England muttered.  
"Kse!" Toni snorted. "This is going to be an interesting household for the nest 24 hours."  
"Like, totally."  
"You're creeping me out."  
"Like, sorry."  
"Oh god..." Toni said, facepalming. A now recovered France squeezed her ass and she yelped, Prussia put his hand on his hip.  
"Like, not cool Player."


	72. Chibibeanie 3

"Do you want us to die?" Toni asked.

"Quoi?"

******Hello! It's me again, and today I dare France, Spain, and Prussia to be locked**

******in a room with Russia claiming to have stolen his sunflowers and Vodka (I'm so**

******evil :D) And only Toni can read this next part.**

******You have to tip off Belarus that the BTT is trying to steal her big brother**

******away from her to become one. Good Luck, and I pray you will all survive****.**

"Again, I ask...do you WANT us to die?" Toni said. France hid behind her.

"Je suis trop belle pour mourir par la Russie!"

"...so am I!" Toni said.

"Was?" Prussia asked as he entered, joining the discussion.

"The reviewers want you to be locked in a room with Russia and tell him that you stole his vodka and sunflowers."

"Das ist nicht genial! warum die Gutachter wollen uns tot?"

"I don't know," Toni said. "But they obviously do. And I would rather you die by Russia than get raped and murdered by fangirls."

"I choose the fangirls," Prussia said. "At least that way I get sex before I die."

Toni facepalmed. "I'd choose Russia, thanks."

"Wait. Are you coming in with us?" Prussia asked, pointing to Toni.

"Moi? Nein! I have another dare that will certainly get me killed."

"Was ist es?"

"Can't tell you, traurig!"

"Not awesome." Prussia complained, folding his arms. Toni stood up.

"Go in the room and when Russia tries to kill you go quietly. I think it'll make it less painful." she said quietly. "And even though you were dating me my overprotective nii-chan will come to your funeral."

Prussia smiled slightly. "Ich liebe dich, Toni."

She smiled back. "Ich liebe dich auch, Preußen."

France ruined the moment. "Why don't you have le sex before you die, Prusse? Onhonhon~"

"Because she's underage," Prussia said evenly. France made a face.

"Age is just a number, Prusse~"

"Whatever," Toni huffed. "Get in the room, you idiots. Ich liebe dich."

She pulled Prussia into a quick kiss before letting them go into the room. After they left, she picked up the phone.

"Natalya? You're going to want to get over here RIGHT AWAY. The BTT- god, no! Don't kill them! Please? Good. They're becoming one with your brother. Ja. Please don't do any lasting damage to their brains or any vital reigons? Thank you. And you didn't hear this from me. Yes, this is a dare. No, I'm not lying. Ok. Thank you."

Toni ran to her lab.

"Thrusters, thrusters...I could just use the gloves and boots as a skeleton suit in case. These guys, they get into so much deep Shieße all the damn time..."


	73. Jewel

"I'll be the fangirl!"

"Was?"

******Jewel:Hola! I have a dare for the bad touch trio! All of you must not smile or**

******laugh for an hour. If you fail once, you must go into a pitch black closet**

******with a fangirl for 10 seconds. If you fail a second time, it will be twenty**

******seconds and so on. Have fun! By the way, Spain, you are just like me and**

******Prussia...you are awesome. France...just no. And Igi, you are more awesome**

******than Prussia!**

"Ja! I am more awesome than Prussia! I'm Toni Stark!" Toni cheered, while Prussia rolled his eyes.

"You're my awesome girlfriend, liebe, but not nearly as awesome as me!"

Toni giggled. "Ja, right." she said sarcastically. "When was the last time you saved the world? When was the last time you built a super powered mech suit in a cave in the Califronia central valley to escape because your parents had locked you in a bunker for thirteen years and everyone thought you were dead? Do you have a reactor in your heart? I don't think so, Prussia, this just makes me AWESOMER!"

Prussia rolled his eyes. "Whatever, liebe."

Toni smirked. "And the time where you are not allowed to smile starts now!"

A few minutes later...

"Donde Esta Prusia and Toni?" Spain asked looking around.

"Oh. They have half a minute in the closet as part of the dare, Oui?" France said, picking up the remote. "I'm going to watch that movie Toni likes without her."

"Si!" Spain said (somehow managing not to smile) sitting on the couch next to France.


	74. Florida 3

"England! You need to teach your little sister better geography!"

"What?"

"She got America's geography all wrong!"

"...do I really give a damn?"

"Probably not. Kse!"

**At least she isn't Spanish... Although Cali would love that. I have no idea  
why she still likes him, even though we were both owned by him...**

Oh, and London STILL has it wrong. It's still 51, but technically, Michigan is  
still England's, while Puerto Rico, as far as I know, albeit only a territory,  
is also one of Dad's (with Spain, like myself and Cali).

Dares: I dare France to corrupt Louisiana and Illinois. Apparently, those two  
(along with Michigan, who has the entire FACE family as parents...) are  
France's. 

"Onhonhonhon~"

"I think that's France-speak for 'I already did.' Kse!" Toni snorted. "And I had no idea Michigan was still Iggy-land's. And he's not that bad~"

Toni took this opportunity to give Spain a hug.

"Que?"

"Nothing, Spain~ Oh, and Puerto Rico is a territory. And I'm jelly of Michigan. I'd totally hang with F.A.C.E~"


	75. Crumbthief

"Toniiii!"

"Was?"

"We have a new one!"

"What the...oh, fine."

**Just stopping by before I go rescue more nations and etc. anime peeps from  
rabid, molesting fangirls. *sees truck with GERITA spray painted on back* hold  
on a sec...FIRE IN THE HOLE! *lights vodka with matchstick and throws* score!  
Ha, blasted a nice hole in that truck...*waves bye to Germany and italy*  
Prussia: jump off the Empire state building with a wing sut and slam dunk a  
basketball in the basketball hoop  
France: let's see how many girls you can hook in thirty seconds...ready, set,  
go!  
Spain: try to pull romano's curl without getting tackled or slapped! **

"...dafuq did I just read?" Toni said, looking back over it. "This one's gonna be a toughie...hey, where's Prussia?"

Toni's phone began to play Iron Man by Black Sabbath.

"I am Iron Man!

Has he lost his mind?

Can he see, or is he blind?

Can he walk at all?

Or if he moves, will he fall..."

Toni pulled out her phone.

"Guten tag, mein bruder!" she said, putting the phone on speaker. The voice of a rather annoyed Tony Stark came out.

"Kid, your boyfriend jumped off the Empire State building in a wingsuit..."

"Ah! Sorry, nii-chan! How badly did Natasha kill him?"

"Not that badly at all, actually. Are you willing to come pick him up, or-"

"Nein, send him over here. Use the sonic jet, I want him back here ASAP. Because I need to smack him upside the head for going without me!"

"Um...ok. I'll do that."

"Ich liebe dich, bruder!" Toni called as she hung up. France and Spain stared at her.

"What?" she said annoyedly. "My nii-chan is allowed to give me a call once in a while."

France: o.o

Spain: O.O

France smiled evilly. "Toni, didn't you count that already?"

"Ja. You got fifteen, because they were all fangirls." she hmphed and crossed her arms.

Meanwhile...

"CHIGI! Tomato bastardo!"

"Fusoso~" You missed me, Lovi~!"

"I'm-a gonna kill you!"


	76. Chibibeanie 4

"NOT THE SUIT!"

"...whaaat?"

**HAHAHAHAHA! I'm baaaaack! Yes it is me, the one who almost killed you with my  
dare! But don't worry, I'll be nice today. Kinda. Prussia must steal Poland's  
pony and kidnap Lithuania. Spain has to dress up like a female flamenco dancer  
and then compete in a bullfight, still dressed asa female flamenco dancer.  
France has to eat England's scones and steal his spellbook, then attempt to  
use it to curse...someone. I don't really care who as long as it isn't me.  
Toni, you have to lend your suit to America for a whole day. Have fun! **

"Not the suit!" Toni wailed once more, dramatically. America looked in.

"Did somebody say I could borrow your suit?"

"Oh for god's sake...do you stake out outside waiting for my nii-chan or Cap to appear or something." Toni facepalmed. "It's in the lab. Please don't kill it...or anything else, so my nii-chan doesn't kill me..."

"SWEET!"

"Hey, mein awesome girlfriend?"

"What?"

"Where can I hide Poland's pony?"

"Backyard. Oh, hi Lithuania."

"...hi."

Spain walked in, slightly angry, and wearing a flamenco dress. Toni and Prussia cracked up.

"Mein gott, Spain!" Prussia snickered.

"Kse!" Toni snorted. "And as to England's scones and spellbook, France, I stole them already, so HAH."

"...Pourquoi suis-je des amis avec vous?"

"Because I love youuu," Toni replied, giving France a hug. France smirked.

"Onhonhonhon~, would you like to take that love-"

"NEIN!" Toni said sharply, shoving him. "Spain...wait, where's Spain?"

Meanwhile...

"UGH! Que se joda este vestido de estúpido!"

The bull mooed loudly, Spain meeped and rolled off to the side.

"Should I take the dress off or not?"

Back at the house...

"What were you thinking, going without me? I could have brought my suit for safety! AND you got my nii-chan and his friends annoyed! Seriously, Prussia?"

"I said I was sorry, Toni!"

"Are you two done releasing sexual tension?" France asked, looking up from England's spell book. "I'm trying to curse Angleterre."

Toni flushed. "THERE IS NO SEXUAL TENSION!"

"Ah, right..."

Five minutes later...

"WHY DID ENGLAND'S EYEBROWS SHRINK!? I WILL PERSONALLY MURDER YOU, FRANCE!"

"Wow, cool it London."

"The world's most overprotective little sister, everybody!"


	77. Michigan Who?

"I am TONI STARK, dammit."

**Technically, I'm still Iggy's even if officially I'm Alfred's. This is why I  
can see magical beings.**

Trust me... You're not jelly of me. I have the entire FACE family as parents.  
Do you know how hard it is to balance being a hero, a magic user and a pervert  
all the while being invisible?

I hate being associated with Canada! The only time people know who I am is  
during college football season! I want to be known all the time!

...I bet that just made me even sexier to Prussia and France.

Dare time... Since both Prussia and France have crushes on Canada, Spain, I  
dare you to develop a crush on Canada.

- Michigan (Who?) 

"France...you've turned another one into a pervert?" Toni asked, facepalming. "You just don't change..."

"Onhonhonhonhon~"

"Canada's cool," Toni said, typing on her new Stark brand laptop. "And I don't pay much attention to American football..."

"Kesesesese~"

"How do you dare someone to- never mind. This will make a REALLY awkward four way..." Toni muttered, smirking.

"OH RIGHT!" she added, looking up. "I am SO SORRY for the delay. Normally I post the responses as soon as possible, but the internet crashed. Nii-chan had to send me a new router, and a new laptop, since FRANCE sat on the old one! But this operation is back online now, danke gott. And I've got a new laptop. I might misplace some letters, so...if I didn't get to yours, JUST RE-SEND, BITTE. Kay? Danke!"


	78. Bururu 11

"What part of 'No meat or I'll die' is unclear?"

******Ve, since it's late and I'm tired, I'll make it a short one.**

******America. Go without any form of hamburgers, sodas, milkshakes, ice cream, or**

******frites. For 48 hours. (because non, they are not FRENCH fries because they**

******originated in Korea. Da-ze.)**

******Prussia, go without beer or alcohol for 48 hours.**

******West, you too.**

******France, no wine. No flirting. 48 hours as well.**

******Spain, no tomatoes or Romano. 48 hours.**

******Toni. No non-meat food for 48 hours.**

******London. No Doctor Who for 48 hours.**

******England. Go murder Flying Mint Bunny in the most excruciating way possible.**

******And then tell moi how you did it.**

******Bonnuit mes amis! *:.********｡********. o()o .********｡********.:***

******-Bururu**

"See, this dare was actually funny until we got to the 'Toni, no non-meat for two days' part. Because honestly, what part of 'if I eat meat I will hurl then choke' is unclear? A better way to word it would have been...'Toni. No eating for 48 hours.' because that would have just been easier."

"WAS?! No beer?!"

"Kse! At least you can eat!"

"I can't eat either!" America groaned.

"What? You can eat something! Like, I don't know, SALAD!?"

"Haha! Dude, salad is nasty!"

"Better than nothing, and it won't kill you!"

"No Doctor Who!? But Asylum of the Daleks is airing soooon! And this is the last season with Amy and Rory!" London cried, dramatically falling to the ground.

"...I don't think it's possible to murder Flying Mint Bunny."

"How would you if you could, then?"

"I wouldn't."

"You're no fun, Iggy-land..." Toni said, facepalming.

"Victoria? Go fetch...the MONTY PYTHON!"

"What the hell?" Toni asked as London ran off.

"Oh, we got you Monty Python as a distraction, Toni~"

"I fucking love you, Iggy-land."

The others looked confused. While Toni hugged England, England mouthed, _"She gets PMS when she doesn't eat."_

Everyone nodded as they realized.

Prussia kept complaining. Actually, everyone did.

"My blood is made of beer~"

"Tomates are everything~ and I love my little Roma~"

"Two days without l'amour!?"

"Oh, for god's sake, everyone shut up!" Toni yelled. "We have to do this, so we're going to fucking do it. Or I'll rip your intestines out and make balloon animals out of them, Ja?"

Everyone jumped, and France hid behind Prussia.

"Right," England said, inching away from Toni.

"Now fucking survive, because I know I fucking well will, god dammit." Toni stormed off into her lab.

"Fucking...where the fuck...my fucking headphones...OH FOR GODSAKE HOW DOES ONE LOSE A MUTTERFICKEN MISSILE!?"

Everyone: O_O

Prussia sighed. "I'm going to go talk to her..."

France: Onhonhonhonhon~

"Good luck, dudes," America said.

London returned, holding some DVDs. "Where's Toni?"

"LONDON!? I have a completely serious question that must be answered seriously!"

"Um, ok, what?"

"WHAT WERE YOU SMOKING WHEN YOU CAME UP WITH PUTTING ONE DIRECTION IN THE OLYMPICS? So that I know not to use that!"

London blushed. "It wasn't my idea, I swear! My boss said to, I said I didn't want to, then he overruled me and-"

"WHATEVER! Just don't do it again!"

"Toni, calm down. My awesomeness will help you survive."


	79. Ally 18

"NEIN! PREUßEN!"

"...what?"

******Is it strange I caught Italy reading my fanfiction before I published it? He**

******was reading it write out of the journal this morning. I wasn't expecting**

******that...**

******I'm tried! I just woke up from my coma-like sleep... So sorry if my dares**

******suck...**

******France:Eat a lightbulb**

******Spain:Become your Fem! version and go purpose to Romano... AGAIN.**

******Prussia: Break up with Toni, go out with another girl for a week, then break**

******up with the new one. Then you can get back with Toni...**

*******yawn***

******What the...**

******ITALY! DON'T YOU DARE! I HAVEN'T EDITED IT YET!**

"Pshht. Puroisen over there practically reads mine before I write them."

France: (chewing lightbulb) _-

"This hurts..."

"Man over. And Spain, you are now femmed."

"Síí!"

Spain ran off and over to Romano.

"...hello, female tomato bastard."

"Hola Lovi~"

"...you know, tomato bastard, you make a very bella girl." *blush*

"Gracias Roma~"

Some light Spamano happened. ;) ;)

Meanwhile...

"Toni, it's part of the dare."

"Fuck. My dad was right." she stormed off into her lab.

"Fuck. Well, Danke," Prussia said sarcastically. "She's going to spend a whole week in there, possibly without sleeping, eating nabisco crackers and milk like Nikola Tesla. And maybe she'll finally snap. That wouldn't be awesome."

"Shut up, so-called Oresama!"

"...that hurt."

"Fuck off!" Toni called out.

"Are you crying?"

"NO."

"Fine. Well reviewers, you've got Depressed!Toni for a week! Hey France!"

"Oui?"

"Can you make sure she keeps changing her power cells for the reactor?"

"Oui."


	80. South Korea

"Hm-WAS?"

"What's wrong, liebe?"

**Your suit was created in Korea! *shows Toni the tag on the neckline that says  
"Made in Korea"* Finally, I have actual proof that SOMETHING was created in  
Korea, daze! Now all I need to do is claim China's breasts, and everything I  
say will be true for once!**

- (South) Korea 

"Wha-WHAT THE HELL? Did you put that there? Of course you did, what am I saying, because the Iron Girl suit was built HERE, in California! It's a Stark original!" Toni exclaimed, examining her suit. "Besides, some things were made in Korea...like K-Pop, kse! But the suit was made by Stark! Made by ME, da-ze!"

"...cool it, Toni..."

"I spent three months working on that thing...in a cave. In the Central Valley mountains."

"Recht..."

"Isn't China a boy, ano?" Toni asked.

"What does ano mean, amiga?" Spain asked.

"Oh! It's Czech for yes! And I just like how it sounds, ano," Toni replied.

"Oui...how are we friends with you?"

"Because I'm supposed to be your bodyguard~ and you know you love me~"


	81. Sydney, Cynthia, and Morgan 2

"You up for another long one, ano?"

"Kesesesese~"

"Onhonhonhonhon~"

"Fusosososo~"

Toni facepalmed. "You pervs..."

**Morgan: Prussia, Cynthia has been watching that video on a constant loop.  
She's probably making it go viral as we speak.**

Sydney: Don't forget about me!

Morgan: *sigh*

Cynthia: *enters room* That video never gets old.

Sydney: Wait, did you download it to your iPod?

Cynthia: No.

Sydney: *reaches for iPod*

Cynthia: Maybe.

Morgan: You, my friend, are obsessive.

Cynthia: No, I'm /dedicated/.

Morgan: That's the same excuse Hex uses about her writing. And Sims 3. And  
Minecraft. And PewDiePie.

Cynthia: :D Hex's a bro? AWESOME.

Sydney: Oh well, we thought of another dare! One that also involves Tobuscus.

Morgan: Yep, these two love torturing you guys with his videos.

Cynthia: *pulls out long list labeled, 'Ways to Torture the Bad Touch Trio  
With Different Internet Memes'* So, Spain, you must sing Safety Torch. France  
will be Timmy.

Sydney: XD This is gonna be fuuuun!

Cynthia: Yeah! Oh, Tori, post that one online too. I want to savour the  
moment.

Sydney: Prussia also has to sing the Tron Legacy Literal Trailer, by Tobuscus  
again.

Morgan: You two would die without his videos.  
**Cynthia: That we would.**

Dylan: Yes! That's seventeen people's minds blown by that fact! :D

"Oh god..." Toni said, rubbing her eyes. "I'm kinda tired, boys. I stayed up until three in the morning writing."

"You were playing on your iPad!"

"Nein!" Toni said, looking shifty. "I was on Deviant-I mean, Evernote! But anyway..."

"Put it on your porch, make a  
SAFETY PORCH!  
Put it in the hallway.  
SAFETY TORCH!  
Scare the monsters away.  
SAFETY TORCH!  
That'll be 50 bucks."

"But my house is on fire."

"Tim Tim, things are looking grim grim,  
But lucky for you you,  
I have come with a solution!  
It's your lucky day!  
SAFETY WATER!  
Put it in a bucket.  
SAFETY WATER!  
Pour it on the fire!  
SAFETY WATER!  
Maybe make a bubble bath.  
SAFETY WATER!  
First one's on the house."

Toni snickered. "Just so you know...I literally loled thinking about this. YOUR TURN, Preussen!"

"Oh gott...fine." he cleared his throat.

"Motorcycle, switch lanes, reckless.  
Swerve right, jump, don't miss your exit!  
Driving uphill, pan up quickly.  
Panning down, you have arrived at Flynn's  
Rear-view mirror, focus.  
Enter, turn on flashlight.  
SWITCHBOX!  
Flip it, games all turn on.  
Top-view walking, tilt up pan down.  
Ignore the other arcade games.  
Towards the only one that matters,  
TRON.  
Blue light, look at a quarter.  
Insert quarter, gets rejected.  
Pick it up, don't waste your quarter.  
Look at the arcade game, touch it.  
Tron rotating, cut.  
Shhhhh...  
Wipe the dust off of a touchscreen.  
Oh *#$, turn around, something's rising.  
Lens lights up, light grows to blinding, cut.  
Megatron gateway floating downwards.  
People look small, LIGHTNING, fade out.  
Laser-tag, wait, that's a spaceship.  
Looking down, things are rotating.  
Light-cycle speeds past, going to a building.  
Fade to a hot chick on a bench, look left.  
Tiny hand-held stargate, rack-focus.  
Elevating bad guys, wide shot bad guys.  
Step on the light floor, throw, deflect it.  
Blonde chick bounces, creepy guitar.  
Light car peels out, frisbee jetpack zoom.  
Walking, walking, walking, walking, cut.  
JEFF BRIDGES!  
Chunks of light come outta nowhere,  
Spin randomly, then they spell...  
Tron. Legacy. Eee, eee, eee."

"DAMMIT JEFF BRIDGES!" Toni yelled random,y, causing the BTT to jump.

"The hell?"

"Haven't you seen Tron without Special Effects by Smosh? It's FrUKing hilarious!" she laughed.

"Fine, chica, I'll take your word for it."


	82. California 4

"Heh. Well, he definitely has my number...and not in THAT way, France!"

"Onhonhonhonhon~"

"Fuck you too."

******They already asked him... That was the first thing they did, oddly enough, although I wonder if either set of Avengers knows anyone (or any other superhero for that matter, regardless of which company they work for, since I firmly believe Dad has the number of every single female superhero that has ever existed...)**

******Speaking of which, that's your dare, France. I've heard that superheroines are better at amour than regular females. Could you please try and prove that?**

******Spain and Prussia, please make sure that he doesn't try to corrupt our dear Toni right off the bat.**

"Oh fuck," Toni cursed, whacking France with her math textbook as he approached her.

"Ja, you heard, Toni doesn't count!" Prussia said, folding his arms. France sighed.

"Merde~"

"I'm still going to go into the panic room," Toni muttered. "I don't trust you Fra-ANCE!" she jumped as France magically appeared behind her armchair and tried to squeeze her breast. She whirled around, twisting his arm and punching him in the gut. "What part of 'do not corrupt the awesome Toni Stark' is unclear?"

France groaned. "Well then, who can I corrupt?"

"Hm, I'd say Tasha but A.) She's Russian and B.) She would beat the holy hell out of you."

Too late, France was already gone.

"Oh well, at least he didn't go for Hawkgirl...that would have gone badly. And I don't think I'd know of anyone, then, sorry California. All my wishes to my nii-chan's actor, though!" Toni said. "And I'm not sure if the others would know. Maybe. You can probably contact them through nii-chan, since they all live in the tower now~"

Prussia looked up from Toni's laptop, which he had stolen from her when she punched France.

"Toni, this is kinky. Were you reading this that time you were blushing and France asked if you were reading Fifty Shades of Gray?"

Toni flushed and grabbed the computer back. "Do NOT go into my Internet history again!" she said, flushing. "And no!"

Later, France returned and stated simply that the rumor was true. Toni turned a very pale shade and moved away from France very slowly.

"My awesome brain..."


	83. Michigan 2

"ACK! FU, Stupid FanFiction formatting!"

"...was?"

**Clarification: The "Who?" is not part of my name. It's a joke on how I'm****  
****considered the Canada of the States.******

**Anyway... I think you should put something on your laptops that causes a very****  
****sharp object to jut into France's crotch whenever he sits on it. That reminds****  
****me... France, are you into S&M? One of England's siblings was curious.******

**If you are, I dare you to dom Belarus.******

**(Alaska: kolkolkolkolkolkol *smiles*)**

"Um...ja, I knew that," Toni said. "I was trying to be funny, but FanFiction apparently doesn't like parentheses. It was supposed to be like your signature! Michigan (Who?), but Parentheses don't take and I forgot that. I should have remembered...duh. And I like that sharp object idea. I'm going to go work on that..."

she rushed into her lab, grinning. France paled and his under the red and gold Iron Man throw blanket.

"S&M? Quoi, moi? That's more of Prusse's thing." France said.

"Was? Mein? Es ist mein Bruder!"

"Do NOT deny that you-"

"Ok, ja sort of. Not as much as West, though."

"Onhonhonhonhon~"

"Que?"

"Oh, Spain...you're so oblivious."

"Que?"


	84. Bururu 12

"Oh FUCK."

**Hallo mein awesome friends!  
I am finding myself on a bit of a German craze today.  
I found out two of mein friends are Prussian and I'm not! I'm the only  
Hungarian in our group though... Yay! Frying pans for all!**

Prussia, I just hope you know I went to every single chat room on a site and  
claimed them and their vital regions for the awesome Prussia.

Ma Cher Tonia, convince Germany to throw a German Sparkle party at his house.  
However, Germany is allowed to come up with all the terms and regulations for  
the party, so it'll probably suck. Everybody has to go unless they're banned  
from the party by Germany. And say what they did to pass the time.  
THIS PART IS FOR ROMANO ONLY, NOBODY ELSE READ  
Romano, I want you, whether you are invited or not, to serve Toni some  
Fetticini Carbonara at the party, but assure her it only has vegetables. But  
you are really going to go with the original recips and put a little ham in,  
and see if Toni can detect it or not, and see if she dies. If she doesn't die  
and blames you, blame it on Spain. 'Kay? But stay to watch.  
Ve! Tchüss!  
-Bururu 

"Kesesesese~! Awesome!"

Toni paled. "German...sparkle...party? Aw, fuck it- BUTTHOLES!" Toni sneezed, Prussia leaned away and looked at his sleeve, which was now dotted with crimson.

"Is that blood?"

Toni flushed. "Nein!"

~later, at the party~

"Hello, Iron Man bastard," Romano said.

"Gah!" Toni jumped, blowing her nose. "Oh, hello Romano~"

"I have some Fettuccine, bastardo."

"Cool...what kind?"

"Fettuccine Carbonara."

"Is it vegetarian?"

"Tch! Yes."

"Fine," Toni said, glaring at Romano and slowly tasting it. Shortly after swallowing, she turned green and proceeded to vomit on the floor, glaring at Romano and cursing in slightly slurred German.

"Ficken werde dich töten, Romano-" she paused again to force the contents of her stomach out- "Ich werde zerreißen Ihren Darm und machen sie zu Ballontiere-" she coughed. "Verdammt, Italienisch Bastard, ich ersticken-"

"Don't speak the potato bastard language! Tch!"

"DAMMIT ROMANO-" she coughed and made a hacking noise- "I'M FUCKING CHOKING!"

Prussia ran over. "Was die hölle, Romano?"

"Don't kill me, potato bastard number two! It was-" he paused. "-it was entirely Spain's idea."

"QUE? NO!"

"Don't LIE, tomato bastard!"

"YOU don't lie, Roma! I trusted you!"

Meanwhile, Prussia had commenced CPR. (France: Onhonhonhonhon~)

"I'm going to kill you, Romano-" Toni wheezed as she sat up (most definitely not dead.) "I'm going to rip out your intestines and make them into balloon animals-fuck-God DAMN-"

Romano bravely retreated.


	85. Apprentice

"...WTF?"

***A square in the ceiling pops open and the Apprentice jumps out wearing a  
ninja outfit 3 times too big for her.***

Hallo. I'm a little new here, but I hope I might not be too bold to dare each  
of you to kiss each other while I take pictures for my private collection.

*readies the camera and laughs to self*

Finally... Pictures that are not secret...and not blurry...

*tears gather at the corner of her eyes*

Thank you... Thankyouuuuuuuuuuuu *gets sucked up like a vacuum to the ceiling  
and the square closes* 

"Not secret?" Spain asked, scooting away.

"I know that Toni is mt number one fangirl and ex-stalker, but having more than one stalker is verdammt CREEPY," Prussia said, shuddering.

"Go right ahead," Toni said, grinning.

"You have been reading those FanFictions..." Spain muttered.

"Ja, I have," Toni said, pulling out her own camera. "Noww...GO!"

It was very awkward, but it happened.


	86. Soarra 2

"Kse! I know."

**Toni you are a very lucky girl. Yup. To be Prussia's girlfriend. You are  
definitely more awesome than Prussia and Prussia? Even though you are mein  
most awesome country, *gets creepy aura* if you hurt Toni again Ill hunt you  
down and perform the worst Russian torture with Russia. Got that, Kallingrad?  
*creepy aura disapears* Anyway I don't really feel like tortureing Prussia  
right now so I just want his thoughts on Fialeja's female versions of Mein  
Gott and My Song That Is Written By Me, For Me. I think they're awesome  
I dare Spain to not eat any tomatoes for a MONTH while Romano eats a bunch  
right next to him.  
And France... well he can dress up as Princess Peach and pretend that Spain is  
Mario and Prussia is Luigi for a week.  
Also do you think you could let Russia in so I can give him a hug? Pwease?  
Soarra **

"Oh, hey Soarra!" Prussia said, putting his arm around Toni. "Ja, we made up."

"Kse! Of course I'm more awesome than Prussia!" Toni gloated, as Prussia gave her a friendly shove.

"And my name is PRUSSIA for god's sake," Prussia complained. "I don't like being called that anymore. Oh yeah, and they're awesome! Like me!"

"Wha-wha?" Spain asked. "I can live without tomates for about as long as Toni can live without FanFiction, or Prussia can live without beer!"

France was already wearing the dress as he ran into the room. Toni's jaw dropped.

"What has been seen cannot be unseen. Oh god..." she shielded her eyes using her iPad and hid behind Prussia.

Romano threw a tomato at France, and Spain twitched.


	87. Florida 4

"Good luck with that, Florida!"

**Florida:You might not hear from me for a few days... There's a hurricane  
coming my way.**

I dare Spain to ride this thing out with me so he knows what Puerto Rico,  
Haiti, Cuba and I deal with every year. It'd be a good experience for him.

Toni... You need to change the type of metal in your name... Down here on the  
Gulf Coast lately, any word that starts with I gets a response of "Oh, gods...  
Here comes another one!", as since 2001, there have been SEVEN hurricanes that  
have hit this area whose name started with I (Iris, Isidore, Isabel, Ivan,  
Ike, Igor and Irene)... Isaac will make EIGHT in the last 12 years!

The I thing is real... I can't say any name that begins with I around here  
anymore, lest people freak out. Heck, Louisiana has actually banned India,  
Israel, Ireland, Iceland, Ivory Coast, Illinois, Iowa, Indiana and Idaho from  
visiting her house during hurricane season, and the Italies have to refer to  
each other by their human names! 

"The funny thing is, my onii-chan and I both complain about that!" Toni said, shrugging. "It's actually a gold-titanium alloy, but somehow everyone thinks it's the I-metal. But I guess 'Iron Girl' is catchier than 'Gold-Titanium Alloy girl'. I dunno if that sort of thing can be changed."

She said this while shoving a desperately protesting Spain onto the Stark Enterprises private plane.

"A dare is a dare, Spain. Bye now! Don't use the pole too much!"

In response to Prussia and France's confused looks, Toni replied, "There's a stripper pole in there..."

France grinned and lunged for the plane, but Toni grabbed his cloak as Spain left.

"Nice try."


	88. Bururu 13

"Fuck...you're gonna have a bad time, Preussen."

"STOP QUOTING MEMES."

**Hallo.  
I listened to France's Hatafutte Parade and La Pasion no se Detiene. First of  
all Spain, sweet singing voice. Second, Romano, you sound so cuuuute! You  
sound really cute. I wouldn't want you for your inheritance, you just sound so  
cute! I want to jump in right now and give you a kiss on the cheek! CUTENESS!  
Oh yes, and third. France, your Hatafutte parade screams rape near the end.  
But I love it a looooot. Chu!**

France and Toni, I dare you to switch both places and act like the other for  
24 hours. So that means Toni, you must act like a spreader of amour, and  
France, you actually have to act decent. And date Prueßen. I'm so happy I  
learned how to type the German sharp s!

Have fun  
-Bururu 

Toni's eyes were still bleeding from seeing France in the dress.

"I agree...Romano's pretty cool," she said, wiping the blood away. "I visited his half if Italy a while back...nicest place I've ever been. I want to go to Europe so badly it hurts, but my onii-chan says I have to stay here since I'm the Avenger-in-charge of the nations."

"Hello, Preussen," France said. Prussia turned even paler that humanly possible (even for him- so pale, a vampire would envy him) and hid behind the couch. Toni giggled out France's signature laugh.

"This is going to be so hard to explain to onii-chan..."

"He's still wearing the dress, god help me..." Spain said when Toni video-called him to update him.

"Onhonhonhon~ Oui, he is." Spain stared blankly at Toni.

"I'm never going to get used to this."

"At least it is only 24 hours, oui?" Toni replied.

"By the way, Toni," France swaid. Toni didn't dare turn around, because Spain started bleeding through the eyes just looking through the video camera,

"You don't talk much about the first twelve years of your life."

Toni flushed. "T-There is a reason for that, la France!" she shut down the video call.

"Merde, this sucks."


	89. Bururu 14

"Fun fact: WHEN I FOUND THIS OUT I MURDERED FRANCE THEN USED ENGLAND'S MAGIC WITHOUT HIS KNOWLEGE TO BRING FRANCE BACK SO I WOULDN'T GET CAUGHT."

**Hullo! That was awesome. And I was looking at history, and then I noticed  
something.**

France...

You...

Killed...

Holy Rome?!

How could you? You heartless bastardo! Big Brother France, you-

*The following material has been censored out by the reviewer because she does  
not want Spain's last remnants of innocence to dissapear*

Anyways, I want you make SOMETHING, ANYTHING happen that makes N. Italy fight  
Sweden without getting all cowardly and running off in the end.

Do anything you need to.  
Ciao (Oh I also want France's fashions limited to only punk-rocker designs.) 

"I know!" Toni said, grinning. "Hey, Ita-chan! Sweden stole your pasta!"

Toni then realized what she had just done, and headdesked accordingly. "Dammit, now Sweden is going to kill me. And I'm friendly with Norge and Den, too. I'm going to have to apologize for that...and thank you for limiting France's apparel, by the way. I gave him some of my onii-chan's things from the eighties, and-"

Cue Punk!France. Toni hid behind Prussia again.

"Then again, maybe not."

Toni pulled out her phone, shooting off some texts- one to her brother, and three to Denmark and Norway. Each.

"OH sweet mother of Prussia..." Toni muttered, dragging her boyfriend backwards down the hall as a human shield to escape France. Spain was still in Florida...but when he saw the picture Prussia took, he screamed and his under the bed.


	90. Bururu 15

"It's not that late here...Pacific time, it's about midnight."

**That's so freaking awesome!**

I feel like I'm annoying you people... That's just my Asian "politeness" gene,  
making me feel like apologizing every 10 seconds...

Ve, How late do you stay up?! It's like, 2:30 am where I live. Yet again, I'm  
awake too, so... :3  
I hope Sweden got a black eye.

Anyways. Prueßen. I hear you're quite fond of N. Italy. Go do each other's  
hair or something. Oh! I know. N. Italy, you must give Prueßen a full  
makeover, then present him to the world.

Oh, speaking of Ita-chan, does he fully understand *beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*  
yet? Oh I'm sorry, I suppose it's more widely referred to as the "birds and  
the bees".  
Because with France teaching you about it, I doubt he really gets it...

If not, ughh... Russia, you go and explain it to him.

Oh. I'm officially not mad at you anymore, France! Je t'aime!

Yours in Eternity, (Oops! Just finished a Vladimir Tod book.) 

"Hehe...I don't know about Sweden, Norge and Den never told me," Toni giggled. "I don't think out Ita-chan understands that quite yet, though..."

"Onhonhonhonhon~ I can teach him-"

"No!" Toni said, kicking France. "Italy is supposed to stay innocent, asswipe!"

"Fine~"

Toni looked slyly over at Prussia, grinning evilly. "You heard her...go."

Prussia sighed. "Do I have to?"

"Ja, you do. I shall summon up the mighty power of THOR-" she paused, and coughed, "Electric fences" into her hand before continuing, "To make sure you do NOT come back until that picture has been sent to everyone. And make sure to CC me so I can see the reactions, ja? DANKE."

So saying, Toni shoved Prussia out the door.

"And I'd rather not have Russia explain it to Ita, but..." Toni thought for a few seconds. "Oh! I'll have him make a recording so he doesn't bash in Italy's head when Ita-chan doesn't get it! And that way, Germany won't brutally murder both of us! I mean, being Prussia's girlfriend only goes so faar~"

So saying, Toni went to go find Russia.

~later~

Toni's phone buzzed, and she pulled it out of her pocket.

"Hei! Email!"

Swiping her fingers across the screen, she looked at the message; then burst out laughing.

"Mein gott! He looks like England when he was disguised as an Italian! Kese-hehe-"

Toni then continued rolling around laughing, only stopping to look at a new message from Germany.

"F*ck! Germany's coming over here!" Toni cursed. "Told you being Prussia's girlfriend only goes so far."


	91. Bururu 16

"Heh...I caved before then."

**Ve! This will probably be the last one of the night, seeing as it's 3:30 am  
where I am...**

But yet again, I might just give in to the temptation and write again. X3

But maybe not.  
Anyways, for me school starts in about **两 ****days. Two days...  
I'm doomed...  
But anyways, would France seduce a tree? If it looked pretty enough? And how  
exactly would the s-*CENSORED* work then?**

Poor Switzy, left alone for so long. That's why you will steal all his guns  
and ammunitions, as well as any knives. (EVERY. SINGLE. LAST. ONE.) And then  
run around his yard. While he watches. Oh but you can give sweet little  
Liechtenstein a gun, but she can't shoot it if it's only because her bruder  
told her to, she has to shoot on her entirely independent, free will. Switzy  
also isn't allowed to use Liechtenstein's gun for himself either.

I was wondering- if the enemy of you'd enemy is your friend, why don't you get  
along with Switzerland much, Prussia? I hear he has serious issues with  
Austria.

Have fun torturing Switzy!  
-Bururu 

Toni headdesked on the coffee table. "Don't talk to me about school. I start on Wednesday. I really don't want to..."

"Onhonhonhon~ I would put my ((censored)) into one of the knotholes of course!"

"Kese, have you met Switzerland? He doesn't get along with anybody! Except maybe Toni."

"And that's only because he has to!" Toni corrected. "Because I'm the Avenger-in-charge."

"You never let anybody forget it, chica," Spain complained. (Yes, he had returned.)

"And now we are going to steal Switzy dear's guns~!" Toni sang. "The actual stealing will not be shown, so I can't be blamed for inspiring people~!"

~One hour, four near-misses, and a crowbar later~

"He has...THIS many guns?"

"I expected a full arsenal!" Prussia complained.

"A walk-in closet full of guns is still a lot of guns!"

"Oui, oui," France said impatiently. "Can we go now?"

"Ja," Toni replied, putting the mask back down on her suit. "I can't believe he has this many, though..."

"Why did you bring that anyway?"

"Because! Obviously because it increases my strength!"

"Right, I've never thought of that," Prussia said sarcastically. Toni frowned and almost whacked Prussia before remembering that her arms were covered in metal.

"Let's just get out of here, and I'll pick the one we give to Liechtenstein."

~back at the house~

"Hey, Liechtenstein!"

"Ja, Miss Toni?"

"As part of an internet dare, I present you with this pistol. It belongs (or it used to belong) to your brother. Nobody can tell you when to shoot it, only you can. These are the rules."

Liechtenstein looked Toni up and down, and took the gun. "Challenge accepted."

Toni: o_o I'm going to go hide in my lab now...


	92. Soarra 3

"Wha- I did! I said they were awesome!"

**Heeeey! Prussia, you didn't watch Fiajela's female versions of your songs!****  
****They are REALLY good.****  
****Anyway, I have a dare for France and England. Have you ever heard off or seen****  
****VandettA's CMV Unistall? Well, in the bloopers the France and Iggy fight and I****  
****want them to re'enact that fight. I think that would be hallarious. By the way****  
****that fight starts 40 seconds into the video, Kay?****  
****I want Prussia to die his hair black, but not permanent. I think the white****  
****hair is badass.****  
****Spain... well he can put on a fake handlebar mustache. I must have pictures.****  
****8D****  
****And that's it! Bye!**

Toni grinned slyly. "Moustache~" she imitated Romano so convincingly that Spain jumped and looked around before realizing that Toni had spoken.

"Onhonhonhon~ Angleterre~ Would you like to see my impression of you?"

"Only if I can impersonate you, Frog," England deapanned.

"I like scones and I can't cook! And I'm a Brit!"

England sweatdropped angrily. "I look like a girl!" he said, raising his voice's pitch to an unusually falsetto level that made Toni turn bright red from trying not to laugh. "Golden Locks~"

France smirked. "The fight is on Angleterre."

He continued. "I'm A BRIT!" he yelled dramatically.

"I'm a frog!" England responded. Toni started holding her head. "It's like opposite-land...it makes my awesome brain hurt, gah!"

"Look at me, I'm a unicorn~"

England chucked a wooden spoon at France. He was conveniently cooking Toni her favorite sort of scones.

"Oh my god look at me! I'm England and I have friends here!" France said, swatting at the air randomly. England flushed angrily.

"My only way of fighting is to surrender!" he shot back. Toni made the required "oooh" ing noises.

"I'm gay!" France responded.

Toni grinned. "Course not, France, you're bisexual!"

Everybody deadpanned at Toni. She giggled. "That was too good to pass up, ok?"

She looked back at the email. "Aww. I like Prussia's hair too~"

"Was?"

Toni tackled Prussia and produced a packet of hair dye. "Doesn't mean I'm not willing to do it for a request, though~" she finished. "Here goes..."

Meanwhile, Spain had been looking at his moustache when Romano walked in. The Italian's jaw dropped.

"SPAIN! What are you doing with my secret weapon?"


	93. BTTFangirl14 11

"DOCTOR WHO IS AWESOMESAUCE AND DON'T QUESTION IT! JA!"

**THANK YOU! I HAD BEEN LOOKING FOR MY REVIEW! and i was starting to think that  
you lost it since your internet crashed but then i thought that u forgot about  
me. NOW I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME! I saw your review to me  
today so sorry this is late! I just realized you wrote that bad touch trio  
story where they have a kid yesterday. And I've also been writing my own fan  
fiction lately so HERE ARE SOME QUESTIONS/DARES!  
I dare France to go a full 72 hours without his "love"  
and also England apologize for what you did that put france through  
depression! if you haven't already (you know the whole burning france's  
girlfriend thing) I don't want a depressed France so don't let him read that  
part.  
England watch the video Don't call england during Doctor who or he'll kill you**

That's all I got DOCTOR WHO IS AWESOME! 

"...your story about what, Toni? Better start explaining, ahora," Spain said. Toni paled and hid behind Prussia.

"It's all his fault...he saw it on my iPad and never told you! And ja, I saw your review- it totally made my day, danke~"

"QUOI? 72 hours? Nooooonn!" France cried dramatically.

"Ja...he did," Toni said. "You know, after I made him a long time ago. But he did."

Toni pulled up the video on her tablet.

"Hey Iggy-land~ come watch this with me~"

"What?" England asked crossly.

"It's about Doctor Who!"

~a few minutes later~

"Oh god," Toni laughed. "It's so...I don't know...true!"

"Hey, the awesome me was in the background of that video!"

"Love you too, Preussen- England?"

England was staring blankly at the tablet.

"Sheisse, I think I broke his brain."


	94. Michigan 3

"Heh...I live here."

**Alright, boys. I get the picture. I thought that to France, amour is amour,  
even if it hurts.**

Also, I've noticed that France tends to be quite gentlemanly around  
Seychelles... Is she your daughter or something? 

"Non, I enjoy amour in all its forms," France explained. "It's just that la Prusse is more into that sort of thing than I am."

Toni was turning very pale and hiding behind her laptop.

"And oui, Seychelles was my colony, much like Amerique and Angleterre."

"At leadt he hasd the decency to resbect his colodies," Toni said.

"...what is wrong with your voice?"

"...dothing."


	95. Florida 5

"Huh...maybe I can try to change it? I'm not sure if it's even possible."

**Oh, we don't need that... I mean, having myself and Spain together is bad  
enough, but if you were to add Louisiana and France to that equation...**

Oh, and Toni? I don't think "Woman of Steel" has been taken yet. 

"Ja...that's why I held him back. He probably wouldn't have gotten off the plane anyway," Toni said, looking at France suspiciously. "Just fly around a lot. And I'm not even sure if it's that easy to change something like that. I'll ask onii-chan."

There was a scuffling sound from outside Toni's window. She sweatdropped.

"Dammit, Norge! Stop trying to convince Ice that calling you onii-chan isn't childish because I do it!" She ran out.

"Gotta hop, there's Nordics in my flower bed...and that's never been said before."


	96. Soarra 4

"Ja...unfortunately for me."

**OH COOL THE NORDICS ARE THERE! I love them as you can tell. 8D And sorry  
Prussia. I read really fast so sometimes I miss something and misunderstand  
something.  
For France, well I came up with this in the middle of the night after sending  
that last letter review thingy. I want you to listen to Fialeja's song  
"Eyebrows' WITHOUT laughing. And then sing it WITHOUT LAUGHING.  
As for mein most awesome country, I want you to knock on Switzerland's door  
and then remind him of the fact that you guys took ALL of his guns and then  
gave Liechtenstein one.  
I really like Spain and my brain is being lazy so I'm just gonna gove him a  
box of tomatoes. *hands*  
And Iceland has to say onii-chan to Norge. Yayz, Norge gets what he wants!  
Soarra **

Toni glared at the Nordics. "Look, I love you guys, but I draw the line at Norge stalking me to prove I call my brother onii-chan."

"Dude, this was totally Norway's idea!" Denmark said.

"Ja...nice try, dude, we all know this was your idea," Toni said. Norway nodded.

"I would never come up with something like this."

"Den..." Toni facepalmed. "For god's sake...well, then I guess you'll have to stay here for the ask."

"Ja, it's fine," Prussia said, examining a pack of skittles.

"To be honest, I talk too fast and think too quickly!" Toni said, smirking slightly. "Now go remind our dear Switzy-land what we did with his guns."

~At Switzerland's house~

"...What are you doing here, Prussia?"

"Heh~ Switzerland, you know what we did with your guns after we took them~?"

"Nein, and I'd rather not..."

"...this was Toni's idea, but we mailed them to her brother's friend in the army... she said, and I quote, 'the guns on his iron suit are lame and he needs new ones'. No lies, kesese~!"

Switzerland facepalmed. "Mein gott, not that Rhodes guy who was in the Stark Expo?"

"Ja, that's what she said."

Switzerland cursed in German and slammed the door. Prussia snickered and headed back.

~back at house~

France was desperately trying not to laugh.

"France. GO NOWS OR ELSE."

"Hehe- fine."

"Auuuh Eyebrows

Bauuuh eyebrows

It all began when a little boy with giant eyebrows was born to this earth

And he got the name England

As he then grew up he noticed he was all alone

and he was sad then

All he had was-" France paused to cough. "-big and smelly France.

Then one day when he was hot

And by hot I mean all grown up and sexy with his world war uniform

He had found and raised another boy

Which was lucky because France probably would've made him an ass.

Eyebrows, eyebrows

He was small when he was young

but now he's grown

America

And he's running very much

(I wonder where he's going)

Eyebrows, eyebrows

Playing airplane with a Brit who's not so entertained

Canada

And these lyrics don't make any sense

Just like England's eyebrows."

Right then, Prussia walked back in to find the others rolling on the floor laughing.

"...was?"

Toni jumped up.

"Mein gott, it was hilarious..."

"I missed it?!"

"Don't worry, mein liebe, we can watch it later," Toni said, putting her arm around Prussia. "Spain's already got his tomatoes, so Icey...as revenge for spying on me..."

Iceland looked at Toni.

"No way."

In an almost perfect imitation of Norway, Toni said, "Onee-chan~"

Denmark laughed.

"Oh, for god's sake- no-"

"Icey, it is the dare so you must say it. Norway is your what?"

Iceland sighed. "my onii-chan," he said quietly.

"Louder, Icey dear~"

"Sadist," Iceland muttered, before saying, "My onii-chan, ok? He's my freaking onii-chan. There."

Norway smirked.

"Tak, Toni~"

"Kese! Anytime, Norge. You guys willing to hang round here more often?"

"Yeah, sure!" Denmark said.

"Cool!" Toni said. "All right, there we go!"


	97. BTTFangirl14 12

"Yes, yes you did."

**OMG I BROKE IGGY! i'm sorry! well...  
1.I didn't get to see the apology so can that happen?  
! dress up as a pirate XD SMEXY!  
3. yes france no l'amour for 72 hours! go!  
4.I really like the doctor who song I requested  
5. CARAMELLDANSEN! i wanna see that XD  
6. have any of you seen the tik tok parody by midnight beast? love that song  
that is all**

Toni looked over at England. "I think he's mended now...Pirate!Iggy, mein gott..."

"Aww. Oui, but only because it's a request. If we don't do requests properly, Toni chases us with some sort of arme futuriste."

"That I do, and I love that Doctor Who song too!"

"I don't think I have," Toni said, sorting through her memory.

"She has a pretty good memory, so if she says she hasn't, she hasn't," Prussia supplied. Toni smirked and gave Prussia a kiss on the cheek.

"Carmelldansen, Preussen..."

Prussia sighed. "Do I have to?"

"Yes. Remember what happens if you don't do an ask properly~?"

"Ja, I do."

"Then go."

With a bit more convincing, Toni eventually got the Bad Touch Trio to do the Carmelldansen.


	98. Bururu 17

"Oh god, me too! Well, I actually start Wednesday..."

**School's Orientation day is tomorrow... /sobs quietly/  
/bursts out wailing/**

A-Anyways... I'll make sure to be awesome in History/Social Studies. (We don't  
learn anything social though... It's all just history or geography.) I'm  
aiming for an A, A- at the lowest! I WILL SUCCEED!  
After I started watching Hetalia, my grades were still good but the only one  
that went down is history. (However, it just changes to an A-... so I guess  
everything's still prettty good.) I thought it was supposed to go up though!

Prueßen... Go watch Buffy The Vampire Slayer for a few hours, get used to it.  
Then watch all the Twilight saga movies without bursting out laughing.  
Everybody else, you can stay for Buffy but you can skip out on Twilight if you  
want.  
Spain and Roma, I want you to have a tomato eating contest, and see who can  
eat the most tomatoes before getting sick of them. Like literally, puking them  
up or something.  
And Toni? Do you eat fish or do you count that as meat too?  
Ve Ooh, I dare Toni and Iggy-Artie-Eyebrows to eat French Onion soup! Made by  
France. And you must say it is better than all English food.

Dammit... Now I'm hungry...  
Fusohonkese!  
-Bururu 

"I SHALL WATCH BUFFY WITH YOU!" Toni declared, launching herself onto the couch. "I LOVES IT~ oh, and ja, fish counts. I..ehe..." Toni scratched her head. "I kind of lived in a bunker for most of my life, and meat was 'too perishable', so I never had any meat product, ja?"

~a few hours later, during Twilight~

Prussia had pinned Toni to the couch, saying, "If I have to die, liebe, you will die with me,"

And now both were screaming.

"OHMIGOD I'M A MELTING HEAD LIKE IN INDIANA JONES!"

"MEIN GOTT SHOOT ME PLEASE!"

"WE WILL DIE TOGETHER PREUSSEN!"

~with Spain and Romano~

It had literally been almost five hours and neither had caved- until a rotten one hit Romano's gag reflex. Spain claimed it as a victory, which caused Romano to curse profusely. Spain just smiled.

~with France and England~

"Bloody hell. Knowing him he probably poisoned it!"

"Oh, cool it Iggy-land," Toni snapped. "Do you think I'm happy about this?"

"Your tone of voice answered the question for me."

"For god's sake, eat the bloody soup so I can go," Toni said. She had already eaten a satisfactory amount, declaring it, "Better than most things, which may or may not include scones." England still refused.

"England, stop resisting now before I shove the bloody plate in your face."

"Fine," England muttered, eating some of the onion soup. "It...is...better than bloody British food, ok?" England said irritably.

"Sorry, what?" Toni asked sarcastically, holding a camera. England gave her the evil eye and stalked off. Toni snickered.

"I've still got videooo~"


	99. YagamiMisaki

"Ninety nine now...I've got something special for the 100th CHAPTERFEST!"

**Hi uhh, new here...read thought all 98 chapters. One confession: Prussia I  
love you!**

I have a question for you... there was a chapter where you said you are also  
into s&m though not much as your bro. So are you more on the M side or S side?  
Oh and can I get a hug from you as well?

Dares

France, get Pierre and Gilbird to hook up within 12 hours. You must make sure  
they get together but you can't interfere more than one time

Spain, dress up in your pirate uniform and go sadistic on lovi, demanding him  
to say that he love you.

Prussia, ( hope you don't mind but I quite  
like RusPru ) you will have to give Russia a bottle of vodka and drink with  
him till he's drunk then you can leave.

( I think I lack creativity... ) 

"Creativity is not a problem," Toni said. "These emails make my day~"

"You like torturing us?"

"Maybe~"

Prussia muttered, "Yandere."

Toni smirked. "Maybe."

"Kesese, S&M? That belongs to mein kleinen bruder, but not exclusively. I-"

he paused to look over at Toni. The had turned rather pale and was leaning over the sink.

"Stop staring and keep talking."

"Are you nosebleeding into the sink?"

"...no..."

"Right...well, I top. Does that explain it?"

Toni sneezed. "Fuck..."

"You're nosebleeding!"

"It's your fault! You gave me perverted Prussian genes!"

"Hugs are welcomed."

~With Spain and Romano~

_**Mein gott, I'm probably going to fail at writing Dominant!Spain. **_

"Romano~ Tell me that you love me~"

"Chigi! No, Tomato bastardo!"

"I can...convince youu..."

"The hell?"

Spain pulled out his sword.

"Fuck! Chigii! Fine, tomato bastardo...I fucking love you, just not when you're fucking creepy like this!"

"Gracias~"

~Meanwhile with France~

"MON DIEU, PIERRE. Have I not taught you properly? If you cannot seduce ze Gilbird, go for the other option, or Toni will kill me. s'il vous plaît?"

"Piyo piyo~"

~And finally...Prussia and Russia~

Toni was watching.

"Mein gott, how many bottles of Vodka has Russia gone through?" Prussia asked.

"Four," Toni responded, slurping her milkshake and scrolling through a document on her StarkPhone.

"Even my onii-chan can't do that."

Toni looked out the window and deadpanned, "I swear, use of that word, onii-chan, practically summons Norway from the space between the worlds."

"Onii-chan~"

"I knew it."

"Fuck!" Prussia exclaimed.

"Oh, mein gott..." Toni cursed. "NORGE!"

"I will punish, da?" Russia said, only slightly slurred. Toni jumped.

"God, no! I can take care of it by myself...and I think that is officially drunk, Preussen. LETS GO."


	100. 100TH CHAPTERFEST!

100th CHAPTERFEST!

Toni booted up her laptop, staring at the screen for a few sconds.

"Oi Den, get Preussen, Espana, and France in here." Denmark cocked his head.

"Why? What is it?"

"Nah, it's about their ask box."

"Oh. Fine." He left, and a few minutes later the Bad Touch Trio entered.

"Was ist los, liebe?"

"Well, we don't have an ask," Toni said. "But we have reached 100 chapters and over five thousand views!"

"Quoi? Pas du tout!" France exclaimed, looking at Toni's laptop.

"She is correct."

"Then what do we do to celebrate?" Toni asked, tapping her laptop. "I mean, we simply can't let this pass on by! I had no idea this would grow so quickly."

"None of us did," Prussia said.

"So then we have to celebrate!" Toni declared. "Stark style!"

Prussia, Spain and France smirked. Toni groaned.

"Perverts...I meant, 'In a big way with a lot of boom!', not that."

"Aw," France said. Toni rolled her eyes.

"But what I said still stands."

"How about you and Prussia-"

Toni frowned and punched France in the gut.

"Hey, I have an idea!" Prussia said. "Since we've been getting all the torture, why don't we torture her?"

"WAS?" Toni shrieked, jumping behind the couch. "No! This was not my idea, you begged for it!"

"True, but the reviewers love torturing us more."

"Reading my internet history is torture enough!" Toni said. "No."

"Oh, so when you get captured working, all they have to do is look at your internet history?"

"Nein!" Toni said, flushing. "It's only embarrassing with you guys!"

"Ok, ok, fine."

"Hey, Toni," came a voice from the doorway. Toni looked over.

"Oh, hey Norge."

"Are you busy?"

"Not really, why?"

"...England had a little problem..."

A little lightbulb went off in Toni's mind. "Oh! Shiz!" Toni cursed. "I'll be right back, guys."

France, Spain, and Prussia stared blankly after her aas she dragged Norway off to fix England's...problem. Whatever that was. She returned five minutes later with soot on her face and her hair sticking up.

"Don't ask questions."

The Bad Touch Trio stared, but Toni guided them back to the discussion.

"So what should we do?"

"I know!" Spain said. "We should-"

Toni's face lit up. "Hold that thought."

She ran off, dragging back in a small speaker with a screen.

"As my present to the fans- yes, I'm leaving you guys out of it!- I'm going to sing Mein Gott...IN JAPANESE."

"...seriously?"

"Seriously!" Toni said. "Here goes...

Dareka ga yonderu

Ore wo yondeiru

Ii ze makasetoke iku ze

Motto! Motto!

Higashi e nishi e to

Hashiritsuzukeru ze

Omae ga nozomu nara

Nadeteyaru

Sou sa tatakau shika nai nara

Yaru shika nai sa

Oresama saikou! Saikyou!

Saigo ni warau nowa Ja!

Oresama! Kimatta ze!

Danke!

Saijou! Saikyou!

Omaera tataete ii ze

Dekai yume miseteyaru

Rensen renshou gachi da ze!

Hitorikiri no heya

Kyou mo shitatameru

Oresama MEMORIARU kaku ze

Motto! Motto!

Kotori yo saepure ore no tame ni

Iyasareteyaru Niyo niyo!

Yabai shiawase wo yobu panda

Damasarenai ze

Oresama sanjou! Enjou!

Yaritai houdai amareu ze

Oyaji mitetekure!

Mein Gott!

Pinchi! Panchi!

Toki niwa mushaburui da ze

(...Kono gurai ni shiteyaru)

Kisei gyakuten asuru ze!

Subete no chizu itsukawa kono te ni...

Warainagara kakenukeru ze

Sou sa yowasa no sei janakute

Tsuyosugiru no sa

Oresama saikou! Saikyou!

Saigo ni warau nowa Ja!

Oresama! Kimatta ze

Danke!

Minna! Koi yo!

MEADO no togashite ii ze?

Hitori tanoshi sugiru ze

Kono te ni subete wo! Mattero!

Rensen renshou gachi da ze!

(Beobachten Sie es bitte, Fritz Vater

Beobachten Sie es bitte, Fritz Vater

Beobachten Sie es bitte, Fritz Vater)"

"...you are such a nerd."

"It sounds better in Japanese, doesn't it~"

"...maybe."

**DANKE FOR 100 CHAPTERS! You get a freebie of me singing Mein Gott (I love singing) and virtual Austria cake. This is a most momentous occasion~! **

**In other words, I'm proud to say this is my most popular story. Who doesn't love the BTT? XD**

**Awesome! **


	101. Bururu 18

"Ok, I'm at Austria's piano...France decided to come along, if you know what I mean."

"Was? France is here?"

"Heh he...no..."

**Well, I went to Orientation. Not too bad.  
Last day of summer vacation! DX**

I. Am. So. Excited. For. History!  
It didn't say it on the schedule, but apparently my History class is WORLD  
HISTORY! The room has a GIANT map and a poster with every flag on it.  
(However, no Prussia, Sealand, Kugelmugel, Seaborga, etc.)

I'm sorry to use you in my revenge plans Toni, but this has to be done.  
Go to Austria's house, dispose of all musical instruments but one piano, (it  
should be his favorite piano) and tell him what you did at his house.  
Now Toni. Situate yourself so you can face the keys and the inside of the  
piano. Have you done it? Good. Now make sure Austria is watching.  
Now read this:  
French Onion Soup is made with beef broth and has small traces of beef in it.

Sorry for using you like that, I just wanted to torture Austria and wreck his  
piano.  
Au revoir! (Désolé)  
-Bururu 

Toni immediately spewed on Austria's piano.

"Wait a minute...I didn't die, so...FRANCE WHAT DID YOU DO."

France popped up in the window.

"I made it soy!"

"MEIN GOTT, ICH LIEBE DICH FRANCE."

"You're welcome~"

Austria was really pissed off. Toni giggled.

"Let's get out of here, France?"

France agreed, dragging Toni away.

"That map..." Toni decreed later, "Is not awesome. I saw an un-awesome globe yesterday! Just like that. And you're lucky...History is one of my favorite subjects, and I don't have it this year!"


	102. Michigan 4

"...was not."

**I think she's having a nosebleed.**

Prussia... *whispers into his ear* I dare you to have sex with Seychelles in  
front of France.

Spain, whatever Prussia does is going to be videotaped by you.

As for France... You shouldn't have corrupted me. 

"MON DIEU!"

"Guys? What is-MEN GOTT! PRUSSIA!"

"You always say, Toni..."

"Wha-how-fuck, fine."

Spain's eyes were bleeding through the videocamera.

"France in the dress was worse," Toni said. "...Just don't, Preussen. NEVER AGAIN."


	103. Ukraine

"Ooooh," Toni said, pulling out her StarkPhone. "I'm going to love this."

**Ukraine:This oughta be good... Boys, I dare you to invite Hungary over. **

"Wha- Toni! No, don't call her-"

"Too late!" Toni mouthed at Prussia as she held the phone up to her ear. "Hello, Hungary...ja, I'm good. Doing anything specific today? ...no? Wanna come over? ...yes, this is a request. Yes, they're here. Yes, you can bring that. No, you may not. I'll keep him in line. Ok. Ja, we are- yes. Ok. Bye. See you in five, Hungary. Bye."

She hung up.

"I promised I'd keep you in line, Prussia, and in return she won't hit you with her frying pan. Ja? Good."

~fifteen minutes later~

"Hello? Toni?"

"Guten tag, Hungary."

"Oh god, it's you."

"Don't worry! Toni told me about your deal."

Toni raced in. "DON'T GET KILLED!"

"Oof!"

Toni glomped Prussia. "Hello Hungary~"

"Hi, Toni."

"Hey, while you're here I should apologize for getting so many dares to torture Austria~"

"Oh it's ok," Hungary said. She pulled out her frying pan with a manic glint in her eye. "As long as I get revenge~"

"FUCK!" Toni yelled, "MUSH PREUSSEN!"

"Why do I have to carry you!" Prussia exclaimed.

"Because I said so! NOW RUN!"


	104. Hawaii

"MEIN GOTT, HOW DO I ESCAPE?" Toni shrieked, tied up in a chair after Prussia found her phone with a new email on it.

***laughs evilly, knowing this is right up France's alley, but at the same  
time, wrong on so many levels***

Aloha, Toni. I am the State of Hawaii. I must warn you that having Japanese  
blood, I am quite perverted in my own right. In fact, I believe Japan is more  
of a pervert than the entire Bad Touch Trio COMBINED, and I am willing to  
prove it.

Dare 1: I dare France and Spain to tie Toni up and force her to watch any and  
all forms of American Superhero-based hentai, especially tentacle rape, which,  
of course, is Japanese in origin.

ALL HAIL KIKU HONDA, GOD OF PERVERTS!

- Lilo S. "Hawaii" Honda-Jones 

"S-Superhero hentai?" Toni asked. "Like...with my onii-chan? And his friends?"

"Ja."

"Fuck," Toni said.

"...isn't this the point where you usually nosebleed?"

"Actually, no, I only nosebleed over Hetalia."

"I see."

France returned with the video.

"...where did you get that?"

"Japan's 'Private' drawer," France responded. Toni's eyes widened.

"...Oh no! Mein gott! Somebody help mee!"

"HOLY SHIESSE!" Prussia yelled. He instinctively went to protect Toni's innocence, but France slapped him away.

"Fuck, that's my brother!" Toni screamed. "GOD WHY IS CAP UKE? SUPERHEROS ARE NOT ON BOTTOM."

"Ok, that's it, I'm turning this off before we scar her mind forever and her brother kills us," Spain said.

"Danke..." Prussia agreed.

"That...is the most perverted thing I've ever seen," Toni said. "Japan is now god of perverts, Sorry France."

"Aw~"


	105. BTTFangirl14 13

"Kesese~ I'm so happy I made it this far, too!"

**CONGRATS ON 100 CHAPTERS! I WILL EAT THE CAKE WITH PRIDE! and u saw my review  
on your other story! thanks for responding! the reason why u can't PM me is I  
disabled it. Which you probably know by now.  
how do you get your fanfictions so popular? i'm having trouble with mine. I  
wrote one for ouran and not doing so well...I keep writing though! got any  
advice?  
2. () the caramel dance made my day! thank you!  
3. are you accepting reviewers to be guests on the story? just wondering if  
you are  
4. NOW FOR AUSTRIA TORTURE! J I dare you guys to hold Austria's piano hostage,  
demand he give you tickets to your favorite bands/singers, and if he doesn't,  
tell him I will be ready with a pipe/frying pan combined! and it will meet a  
blowtorch J (I felt really creative today...and it sounds kinda funny) AND  
YESSSS! MEIN GOTT SUCH AN AWESOME SONG! that is all! **

"Huh. Honestly, I have no idea," Toni said. "I just wrote this and lots of people liked it! This is my most popular story by a million light-years. All my others have next to no reviews and under 1500 hits. I don't know what the secret is! And hm," she said, giving it some thought. "Maybe...I don't know. I'm kind of new to this," she admitted, blushing. "This is my first 'dares and stuff' story. I kind of make this up as I go, heh heh."

"Kesese~ Austria torture!" Prussia declared, high-fiving Toni.

~Half an hour, a crowbar, and one lame version of "Chopsticks" later~

"Stop playing with the hostage, Toni!"

Toni looked up from the piano. "Why not? My 'father'-" she threw in air quotes around "father"- "Didn't make me learn to play this so that I could forget it a few years later!"

Austria kicked in the door, holding an ax.

"Where did you get that ax?"

"None of your business, now give me back my piano annoying Prussians!"

"Tickets to The Decemberists," Toni demanded.

"Aren't they America's band?"

"You're the musical one," Toni said, shrugging.

Austria snorted. "Oh, fine."

"JA!" Toni cheered.

"Hey, what about our favorite bands?" Prussia asked.

"What about them?" Toni responded. Spain headdesked.


	106. Soarra 5

"Heh heh...of course I find it entertaining."

**Hullo guys! I had orientation today. I think out of everyone who reads this  
story I was the only who was excited about it. But that's because it was my  
first time seeing my middle school. XD Yeah ** I'm only 11. I'm really excited  
for history and drama.  
Time for dares! I want France to show Iggy 'Eyebrows' and see if he slaps the  
frog.  
I want to know what Spain thinks of Romano in RomaHeta. Ive always thought  
that he and Italy look badass.  
And my country... You have to watch a marathon of Dora. That should  
entertaining.  
I hope you enjoy this Toni!  
Soarra **

"This is my first year in high school," Toni said, blushing. "And it's really...terrifying? I was homeschooled for a pretty long time."

France had already stolen Toni's laptop.

England: ಠ_ಠ dafaq

Then England punched France and left.

Toni watched the video with Spain on her iPad.

"This video gives me a headache..."

"Look! It's Roma~!"

"Holy shit, that does look badass."

~five hours later~

"Save- meee, bitte Toni..."

"Oh, fine. Come watch Avengers with me."

"Danke!"


	107. Bururu 19

"Um..."

**School starts tomorrow, it's already 11:30pm where I live, and I can't go to  
sleep.  
Too jittery. DX**

I need help... wish Austria would come to school with me... then I could drag  
him away from the Music room and make him go through torture with me. Please  
send him. In a box. A very small box.

Germany and Prussia, start TOP RAVING! (It's a nigahiga thing... And kevjumba  
thing)  
NOW!

I know Prusse will probably enjoy it, but Germamy... take a picture for me  
cher Toni won't you?

Calm... Calm... ACK I'M GOING TO PANIC! /hyperventilates/  
Listen to calming Celtic music, then French Chanson in the morning...

'Kay. When I message again, it'll either be in the morning, or if I feel too  
panicked I'm probably gonna message in after school.  
Calm... Calm... Panic...  
B-Bur-ruru...

"We will be very happy to ship Austria away in a small box," Prussia declared, grinning evilly.

Toni matched his grin. "Heck Yeah we will!" she said. "You can take him anytime."

"Hm? Bruder? He's not here right now, unfortunately," Prussia said disinterestedly.

"Kese~" Toni snickered. "He's currently having a...ahem...'chat' with America, about a little bit of action that went down at his place, instigated by the adopted family of yours truly...if you've seen the Avengers movie, you'll know what I'm talking about. He hasn't had enough time to chew America out before now. That moment when I'm glad I wasn't there~"

"You never want to be chewed out by Deutschland, trust me liebe."

"Panic with me, my onii-chan is being so overprotective! He called me, like, forty times already!"

"Onii-chan~"

"Oh, for fuck's sake, NORWAY! GOD DAMMIT!" Toni exclaimed, jumping out the window and into the bushes. "I know that I've somehow summoned you, so get out of my bushes and-"

Her voice was cut off as France slammed the window shut to save Spain's innocence. Or whatever's left of it, anyway.


	108. Kharissa

"Hm...a long one. Here goes...it is almost midnight, but we'll do our best."

**Hello everyone! *eats pancakes* I have a few dare for you, and some questions!  
First, noreway I dare you to stop randomly popping up when Toni says  
onee-chan. second, I dare Prussia to kiss Toni for three minutes straight  
while everyone (Including the nordics, england and london) are watching. I  
dare france to steal all of germany's wurst and not give it back until germany  
WILLINGLY hands over his secret ** collection. Spain, I dare you to play  
through all the levels of Silent hill and not freak out, then play Slender and  
not freak out.**

Questions! Prussia, if you had the chance which country would you remove from  
the face of the earth in order for your awesome empire to rise again? France,  
have you ever gotten suck a massive nosebleed that you passed out? Spain, if  
you could choose any nation that has not been a former colony to be your new  
colony, who would it be? Everyone (Except toni) if you had superpowers, what  
would they be? See ya later! Oh, and Prussia... through the powers of dares, I  
dare you to go beat the sh*t out of russia with him doing nothing to stop you  
and no consequences after, meaning that even if he reviews he can do nothing  
to hurt you. See ya, and have fun ;) 

"Oh god THANK YOU for attempting to stop Norway from randomly appearing whenever I mention my onii-chan-"

"Onii-chan~"

"Fuck! Norway, didn't you hear the dare?"

"No, becausee I wasn't here until you summoned me."

"Wha-oh, I give the fuck up. Read the letter."

She handed Norway her laptop.

"I see."

"Please stop doing that, Norgie, please? I don't need creepiness every time I try and talk about my brother."

"Fine."

France threw a box of Wurst at Toni, which she barely dodged before it landed on the coffee table.

"FRANCE! God dammit! You guys are going to get me killed, one way or another..."

"Kesesese~! Three minutes straight? If you insist..."

Toni flushed, and shoved a tissue up her nose. "...I don't mind," she said quietly.

France grinned. "I shall fetch your audience, oui?"

"...is three minutes even possible?"

"I have no idea..."

...it was definitely possible.

~later (A.K.A, when Toni stopped bleeding and Denmark stopped laughing)~

"Hm, basically, who would I kill?" Prussia said. "I don't actually know. I mean, I don't like Austria, but I wouldn't kill him. I can't say I wouldn't kill someone to be my own awesome empire again," he continued, looking down. "Maybe...Belarus? I don't know. It might stop Russia from trying to kill me."

"...do you have a death wish, mien Preussen?" Toni asked.

"...maybe."

"Oh! Oui, I have. It was that one time, when Angleterre-"

England tackled France.

"The fans do NOT need to hear about that, frog!"

"Onhonhonhon~"

Spain looked up from his game of Slender, shaking. "I...um...perhaps America's brother, what's his name? He seems rather sweet."

"Canada," Prussia and Toni chorused. Prussia gave Toni a strange look, and she turned bright red.

"I...I lived by Niagara falls for a while, ok?"

"All right," France said, giving Spain a suspicious glance. "My superpower would be the power to read minds! So I would know who to spread amour to, Onhonhonhon~!"

"The power to grow plants!" Spain said. "More tomates!"

"Kesese~! The awesome power of super speed, of course!"

"Ok that's it- no, wait, theres one more. Here you go, Prussia...happy birthday, liebe."

"Was?" Prussia took the laptop and his eyes widened. "MEIN. GOTT. DANKE. REVENGE TIME."

And with all the witnesses? Nobody questioned it when Russia had a black eye and was rather pipe-happy the next day.


	109. Bururu 20

"Ugh, join the club. I coughed up an unmentionable before school today."

"You WHAT?"

"I told you! I don't want to say it again!"

**Salut.  
/goes to puke in Austria's piano/**

Désolé. It's just... school bus comes to my street in an hour. I think I'm  
going to be sick, I'm so BLOODY NERVOUS.  
So, in my nervous state of panic, I decided that you. All. Go. Down. WITH ME.  
Prussia, do algebra drills for six hours. Spain, do Mandarin practise for six  
hours. France, write a twenty page essay on anything of your choosing. You're  
the only one who can finish early.  
Toni, England, London, twenty five page essay comparing the events of the  
American Civil War and today; describing the argument of who should have more  
power. In general, states' rights versus federal power?

I'm sorry. I'm in a panicked state. I'll most likely try to fix it later with  
some awesome dare.  
-Bururu

P.S: Denny you're most likely laughing your as.s off right now so go memorise  
the periodic table of the elements. I don't want you to stop until you can  
draw every single little detail. Yay, you put a smile on my face just thinking  
about it! Norway for being good and stopping with the Onii chan thing I won't  
bother you.

"No!" Toni exclaimed. "I have math homework!"

"...how long will that even take you?"

"About five minutes," Toni admitted. "But then I have a riding lesson."

"Oh, fine, we'll do it," London said, dragging England upstairs.

"I never agreed to this! London!"

Toni snickered. "Take my old Algebra workbook, Preussen...and here's the Chinese textbook they gave us for class, Spain."

"Danke...I think."

"Gracias, I suppose."

"Noww...go!"

Denmark looked up from his- wait for it- beer, and stopped laughing. "WAIT. HOW DID SHE KNOW."

"You're not that hard to figure out. Since you are in the dare it MUST HAPPEN."

"Fine. Where do you keep the periodic-table-of-whatevers?"

"Lab. There's a big poster, just take that down and go." Toni pointed down the hall, taking out her Geometry textbook and putting on her headphones.

"Fuck, I hate math."


	110. BTTFangirl14 14

"All right guys...take a break from studying," Toni giggled. "We have another one."

"MEIN GOTT DANKE."

"Mon dieu! I was having fun with this Sex Ed paper!"

Toni facepalmed. "Why did I expect anything else?"

**Hmm *listening to mein gott* "the awesome me's the most supreme the strongest!  
the one who gets the last laugh yeah! DANKE! the best! the most fearsome! you  
guys can praise me now! *skips some * alone in my room i'll write it today too  
a memorial of the awesome me MOTTO MOTTO!' *stops singing* oh did you guys  
hear that? I SANG THAT FOR THE AWESOMENESS THAT IS THE AWESOME PRUSSIA! I have  
some questions/dares  
1. I'm probably gonna die from this but, *jumps on Russia's shoulders* ONWARD  
CREEPER!  
2. I dare spain to sing the delicious tomato song  
3. France, has the dare I gave you been completed yet?  
4. CAN I HIT AUSTRIA WITH RUSSIA'S PIPE?! J ALSO AUSTRIA I DEMAND MY CHEMICAL  
ROMANCE TICKETS! DO IT OR DIE DA? J wow i'm in a Russia mood today  
5. I dare btt, Austria, hungary, and Toni to listen to the BTT's marukaite  
chikyuu and tell what you think  
BYEZ! ALSO BEFORE I FORGET! TONI are you excepting guests in the story? **

"One day everything will be in these hands..." Toni began, giving Prussia a sideways look.

"I'll laugh as I run through..." he picked up.

"That's right, it's not because I'm too weak~" Toni sang.

"It's because I'm too strong!" They both chorused.

"JA!" Prussia and Toni cheered, high fiving.

Russia commenced the Kols and pulled out his pipe.

"You will not die, but do not do that again, da?"

"...right," Toni said, moving location to the other side of the room. "Spain. Go. You. Now."

"Que? Fine."

"...this is Romano's song...?" Toni said.

"FINE."

"No, I'm saying, ROMANO GET THE FUCK IN HERE UNLESS YOU WANT TO DIE PAINFULLY!"

"...what?"

Romano looked in. "What is it, Iron Girl Bitch?"

"I have a present for you. You may videotape what the tomate bastard is about to do, and use the footage however you'd like~"

"...fine."

Toni grinned and handed Romano a video camera.

"Now you can start, Spain."

"("Hey, Spain! We were able to harvest a hell of a lot of tomatoes again this year, jackass!")

Buono! Tomato, buono! Tomato

Buono buono, ooh! Tomato!

Red on the bottom and green on the top, toma- toma- tomato! Hmph!

There are tomatoes in my pasta!

And tomatoes on my pizza!

My charming red treasure, how I love tomatoes!

But

Wurst and potatoes are heretical things!

My brother eats them and just gets more- more- and more macho!

What is a Napolitan doing with Japanese cooking, you traitor!

"Aaaah!

It's France! Protect me, God damn bastard!"

("Don't leave me alone with that son of a bitch!")

I'll give you another one! I'll give you a beautiful one!

Eat a delicious tomato and come dance with me!

(Amore![1])

Buono! Tomato, buono! Tomato

Buono buono, ooh! Tomato!

Ci Vediamo[2]! Ah, Romano!

I'm South Italy!

"Aaah... I'm starving! But this isn't close to over, hell!"

Buono! Tomato, buono! Tomato

Buono buono, ooh! Tomato!

Red on the top and green on the bottom, toma- toma- tomato! Hmph!

Spain brought some! He brought some from America!

My country's national treasure, how I love tomatoes!

But

This isn't just for reciting words of love

The wine glass in his hand is always twink- twink- and twinkling

And when I was an adorable kid back, when I was ignored, that dick!

"AAAAAAAAAH!

God damn it! I'm always the one being targetted!"

("Spain, you bastard, come rescue me already!")

Buono tomato, buono!

Tomato buono buono, ooh! Tomato!

The Mediterranean Sea too! O sole mio![3]

I'm South Italy!

I may not be useful with chores

And brother may be better with art and trade

And sometimes I may be as dumb as a bird

But I...! But I...! CHIGIIIIIIII-!

Buono! Tomato, buono! Tomato

Buono buono, ooh! Tomato...

(Buono! Tomato, buono! Tomato

Buono buono, ooh! Tomato!)

Buono! Tomato, buono! Tomato

Buono buono, ooh! Tomato!

(Buono! Tomato, buono! Tomato

Buono buono, ooh! Tomato!)

Uno・Due・Tre・Dai![4]

I'll give you another one! I'll give you a beautiful one!

Eat a delicious tomato and come dance with me!

(Amore!)

Buono tomato, buono!

Tomato buono buono, ooh! Tomato!

Ci Vediamo! Ah, Romano!

I'm South Italy!"

The colors Romano was turning were heretofore unheard of.

"Hmph. You butchered my song, tomato bastardo. But at least I have blackmail footage."

"Pleasure doing business with you, Roma~"

"Don't call me that, bitch!"

"Quoi? Oui."

"Austria has been shipped away in a small box!" Toni declared. "But here you go, I got them anyway~"

"Oh, ja, our Marukaite Chikyuu~"

"You have a MKC?"

"Oui~"

"STFU AND PLAY IT."

~a few minutes later...~

"Kese~ Chaotic, I guess. But it fits them~"

"Are you implying something, liebe?"

"No~"

"Right..."

"Guests...ja, I guess so."


	111. Ukraine 2

"Oh, SHIT."

**Ukraine:...And now the fun begins. Prussia, I dare you to strip and sing "I'm  
Sexy and I Know It". Spain, grab Romano and engage in a vicious kissing match.  
France... just be yourself. Hungary? Get your cameras ready.**

Oh, and someone get Toni a few vials of blood... She's going to need it. 

Hungary held up her video camera to Spain and Romano, while Toni held a lab test tube under her nose.

"When I walk in the spot (yeah), this is what I see (ok)  
Everybody stops and they staring at me  
I got passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it, show it, show it, show it,"

"Now I remembered why my nose gets stuffy at night," Toni said, exchanging the vial for a new one. "How long before I pass out? Hungary?"

"I dunno," Hungary said, zooming in. "At this rate, you'll probably survive the song."

"Onhonhonhon~"

"SHUT UP AND LET ME NOSEBLEED, FRANCIS."


	112. Hawaii 2

"ERMAHGERD HERD."

"What..."

**:...And that is why Kiku acts so calm and gets embarrassed so easily: He's  
hiding the fact that he's so perverted. In fact, he can't help it sometimes,  
and as you saw, it's both genders that he uses. *hands Toni the dirtiest  
Hetalia doujinshi Japan has ever made, complete with... more tentacle rape and  
excessive Hero abuse***

((OOC: - Otherwise known as excessive torturing of America. Hawaii says it's  
Japan's way of getting revenge for the atomic bombs dropped on Hiroshima and  
Nagasaki, but she doesn't really believe that's the reason.))

"Fuck! Get it off of me before I catch France-itis!" Toni shrieked, jumping up.

"I am not contagious!" France complained.

"How do I know that?" Toni asked in a suspenseful voice, hiding behind the couch. "Quickly! Since France is already infected he can give it to Hungary."

"I'M NOT A DISEASE!"

"We don't know that," Toni said ominously. "Go. Quickly!"


	113. Florina of Iilia

"God dammit! SORRY!"

"What are you talking about?"

**(I think you missed my first review for the dare for the BTT back in chapter  
90 ._. Anyway, hopefully you don't mind if I repost it again?)**

Oooh, this looks like fun! :D Bad Touch Trio FTW!

Well, I guess I gotta pull dares, so...

I'll go easy on Prussia and Spain! Sorry France, but you're going to get a  
pretty bad dare. I don't hate you, honest! Its just that I like Prussia and  
Spain more than I like you, no offence. You're still in my top 5 favourite  
characters, though.

Anyway, you two, mind cooking something for me? Or just go and bother Toni or  
Germany? Also, I request a hug from Spain! XD

Now for France...

I dare you to kidnap Latvia from Russia's house and bring him to my house! And  
then cut all his sunflowers and break all his bottles of vodka. After that,  
you gotta stay in Russia's house for 6 hours. You're allowed to bring one  
thing to try to fend off Russia.

You DO know who Latvia is, right? The adorable Baltic? :D

Also, Toni, mind recording France's dare, or like, sticking a camara on him so  
you don't have to be near Russia? Also, if France succeeds in doing his dare,  
I dare England to be France's servant for a week! *smile* And England can't  
complain, or he's got to serve France for another week! And another week after  
that if he complains again, and so on...

(By the way, congrats on 100 chapters!) 

"ERMAHGERD SERRY," Toni said, headdesking. "It's getting hard to keep track of how many I get! I'd like for the guys to respond ASAP, but we can't always. This was bound to happen. SERRY ERGERN."

"Why do you talk like that?"

"BERCERSE ERT'S ERMAHGERD."

"Oook."

~a few minutes later~

Toni looked up from her laptop.

"Spain? Preussen? I know you're lying in wait. What the hell are you going to-AH!"

Prussia lunged out from the hall, dressed up in some...eh..._interesting_ clothes.

"Dammit, Prusse!" Toni exclaimed. "Where did you find Thor's- oh, fuck it, you're never going to say."

"Fusosososo~"

"Oh fuck, let me guess, he's Loki?"

"How did you know?"

"You have to wake up pretty early to fool a Stark," Toni replied proudly.

Spain lunged out from behind Toni. She jumped, and fell to the ground.

"Kesesese~! Toni? Toni?"

Prussia looked down at Toni. "Fuck...Spain, take her bandages off."

The reactor underneath was still glowing, so Prussia opted for CPR (because he's Prussia.)

Toni smirked and kissed him back.

"Haha," she snickered as she pulled away. "Told you you've gotta wake up earlier, Preussen~"

~meanwhile with France~

"MON DIEU! Is that a mace?"

"Da. And it will smash your skull in for breaking my vodka and sunflowers."

"mondieumondieumondieumondieu ..."


	114. Soarra 6

"Danke~"

**Om nom nom*eats bacon spagetti* Well, Toni I wish you good luck with  
highschool. I have a friend who's homeschooled and I think she would be kinda  
nervous 'bout going to school too. You know what's funny? In one of the fic's  
I've read, where all the countries had powers, and the power Spain had was to  
control plants. I don't know about you guys, but I found that kinda funny.  
Dares! So Prussia. have you heard the song Labyrinth by Oomph!? I'm assuming  
you have 'cause it's originaly in German and it's the type of music you'd  
like. Well, I want you to watch this video called Italy's Labyrinth and see if  
you come out of it NOT scarred mentally.  
ANYBODY WHO IS NOT FRANCE DO NOT READ HIS DARE. THANK YOU.  
I dare France to inform every nation involved of the pairings USUK, Spamano,  
FrUK, PruCan(also Toni), GerIta, and DenNor. These are the ones I can think of  
on the top of my head.  
I want Spain's opnion on HetaOni and the fanart for it.  
BYE! Soarra **

"Bacon spaghetti?" Toni asked. "Sounds nasty. But I'm vegetarian~"

"That has been confirmed."

"Oh, shut up, France."

"Si! Of course! Because I love mis tomates~!"

~while Toni, Prussia, and Spain were watching the video...~

France snuck out. "Onhonhonhon~ cell phone time~"

"Dude, this is the hero!"

"Amerique! Have you heard of USUK?"

"Dude, what?"

"Onhonhonhon~ It's when people think that you and Angleterre- _**blocked for extreme France-ness**_"

"EWW...FRANCE!"

"Onhonhonhonhon~"

"Angleterre!"

"What do you want, Frog?"

"Have you heard of USUK? Or FrUK, onhonhonhon~"

"Bloody hell, not this again!"

England then hung up.

"H-Hello?"

"Mon petit!"

"O-Oh! Bonjour, papa."

"Oui, have you heard of PruCan?"

"Non."

"Well, see, mon petit, this is when the fans say that you and Prusse-"

"Mon dieu! I think I know where this is going!"

"Oui, you probably do~ Au revoir, mon petit."

"J'taime, papa!"

(Since France knew that Toni and Prussia already know what PruCan is, he skipped over them.)

"Hallo, France..."

"Ah! Bonjour, Germany! So I am calling to inform you of this wonderful thing known as GerIta, in which you and Italy-"

"Ve~! Big brother France!"

"Bonjour, Italy!"

"What were you telling Doitsu, big brother France~?"

"Mein gott! Don't tell italy, or I swear I'll-"

(chopped short here for adult content and violence.)

"Onhonhonhon~! DenNor?"

"...go away, France..."

"Have you heard of it?"

"Ja, and I'd rather not hear of it again..."

"You're no fun, Norway~"

"At least I'm not a pervert."

~back at house~

"Ehe...Spain is currently hiding in my lab, so he can't answer that," Toni said, holding a flashlight and a Plushie of Prussia.

"Oi! Awesome girlfriend! Cmere!" Prussia called from another room.

"Right, right...where was he hiding?"

"Under that table with your bruder's thingy on it."

"Oh, ja~"


	115. Bururu 21

"PRUSSIA WE HAVE A PROBLEM."

"What, liebe?"

**S-salut...**

I guess today wasn't too bad. I've lost almost all contact with my Hetalia  
fans at at school unfortunately.  
I might be going to China as a field trip though aru! Major heritage, here I  
come!

Now, here's my dare, I hope you'll enjoy it!  
Russia and Austria must stay in a very small box. A cardboard one. And  
everybody else, you may beat the box with metal pipes as much as you want. Oh,  
you can also drop a piano on it. Multiple times.  
Replace EVERYTHING musical or fancy at Austria's home with punk-rocker stuff.  
That includes clothes, walls, ceiling, lights, EVERYTHING.  
Oh and I heard Gilbird is a spy for Russia, that spies on Prussia then reports  
back to Ivan. Better watch out, Prueßen.

The only way Gilbird can maybe prove his innocence is by giving Russia lots  
and lots of fatal injuries. Maybe.

Have fun!  
-Bururu 

"ERMAHGERD GERBERD."

"Stop doing that! Hey, Gilbird!"

"Piyo piyo?"

"Cmere. I want you to do something for me, ja?"

"Piyo!" Gilbird flew over to Prussia. Toni glared at the little bird suspiciously.

"Kay, Gilbird," Prussia said. "Toni's going to kidnap Russia and Austria and put them in a small cardboard box-"

She was already gone.

"-when she returns with the box, you must help us hit the box. Gut? Ja?"

"Piyo!" Gilbird cheered, flapping up and down. Toni appeared in the door with a cardboard box the size of a large dog crate.

"Happy early birthday, Gil~"

"Awesome!" Prussia cheered. There was a sound of Koling from inside the box, and Belarus appeared in the window.

"Onii-chan...Onii-chan...onii-chan, Russia..."

"Fuck!" Toni shrieked. "Norwayy! How do I summon you! I permit you to be summoned! I need a hand here!"

Gilbird flew viciously at the box, pecking it. The koling inside intensified.

"Das mein Vögelchen, Gilbird!"

"Piyo!" Gilbird chirped angrily, dive bombing the box again. Toni sighed.

"Another day living with Nations..."

"Let me out of here!" Austria yelled.

"Fuck..." Toni complained. Then her eyes widened. "Oh fuck. EVERYBODY SHUT THE HELL UP! GILBIRD! Stop dive bombing Russia and Austria for five minutes! BELARUS! Tear your eyes off the box and listen. GIL! Pay attention!"

Everyone stared at Toni.

"Listen, I just remembered...my onii-chan is visiting today to check up on me! And the others are coming too! If they see this I'll be kicked off nation security for sure!"

Prussia's jaw dropped. "That's today?"

"Yes!" Toni opened up the box. "Russia, Austria, be good! Belarus! Don't try and kill them or else! SPAIN! FRANCE!"

"Que?"

"Quoi?"

"I need you to be good for a while. Seriously, otherwise I'll be taken off assignment. Kay?"

"Oui."

"Si."

"Mein gott!" Toni exclaimed. "We'll have to wrap this up now."

"That we do," Austria said annoyedly.

"...just be your prissy self," Toni muttered.


	116. Russia 15

"Oh SHIZNUTS. We are in deep, deep shit."

"What? Why?"

"Guess who has returned..."

**Why are all of the reviewers being so mean...  
Oh well, I will punish to make up for it, da?**

Spain, you and France have to start eating each others flesh until one of you  
faints from blood loss.

Prussia, you must stay in the washer while it is on for 3 loads. And try not  
to drown, da?  
Because afterwords you get to hung from hooks by your ears only on a  
clothesline until your ears rip off

England, I have a cupcake for you  
*Hands pink cupcake*  
You have to eat it. In less then 1 minute. All of it  
Do not ask where it came from, or you will die, da?

London, stick your hand in a blender. With blades. Toni can pick out of these  
two, da?  
*hands 1 very blunt saw toothed blade and 1 very sharp large blade.

Toni, look up *hangs piano above her on thread* 

"OH FUCK!" Toni shrieked, dodging the piano. "I don't think I can handle this on my own...I'll have to call in the cavalry. Wait here, guys."

Toni ran upstairs, holding her StarkPhone and calling, "Oh Onii-chan~"

The conversation was vaguely heard by the nations listening in the basement.

"Onii-chan~"

"What, you only use that tone when you want something, kid."

"Ok, this is really serious. Here, remember I told you I was doing that thing with Prussia, Spain, and France?"

"Yes...?"

"Look at what Russia sent us!" Toni exclaimed. There was silence.

"...I need to talk to Natasha about how disturbing her country is."

"You do, but my friends are going to die because if we don't Russia will come and use his faucet pipe of doom on us!" Toni said in one breath.

"Cool it, kid. I'll have Natasha go and...pay him a visit."

"Just threats. I don't want to lose this assignment, onii-chan, I love it so much..."

"I know, kid. You won't. And if you do, it'll be over my dead body, ok?"

"You...are possibly the best onii-chan in history."

"I know."

Toni slid back down the carpeted stairs on a silver serving platter, hopping off at the bottom.

"I've cleared that up," She declared, sitting down on the couch.

"Did you set the Avengers on Russia?"

"Not entirely," Toni responded evasively. "Only one of them. And besides, I'm pretty sure my onii-chan would hunt Russia down and kill him, nation or not, if he ever hurt me in any way."

"I see what you meant by 'he's so overprotective'," Spain said.

"Nah...just attached to me~"


	117. Ukraine 3

"Um...um."

**Ukraine:I wonder if Hungary also likes yuri... After all, England just botched  
another spell and turned the entire Western Hemisphere (except for himself,  
his brothers, Spain and France) into girls. That means the North America  
Triplets (America, Canada and Mexico), all of Central America, all of South  
America, the Caribbean, Iceland and Portugal.**

France, now that your lover is a girl, what are you going to do?

*hands Hungary a picture of Australia and New Zealand kissing madly* I found  
this in Belarus' house...

"Icey...is a girl. MEIN GOTT I HAVE TO GO SEE THAT," she said, taking off out the door.

"Quoi? My lover? I have many, you will have to be more specific, cher."

Hungary printed the picture off of Toni's laptop frantically, then took off out the door screaming, "HEY JAPAN! YOU GOTTA SEE THIS!"

"...the hell was that?"

Toni ran back in. "OMG ICEY AS A GIRL SO KAWAII~"

"Hey Toni, does Hungary like yuri?"

"Huh? Not to my knowledge. Male Hungary does, though. He'll be having a field day~"


	118. Soarra 7

"And another..." Toni said, looking up from her laptop. "These just keep coming."

"Onhonhonhonhon~"

"Oh, shut it."

**Hey Toni? I'm curious. How mentally scarred was Spain? And I'm very sorry  
Spain. You weren't really mean't to see that. I'm so glad that school starts  
next week. I sorta do and don't want to go back to school. XD  
Ok... France, my mom thinks you look like a girl. What do ya think of that?  
England can be informed of this fact.  
Spain, what do you think of you and Romano's 2p selves?  
Prussia, do you believe in the theory that Holy Rome is Germany? I've been  
wondering about that for a long time.  
Sorry I don't have any dares. My brain is being stubborn and not going into  
Russian mode-the more torture creative part of me.  
Soarra **

"Meh. You know, he's Spain," Toni said, shrugging. "He's innocent, so he scars easily, ja?"

"Quoi? Une fille?"

"Hahahah~ Frog~"

"I've never seen England that happy," Toni commented.

"Ja, the new Doctor Who came out," Prussia explained.

"Oh. That makes sense," Toni said.

"Que? 2P?" Spain said. Toni jumped in.

"2P Spain is a perv who tried to start an Orgy party in my closet~"

"Que, that was my question, Toni! But si, it is true."

"HOLY ROME IS TOTALLT GERMANY WITH AMNESIA!" Toni cheered. Then, seeing the look Prussia gave her, she hid under her desk.

"I want to believe," Prussia said half-jokingly. Toni smirked.

"Been spending to much time with me watching X-Files, have we now Preussen~?"

"Nein~"


	119. Romania

Toni's StarkPhone rang, and Prussia pivoted the phone in his hand, unlocking it and reading the email.

"Why did she leave this at home? Meh, she probably forgot it. I can tell her about the new dare when she gets back-"

He sweatdropped.

"Mein Gott."

***sees chapter 63* O.O *sees chapter 71* (flames in his eyes) (chapter 72) *Stabs the wall with a knife* (chapter 108) *screeching out every Romanian profanity known to mankind* GIL YOU ARE SO DEAD! In case you've forgotten me this is Romania. You know the guy with blonde hair, red eyes and a mini-top hat that you grew close too during our time after WWII when we were forced to live with Russia. Iron curtain! Ring a bell!? It should, because you broke your promise to me! You promised that once we were independent again you'd marry me! I've been independent for a long time now but I haven't seen you in ages! Now I track you down and I find you cheating on me with a HUMAN! UNFORGIVABLE! Now I demand you come over immediately and keep your promise to me otherwise I will impale your trio and the authoress, drink your blood then display you all on my border!******

**Ok, now dare time. France since you pulled me into WWI against my will you have to go over to Hungary (who I hope is still having withdrawals) and give her a good beating for me. Also do remind that bitch that Transylvania is mine in case the lesson didn't stick when I took it from her the first time. You're not allowed to stop until one of you is unconscious.******

**Spain, I don't have a tiff with you so salut my friend. -, My dare for you is to make Romano do any task of your choosing in a cheerleader uniform. *sends tomatoes*******

**And then the treacherous Prussia. *death glare to rival Russia* I'm going to make you pay for betraying me. You must kill your own gilbird and eat it after cooking it yourself to your liking. Don't mess with the vampire nation Gil. You will get burned.******

**Authoress you must allow yourself to live under Russian rule for ten years under Iron curtain conditions. Enjoy the rape and torture.******

**Oh and Norway and England, hi guys! -, When's the next magic club meeting? I feel bad for missing the last one because of my boss and his stupid meeting. Magic trio forever!******

**-Stefan (Romania)**

"SCHEIßE, DIE NIE PASSIERT!" Prussia shrieked in a very manly way. "THAT NEVER HAPPENED!"

The upstairs front door slammed. "Oi Preussen, I'm home!"

Toni called, walking down the stairs. Prussia rushed over.

"TONI! Scheiße!"

Toni gave him a suspicious glare. "...what happened."

Prussia handed Toni the StarkPhone, France and Spain entered and Prussia quickly explained to them Toni laughed darkly and looked up from the StarkPhone.

"Romania, please," she said, and one could almost see Russia's dark aura around her. "I already did that. Thirteen years of it...in a cave...in the mountains, where I was the official Satan and _he_ was god. THIRTEEN YEARS of hearing, 'You're worthless. _He_ can do it better.' Thirteen years of hell on earth. THAT'S PRACTICALLY MY WHOLE MOTHERFUCKING LIFE. And trust me, being separated from my dear onii-chan and PRESUMED MOTHERFUCKING DEAD was enough torture for a lifetime. THIRTEEN MOTHERFUCKING YEARS, ROMANIA. THIRTEEN MOTHERFUCKING YEARS." She leaned forward, to emphasize the point. "Like I said...if anything is tried, the onii-chan attacks."

She sat down on the couch. "Go do your dares, France, Spain. I need to have a talk with Prusse."

France: O_O

Spain: 0_0

But they left anyway.

"...are you mad at me, Toni?"

"Pshh. Nah. I'm a STARK, Prusse. My onii-chan made a name in having RelationShit like this. I take after him in every other respect, so why not this too?" she shrugged. "I do feel like I've landed in Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World, however."

Prussia snickered. "...I have to go eat a Gilbird now and atone for my sins..."

"Ja, well, good luck with that," Toni said, standing up. "I'm going to be staked out in here with my suit for when Romania tries to kill me."

"...they always come from behind."

"That's MY line!" Toni complained. Prussia smirked.

"Whatever. Just take care of yourself, ok liebe?"

"Ja, I will. Ich liebe dich, Preussen!" she called out, running into the lab. Prussia went upstairs, and reluctantly ate the Gilbird.

~With France~

Hungary beat France into submission with her frying pan in fifteen seconds flat. She dusted her skirt off, exclaiming, "Well, that's a new record!"

~With Spain~

"Come on, Roma~ One more time~"

"NO, Tomato bastardo. I will not sing Barbie Girl again."

"The dare is that you do whatever I say~"

"Ugh! Bastardo!"


	120. BTTFangirl14 15

"Ja, I guess so," Toni said, looking up from her StarkPad and lifting up the helmet on her suit. "You can join the 'Protect Toni Stark from Romania!" team, kese."

**COOL so now that your excepting guests...Can i come on? plz? If you need a  
description, I have one on the chapter where I was talking about Ally coming  
over and how i wanted to, so that is it but I have glasses. And a black hippie  
headband. Can I stay permanently? so anyway... i got the full metal alchemist  
movie today along with monty python and the holy grail. Gonna be laughing at  
anime fest 2012 tomorrow! yeah I'm gonna go**

1. AUSTRIA!WHERE R MY MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE TICKETS! I WANT THEM! ALSO I WANT  
PARAMORE TICKETS AS WELL!  
2. OMG IF I COME ON I GET TO MEET IRON FREAKING MAN!  
3. Russia, sorry I won't do it again I promise  
4. where r the BTT's concert tickets? I said during the Austria torture that  
it was one of the demands I gave  
5. Spain, what is awesome in spanish? i've been trying to figure that out I  
don't know wether to trust google translate or not  
BTW IF U NEED MY DESCRIPTION AGAIN HERE IT IS! I have white hair with side  
swept bangs that are dyed indigo, black glasses, black hippie headband, a  
light blue t-shirt with black angel wings on the back off shoulder, black tank  
top, skinny jeans, and Maka Alburn's boots from soul eater  
HOPE TO COME BY! BTTfangirl14

"Ja, I mailed them last time," Toni said. "Sorry for the postal service being slow and annoying~ and you probably will."

"Da, you will not."

Toni eeped and lifted her repulsor. Russia made a brave retreat. "Oh, yeah, I dragged them with me. They actually enjoyed it, too~. And since Spain is currently...somewhere, while I'm in this dark room shooting things that scare me, I looked it up on Google translate a while ago too. It sounds about right, but then, I only have three years of crappy Spanish classes."

There was a knock at the door. Toni pulled the mask down.

"Come in, unless you're Romania, in which case I will have to shoot you."

"No, it's me!" the voice on the other side of the door replied. "BTTFangirl14!"

Toni's repulsor glowed warily. "All right, come in."

The door opened, and a girl matching the discription looked in.

"Oh, Hello Toni~"

"Hi...welcome to the unofficial Stark patented Panic room. The boys should be back any minute now..." 


	121. Alaska and Russia

"Hey Toni?" Prussia said, handing her her StarkPhone. "We got one."

She looked at the small screen. "Really? I was just about to leave for school..."

**Hey  
Sorry what my dad did. He kinda stole my iPod, 'as punishment, da?'  
And spamed a ton of story's with his rAndom 'become one' crap. I mean, really,  
c'mon, this is MY account. So I have some dares for you**

All of you hve to swallow an iron nail. J  
That is all  
Byebye.

-Alaska

Hello again comrades. I see you did not to my dares. I am not happy. So you  
will let me on te show, da?

-Russia

So anywaWHAT THE HECK DAD! WHAT THE HECK! I got up to get a snack for 5  
minutes!  
Ok sorry guys do my dare. You will do it.

-Alaska 

Toni paled. "We'll have to do that when I get home, Preußen." she turned to go out the door. She pivoted to face Prussia suddenly, snapping her fingers. "I'll be home late...I'm going to go to Onii-chan's house to beg Dr. B for something."

Prussia made a confused face. "What?"

But Toni was already gone.

~Later~

Toni walked in the front door, smirking. "Preußen? I have a solution for this."

"Do tell," Prussia said sacrastically. Toni pulled out a small jar with a glob of green goo in it.

"Look into the green goo, and look past the fact that it is green goo."

Prussia squinted. "...that's a nail."

"EXACTLY." Toni declared. "Remember Alaska's dare? I remembered this stuff our good ol' Dr. Banner invented, so I begged him for enough to keep all of us from dying!"

"...you can really find loopholes in anything, can't you?"

"It's why onii-chan says I should work in Stark Legal," Toni said, handing Prussia one of the green globs.

"These are solid."

"Ja, they're like pills," Toni explained. "But you'll pass 'em in a day or two."

"...this has got to be one of the seltsamsten things I've ever done."

"I've done stranger things," Toni said, shrugging and swallowing her green pill. Prussia made a face and ate it. Spain and France entered at that moment, and Toni handed them the pills.

"Just eat these. You'll pass 'em in a day or so."

France stared. "Avez-vous devenu fou? Have you gone mad?"

"No. It's a dare, so you know what that means if you don't~"

France paled and immediately swallowed the pill. Spain gulped.

"España, go," Toni said, leaning over the counter. Spain flushed and ate it.

"There we go," Toni said. "My loophole radar has saved you again."

"What about Russie?" France asked, looking at the email.

"Hasn't Nat paid him a visit?" Toni asked confusedly. "Or did she decide to go murder America first, for that post on his blog?"

"...what did America post on his blog?"

"Something about her boobs...I honestly don't remember."


	122. YagamiMisaki 2

"All right!" Toni said, scrolling through her emails. "We have a ton of these to get to, so here goes~"

**Ok uhh I think you missed mine... Never mind  
Uhh I try again...**

Prussia and Spain to have a pocky game with each other in front of Romano,  
Hungary, Austria and Germany  
France will have his hair cut short, beard shaved by England

Toni gave Spain the evil eye, Romano did the same to Prussia. But Toni was the one who reluctantly handed over her stash of Chocolate Pocky. Hungary leaned forward, preparing her camera and sweating copiously. Austria and Germany were glaring at Toni, who was smirking slightly and trying to ignore the other Germanics staring her down. There was a shriek from the other room, and Everyone paused.

"What was that?" Hungary asked blankly.

"Oh, that was just France, getting a haircut from England~" Toni replied.

Before Spain and Prussia met at the center of the Pocky, Romano went "Hmph" and pulled Spain away.

"DAMMIT ROMANO!" Hungary shrieked.

Toni leaned over to Hungary. "SPAMANO!" She hissed. Hungary grinned and turned her camera to Spain and Romano.

"That was stupid, Tomato bastard."

"Fusoso~ Lovi~"

"Oh, shut it, tomato bastard."


	123. Romania 2

"CRISIS AVERTED...we have a lot of crisis here, don't we?"

"Ja, we do."

**Well, I see you've made your choice Prussia and you did my dare so I suppose I  
could let it go. But first I need to see that you're really sorry for  
unintentionally hurting me this way. By that I mean do another dare. Here it  
is.**

I dare you to find my best friend Bulgaria and steal all his yogurt. Just so  
you know that stuff is his life so good luck getting out alive.

France, I'm still peeved at you so you get the ** dare. Go over to Russia and  
declare your superiority to him then take whatever beating he gives to you  
without running away. Russia has permission to continue until he deems fit.

Spain, I'm glad you enjoyed the last dare which is why I'm giving you another  
good one. You have to not only make Romano do what you say again, but London  
as well and Paris and Madrid. Have fun.

Authoress, just please take care of Prussia for me. This isn't an easy thing  
to type, but I know when I've been snubbed. I guess it just wasn't meant to  
be.

Please pardon my last e-mail. I tend to get hasty when I lose my temper like  
that. Well, I'm off to sulk.

-Stefan (Romania) 

"It's ok, Romania~" Toni said, barely looking up from her Math textbook. "Course I'll take care of him. He's just like my onii-chan, that makes it weirdly easy. Plus, we have more than a bit in common, you know? And also..." Toni looked up. "Heh, this isn't easy to say really...I'm supposed to be your bodyguard- the nations, that is," she amended. "But sometimes he's the only one willing to talk. America's been a bit of a ** lately, he..." she looked down. "Well, it's all on his blog. But anyway. Don't worry about it."

Toni looked at a text. "Oh look...it's a text from Preußen."

**Toni! THIS GUY HAS FIVE FICKEN FREEZERS FULL OF YOGURT THE HELL DO I DO? **

**~Awesomeness out!~ **

Toni paled.

**I have no idea! DO SOMETHING! I dunno...do you want me over there? I can lift that with my suit. **

**~Iron Girl~**

A few seconds later, Toni received a response.

**Ja, that would be awesome.**

**~Awesomeness out!~**

Toni sighed. "Hey, France, Spain? Go take care of your shit. I have to go give Prussia a hand."

She wandered off into the garage/lab.

~France~

It was a pretty gory scene when Russia was done...there was a butt-ton of Koling and much blood.

~Spain~

"Roma~"

"What now, Tomato bastardo?"

"Tell Madrid to put the cherry tomatoes in the salad whole~ and tell Paris to stop molesting London, I can hear the screams."

"Hmph...fine, tomato bastardo."


	124. Soarra 8

"Heh, shit no! I laughed later when I was writing it up...of course, that was after I upgraded the security protocols."

**Hiya guys! Is it wrong that I found the Romania chapter really funny? I think  
it's my Russian side. Speaking of my Russian side, if you want I can go speak  
to Russia and try to calm him down so he gives the BTT less harsh punishments.  
Wouldn't that be nice? *smiles creepily* I also want to meet him. I do need a  
new pipe after all. There was to much blood on my old one the last time I got  
angry.  
France, I dare you to drink old BRITISH milk. An entire carton.  
*smiles normally* Spain you have to force Romano into a dress like the one he  
wore when he was younger. Hopefully you'll come out with a black eye.  
I feel bad for you Prussia so I'm gonna give you a new bird. *hands*  
Soarra **

"Quoi?" France exclaimed, terrified. Toni grinned and held up a milk carton.

"Go. You can be sick with me." she then blew her nose in another tissue. "My onii-chan gave me his stupid cold."

"Aw, ein vögelchen~!" Prussia said. "Danke!"

Spain ran off, holding the dress in the air and cheering. "ROMA~"

Toni rolled her eyes, and coughed. "I vote black eye."

"Fiver on his nose, mädchen."

"You're on."

~A few minutes later...~

While there was the sound of vomiting in the background, Toni claimed her money.


	125. Ukraine 4

"JESUS CHRIST!" Toni said in an imitation of King Arthur from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

"Was?"

**Ukraine:Canada and England are girls. I'm not sure of any other of your  
lovers, as I said, this happened in the Western Hemisphere and I'm not really  
familiar with that side of the world.**

Also... America has learned the meaning of the term "World's Breadbasket"...  
Otherwise known as the American Midwest.

...and you thought MY tracts of land were large.

Also, I'd be more afraid of Brazil than Russia until this wears off. There's a  
reason it's called the "Amazon" Rainforest, after all... Heck, the first time  
America saw Fem!Brazil, she mistook her for She-Hulk! 

"Onhonhon~ while I enjoy le sex with the males, le sex is even better with the females!" France said happily. Toni glared at him, while Fem!England yelled from upstairs.

"I AM NOT HIS LOVER!"

"Whatever you say, Angleterre~"

"F-"

Toni shut the basement door. "Really? That bad?" she shuddered. "That...is strange. Yet more people I know never to introduce!"


	126. Vatican City

"Pokemon~ Gotta catch em all~"

"What are you doing..."

**Vatican City:...May God/Arceus have mercy on Romania's soul... if he has one.  
*hands Toni a large box full of wooden stakes, garlic, holy water, crosses and  
for some reason, a Pokeball with a Volcarona in it* According to Japan,  
Volcarona can be used as a substitute for the sun... Personally, I have no  
idea. **

"Heh, it's ok, Vatican," Toni said. "We cleared it all up, we're good...I think. But I think I can use these against the whores who try and hit on him~"

She smirked and mimed whacking someone.

"Arceus~? I love Pokemon!"

"You are the strangest human being on the face of the planet..."

"Ich liebe dich auch, Preußen~"


	127. BTTFangirl14 16

"All right!" Toni said, high-fifing BTTFangirl14. "Sorry, I was out almost all day doing Iron Girl business. Now since we're cramming these into our Friday afternoon..."

"Yeah, it's ok."

"All right! This one is from you!"

"Hah~"

**Hey! Posting this from my phone...Fanfiction can get so confusing on my phone!  
Now I can do my dares personally! So here we go!  
1. Since it didn't happen last time I wanna hit Austria with my frying pipe  
(that weapon I mentioned) J  
2. I really wanna hug Iron man  
3.o my god there's a panic room when did this get here? OK moving on  
4. Hmmm have any of you (BTT HUNGARY AUSTRIA RUSSIA DENMARK NORWAY AND WHICH  
EVER OTHER COUNTRY IS THERE) who was your first kiss? **

Austria looked up from a book. "Toni, I had no idea this was your book...and what?"

BTTFangirl14 whacked him.

"Thank you, actually," Toni said, stealing the book back before anyone could see the cover. She threw it into the lab. "Hey onii-chan~"

"What?"

"Cmere~"

"I'm in the lab, kid, changing my-"

"Oh! Ja, ja!" Toni said. "Come on~"

She pulled BTTFangirl14 into the lab.

"Hello, onii~"

"What do you want?"

"Hugs~"

"You're strange, kid. But anything for my little sister."

~later~

Toni exited the lab, smiling.

"Tsunderity is a Stark thing~"

"Why does he call you kid?" BTTFangirl14 asked.

"Oh! It's because we can't both be Tony!"  
"But you are anyway..."

"I know, but when we're in the same room people call me Tonia and he calls me kid."

"That makes sense."

"Oh, ja, the panic room," Toni said. "That was just a room that I locked the door to and sat inside with my suit, my dog, and my cat~"

Austria sat up.

"What did you do with that book, Toni?" he asked annoyedly. "It was good."

"What book?" Toni asked innocently.

"A Complete History of-"

Toni leaped over the couch and tackled him. "That will never be spoken of!" She said.

"It was me," Hungary said, while casually threatening Toni with her frying pan. "We lost our mouth virginity to each other~"

Toni rolled her eyes. "How sweet."

"Hey, you lost yours to Prussia!"

"Ja, I did~"

Prussia ignored the girls and looked up at the ceiling. "It was a while ago...I don't remember her name, but I was about fifteen in human years. She was beautiful, too."

France looked down, and was silent. Everyone stared, until Toni interpreted this silence, and whispered,

"Jeanne D'Arc, guys!"

Everyone nodded, and moved on to Spain. He thought for a bit. "One of my queens...I think it was Isabella 1 of Castile~"

Toni looked around. "I think that's everyone who's here, then."


	128. Florina of Iilia 2

"LAST ONE!"

Everyone cheered.

"Seriously, you people keep us busy~"

**Well, I'm back, and guess it's time for me to bring out some new dares, no? And I understand; people can miss reviews at times. :x**

Prussia, I dare you to help Belarus 'become one' with Russia. And you have to do your best, and give her good advice. And help her with any ridiculous plot she might have.

Spain *hugs him*, go to Russia and tell him you'll become one with him. Not as a joke, but seriously. And you have to spend the day with him.

You guys CAN choose to back out of this, but if you do...

I dare France to tattoo a 'I Love Austria!' on her face, like, her left cheek. And she has to accept the tattoo. A PERMANENT tattoo, proclaiming to the world that she loves Austria.

But only if either one of them backs out of their dares. Otherwise, England is your faithful and unwavering servant for the week!

:D

I'm sure France remembers his last dare, right? The sunflowers? Vodka? The fact that if England complains while being France's servant, he's gotta serve him for another week, and so on? By the way, how's your head, France?

Toni, well...*thinks about it* Nah, I think the tattoo would be bad enough. For now. Don't worry, I'll get something good for you soon. *smiles*

Well, I guess that's all for now. Got to convince Latvia (whom France graciously dropped off at my house from last time) that Russia isn't coming here. Well, I hope not, so you better not tell him that Latvia is here, alright? Or I'll give Russia a nice new chainsaw he can use to hack France's hair off with. And probably France's body as well. Maybe the others as well. I don't know, its Russia, right?

Anyway, its up to you two to decide what you want to do. Also...*throws Toni a loaded handgun out of nowhere*

**Use this well against Romania. :) Well, good luck with your dares! **

Toni glared. "If you don't do your dares properly, I will not only chase you with my repulsors, I will rip your heart out and sacrifice it."

Prussia, Spain, and France paled.

"I don't care that you are my BFFLS. I will kill you if you fuck this up, clear?" Toni said, blowing her nose.

They scattered.

~With Spain~

"A-Ah...Hola, Russia..."

"привет, Spain."

"Ehe...I'll become one with you..."

"Da?"

"Uh, si."

"This is great!" Russia said, smiling. "Let us go to my house~"

Spain paled. _Mierda..._

~With Prussia~

"Guten tag, Weißrussland." (Yes, this is Belarus in German according to Google Translate.)

"Hm? Hello, Prussia. Have you seen big brother~?"

"That's why I'm here, actually. I'm supposed to help you become one with him, Toni said, or she'll kill me."

"I will have to thank her...let's go."

_Sheiße..._

~Back at the house~

"Oui," France said. "I am fine now."

England snorted and muttered, "Wearing a maid dress is not fun."

Toni paled. "I'm glad I pain my onii-chan a visit in New York City that week...oh, and Danke. Of course, I don't need it anymore, but I can be a demon slayer! Like in Supernatural!" She giggled. "I might give this to Nat as a birthday present, though~"

"YOU HAD BETTER NOT!" Tony yelled from upstairs. The younger Stark grinned.

"MAYBE I WILL!"


	129. xXASilverCoinlololXx

"Ok, here's one that probably won't get us killed~"

"That's always good."

**Hey, Toni, BTT. I have dares and questions for y'all! :D I'm Silver, by the  
way. But you can call me Silv! I've read every chapter of this. EVERY. ONE.  
All in the 6 hours I've been awake... Anyways! Onto the dares!  
France: Eh... You aren't my favorite, sorry... So you get to go to Russia's  
house and proclaim you love him more than Belarus does... In front of her.  
Sorry, I'll make it up to you eventually!  
Prussia: You, I love(sorry, Toni!). So... You just get to watch some of my  
favorite movies, Sherlock Holmes 1&2. The new ones, with RDJ3 You should make  
it a date!  
Spain: fjekdbdjdnjendidjs You're my 4th favorite! So! You just have to go  
surprise make out with Lovi, while Hungary gets it on tape, and make sure he  
kisses you back Because I live off of Spamano. Have fun!  
Toni: If you haven't already, you have to watch the Paint It, White! Bloopers,  
because they are **ing hilariousssss, and there's a whole bunch of America3  
QUESTION TIME!  
France: Are you currently in actual love? Not like, raping and molesting  
people. But real actual love?  
Spain: If given the chance, would you marry Romano?  
Prussia: Uh... Where did you get Gilbird?  
Toni: Will you please always write this for the rest of your life?! Please?!  
This is what's keeping me entertained! **

Toni giggled. "Sure, for a long time into the future definitely. It's hard, I come home every day and there's a lot to write up, and sometimes Russia writes in and I have a spaz attack. But I love it."

"The awesome Gilbird?" Prussia asked. "When I was little, I found him and his flock in a bush. They tried to attack the awesome Prussia, kesesese~! There's the head Gilbird- which is the one everyone sees me with- and then there's a lot more."

Toni's eyes widened. "So many. I saw them. There's, like, a couple thousand."

"Ja~"

"Fusoso~ Sii~"

"SPAMANO!" Toni cheered. "Ja, I've seen the bloopers..." she lowered her voice to sound like Germany. "I'm gonna eat chu, fire...and I'ma make you mah wooman."

"What..."

"OH MY FUCKING GOD, THEY'RE SHOOTING FUCKING LAZERS AT US WHAT HAVE WE DONE? OH GOD WATER-Bleahleagh!"

"Toni..." Spain said. "You're strange."

"Danke~"

"Not currently, onhonhonhon~" France said. "But I have been."

"Why do people like dares involving Russia and Belarus?" Toni asked.

"Because Russia and Belarus are most likely to get us killed," Prussia replied sarcastically. "It's not awesome."

"Whatever~" Toni said. "France. GO."

France went.

~At Russia's house~

"Bonjour, Russie!"

"What is it, France? If it is something useless, I will have to fetch Mr. Pipe, kolkolkol."

France paled. "I just wanted to tell you...j'taime, Russie!"

Belarus looked out from a bush.

"Nobody can love big brother more than I do~ He will become one with me~"

"Nyet!" Russia yelled, running away. Belarus ran after him.

"Big brother..."

France got the heck out of there.

~Spain and Romano~

Hungary got a nosebleed so badly, that she passed out, so Toni recorded the rest of the video for her.

"Japan has gotta see this," Hungary said excitedly, attaching the video to an email with the subject: OMG SPAMANO YAOI.

~And finally...~

"A movie marathon with the Sherlock Homes Movies?" Toni asked. "THAT'S AWESOME! I love those movies! RDJ acts as my onii-chan, you know~"

"I think that's a commonly known fact, liebe."

"Ja, but it needed to be mentioned anyway. Come on!" Toni launched herself onto the couch, swooping up the remote and pressing play.

"I'm not the jealous sort," she said as Prussia handed her a bag of Starbursts. "Danke, Preußen. I know he has fans...they just need to remember that the king of all awesome is dating me."

"I love it when you call me that~"

"I know you do. But it's the truth, because you are. Now let's go!"


	130. xXASilverCoinlololXx 2

"All right, another one...I'm actually kind of bored and wishing people would send these in, actually."

"DON'T SAY THAT! UNAWESOME!" Prussia said, tackling Toni. "If you say that they'll make us do things..."

**Actually I really HATE Russia and Belarus, I just got a mental brain lock! I  
actually squealed reading that... FIVE CATS FOR FIVE DOITCHMARKS AT ARBY'S! I  
probably didn't spell that right... But whatever! I like the ones with America  
because America is AWESOME. Not as awesome as Prussia, but close. MOAR DARES!  
Yay! You guys did well... Very well...-still mentally nosebleeding- So I'll go  
easy one you!  
France: You have to dress up like a superhero and go see if America can tell  
the difference. Because I'm too lazy to come up with anything good.  
Spain: You have to go find twenty turtles and build a turtle fortress in  
Lovi's house without him knowing, then wait 'til he gets home.  
Prussia: You have to go shopping with Poland at Aéropostale, Abercrombie and  
Fitch, ect. and let him pick out clothes for you.  
Toni: You just have to keep being awesome. **

"GOOD. France may go piss off America. I had a fight with him on his blog."

"What..."

"Five cats~ Oh, and France, I have a cape~"

"Quoi?"

"GO."

France ran out.

"Prussia...Viel Glück, mein liebe. Go."

Prussia left.

"Spain...you too."

Toni sat back. "That is, by far, the best dare I've ever received."

~France~

"Bonjour, Amerique~"

"What the heck are you wearing, France dude?!"

~Spain~

"Gah! CHIGI! Dammit, Tomato bastardo! Why the hell are there turtles in my house?"

"Hola Lovi~"

"DAMMIT!"

~Prussia~

"...and then I saw this, like, Vespa, in, like Wicked Hipster pink!"

"...shoot me now."


	131. Ukraine 5

"Ah. They keep flooding in," Toni said, clicking on the new email.

**Yeah... I think Brazil and Fem!Brazil are like Dr. Banner and The Hulk,  
except for the whole genderbend (also known as gender transformation) thing.**

As for Fem!America... I bet it'd be hilarious to get her over there... Think  
about it this way: Wonder Woman with a rack twice as large as MINE, minus the  
whip (boy would THAT be kinky...) 

France commenced the nosebleeding, for once.

Toni shoved him away. "That's really creepy, especially considering that I know Dr. Banner...he's a nice guy. Maybe I should meet Brazil someday~"

"Haven't you met every country?"

"Nah," Toni said, devouring a cookie. "See, my main priority is the G8-slash-G20- the world powers. The less of a power, less priority! It's kind of a stupid system, but hey, that's what happens when you can only spare one Avenger to do all this work."

"I see..."

"Also, there's a lot of countries," Toni continued. "And most of the ones I know are in Europe."

"Ja."

"That make sense?"

"Oui."


	132. Vatican City 2

"Hm...really? I've never thought of that. There's also that Doctor Who, where it's insinuated that the Royal Family are werewolves, hah~"

"¿De qué estás hablando?" Spain asked.

"This," Toni replied, handing him the fresh-out-of packaging StarkTab.

**Vatican City:I think I know why London's been so weird lately... There's a  
full moon tonight, and we all know that London is secretly a werewolf (which  
explains why most werewolf movies take place in London...). Due to this, I  
have sent a shipment of silver.**

Speaking of silver... Washington D.C.'s been wondering what happened to Silver  
Surfer. 

"Hm," Toni said. "I've never thought of that, but England is one of the Magic Trio...I'll have to find this out. And this would make a great fic, I might write this up. I love writing wolf creatures. I love wolves~"

"This house just got about fifty times creepier."

"Silver Surfer..." Toni said, pulling at her genius mind. "Right, he was banished to travel the galaxy forever! ((I got this off of Marvel Comics Wiki so don't kill me if it's wrong!)) I don't know a lot about him," Toni said. "I might have gotten that wrong, then."


	133. California 5

"ERMAHGERD."

**...Just hope that RDJ recovers soon, Toni. Otherwise I'm going to find an  
actor to play YOU in a few movies...**

...Then again, that's not a bad idea: making a movie based on the genderbent  
Avengers, especially since Hawkgirl and She-Hulk are canon... 

"REALLY!" Toni exclaimed. "OHMAIGAWDSERIOUSLYYOUWOULDRE ALLYCONSIDERTHATTHATWOULDBEA WESOMEDANKEDANKEDANKE."

Prussia, Spain, and France stared at her.

"What have you eaten."

"A big bag of skittles...TASTE THE RAINBOW~"

"Wait, there's awesomely more," Prussia said, looking at Toni's StarkTab.

**California:I forgot to attach my name to the last reply... *giggle***

What Ukraine has said is true, although that didn't affect the States (except  
for myself, Vermont, Hawaii and Texas... Maybe because the four of us were  
countries at one point...)

America's trying to get used to having the Rocky Mountains as a body part,  
Ca... what's her name... is trying to calm Kumajirie down (I much prefer the  
docile Kumajirou, but a bear is a bear.); Mexico's being hit on by Spain (when  
he's not getting dared, of course) and Brazil... is scary. I might use her as  
She-Hulk (thanks for the idea, Ukraine!). 

"OHMAISHIZNUTS, GENDERBENT KUMA?" Toni said. "AWESOME."

"Right...sometimes she's too crazy even for us," Prussia said. "But for now we join the insanity instead of questioning it."


	134. Romania 3

"Ah...I'm so lad we cleared all of this up, ja?"

"Ja..."

**... Vatican city is messed up. He realizes half of those legends don't work  
right? I really do feel awful for snapping at you like that, but it's nice to  
know that you understand me so well. For a while I felt like no one else did.  
I'm sending one of my bats over with an apology bouquet of dog roses. If you  
want you can keep him. His name is Andru. Consider him a token of my apology.**

It just hurts that he forgot about our promise that easily. During that time I  
didn't know Bulgaria that well, so he was really the only one that I could  
turn too. I had a feeling his promise was empty but I drew strength from that  
and got out of Russian control because I believed in that promise. I'm sorry,  
I'm rambling now. I had dares an questions.

France, I dare you to try to steal all of Belarus's knives. Da, I'm still mad  
at you.

Spain, did you ever have any romantic feelings for Romano when he was a child?

Prussia... I dare you to wear a beautiful ball gown from the 1700's for a  
week. The most feminine one Tony can find. Have fun.

Btw you guys should have seen Bulgaria's face when you took his yogurt!  
Priceless! Ok, back to isolating myself until my heart heals.

-Stefan (Romania) 

"You call that snapping?" Toni giggled. "I lived with the Incredible Hulk for a while...I know what 'snapping' is. Seriously, it's no big deal. And thank you for the roses and the bat~. And...believe me, I've escaped some horrible s**t too. My father..." she looked own. "Well, it's of no consequence right now." She paused, then said quietly. "My heart is opening, I want to be set free. Because you are here, I can be myself."

**45 bonus points and virtual cookies if you name the Hetalia song! ~Toni! **

Spain blushed. "N-No! I'm not a pedophile!"

"I don't think he is," Toni supplied. "I mean, they are the Bad Touch Trio and they have some strange fetishes, but Pedophilia is not on that list, to my knowledge."

"Me, or Onii-chan?" A confused younger Stark asked. "Because I'm going to do it."

Prussia headdesked.

France came back later with various cuts.


	135. Soarra 9

"BEACH." Toni said. (✌ﾟ∀ﾟ) "Hölle ja!"

**Sup guys! IM SO FRICKIN EXCITED! NOT FOR SCHOOL THAT STARTS ON TUESDAY! NO, IM  
GOING TO THE BEACH TOMORROW. The last we tried it thundered about an hour and  
a half in. But we are going now! 8D Hey Toni? Do you know Russia's address?  
Once again, I need a new pipe and I can talk to him.  
France, how did that milk taste? XD  
Spain, do you still have that battle axe? If so, I want you to go up to  
Denmark with it and say 'My axe is bigger than yours'. That should be an...  
interesting conversation.  
Prussia, have you decided on a name for the bird I gave you?  
Ok, I have a dare for Prussia, Toni and the unawesome frog. You guys have to  
watch Hetalia World's Worst Dating Video and not burst out laughing. Prussia  
and France has to say their lines in the vid and Toni has to say Iggy's.  
Soarra **

"Russia? No, but he does have a blog, here on FanFic," Toni said. "I caught Alexie using my account to ask him for his pipe."

"C'est horrible!"

"Ja!" Prussia said. "He is little awesome Leo! I almost named him Gilbird, but I already have those, kese."

"The axe?" Spain asked, stalling for time to remember. "I don't think so, unfortunately."

"Aw, that sucks," Prussia said. "It was the awesomest Axe ever!"

"I am not unawesome~"

"Yes, you are," Toni said. "That is final." she rotated her StarkPad, switching to Youtube and starting the video.

France smirked. "Care to find out if this is my real color, onhonhonhon~"

"kesesese~ Let me be the gatekeeper to your portals of joy!"

Toni leaned over the kitchen sink.

"Do you want us to pause the video?"

"Nein, keep going." she paused. "What the hell did England just say?"

They replayed it.

"Oh, he said, 'I will churne thy butter.' Keep going!"

The video played until the end.

"WTF did I just listen to?"


	136. Bururu 22

"HECK YEAH. I WILL HELP YOUUU."

"..help us what, exactly?"

**Oh mon dieu I died laughing at that last one-I've seen the bloopers too and  
those two parts are some of my favorites. XD  
Annnyways. I found out my World History teacher is into anime.  
With that, he is probably my favorite teacher.**

So France, how many times have you *** with America? How about England? /is a  
Framerica and FrUk shipper to the death/  
Prussia, go vandalize Stark headquarters. Like, now. And then paint Mr.  
Stark's Iron Man suit (Mark IV, was it?) fluorescent pink. And make the pink  
glow in the dark.  
France, go sexually harass Loki. See if you can *** with him. Poor creeper's  
probably a virgin. But he is still awesome, oui?  
Spain, GET ME SHAWARMA I WANT SHAWARMA. I've never had it before... And I  
wanna try it... But there are no shawarma places near where I live...  
Oh yeah. And take Crayola markers to Thor's hammer. Draw Gilbird or something.  
I don't care how far you have to travel, DO IT.

Toniiiii, how long will it be until The Avengers comes out on Blu-Ray? I NEED  
to watch it again. I'll go through withdrawals or something if I don't see it  
soon. /twitches/ Oh, and have you seen Nigahiga's parody "The Avengerz" yet.  
It is sooo funny, watchitwatchitwatchit or I will activate my terrifying  
English heritage and COOK FOR THE BTT FOR A MONTH! So watch it.  
-Bururu 

"FFF-Toni, are you sure Dein Bruder isn't going to kill me?"

"Nah...didn't you see in Iron Man 2? That was probably worse. All he has to do is give it new paint job, which takes a couple of hours...could be worse. AND I DON'T KNOW. My onii-chan has declared that classified, because I want to buy it, but Natasha wasn't happy that they even made a movie. So she says that we're not allowed to watch it. But I do anyway, because I'm bad~"

"Onhonhonhon~"

"Loki is in Asgard," Toni said firmly. "My onii-chan has been working with SHEILD in Earth-ASgard relations, technology and stuff so Humans can visit Asgard and whatever. That's how I got Russia to talk to Loki for that one dare. AND FACT! Loki isn't a virgin. He lost it to..." Toni grinned. "Are you ready? A HORSE. He gave birth to an eight-legged horse! ALL HAIL MPREG! See, hanging out with Norway has benefits! Blackmail time!"

Toni watched the video, laughing. "It is like that...a LOT. Seriously, I'm not kidding."

The BTT stared.

"Come on, let's go annoy Thor and Onii-chan~"

Toni dragged them upstairs to Thor's room.

"It's impossible to pick up the hammer, but we can draw on the sides that aren't facing down." she grabbed one of the markers and doodled a little red heart. "See?"

A few minutes later, the hammer now had a little drawing of Gilbird, a tomato, a bad drawing of a rose, and a messy Avengers A on it.

"Let us go to my land, where I will sing you the song of my people~"

~Older Stark's secret lab, somewhere~

"Helloooo," Toni said, walking over to the suit. "Long time no see, old boy~"

"Why are you talking as if it's alive?"

"Because it is," Toni snapped. "Now go. I cannot bear to see you do this to my onii-chan's baby~"


	137. xXASilverCoinlololXx 3

"Hey Toni?" Prussia asked. Toni was reading something on her StarkPhone.

"Toni?"

Toni turned her face to them, slowly and dramatically, grinning evilly.

**Aw, you really likes my dare?! Thank youuu:D Heh.. This is /so/ much fun!****  
****Sorry, guys... Especially Prussia on that last one.. Okay! I actually have a****  
****single dare my friend and I came up with, but it's bad.. You guys have to be****  
****locked in a room Toni creates and attempt to get out within 24 hours. Have you****  
****played the escape games on AddictingGames? Exactly like that, but for real,****  
****and Toni, you're welcome to design said room however you like, as long as its****  
****not too easy. Oh, I almost forgot. Since I love you soooo much I convinced my****  
****friend, who to me is the female counterpart of Russia, to let me give you guys****  
****each a cellular device with 15 minutes of call time on it to call whoever****  
****you'd like. That took some work. But... She came up with most of this, so...****  
****Oh, and of you guys don't make it out in 24 hours, Toni, let them out, but****  
****they need to clean your whole house, my friend's(who seriously lives with 6****  
****other people who aren't exactly cleanly), and mine. My mother is slightly a****  
****hoarder, my sisters are nasty, and my room is filled with notebooks with****  
****fanfiction all over them. So please make it out. I almost choked going into my****  
****sisters' room earlier. Anyways... Sorry guys... But yeah! Oh and Toni, I got****  
****you some Mini M&M's, which are the best kind.**

"Awesome," Toni said, taking a mouthful of the M&Ms. "I've got a plan for this room, I know just what to do!"

She grabbed her StarkPad and took off down the stairs, calling out, "Oi JARVIS, I need all the materials we have on hand here, what can be assembled from them, and how long that'll take.

"Certainly, miss."

France paled.

"She's a bit of a sadist..."

"Ja."

~later~

Toni emerged from the basement slash lab, with her hair poking messily out from under a welding mask. She was holding a welding torch, and wearing old gloves that were at least two sizes too big.

"I'm done~"

The BTT paled.

"Awesome Toni, no offense, but you're kind of a sadist."

"Not really~" Toni said, smirking. "And you're one to talk."

She grinned. "Good luck in the room~"

So saying, Toni shoved them into a plain white room with nothing in it except a refrigerator. France opened it. Inside was two bottles of wine, Five beers, a case of tomatoes, some frozen wurst, a freezer-burnt Filet Mignon, and some mushy Paella.

"NOOOON! WHY DO YOU MANGLE OUR FOOD SO?" France wailed dramatically.

Toni's voice came over a speaker. "Ah, France. When will you learn...I ATE THAT FOR THIRTEEN FICKEN YEARS OK?!" She screamed. "YOU CAN SURVIVE."

The speaker clicked off, and Prussia went over to the door.

"Kesesesese~! This can't be that hard for mein awesomeness!"

"Think again, Preußen!" Toni said.

"You're enjoying this too much!" Prussia complained.

"Maybe~"

Prussia nervously reached out to touch the door. An electric shock from the doorknob made his silver hair stand on end.

"That is not awesome, mein mädchen!"

"That's the point of this," Toni shrugged. "So get cracking~"

The trio looked around. There was a toilet, a sink, and a shower.

"What?" Spain said.

"JUST ECAPE THE DAMN ROOM!" Toni complained. "The speaker's going off NOW so any more questions? Nein, non, no? Good. Stark offline!"

Spain looked around.

"Que es esto?" he asked, pointing at the sink. Prussia looked down into the plumbing.

"Looks like a key...so we'll need to get the plumbing open."

"Pero no somos lo suficientemente fuertes," Spain reminded him.

"Oui, we will have to find something to get it open with."

Prussia looked underneath the sink. "There's a clamp down here, but no handle."

"Aqui esta!" Spain declared, holding up a plunger.

"Oh. Hell. No." France said, looking from the clamp to the plunger. "This is not going to work, mes amis..."

"We have to awesomely try!" Prussia declared. "Otherwise, we'll be cleaning, and that's un-awesome."

"Bien..." France sighed. "But I don't think this is a good idea."

Spain clamped one end of the clamp to the stick, the other to the pipe. The trio pulled at it until the pipe fell onto the floor, sending the key skittering across the room. France snatched it up, trying to insert the key into the door lock. His hair stood on end.

"Non, that is not correct."

"No sheiße Sherlock," Prussia said sarcastically. "Try it in the cupboard."

He grabbed the key from France and unlocked the cabinet.

"Kesesese~! Another victory for the awesome me!"

Inside the cabinet was a key code with a password. A sticky note read, "This'll shut off the electrics. Good luck! ~Toni."

Prussia sighed and looked at the keyboard.

"Was? What could this be?" he asked. The other two shrugged.

"Try Iron Man," France suggested.

No go.

"Iron Girl?" Spain asked.

Nope.

"TStark?" Prussia muttered as he attempted it.

Never.

"Try the one that used to be on her tablet?" Spain suggested.

IchLiebePreußen.

Nope. But Prussia wasn't willing to give up on that possiblility yet.

IchLiebePreussen?

The light turned green. Prussia smiled.

"Ich liebe dich auch, Antonia."


	138. Florina of Iilia 3

"Ah, we have one..." Toni said calmly, taking a sip of a milkshake.

**Anyways, I've finally managed to calm Latvia down, while watching the 'Paint it, White' Bloopers. It's hilarious XD**

I guess its time for Round Two, right? It's going to be a long one...Oh, but before that...

Spain, tell me how your day was with Russia, and Prussia, please tell me what happened with you and Belarus. Oh yeah, Russia can visit you guys anytime, since Spain is now 'one' with him, and vice-versa, right? *smiles*

Tell me now. In full detail. Or Toni's gonna live with an Austrian flag for the rest of her life. On her forehead. *pulls out permanent tattooing kit*

Alright, here come the dares...

Spain, you gotta act like Belarus for the next 72 hours. But instead of aiming for Russia, aim for Romano. I'm sure you'll do a good job, and it might be something you enjoy! Oh, make sure you re-enact the scene where Belarus breaks off the doorknob to Russia's room; I really liked that scene. XD Oh, someone record this!

((I'm running in, so this is how I look like; I have somewhat curly, dark brown hair at shoulder length, bangs are swept to the left. I also have blue eyes, and wear a white one-shoulder shirt with ruffles, with dark blue jeans and platform sandles. I also have two bangles on my left wrist, one black, one white.))

*runs in out of nowhere and grabs Toni's wrist and handcuffs her to a struggling Austria with a special handcuff, then pulls his curl*

Hehehe, Toni, you gotta stick with him for the next 3 days, and you can't say anything bad about him. Also, don't even try to break the handcuffs; they'll shock you, Austria, and whoever else is touching it at the time immensely if you try to remove them, and can only be removed with this special key. *pulls out a small, metal key with a unique blade, then puts it back in her pocket*

Oh yeah, say one bad thing about Austria during this time, and I'll dispose this key. So you'll be stuck with Austria forever! Well, until you die. Don't worry; the key isn't going anywhere.

Technology these days, it opens up a lot of options for dares, right? *smiles*

Hmmm...*thinks for a moment* France, go stalk China or Hong Kong with a whip for an hour. Spread the love. *hands him a whip* Also, after that, mind running around in Switzerland's yard naked for an hour?

Prussia...

Stick Gilbird in a blender. And turn it on at the highest level. And watch it while it blends. Then, after its done, make both Austria and Toni drink whatever's left of Gilbird.

Then go ahead and sing 'Mein Gott' in front of them. Try to use whatever you can to make it as loud as possible. Then give a bottle of Vodka, and a bouquet of sunflowers to Russia, face to face. If you don't do all three of these tasks, I'll handcuff you to Alaska's father; Russia, with a similar handcuff. And make France swallow the only key.

Well, now, I'm off to buy a chainsaw; later! *walks away, and leaves Toni and Austria there* 

"GET HIM OFF ME, GET HIM OFF ME, GET HIM OFF ME-fuck."

"I won't be able to play piano with your hand attached to me, will I?" Austria said. Toni glared at him.

"I won't be able to weld metal or work with missiles with your hand attached to mine!" She replied snarkily. "Spain, start talking or I'll kill you."

"U-Uhm, si! It wasn't very pleasant...it was rather gory, in fact..."

Toni looked down. "I can handle it, Spain. I'm not fragile." Her left hand (her dominant hand, and free one) went to her neck, rubbing it absently.

"Well, when we got back to Russia's house, he tied me up in the basement. Then he took out his pipe and this knife. And then, he took the knife and-"

(Imagine the camera panning over the faces of Toni, Austria, Prussia, and France, who are all shocked, as Spain's voice fades into the background.)

"Then he takes the blood and-"

Toni looks pale. "That's enough detail, Spain..." she glared at the StarkTab. "I don't know who you are...but Spain's innocence died. Believe me, it died."

"All right," Prussia said, glaring at Austria. "Time to go and slaughter-" he said dramatically, "Another Gilbird in the name of dares~"

"You have to give me CPR," Toni deadpanned.

"You'll have dead Gilbird in your mouth!"

"Whatever..." Toni muttered. "FML."

~Spain and Romano~

"Lovi~ Become one with me, Lovi~"

"CHIGIII! WHAT THE HELL, TOMATO BASTARDO! NO!"

"You know you want to~"

"LEAVE ME ALONE, BASTARDO!"

Spain kicked the door in.

"Lovi, the door that separated us is gone now~"

"You're-a acting just like that-a Belarus ragazza!"

"Marry me, marry me, marry me..."

"CHIGII! NO!"

~France~

"...what the hell are you doing, aru?"

"Spreading l'amour."

"It's getting creepy, aru."

"That's the point."

~With Prussia, Austria, and Toni~

"I swear to god..." Toni said, looking revolted. "If this kills me I'm coming back as a ghost to haunt you all. Only the Magic Trio will be able to see me. Then I can finally get revenge on America, hah~"

"You're really creepy," Austria said. Toni smirked.

"I try. She reluctantly lifted the glass of bird pulp.

"MEIN GOTT LASS MICH NICHT DIE BITTE!" Toni screamed, drinking the bird pulp. She immediately began to cough and vomit.

"ICH KANN DICH TÖTEN!" Toni coughed. Prussia immediately pressed his lips onto hers in CPR. Austria made a face. Toni coughed as Prussia pulled away.

"Get me a goddamn Epi-pen or an advil or whatever the fuck medicine my onii-chan said. Before I kill someone."

~a little later...~

"Dareka ga yonderu

Ore wo yondeiru

Ii ze makasetoke iku ze

Motto! Motto!"

Higashi e nishi e to

Hashiritsuzukeru ze

Omae ga nozomu nara-" Prussia had kicked off the song, but Toni soon joined in.

"-Nadeteyaru!" she took the chorus for her own.

"Sou sa tatakau shika nai nara

Yaru shika nai sa  
Oresama saikou! Saikyou!

Saigo ni warau nowa Ja!

Oresama! Kimatta ze!"

"-Danke!" both cheered.

"Saijou! Saikyou!

Omaera tataete ii ze

Dekai yume miseteyaru

Rensen renshou gachi da ze!" Prussia sang, grinning. Toni picked up the gauntlet.

"Hitorikiri no heya

Kyou mo shitatameru

Oresama MEMORIANU kaku ze

Motto! Motto!" both sang the next verse.

"Kotori yo saepure ore no tame ni

Iyasareteyaru Niyo niyo!" Toni kept going.

"Yabai shiawase wo yobu panda

Damasarenai ze..." Prussia picked up as Toni's voice trailed off.

"Oresama sanjou! Enjou!

Yaritai houdai amareu ze

Oyaji mitetekure!"

"-Mein Gott!" both called. Toni went for the next verse.

"Pinchi! Panchi!

Toki niwa mushaburui da ze

(...Kono gurai ni shiteyaru)

Kisei gyakuten asuru ze!" Prussia picked up with her.

"Subete no chizu itsukawa kono te ni...

Warainagara kakenukeru ze

Sou sa yowasa no sei janakute

Tsuyosugiru no sa..." Toni dropped off and handed Prussia the chorus.

"Oresama saikou! Saikyou!

Saigo ni warau nowa Ja!

Oresama! Kimatta ze..."

"-Danke!" both chorused. Toni claimed the next verse's vital regions.

"Minna! Koi yo!

MEADO no togashite ii ze?

Hitori tanoshi sugiru ze

Kono te ni subete wo! Mattero!

Rensen renshou gachi da ze!" Prussia picked up the background singers' parts in German.

"Beobachten Sie es bitte, Fritz Vater

Beobachten Sie es bitte, Fritz Vater

Beobachten Sie es bitte, Fritz Vater."

Meanwhile, Austria was headdesking on Toni's kitchen island. Prussia left Toni and Austria alone for fifteen minutes, and went to give the sunflowers and vodka to Russia. Trasks completed, he headed back to Toni's house to find that Toni was on the phone with her brother, begging for him to come over in case of emergency.

"Bitte, onii-chan?"

"Maybe."


	139. HikariJapanChan

"Another day, another email..." Toni said sarcastically.

**Hikari: GOOOOOD MORNING MY FRIENDS And sadly, my OCs has to have a say in everything, so-**

Indonesia: Prussia, you nitwit! You bully! You-

Hikari: *clamps Indo's mouth* Eh...yeah, she still didn't get over how you got her drunk last time...hehe...anyways, besides the point, I don't feel like treating you too cruel, except for probably Prussia

Indonesia: *pulls Hikari's hand off mouth* **你好笨，你只到嗎****? (you're stupid, you know that?) I NEVER GOT DRUNK! IT'S YOUR STINKIN FAULT, PRUSSIA! And Germany is nicer than you *smirk evilly***

Malaysia: *pokes sis in forehead* Hey, Indo. Stop already.

Indonesia: No, don't make me stop, brother...that...that...

Hikari: *blocks both from screen* anywho, on a brighter note I dunno if I'm good with dares but I shall try my best to appease Toni-chan with some simple ones at least

Indonesia: And Nihon-sempai ain't-

Malaysia: *drags Indo and tosses her into closet* Done. Continue on, Hikari. *walks away*

Hikari: *sweat drop* -ohkays- Oh my goshness, it's, like, five in the morning...gotta make this quick before Chinese school So I might ask again for my bday present or whatnot  
TO Spain: ...*glances around quickly* I think Indo has something against you for not helping her during your pirate years, hehe...so act like Italy in front of Romano for...five mintues...I'm not superbly cruel, mi amigo Buuuttt...in your favor, I'll send you some tomatoes  
TO Prussia: ...just a 'tad' bit...'harsh', mein friend, but get Toni's brudder upset somehow...I leave it to your awesome imagination to become creative yess...creative  
TO France: ...go eat a British scone or whatnot Oh, and hit on Jappy if you don't mind

Indonesia: *bursts out of closet with katana* DON'T YOU DARE HIT ON NIHON-SEMPAI! And you just made all of this in their favor...*whines*

Hikari: Oh And if you do this successfully, with my awesomely genuine blessings, I will dare Indonesia to say, "Ich liebe dich, Preussen"...quite a few times to say the least And maybe I'll dress her up as...hmn...aha! I'll make her cosplay as China

Indonesia: *pales* NUUUUUUU...besides, if I say it, Toni might hurt me...

Hikari: ehhhhsss...please..don't hurt...Indo-chan? But then again...hehe...oh, and England, Indonesia has something to sayy...right?

Indonesia: *stares blankly* Your freakin' magic you taught me...did not help...  
**  
Hikari: To say the least, she turned Taiwan into a boy for a few days Besides the point, have fun and all the luck and love to you, my loves And Toni, cooperate with Pruessen, my dear I'll videotape Indo-chan and try to sen-**

Indonesia: Waaait a minute, if I have to do something, so does HIKARI Hikari has to give a hug to all the Bad Touch Trio

Hikari: ...what kind of dare is that?

Indonesia: *smiles happily* THE WORST DARE EVAH! OH YEAH! AAAAndddd...throw a tomato at Spain for me Especially after-

Hikari: *face palm* Okay, sorry, that's enough chitchat from me. Chinese school, here I come Au revoir, Adios, Auf Wiedersehen, and love to all Oh, and when you see some girl with raven black hair and chestnut eyes come to your door, Toni, it's meeeee *whispers* I'll hand you the video as soon as I'm done videotaping And...Spain, sorry, but don't try to hide from me, I'm a ninja musician. Not gonna work out. And besides, I could use a cherry tomato or whatnot to throw at you Hikari-Japan-chan out!

Indonesia: *waves* BYYYEEE...and you'll never hear me say I love you to Prussia with a straight face

"All right," Toni said. "Just so you know, Preußen, my onii-chan only permits this because they told me to come here. Always remember that you could have been stuck with Captain America instead of me. And he's a PRUDE."

"...so then why did they pick you?" England asked. "You're the youngest and the most inexperienced."

"Well, A.) They know I'm a fangirl and B.) I'm not an official Avenger. Something about being a minor..." Toni shrugged. "Anyway, the easy way to annoy Onii-chan...hm, there's several, but we already did one as a dare."

"When we painted his suit pink?"

"Ja, that was it."

"I'll just do it in a different color~"

"Ok, fine."

"Neon Green~!"

"Then gooo~"

Prussia left.

"Ich liebe dich, Preußen!" Toni called. "All right...Spain."

"Siii?"

"Go talk to Romano and act like Ita-chan...see how long it takes before he punches you."

"Ok~"

~Later~

"Ve~ Hola Roma~"

"The hell, tomato bastard? You sound like my idiota fratello."

"Ve, that's the point, Roma~"

"...are you trying to piss me off, tomato bastardo?"

"Siii~"

"God dammit.

~France~

"What is this thing you call food, Angeterre?"

"IT'S A SCONE GOTT DAMMIT FRANCE." Toni said. "AND I MADE IT SO FUCKING EAT THAT SHIT."

"C'est horrible!"

"I swear to god, France, I'm going to stab you someday."

~later~

Strains of the chorus to Iron Man echoed out of Toni's StarkPhone.

"Nobody wants him  
He just stares at the world  
Planning his vengeance  
That he will soon unfold..."

Toni grinned and answered. "Nee nee onii-chan?"

"Little Stark, why has it been painted neon green?"

"What?" Toni asked innocently.

"You know what I'm talking about."

"Heh heh..."

**[Next day...]  
****  
Hikari: C'mon, wear China's robes...you used to do it when you were little**

Indonesia: SHUT UP!...Ich...

...

Ich liebe dich Preußen...*hides in closet*

Hikari: Okays *whispers* BTW, she kinda does, kesese...Now, to go find Toni and get mah hugs and tomatoes!

"Hugs and tomates incomiiing!" Toni said.

"Kesesese~! Of course, I'm awesome!"


	140. Romania 4

"Hmm..." Toni sighed, refreshing the email interface on her StarkPad. "Oh, yay, Email!"

**I'm glad that you understand. Hmm, I'd imagine living with the Hulk would be something worth fearing, even for nations. Hehehe Andru is a sweetheart. I'm sure he'll be a nice addition to the crazy household. I'm sending over a spell book England wanted to borrow to reverse gender-bending so could you please give it to him/her next time you see him/her. Vă mulţumim in advance. Um, in case you don't speak Romanian that was Thank you.**

Ok, thanks for answering Spain, its just that I heard that rumor from Portugal and wanted to know if there was any truth behind it. Now that I know I have a different question for you. When did you start having romantic feelings for Romano. (Don't try to deny it Spain, it's all too obvious)

France, I'll give you a break this time since I've been harsh to you and put you on pet sitting duty for Prussia and the authoress for a week. That includes cleaning up after the pets and grooming so don't think I let you off too easily. Andrue like mealworms fed to him by hand.

Prussia... I'm ignoring you.

Hungary if you're around you have to declare my superiority in the public form of the authoress's choosing.

Authoress, quick question can I still call you Igi to avoid confusion?

-Stefan (Romania) 

"Ja, it is. Heh, no offense Dr. B!" Toni said. "You're awesome, but it's like living in a Nuclear test facility...you have to keep track of everything you do! There was an incident last wek when they were staying here for a while...I'll not go into details, but it involves cookies. No wonder everyone likes to sleep in at Avengers Tower! And sure, I'll give the book to England. I think he said he was coming over to give me more of those amazing chocolate chip Scoooones~!"

"Roma~? Definitely when he was older," Spain said.

"I don't get why people think you're a pedo, Spain," Toni said. "You obviously didn't fall for Romano until he was older, hah~ SPAMANOO! Oh, and France, my cat claws strange people~"

"I'm here all the time, mon ami!"

"She considers everyone except Onii-chan and me a stranger~"

"Merde..."

"ERMAHGERD, torturing fun!" Toni said. "Ooooh HUNgaRY..."

"What?" Hungary asked crossly, still mad that Toni had to be handcuffed to Austria a few chapters ago.

"I have a dare to torture you~"

"What now?"

Toni handed Hungary the StarkPad.

"God dammit!" Hungary cursed.

"So Hungary, here's what I want you to do..." Toni said, grinning.

Five minutes, a melted frying pan, and 42 "Kesese~"s later, Hungary was wearing a white shirt with messy (but legible) writing that said, "Romania is awesome" on it.

"Ja, you can," Toni said. "Not many people call me Toni anyway. I mean, it's confusing with my onii-chan. Some people call me Tonia, that's fine too."


	141. Bururu 23

"Mein gott!" Toni exclaimed, spewing her milkshake. "We have a crisis!"

"Que?"

**Why... do people think I'm perverted...  
FRANCE! I'm only spreading amour, oui?  
Oh and Tonia... I'm huddled up in a small, scrunched up space right now... I'm  
on... a yaoi shortage... please...help moi...I haven't read yaoi in days, and  
I haven't seen any yaoi in days either... I feel like I'm going to die...**

Please guys... help moi... s'il vous plait... I need... yaoi...  
-Bururu 

"Ah, oui," France agreed. Toni looked over at Spain, then shoved him onto Romano in the blink of an eye.

"NOW KISS!" Toni said. "QUICKLY."

Spain looked at Romano.

"Get off of me, Tomato bastardo-"

"NO!" Toni cried, shoving Spain closer to Romano. "MAKE SPAMANO NOW OR ELSE. Spain, kiss Romano dammit or you get chased as if you broke a dare."

Spain paled, and gently pressed his lips to Romano's. Toni cheered.

"Fuck ja! SPAMANOO, BITCHES! I hope this satisfied your Yaoi cravings!" Toni cheered and giggled.


	142. Alaska

"All right," Toni declared, picking up her phone. "I've got a few of these to get through...I'm sorry I couldn't get to this sooner! I was visiting my onii-chan!"

**I have dare for you**

Prussia: Wear a shirt that says 'I 3 Monkeys' and go to every club you've ever  
been to, and act like a 3 year old. Whine a lot. Pull down skirts. Taze people  
if they dont give you what you want. *sends tazer* You cannot ask for beer. Or  
any other alchoholic beverage. Call every at least 5 people you meet 'Mommy'.

France: Go take a 2hour nap in a working freezer.

[no one read this next part but spain]

Spain: wow you acting like my aunt was creepy. So now you get to act like my  
father  
I knocked him out 5 min ago. J  
*Hands Spain: coat, pants, skarf, wig, platform boots, and voice changer.*  
Tell everyone you are leaving, then return as Russia. Ask for vodka, tell  
people to 'become one' , the works. Have fun scaring the ** out of everybody.  
You have to do this for 5 hours. Go ahead and stalk china while your at it.

Have fun!  
до свидания,  
Alaska 

"OH FUCK!" Toni shrieked as spain walked back in dressed as Russia. "Goddammit, I thought I sent Natasha after-" she dragged Prussia backwards (France-dragging-England style) into the lab, throwing a random bottle of Vodka at him and locking the door. She was muttering angrily in German. France paled and jumped out the window into Toni's bushes. But before he could run away, he got a text from Toni.

**Go hid in the freezer. Don't think I don't know you. **

**Repulsors online,**

**~Iron Girl~**

France sighed and went into the freezer.

~Later~

Prussia was sitting on the couch wearing the shirt. Toni looked up from her Math and pulled off her headphones.

"Why are you back already?"

"Those un-awesome arschloches kicked me out..."

"I see," Toni said, putting her headphones back on and humming quietly.


	143. Florina of Ilia

"SHIT! PRUSSIAAA! QUICKLY!"

"Was?"

"We for got to say what you did with Belarus for that one dare! Quickly, before I have that priss's flag on my face for the rest of my life!"

**Oh, no! *feigns sadness***

Prussia didn't talk about his time with Belarus. *grabs permanent tattooing kit and walks in again out of nowhere* Hey, I DID say for both of them to explain their time together. Both of them. Not just Spain.

*walks to Toni, kneels down to eye level, and begins painfully tattooing an Austrian Flag on her forehead* Don't worry, I'll stop tattooing as soon as Prussia explains his story. Oh yeah, I got the key, too, so I can free you from Austria; I think the flag will be a good compromise.

Anyway, I should probably give you guys the dares I thought up while I was gone; I didn't think Spain would lose his innocence by just spending a day with Russia...*still tattooing until he finishes his story*

...It's Dare time.

Spain, remember your day with Russia? Well, you gotta re-enact it!  
Yup. But Spain is Russia, and...*starts laughing evilly* Romano has to be you. Yeah, go torture him. *smiles* Make sure you do EVERYTHING he did, and you actually have to TRY acting like him.

And, besides Toni and the other three (including Austria), Germany, England and Italy have to watch it as well! And they can't do anything to stop it! *hands Spain a pipe, knife, and all the other things he'll need*

*places a camera beside Toni* Toni has to record the entire thing. :D Then send it to me.

Hmmm...France! Go completely (but please, keep your crotch rose to protect the children) naked, and go to a store and buy condoms. Then give them to America face-to-face, while still naked. I want to know his reaction!

And...  
Prussia...Prussia has to be confined in a box made out of SR 5096 glass (Unbreakable glass) that is unmovable, and is in a room filled with a ton of beer. The box is only big enough for him to sit in, and can only be unlocked with a certain password that only I know of *smiles*, or when the timer runs out. Prussia has to stay there for the next 24 hours, so I suggest you go now.

By the way, if those three don't do their dares, and something VERY BAD will happen to Toni. And possibly her armour. Mostly Toni. I'll just say it involves her and Austria. Maybe Russia as well. MAYBE. It's not anything LIFE threatening, but might be good enough to give her a reason to kill you three. :D

Have fun with your dares!  
*throws key over to Toni, but misses, and it lands inside France's mouth, halfway to being swallowed*

Oops...By the way, did you ever realise you've been spelling my name wrong? XD 

"FICKEN! She, uh, had me kidnap the Baltics to get Russia over to her house. But since Russia was busy with Spain, it didn't work."

"Ok~" Florina of Ilia said, leaving.

Toni sat up. "How far did it get? Do I have to call that guy my onii-chan uses?"

"What..."

"The tattoo remover, duh."

"Not too far," Prussia said, examining it. "Just a small red mark."

"Oh, good," Toni said, brushing off her new leather biker jacket. "This would have been really hard to explain..."

"Ja, and un-awesome."

Toni grabbed the key from France. "Danke, Preußen."

Spain paled. "Do that to poor Roma~?"

Toni grinned. "Don't worry, Spanien. I have a plan..."

~later~

Spain came out of Toni's lab covered in blood, holding a knife.

"It is done."

Toni exited behind him, smirking.

"I just can't believe that Romano wasn't cursing you out while you did that...or that he wasn't screaming," Prussia said. "Keeping your secret is un-awesome."

Toni's smirk grew. Romano exited the lab, peeling fake abrasions off of his face.

"Never underestimate the power of the Avengers SFX department, ja?"

~Meanwhile, wherever France is~

"Allo Amerique~"

"WOAH! Dude, France!" America yelled, covering his eyes. "The hell, dude?"

"I just wanted to give you these, Amerique~"

America took the condom from France. "Dude...what were you smoking and can I have some?"

"Onhonhonhon~"

~Meanwhile with Prussia~

"Lassen Sie mich hier raus, bitte Toni?"

"Nein~ Regeln sind Regeln, Preußen~"

"GOTTVERDAMMT."

"Fuck, sorry!" Toni said, looking at her posts. "I'll fix that immediately~"


	144. Bururu 24

"All right," Toni said. "Number two...and that sounded wrong."

**Merci beaucoup!  
Yes, I'm much better now.  
France, make a list of all the countries you haven't had a relationship or sex  
with.  
And show moi!**

Um, Tonia, can you go tell America that McDonalds are banned in some towns of  
his? Record his reaction. I also want to see if I can hear his screams from my  
house. (I'm a few states away from Washington D.C.)

Spain, say that you hate Romano and tomatoes. To his face. And then... go hug  
'im.  
Prussia, have a make out session with N. Italy. /is now a PruIta shipper/

Okay, I'm good!  
-Bururu

France stared at the ceiling, thinking. "Um...only one," he said. "Mon peitit Mathieu...I raised him, and I'm not a pedophile. Unlike Espagne~"

"I'm not a pedophile!"

Toni grinned. "Of course I will. It is mu duty as the Vegetarian population of America~"

She grabbed her video camera and took off.

~Toni and America~

"Hey America," Toni said, zooming in.

"What now, dudette? I'm still mad at you for siccing Black Widow on me."

"You brought that on yourself~"

"Whatever. What is it?"

"McDonald's is banned in some of your towns~!"

"WHAT!? How can they call themselves Americans! I'm going to have to go have a talk with the States right now!" He took off running. Toni giggled.

~Back at the house~

"Right, I have returned," Toni said. "Spain. Go now."

"Do I have to?"

"It's a dare, and you know what that means~"

"Fine."

~With Spain and Romano~

"Roma. I have something to tell you."

"Tch...what now, Tomato bastardo?"

"Don't call me the tomato bastard anymore! I hate you! And tomatoes!"

Romano's face went blank.

"Kidding, love you Roma~" Spain said, giving Romano a hug.

"GET OFF ME TOMATO BASTARDOO!"

~With Toni, Prussia, and Italy~

"I don't know who you are," Toni muttered darkly, toying with one of her many tools. "But I will find you and I will kill you."

Prussia stared sideways at Italy. "West is gonna kill me."

Well, it ended up happening ((Sorry I'm horrible at writing Yaoi, use your imagination)) and Toni threw a knife into the wall.

"Your brother's going to kill you for that?"

"Really? Is he?" Toni asked innocently.


	145. Ukraine 6

"This is turning into a very interesting weekend," Toni said.

**Ukraine:The UN is made of 193 countries. However, 196 are considered sovereign  
nations, and there are over 200 "countries" nowadays in the Olympics.**

I figure that North America would be easy to know since there's only three  
main countries (US, Can... who? and Mexico) plus Cuba, Haiti, Dominican  
Republic, Jamaica and the Bahamas, and South America has 12 countries TOTAL.

*giggles at France* Imagine Fem!Brazil playing futbol, wearing one of those  
loose-fitting uniforms...

...and you thought you could hear ME walking up... 

France immediately began nosebleeding.

"I guess that's true," Toni said. "About the countries, that is. Imagine how horrible my job is...I have to make sure evil scientists and my nemeses like Loki and such don't find out about you guys AND make sure that nobody can kidnap you or anything!" Toni said in one breath. "It's stressful!"

"I...wow, there's just no words for that, liebe."

"There isn't," Toni said, collapsing back into the couch. "It's tough. I have a life other than school and doing these dares, ya know...I visit my onii-chan every once in a while."


	146. Romania 5

"Ok," Toni said. "Number five...almost done."

**Kekekekeke I knew you'd admit it one day Hungary! B***h! You are now obligated  
by dare power to wear that shirt to the next world meeting! Oh and um Bulgaria  
is after Prussia with herr stick because of the yogurt thing so meh. Whatever.  
On to the important stuff now! Like the authoress being so nice to instill my  
torture upon the BTT! *busts through the window and glomps then fixes the  
window* Now that I'm here I can tell you all your dares in person. France I  
dare you to make a blood donation to the Romania is hungry fund. I already got  
Hungarian b***h so on to Prussian. Look out for Bulgaria and I dare you to  
have a threesome with your trio in front of Igi when I leave. Spain, I dare  
you to profess your true feelings to Romano RIGHT NOW! Kk. Cool. I think I'll  
stick around for a while and hang with my own trio. *Goes to find England* **

"Thank you for the glomp!" Toni said. "I feel loved~"

"Quoi?" France asked, paling. Toni smirked.

"Do you know where the upstairs lab is? The one Bruce-Dr. B.- was using when the fam was staying here?"

"Uh...oui, I think I do."

"Then go up there," Toni said. "He does biology in there, so you should be able to find everything you need."

"Quoi? Why alone? That place is creepy."

France left.

Spain blushed. "I've told him many times, he just never takes me seriously..."

"We're working on that," Toni said, smirking. "W-What?" she paled. "A-A threesome? With them?" she pointed at the now smirking BTT.

"Yes, that is the dare," Romania said. Toni blushed.

"I thought nobody would remember that I ship them as a threesome!"

"Too bad~"

"Norway and England? Ja, I think they're round here somewhere," Toni said, bringing a tissue to her nose. "Just go search around. They know I love them, so they'll be, I dunno, somewhere."

"Ok, Vă mulţumim."

"Welcome~"

Romania left, and Toni slammed a wad of tissues onto her face.

"God...I have no idea what to think of this..."


	147. Soarra 10

"ALL RIGHT, LAST ONE!"

"Woot! Awesome!"

**HULLO PEOPLEZ. I AM A VERY HAPPY AND SANDY PERSON! :D I bring shells and  
interesting tales of when I went adventuring.*hands out pretty black and white  
shells* Well, first my annoying schwester, sorta-schwester and I found this  
pit that was so fricking deep that if Prussia was standing in it the top of  
the walls would come up to just below his shoulders. Awesome, right? We  
decided to work on it. During that, I found a dead horseshoe crab. Then I  
found an alive one and my schwester somehow got it in a large bucket. I named  
it Gilbert. XD But when I was body surfing I saw Gilbert be carried off to  
become seaffood. R.I.P. Gilbert. May he be reincarnated as the hunter instead  
of the hunted.  
And my long beach rant is done. But I'm still feeling very happy and awesome.  
I'm gonna give you guys some beach dares.*lounges on beach chair*  
Well first Toni gets a card that allows her to get any swimsuit she wants.  
Cause I'm awesome like that.  
France has to go to a beach filled with bikini clad girls. He cant speed ANY  
l'amour. Toni has to monitor him.  
Spain has to make Romano wear a tomato swim suit and then ask him to takea  
walk on the beach. I LOVED THAT KISS! SPAMANOOOOO!  
Prussia has to find me a new Gilbert. Yayz!  
By the way, I'm gonna go look at Russia's blog. Yay, no more blood rusted  
pipe!  
Soarra **

"Fear not!" Prussia said. "Your awesome little friend is awesome! So he'll come back as awesome, like..a hawk or an eagle or something!"

Toni giggled. "You do realize there's an eagle on your flag?"

"Exactly, liebechen."

"Oh, I see~. Any swimsuit I want?" Toni thought for a bit. Then her eyes lit up. "I've got it."

She ran off into the bathroom.

"Preußen will love this~"

Prussia smirked. "I bet so...she did live with her brother, after all."

Spain gave him a look that radiated "No shit Sherlock" while France got what Prussia was sinsinuating and smirked. Toni returned in a swimsuit that looked more like a crop top shirt with a pair of briefs. But the important part was that the suit was black and white striped, in horizontal stripes, and the shirt had the Prussian eagle on the center. Prussia grinned.

"I do love it! It's awesome!"

Toni grinned. "I designed it~ Nowww, let's go to the beach, Francey-pants!"

"The awesome me is coming with you," Prussia declared, following them. Spain got up and left with them.

~later~

"Hmph...I don't like this bathing suit, but this isn't as bad as I thought it would be, tomato bastardo."

Romano was wearing swim trunks with little tomatoes on them.

Prussia held up a horseshoe crab. "The new awesome Gilbert!"

Toni pulled up her sunglasses and looked up from her book.

"No, you're the only awesome Gilbert~"


	148. xXASilverCoinlololXx 4

"GAH!" Toni said, rubbing a towel through her hair. "I thought that was the last one!"

"What, another one?" Prussia asked, leaning over Toni's shoulder as she peered at her StarkPhone. "These things come in at an un-awesomely fast rate..."

**OHLAWDY THAT LAST CHAPTER HAD ME SQUEALING. HOLY HELL. I WAS SQUEALING. WOW.**

OKAY! Hopefully no more squealing yet because I'm eating ice cream.. Anyways.  
I have a dare from a 'friend' who doesn't speak out loud lately, so she told  
me to make it from both of us. Basically, she just wants to find out if you  
guys can die from alcohol poisoning. So she said to lock yourselves in a fully  
stocked bar for the night. Sounds fun, eh? I guess she decided she likes you  
guys, because Gho isn't nice to anyone... Oh. And I almost forgot. I want a  
kiss from America D: please. I would fangirl to death, Toni. Do you know that  
feeling? Yes. So! Have fun, amigos 

"Ja, I know that feeling," Toni muttered. "I get it whenever Preußen even talks to me."

"Challenge accepted," Prussia said. Toni pointed to a room.

"It belongs to my onii-chan, it's fully stocked in every kind of alcohol imaginable, believe me."

"Awesome!" Prussia cheered, dragging the rest of the BTT inside. "See ya later, Tonia!"

Toni sighed. "Fuck...I wanted to watch DKR with them..."

~the next morning~

"GOTTVERDAMMT, PREUßEN. Did you vomit in the sink?"

"Uhm...ehe...ja."

"I have to clean that..."

"Spain pissed on the circuit board!" Prussia said defensively. Toni's jaw dropped.

"Sheiße! That board controls everything in the house, and I mean everything. Including the system that keeps the cores ready for my heart, dummkopf!" she said, pointing to her chest where one could now see a circle of electric blue light. Prussia paled.

"Things are still working, right?"

"Ja, I think so," Toni said. "But in the future, don't piss on that, don't shit on it, don't even touch it. Unless you want me to die a painful death. AND THIS IS NOT," she added, "An invitation for the reviewers to dare me to turn it off for a day. This is real life or death. CPR cannot save me from this like with meat. The ONLY thing that will help is a new Starkium core, and almost all the ones in the state are in my lab. THIS IS CLEAR?"

"Oui..."

"Si..."

"Ja..."


	149. Bururu 25

"Hm," Toni said, taking off her headphones. Strains of Prussia's version of Einsamkeit echoed from the small speakers. "And another one...they keep coming."

**I know this is a bit late... (147 chapters late actually)  
but I wanted to say...  
Tonia...  
I WANT YOUR "KEEP CALM" BAG.**

Okay so yeah.  
You'll never find me! (I'll give you a hint:My state's personification is the  
"big brother", elder figure of New England.)  
France, Prussia, Spain, GO WATCH THE HUNGER GAMES IN ALL ITS AWESOMENESS.  
France, you've done ***(or had a relationship) with BELARUS?  
And SWITZERLAND?  
AND LIECHTENSTEIN? WITHOUT GETTING SHOT OR BRUTALLY MURDERED?  
HOWEVER DID YOU DO IT?  
/bows to France/ Senpai!  
-Bururu 

"Fssh," Toni snorted. "Of course the bag is awesome. And France has done it with everyone...whether they know it or not. Imagine exactly how that happened."

"Onhonhonhon~"

"You know it's true. ERMAHGERD THE HUNGER GAMES! I TOTALLY HAVE THE BLU-RAY AND OMG OMG OMG COME ON LET'S GOO!" Toni fangirled. She grabbed the DVD.

"Cmoncmoncmoncmoncmon..." she leaped over onto the couch. "Get the popcorn OMG."


	150. Soarra 11

"GUYS I JUST REMEMBERED!"

"Que?"

"Hollywood Bowl tonight with friends plus fam. And we have an email."

"Ja?"

**Yayz! *looks at tank with new Gilbert* I like my new Gilbert! Danke Prussia!  
But I swear my creativity is gone. I have no idea what to ask or dare! It  
sucks... But I have been wondering this for a while. For all of you which one  
of my dares/questions was your favorite?  
Soarra **

"I liked the bathing suit one," Toni said, smiling slightly. "That was supposed to be his birthday present, though..."

"So what else did you get me?" Prussia asked.

"Oh, shut it," Toni said, giving him a playful shove. "Your birthday isn't until January. You can wait."

"Aw~"

"Well, I liked making Roma wear that dress again~ He was so cute~"

Romano randomly walked in and kicked Spain.

"Te amo demasiado, Roma~"

"Tomato bastard..."

"Onhonhon! Well I liked re-enacting that fight with Angleterre," France said, smirking. Toni rolled her eyes.

"Whatever..."

"Hey, Toni?"

"What?"

"...do we have to go to the Hollywood Bowl with you?"

"JA. Prussia, the Austrian is going to be there. We can tag-team. France, there's going to be people. And Spain, there's a restaurant with TOMATOES."

"Fine. I see how it is."


	151. Oklahoma

"Kesesese~!" Toni giggled. "America, have you not taught your children about the nasty? Fem!Icey didn't know until she got her period!"

"What...?"

**Oklahoma:Dear Bad Touch Trio,  
Hi! I'm Oklahoma, one of America's many kids, pleased to meet y'all! Eh, well  
at least Prussia...I already know France and Spain...*slight glare and  
mutters* **ing Louisiana Territory my **...**

Anyways, I wanted to ask y'all, because I'm related to Spain, France, Britain  
and America, am I-and my siblings-y'all's...kids? Because I've never heard of  
a four w-*Clamps hand over mouth and blushes* N-nevermind...

**((Sorry, continueing...)  
How's life in Europe? It's been so hot down in the south. I swear, if I hadn't  
lived here my whole life I would be a melted Popsicle.**

So, see y'all later!

-Maria Jones, Oklahoma

"I'll take this one, guys," Toni said, giggling. "My brother...well, the profile on his twitfeed has the word 'Playboy' in it. I think I can handle this."

_**This is absolutely true. Check out the Iron Man twitfeed! (Twitter!) **_

"Well," Toni said, trying not to giggle. "There is such a thing as a four way. But A.) It's impossible for guys to get pregnant..." a thought rose to Toni's mind and she giggled. "Unless it's Loki. And B.) Only two people can produce a baby. So ja, a four way can make a kid. But only two will be the parents!"

"Something tells me you didn't learn this in Biology..."

"You're questioning this? You're the Bad Touch Trio!"

"Europe? C'est bien," France said. "We're with Toni in California right now, though~"

"It's not that hot around here," Toni said, gulping another milkshake. "But it is pretty hot...that's why I'm drinking these things all the time!"


	152. Romania 6

"Hey, Romania!"

"Hi~"

***Comes out of the basement* Igi! Me England and Norway are doing a seance and  
wanted to know if there was a dead person you wanted to talk to while we try  
to figure out how to fix the gender-bending problem. Oh and I have a dare for  
Prussia. Prussia I dare you to give a lock of your hair so I can make a voodoo  
doll of you and stick pins in it. If you feel a sharp pain at random intervals  
or in future chapters it's because of me. Kekekekeke! Oh, Spain I think I have  
a solution for you! Well, actually it was Norway's idea. He whipped up a small  
potion that will make anyone tell the truth. Slip a bit in Romano's drink and  
you'll find out for sure whether he loves you or not. Oh and Hungary, still  
hating from Romania! Kekekekeke!**

Toni's eyes lit up. "Finally! I can talk to NIKOLA GODDAMN TESLA, my IDOL! I can have an argument- I mean, talk to my father! I never met him, but onii says...well, onii says a lot of things."

"Gracias~" Spain said, taking off with the potion. Toni smirked.

"You can find some of his hair in his brush, if he's not willing. A dare is a dare."

"All right, thank you."

"I'll go wait in the basement, then, well you do that?"

"Sure."

"Just warning you, it might get a little...strange and awkward."

"It's fine."

"Danke~!" Toni called taking off down the stairs.


	153. Aine and Arata

"Ok...we have to go soon," Toni said. "In a few hours, though. And we have one."

**Dear BTT,  
Aine and Arata: Oh s***! We...LOVE THIS fanfic! XDDD  
Aine: Mein gott! That was hilarious!  
Arata: Hahahahaha. XD  
Both: On to the dares from the Little Devil Siblings. :3**

Prussia: Eat 5 boxes of Peeps.  
Spain: Please go back to Pirate self! then kidnap Belgium and become one with  
her then face Holland's wrath.  
England and All Doctor Who Fans in the Fanfic: Which actor was your fave  
Doctor Who?  
America: Rumour has it you love Israel (Aine's girl OC)? Is this true? Because  
if it is, you better be ready to get in a war with Palestine (Israel's  
brother).  
Toni: Pick out of these two Avengers pairings-Hawkeye/Black Widow or Captain  
America/Black Widow?  
England: Go back to Pirate!self then Punk!self.

Aine: That's all for now.  
Arata: Continue on with the story!  
Both: Bye! 

"Psh, Matt Smith is my favorite Doctor ever, because he's my first!" Toni said. Then she blushed. "That sounded so wrong...Oh, and BlackHawk. Hawkie totally has a crush on Tash~"

"...they're upstairs, you know that right?"

"Ja. HELLO HAWKIE~!"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!"

"Kesesese~" Toni giggled. "Prussia...Peeps."

"Peeps? Noo!" Prussia whined, but he began to eat anyway.

"FIVE FrUKING BOXES!" Toni said, sweatdropping angrily. "That'll make my life a living hell!"

Spain grinned evilly. "Aye~"

Toni gave him a blank look as he took off in his old pirate gear.

England looked in. "Tonia, he says to tell you not to call him that when he's not around, either."

Toni giggled. "Heh~ Oh, hey, England, who's your favorite Doctor? You know, from Doctor Who?"

"That's a tough one...I don't think I can choose a favorite," England said. "I've seen every single episode of Doctor Who, you know."

"Sensei!" Toni declared, bowing. "And I know London's favorite is #10~"

"Why are you so happy today?" Prussia asked.

"Oh! Well, I heard that this campaign to make Tesla's old laboratory into a museum has raised enough money to buy the place!"

"That's awesome!" Prussia said. "We need to visit~"

"Ja, we do," Toni said. "It's not built yet, but until then I will give the readers this link (which is the reason NIKOLA GODDAMN TESLA is my role model."

**AND HERE IT IS → theoatmeal comics / tesla Take out the spaces. Warnings: Overuse of the word "douche" and lazer pigeons. Oh, and NIKOLA GODDAMN TESLA. ~Toni **

**P.S. Ok, I know, advertising. BUT THIS...mein gott... ~Toni**

"Aye," England said. Toni blushed and blew her nose.

"I like Punk!Iggy better," she said in a muffled voice.

"That true, love?" England said seductively. Toni flushed and shoved another tissue onto her face. 4

"America's not here because I have an argument going with him. I'll make sure to ask."


	154. Illinois and New York

"SON OF A BITCH!" Toni said, dropping her StarkPhone.

"Toni, I'm amazed your phone didn't break considering how high you jumped before dropping it."

"StarkPhones are resiliant little critters," she responded, picking it up.

"What scared the crap out of you anyway, liebe?"

"This," Toni responded, handing the phone to Prussia.

**Note, From now on, my letters will be sent in from Illinois(Female) and New  
York(Male)**

Illinois- Bonjour Pere! Louisiana says hello  
New York- and Mississippi called you all bastards.  
Illinois- And since you and your friends are now taking dares, we decided to  
offer you some. First, you (France) must have a saucy make out session with  
Toni.  
New York- Then you can beat up England for being an a-  
Illinois- Then, Spain must tango with Romano with one of you cross dressed as  
a beautiful latin dancer while Spain whispers sweet nothings into Romano's ear  
New York- Then you can beat up England for being an a-  
Illinois- And lastly, Prussia must eat this delicacy Miss Philippines showed  
to us called balut I think you'll like it  
New York- And then you can beat up England for being an a-  
Illinois- Well, that's all. Bye-bye ;) *blows a kiss and winks in a seductive  
manner* 

"Ah, bonjour!" France said.

"Shit, shit, shit, shieße, merde..."

France pulled Toni over, as Prussia glared.

~Time skip so you don't have to suffer through my FAIL pre-smut. I fail at this -_-~

"Mein Gott," Toni said, wiping her face. "You were raised by him, weren't you?"

"Oui~"

"Oh fuck, France has mini-mes."

~Meanwhile~

"Why am I wearing this damn dress, tomato bastardo?"

"Oh Roma~"

"CHIGII!"

~Another meanwhile~

"HAH!" Toni cheered. "CAUGHT ONE!"

"Was?" Prussia asked.

"You want to know what that stuff you were going to eat is?"

"Ja, was ist es?"

"It..." Toni paused dramatically and pivoted the laptop so he could see the images, "Is a fertilized duck egg."

"WAS? Keine Chance!"

"Oh, ja, it's true~"

"So I have to EAT this?" Prussia asked. "This is worse than peeps!"

"EAT IT OR SLENDERMAN WILL GET YOU!"

"Shieße!"

"Hah~"

"I hate you so much right now."

"Ich liebe dich auch~"


	155. Romania 7

"And they just keep coming~"

**England, once your done with that me and Norway need you back downstairs! We  
think we found out how to undo the gender bending. Oh by the way Spain, what  
did Romano say when you used that potion? I'm curious to know! And Igi did you  
enjoy your chat with the dead? *glares at Hungary and grins mischievously  
showing off his fangs* Hello Hungary. *tense atmosphere sparking with hatred***

"It went bueno~" Spain said, smirking. "He said he likes me, what else~?"

"And that's why Spain is in a good mood!" Toni declared. "Hm? Oh, it went fine. Mr. Tesla is just as inspiring as I thought he would be. He kind of reminds me of my onii-chan, in fact. But it didn't go as well with my father. Heh, let's just say there was a fight. Norway knows. But I'd rather not talk about it..."

"Oh, that's good," England said. "I'll be right there~"


	156. MeinGottItsSofia

"Keep going...must keep going so I can stay awake to fight Slenderman when he comes for me..."

"What is all this about schlanker Mann all of a sudden?"

"The Austrian was talking about Slenderman at the Hollywood Bowl, when you weren't there."

"Oh..."

**Hi Toni!  
Don't you think it's kind of annoying how everyone still calls you Igi?  
Kesesesese  
Anyway, here are dares I would like you guys to do, an a request from Toni:  
1) France - You are going to be locked up in a room with roses, England, and  
wine. No barriers. But you are only allowed to touch the floor and walls and  
air. If you go pervy on England or look at him "that way", you become forever  
alone.  
2) Prussia - Go to Austria's house. In front of Hungary, laim his vital  
regions anyway you like. But don't resist Hungary's frying pan.  
3) Spain - Tell Germany and Romano that you have moved on and now are crushing  
on Feliciano. Make it sound convincing. Then suffer the consequences.**

Oh and Toni? Use your magic authoress powers or whatever and summon me. I want  
to tell England that I love him and ask him out. (Yea I am a hardcore England  
fangirl. Also the BTT and various others. Also I'm Austrian Italian Russian  
and Polish. I know it's a very weird combination.) And Iron Man FTW!  
-MeinGottIt'sSofia 

"Not really," Toni said, shrugging. "I mean, it's pretty easy to confuse me and my onii-chan in writing- only one letter apart, see, and the pronunciation is the same. Sometimes it's just easier. NOW FRANCE MUST GO."

"Mon dieu, non!"

Toni shoved France into the room. "Have a nice day, thank you for doing business with Stark~"

"Kesesese~! The awesome me can do that!"

"FOR PRUSSIA!" Toni called out as he ran off.

~Meanwhile~

"The hell, tomato bastard? I'm going to fucking kick your ass."

"Ehe..."

"Ja, this is unheard of, everyone knows you've liked him since forever," Germany said, pointing to Romano.

"Shut up, potato bastard!"

~With Toni~

"Ja, sure. Psh, my family tree makes America look like a manwhore. Prussian-American, Croatian-American, British-American...kesese, UsUk." Toni summoned her.

"England's kinda busy with Magic Trio business right now, but you can hang around til he's done..."


	157. BTTFangirl14 17

"Ke. Se. Se. Se."

**Hey I went to the hetalia ask a nation panel today...SO FUN I told England  
that I liked British food and I could see his friends. He liked me and  
everyone on the panel looked at me like I was crazy and I was going to die.  
When I said I've eaten British food without dying, Spain said I was immortal  
XD good times anyways  
I be dared as well?  
2. The song is my heart has light  
Bye **

"HOLY SHIZNUTS ME TOO!" Toni said. "WE ARE AWESOMELY IMMORTAL, JA!"

"But you're British, liebe," Prussia pointed out.

"Only part British. And that still makes me immortal. Ja, I guess people can dare you. I dunno. All right...SHIT I HAVE TO FINISH THOSE MATH PROBLEMS TOMORROW. Remind me, Prusse!"

"Ja..."

"DANKE~!"


	158. xXASilverCoinlololXx 5

"Ah, danke Silver~"

**This is hilarious.**

I will never quit reading it.

Hey, Tonia? Can I have a milkshake? No one here will buy me one D: And I have  
questions. no dares, too lazy for them.

Prussia: Do you like Canadaaaa? D: I need to know. For my sanity.  
Spain: What would you do if I told you I had a room full of tomatoes but I  
won't eat them because I don't like tomatoes?  
France: Why are you so damn perverted? 0-0  
Tonia: Besides Avengers, HG, and Sherlock Homes, what's your favourite movie? 

"Sure," Toni said. "Questions are faster, and it's getting late. So it's fine. Have a milkshake~"

"Canada? He's a pretty cool guy, once you get to know him. But not in the...un-awesome Yaoi sort of way."

"Que?! I will take them for you!"

"It is not pervertedness, it is amour~"

"Hm...oh, I know! HARRY POTTER! If Doctor Who was a movie, I would pick that, though."


	159. Soarra 12

"All right...two to go, then we can go to bed~"

"Who goes to bed at midnight? You party!"

"I do, because I'm going to have nightmares about Slenderman anyway."

**I am a very happy person. I just finished a Nordics drawing that I'm gonna put  
a my binder for school. Its awesome. Almost more than Prussia. Hey Toni? Don't  
you hate hetalia haters? You know, the ones that write really mean stuff in  
the comments of the hetalia videos? Ive been fighting with one so I hope you  
don't mind if something freakish happens in the dares.  
Kolkolkolkolkolkolkol...  
France, you have to go up to Belarus, drag her into a dark locked room then  
tell her that you love her but hate big brother Russia(just Russia for you).  
Then you have to stay in that room for an hour. That'll be fun, da? J Not to  
mention, it will rid big brother of her for an hour.  
Spain, you have to get a tattoo of a tomato with Romano's name on it. But then  
you have to show Romano. I'm voting for black eye.  
Prussia, you have to go ask big brother Russia to become one. I'm sure he'll  
be very happy.  
Toni, if you're wondering why I never give you dares its because Prussians  
need to stick together. I don't know any other Prussians so if you die from a  
Russian dare Ill be alone.  
Bye! Soarra J **

Toni headdesked. "I wish I had artistic talent. I really wish. AND HETALIA HATERS CAN GO DIE. THEY ARE UN-AWESOME LOSERS."

"Quoi! Non!"

"Ehe...France, you know the rules!"

"Merde..."

"Into the room!" Toni said dramatically. Spain was looking over his body, contemplating the placement of his new tattoo.

Toni shoved France into the room. "Hah~"

"NEIN I WILL NOT BECOME ONE WITH HIM AGAIN."

"Prussia...the rules apply to you too, even if you are my boyfriend. Sorry."

"Ugh...this time he'll kill me for sure. Ich liebe dich, Antonia."

"Ich liebe dich auch, Preußen."

Prussia left.

Spain was back, and examining the new tattoo.

"Did you show it to Romano?"

"Si."

"Didn't he, like, punch you or something?"

"No, he liked it~"

Toni had an idea of how he expressed that, but she didn't ask.


	160. Florina of Ilia 5

"What th-FFF MMMPH!"

**((Time to be evil! :D))**

Aw, it didn't work out as I planned *sad face*. Oh well... I AM a Spamano fan, after all. :D But, you know, it's not every day you see Spain being dominant and sadistic, am I right?

And damn, I'll get you next time, Toni, just you wait...(I suggest you be afraid now XD)

...I am dreading Tuesday. School. Why Tuesday, of all days? ...Oh, that gives me an idea! But not now, soon, soon...*smirks, while sharpening knives*

Anyways, I'm not here to tell you about how much I dread school. I'm here to make you guys do things that are at least somewhat painful, and perhaps unorthodox. Oh yeah, I remember reading something quite interesting earlier...

Although it was in Japanese, it gave me a good idea for a dare... *runs in out of nowhere and covers Toni's mouth (so she can't scream), while sticking a rag dipped in chloroform to her face to force her to breath it, and soon knocks her unconscious and drags her away, somewhere...* ((search chloroform up on Wikipedia if you're not sure))  


"Sheiße!" Prussia exclaimed. "Toni!"

"The chica is rather tough, Prusia~"

"Doesn't mean I can't worry about her, Spanien!" Prussia snapped.

"Oh look, mes amis, there's more."****

[Spain cannot read this next part]  
*sometime later, like, 30 minutes, comes back to the BTT, pulls Spain away from France and Prussia, and tells them (Prussia and France) their dare*

So, you guys know how scary Spain gets when he gets completely drunk? Well, I want you to get Spain drunk in a small, locked, confined room that can barely fit the six of you, with...America, Russia, and England. *brings said three in*Yes, you all have to be in the same room. Drunk.

I suggest you do this...I really, really do. Because if you don't, you might never see Toni like this ever again *laughs evilly*

As in...*brings out her laptop, which reveals Toni, who is currently dangling about 5 metres over a large vat of liquid nitrogen, and is tied to Austria with chains, and in a way that she is forced to face him, while upside down (so in short, Toni is facing Austria while dangling by chains over a large vat of liquid nitrogen)The chains are somewhat wrapped around a metal beam that is coming out of the wall*

Too bad they didn't sell lava, or hot cheddar, or liquid mercury; but hey, I can at least preserve the moment, right?

Anyway, if you don't get Spain super-extremely-scary-while-drunk within 28 minutes, 27 seconds, I'll start lowering them into the vat! So you better hurry; Austria's and Toni's lives **depend on your choice.**

...I heard that when he's scary like that, it's bad enough to make SWEDEN change his expression...So, I suggest you hurry, because you started a minute ago. And 25 seco-no, wait, make that 23, 22, 21 seconds...  
*walks away to Spain*

And then...[This is for Spain's ears only, so I pulled him away from the other two earlier on]

Spain, your dare is simple; just stay away from Prussia, France, America, England, and Russia for the day; got it? Try to run away from them, and don't ask any questions. Don't listen to them, nor Toni or Austria if you should hear her. Alright, I suggest you start running now. *pushes him out the front door*

*walks back to Prussia and France after*

Just hurry up now, or I'll start lowering the chains. Oh yeah, if anyone else finds about this, I'll drop them in right then and there. Or if you guys hurt me or break my laptop, the chain will be cut off from the beam. *Leaves laptop on kitchen counter* You're free to check out my laptop, but it won't help you at all; it's just filled with BTT, USxUK (I just love this pairing so much :x), and Final Fantasy Versus XIII stuff. *smiles*

You've got 27 minutes, 53 seconds left, France and Prussia! :D Good luck! *will start lowering them into the vat in 27 minutes, 42 seconds. And I will lower them FAST, not the lame, slow kinds; you got pretty much 3 seconds. Yes, it's been 11 seconds since you started reading this sentence.* :D

Ah, I should probably stop popping at your house randomly...so time consuming. Oh well, good luck you five! *walks outside to look around the surrounding area* 

"SON OF A BITCH!" Prussia yelled, looking at the video feed.

"GOTTVERDAMMT PREUßEN YOU HAD BETTER GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE OR ELSE!"

"Well, that's the real Toni," France observed. Spain was already running.

"Mein Gott! SPAIN!" Prussia yelled.

"We obviously need to corner him, mon ami." France said.

"PRUSSIA! GODDAMMIT I'M GOING TO DIE WITH AN AUSTRIAN NEXT TO ME THIS IS NOT HONORABLE!"

"I feel so loved..." Austria muttered.

"Shut it, Chopin fanboy," Toni snapped back. She shut her eyes. "Goddammit, maybe dying in the crash would have been better."

"Wasn't that crash when she was only _ein_?" Prussia asked. "Never mind- we have to go find Spain."

"I think I'm going to start confessing before I die," Toni said calmly. Well, almost calmly.

~Spain~

Spain snuck around to the window, to see what Prussia and France were doing, if they were trying to follow him. He looked in the window, just as Prussia lifted the laptop to reveal...footage of Toni tied to Austria above some sort of tank. Spain squinted.

"I think I'm going to start confessing before I die," Toni said. Spain paled. _Die?_

"Mon ami, the only way is to fine Espagne and get him dead drunk!"

"First off, the number one thing I want to say before I die...Prussia, Onii-chan, I love you more than anything else..."

"Was die hölle do we do?"

"I would also like my suit to be either destroyed or given to my onii-chan..."

"Come on, Preußen, THINK!" Prussia said to himself.

"I'm not going to admit my deep, dark secret in case I actually live, which would be a miracle...oh, and Prussia, there's a file on my computer labeled #Dissolution, I made it for school and I think you should read it, ok? Ok. I think that's it."

"Mon ami, I have an idea. So here's what we do..." France pulled Prussia off to the sied and began to talk to him quietly.

~later~

Prussia and France took off out of the house.

"Espagne! Toni will die if you don't come here!"

"Ja! Mein awesome girlfriend, Spain!"

They ran off down the street, and Spain snuck into the house. They had left the laptop on the table, and there was a bowl of gummy bears and an unopened jug of tomato V8 on the island.

"Que?" Spain asked, picking up the V8. "It is obviously unopened,,,they could not have put anything in it. But the gummy bears, no."

Spain opened the V8 and began to drink...

Let's just say, Toni returned home and Spain was all seme and conquistador~

Yes, Prussia and France **(You bloody geniuses... ~Toni) **spiked the V8.


	161. Bururu 26

"Oops! Missed one!" Toni exclaimed. "Sorry!"

**Bloody hell.  
I think France just lost 125 fangirl points to Punk! Iggy and Pirate! Iggy.  
Oh dear God... I don't know anymore! England, I think you might have just beat the frog in my books!**

France... you better do something sexy in this story. Soon. Or you will lose your status of favorite character to England.  
Punk! Iggy and Pirate! Iggy... /fangirls and looks into distance dreamily/  
I just saw this creepy pasta episode for Lavender Town Syndrome... but I need to go to sleep for school tommorrow... fruk.  
England, how the FrUk did you go to sleep at night when you know about all these creepy creatures out there? AND YES I DO BELIEVE YOU ARTHUR I WANT TO BE ABLE TO SEE FLYING MINT BUNNY SO BAD. Why can't I have the sight...

I, uh, dunno... Oh yeah! Prussia, go have sex with Canada! And France, England, and America, you're allowed to murder him for defiling innocent Matthew.  
I just went to this Grecian Festival- so AWESOME. France, you should totally invite Greece into the Cooking Club. I mean, have you people even tried Spanakopita? SO GOOD. (Don't worry Tonia, it's known as "Spinach Pie". Basically, lots of spinach and cheeses. Go look it up if you want; I'M NOT LYING THIS TIME.)  
-Bururu 

"But the question is, why didn't I beat him earlier?" England asked. France glared at England.

"But mon ami, of course I will do something sexy. I am sexy~"

"Oh, shut it," Toni snapped.

"What? They're not all bad," England said. "Also...I have a protection ward on my house."

"Can I move in with you?" Toni said. "Slenderman is coming for me."

"What?"

"WHAT!?" Toni shrieked. "I will NOT allow it!"

Prussia shrugged. "If you'll all believe it, it was his idea...under that innocent surface...he's a complete and utter freak."

"...I raised him so well," France said. Toni made a face and buried her head in the couch pillow.

"My life is too strange...oh, ja, I've heard of Spanakopita."

"Oui, I will make a note of that~" France said. "And I will not murder Prusse." he gave England a warning look. England shrugged.

"What's his-CANADA- was raised by France..."


	162. Alaska 2

"Fuck...guys, I think I just shat myself."

"...can whatever you just heard really be that un-awesome?"

"Ja, it can."

**Hi  
*dumps truck of corn into Toni's house*  
One of these pieces of corn has a deadly unstable bomb in it. All you have to do is find it. :) And eat it. France shall eat it When his guts spatter everywhere, you will take a few pictures and send them to me, yes? It will probaly explode in... 30 min to 3 hours? I don't really know. That's why it's unstable**

I hate Austria, his accent is so annoying, yes? *sends big knife for Prussia*  
Here. Next time you see him, you hack off his nose

Next dare! I have hidden in your house. Find me. My father is also hiding in your house. If you don't find me within 10 min, he will introduce you to his pipe. :)

*Gives Spain a sunflower and some salt*  
Whack people on the head with this until you get a flesh wound at least 3 inches deep. Then put the salt in the wound. Fun

Also each of you have to suggest a human name for me. I don't have one, which makes me a little sad...

*sends a log cutter*  
Here. One of you gets to test this little device out *Turns it on* get on the platform, and we will see if the blades need to be sharpened.

Hmmm... What else... Oh!  
*Sends Latvia dressed up in a dog suit in a tiny cage with electric wires*  
Take care of this doggy for one day. If he is bad, just put him on the log cutter

Wait a second...  
*answers door*  
Lookie a mail!  
*picks up Prussia voodoo doll and rips it in half* Stress relievers are nice  
Well that is all for now.  
You like my dares, yes? J

до свидания,  
Your Friend Alaska 

"I see why you un-awesomely crapped yourself." Prussia said. But Toni had run into her lab, calling,

"Solutions are always in my lab, you guys need to learn that!"

Toni emerged a few seconds later, wearing her suit mask.

"How is that going to help?"

"It's simple and awesome," Toni said. "I can scan for the bomb corn."

"But then I have to eat it, and then Je vais exploser."

"I don't know, do you have a better idea?" Toni snapped, putting her mask on.

"All right...I got it!" She dug through the pile, lifting one out. "Like I said...the solution to everything is in my lab. I could find the secret to Warp Travel in there if I tried..."

"Have you invented Russia repellant?" Prussia asked. Toni shook her head.

"Unfortunately, no. But I can do this." she put her mask back on.

"I'm scanning for bodily heat, ja? The only people here are me, you three, Alaska, and Russia, wherever they're hiding. So we can locate him like this~! Being tutored by the Science bros is fun!"

"...science bros?"

"Ja, the pretty awesome Dr. Banner and my onii-chan," Toni responded, looking up.

"All right~! Oh, no, wait, that's not good."

"Where is he..."

"My closet."

"Well."

Toni raced up the stairs. There was the sound of a door opeing.

"Um...hello, Russia..."

"привет, Toni."

"And Alaska..." Toni paused. "What? How did Alaska get in the basement? I thought that the Magic Trio locked the door down there!?"

Russia shrugged. "I do not know how little Аляска got down there."

Toni slid down the banister.

"Hey guys, can I come in?" She asked. "If you don't let me in, Russia's going to beat me to death, seriously~"

The basement door opened and Toni went inside, getting Alaska out a few minutes later.

"Danke, guys~" she said, shutting the door.

"How do you get a flesh wound three inches deep with a sunflower?" Toni asked.

"No se," Spain responded.

"Anyway," Toni continued. "They'll do that, take my word, ok? Good? Good. Human names...I've got one! How about Aleksei Braginsky-Jones?"

"Nein, nein," Prussia said, stealing the Tablet from her. "You're on that website. Behind the name or something."

"Ja? So?"

"I don't know, but the awesome me gets input too." Prussia looked at the tablet for a bit. "Wie wäre es Dmitri?"

"I like mine better, because it's awesomer," Toni said, as France swiped the computer from Prussia.

"Oui, oui, let's see..." He said, scrolling through the page. "Oui! Ilya!"

"No, no wait!" Spain said. "Si, I've found it. It's perfect, si?"

Toni looked at the article Spain was pointing out and burst out laughing.

"Ja, Spain, I think you win."

"Oui, mon ami."

"That's pretty awesome."

"In case you're wondering, Alaska, the name I liked best was Kolya, si?" Spain said.

"All right, and I think eveyone is in agreement that the last name should be Braginsky-Jones." Toni said. "One more thing to do..."

Everyone stared at the log cutter.

"Keine Chance."

"Remember my saying?" Toni said. "Whatever you need can always be found in the..."

"Lab," the trio responded boredly. Toni vanished, and returned a few seconds later.

"All right, let's see." She said. She held up a block of some sort of stone. "I think this stuff might be one of the strongest minerals in the world, and will almost certainly get me a Nobel Prize. But I haven't got a saw..."

Prussia's jaw dropped. "You mean...you've got stinger missiles, Four cubic tons of Starkium core, a specialized Iron Suit...and you don't have a saw?"

Toni glared at him. "No."

"That...is so un-awesome for you!"

Toni jumped on the platform.

"I have my Iron legs on underneath," She explained, lifting her sweatpants. She pulled one of the Iron hands on, and placed the mystery mineral on the conveyor belt.

"Come on...come on. Please let it work..." Toni crossed her fingers, but unfortunately the saw sliced the mineral in half.

"Well, that's either a powerful saw or my tests are shit," Toni said. "That's it, and don't worry Latvia, we're not that mean."


	163. Bururu 27

"Ok," Toni said, raising her hands in a "Watch out, we've got a badass over here" way. "You reviewers are getting really, really creepy."

**你好！****  
Oh mon Dieu! I've seen that comic strip! I have it saved to my iPod's photos!  
So. Prusse. I hear you've been somewhat classified as a micronation. /bursts  
out laughing/  
I dare Prusse to the day with Sealand and nobody else! You two must become  
nation-wannabe buddies!**

Dieu, I think Russia, Ukraine, and Alaska have influenced me quite a bit... so  
from now on, either I give perverse dares, cruel dares, or SADISTIC dares.  
It's the Ukrainian in me! :D  
(No seriously I have some major Ukrainian heritage.)  
Espagne, get out a dull axe, and everybody has to obtain a wound from it at  
least 5 inches long and 3 inches deep. You are not allowed anything to numb  
the pain. You are not allowed anything to heal the wound any way but  
naturally. You are not allowed anything that will lessen pain or somehow make  
it not hurt. If the first wound is not deep enough or too deep, you must make  
another one, however, you are still not allowed to treat the first one  
medically in any way.  
Try not to bleed out! :)  
-Bururu 

"Stick with perverse," Toni said, hiding. "I need to be in top form, I'm sure you fangirls don't want nations to die, and it's kind of my job to be their bodyguard."

"Kese..."

"Actually," Toni said, "Sorry, mein liebe, but that's actually not true. If you're thinking of the Free State of Prussia, that is. Because that was the official name of the-" Toni paused, Putting her hands over Prussia's ears while he squirmed. "-the country that was dissolved in 1949. The name changed from Kingdom of Prussia to Free State of Prussia."

Prussia threw Toni to the other side of the couch. "The heck, frau!?"

"You will never know what I just said."

"Was it embarassing?"

"Nein...SONOFABITCH. Everyone run from Spain for the rest of the day! If you do, free...uh...IDONTKNOWJUSTRUN."

Spain came in with an axe. "Amigos..."

Toni eeped. "This is gonna be worse than-"

Strains of "Rette Mich" by Nena **(Go youtube it. This is how German should sound. ~Toni)** echoed from Toni's phone. She looked at the screen for a few seconds.

"OMGhowluckyisthatmyoniichanw antsmegottadash." She said, jumping out the window and running.

"Ich hasse dich, Toni!" Prussia yelled.

"Ich liebe dich auch, Preußen!" Toni called back, still running.

~later~

"SONOFABITCH THIS HURTS!"

"I did not mean to make it so deep, Prusia~"

"SHUT IT, SPANIEN!"


	164. Illinois and New York 2

"Maybe..."

**Illinois- Hmm, I hope you boys had as much fun with that as we did reading  
about it!  
New York- AHA!I'm surprised nunaya got a black eye from any of that stuff!  
Illinois- Speaking of injuries, we have another dare for you  
New York- It's a good one. The three of you have to go on a panty raid to  
steal all of the female nation's undies as well as Toni's but...  
Illinois- To make it more interesting, you have a hour long time limit. After  
that time limit is up, an alert will go out to all of the female nations AND  
any protective siblings of theirs that you three have stolen their panties,  
sooo...  
New York- Good luck with that. And I heard Miss Hungary just got a new cast  
iron skillet, and Switzerland got these new shotgun rounds that explode on  
impact!  
Illinois- And I'm not the only French spawn in the Americas.  
New York- Or the worst. God, I can't even remember the last time Louisiana was  
single... or dating only one person.  
Illinois- Never. Not even as a child.  
New York- Probably true...  
Illinois- Au revior until next time Pere and friends *Blows kisses and waves  
daintily* **

"I had fun with all the dares that weren't mine," Toni said directly. "Where are you guys-oh, screw it. Weirdos."

Not yet having finished reading, she set her StarkPad down and put on an episode of Supernatural.

~Later~

"YOU DID WHAT NOW!?"

"Exactly what we said, onhonhon~"

"FUCK, NOW SWITZERLAND AND HUNGARY AND NETHERLANDS AND ALL THAT FUCK ARE HEADED UP HERE TO KILL YOU. EVEN I CAN'T STOP THAT!"

"It was worth it, onhonhonhon~"

"I'M GOING TO STAB YOU, FRANCIS!"


	165. xXASilverCoinlololXx 6

"Stubbornness is awesomeness~"

"Since when?"

"Since the awesome Toni Stark said so~"

**YAYYYYYYY :D -slurps milkshake-**

-twitch- ;-; O-oh. WELL THAT MUST BE CHANGED. I WILL NOT QUIT THIS PAIRING.  
TOO STUBBORN FOR THAT.  
-throws a key at Spain's head- Take Lovi and go crazy ;D  
-stares at France- 0-e Yes, well your /amour/ is really scary.  
I haven't see those 0-0 I like 30 minutes or less though. It has Aziz Ansari.  
And comedy. Comedy's the best

Hm. Lazy again. 0-0 Um... Well Spain's occupied in the tomato room, so...  
Prussia, make out with Toni or something, and France... You have to stop being  
creepy for 48 hours. Maybe you can earn some cred in my book if you aren't so  
creepy. So we'll see. Anyways HAVE FUN WITH THESE AWESOME DARES! 

Spain was gone before Toni finished.

"Awesome! You're actually daring us to do that?"

Toni gave off a thumbs up. "Sorry, guys, I think Silver has taken the top spot as my favorite reviewer~!"

"It is not creepiness, it is amour! Amour is not scary!" France cried, snatching the tablet away from Toni, who was already kissing Prussia.

"But if it is a dare, I will have to. Mademoiselle Antonia cannot be so loving all the time~"

Toni broke the kiss.

"Shut it, Francis!"

France snickered.


	166. Soarra 13

"Seriously? I have soo much math! I HATE MATH!"

**Hullo. I just go home from my second day. I HAVE NO HOMEWORK! WOHOO! GOTT SEI  
DANK! As you can see I am very happy. :) I don't like homework and my mom has  
a TON. I had drama today so I'm also happy about that. You know what's funny  
Toni? At my school our foreign languages are Latin(which I am taking), German,  
Spanish, and French aka all the languages of the BTT are in there. It sucks  
how when I chose my language I hadn't watched APH...  
Anyway. Dares!  
To all of you, who do you think has to best rock bands America, England, or  
Germany?  
France, you cannot spread l'amour for a week.  
Spain, you have to act like Romano for 2 hours.  
Prussia, you have to babysit my little sister who is like a mix of Poland and  
America. *hands screaming brat* good luck.  
Toni, I decided on a themesong. Like how you have one. Has that changed? Its  
Ring Frei by LaFee. What do you think?  
Soarra **

"Well ja, that is because Spanish, French, and German are so awesome~!" Prussia said.

"Oooh, that is an awesome song," Toni said, pulling out her headphones. "And I googled the english lyrics, too~. I might blare that at onii-chan's place to intimidate Loki when he's on his stupid Parole or whatever the shit~"

"I say, Germany," Toni said decisively, "Because they have Nena, and that is how German should sound. It's awesome. Try it~?"

"But...I am already not spreading amour for two days..." France said. Toni grinned.

"Great, maybe you'll stop interrupting my dates with Preußen~?"

"Non. Never."

"Fuck off."

"Bastards," Spain muttered. Toni almost burst something laughing.

"Let's see what Romano says to this. Shall we~? Hey Romanooo!"

"Bastardo! Noo!"

"Sheiße!"

"Go in the other room, so I can make SPAMANOOOOO!" Toni said.


	167. Florina of Ilia 6

"Shieße! Merde! HIDE!"

"...was ist los?"

**Oh, so, so close. *sad face*  
But whatever; I at least got what I needed. Toni, if you aren't sure, check your upper back, around the left shoulder; I tattooed an 'I *insert heart shape here* Austria! Permanently tattooed it, while you were unconscious from the last dare. *smiles***

Also, I got photos of it, too. Photos you will never get from me at this moment...hehehe. :D They're very valuable, yes? Don't worry, I'll keep them safe.

Anyways, since I got school, I'll just make this quick.

[For Toni's eyes and ears ONLY]  
First, bring the Good Touch Trio (Romano, Germany, and Canada) over. Then, keep the BTT in three separate rooms, so they're alone in each room. After that, using your powers as the authoress, turn them into 7 year olds for the next 4 hours! (But they keep their memories, of course) Then let the GTT babysit the BTT. You are NOT allowed to help the GTT or the BTT in any way. Instead, just go out and shop, or something.

Also, make sure you record this experience with one of your security cameras or something, then send the footage to me. I mean, the BTT as 7 year olds? This should be GOOD. XD

Oh yeah, once the BTT turn back to their old selves, tell them that they have a dare as well.

[The BTT's Dare]  
Which is to make America cry. Yeah, you heard/read right. BUT, they have to be tears of sadness (not joy), and you can't hurt him. Or anyone else. It has to be emotional. And the BTT can't work together to make him cry, they have to work solo.

Because, the first person to make America cry will be EXEMPT from my next dare! :D Isn't that great? The last person to make America cry, though, will have to clean Toni's house.

Toni cannot help them(you guys) with this dare, either. If you REALLY need a hint, though, check out Canada's page on the Hetalia Wiki; it will help. BUT, you can only check out this hint if you still haven't made him cry after an hour since you three started this dare.

Anyways, good luck!

PS: By the way, have you guys seen Latvia? :D 

"SON OF A-" Toni cursed, checking her back. "Now I have to call that guy in Vegas my onii-chan uses, he's going to be freaked because I only look fifteen, shit, shit, shit...ROAD TRIP!"

"...was..."

"Ok, I'm going to leave you guys here for once while I go and get ready for our awesome road trip to Vegas. Rules are, you are not allowed in bars, casinos, nothing. We are there to see the Tat removal guy. And because I'm already in a bad mood, I'll be doubly-no, TRIPLY jealous, ja?" Toni said firmly. "America's coming with us, because of your second dare. NO COMPLAINTS. Go." Toni shooed them away, they scattered.

"JARVIS, make special recordings of the video footage from the moment I leave until I get home, ja?"

"Certainly, miss."

Toni pulled out her cell phone.

**Group Text: To: Doitsu, Roma, Canadia**

**From: Me **

**Hey guys, can you come keep an eye on the house while I go out? I got an emergency call from Onii and had no choice but to leave the BTT in there...I don't want my house leveled. Bitte? Danke!**

**~Toni~**

**To: Me**

**From: Doitsu**

**That was a stupid thing to do. But if it was truly an emergency...fine. **

**To: Me **

**From: Roma**

**What could be so important that I need to watch the tomato bastard for you? **

**...fine. **

**To: Me**

**From: Canadia**

**You remembered me? **

**Yes, of course I'll come see papa at your house. **

**Group Text: To: Doitsu, Roma, Canadia**

**From: Me **

**Thanks a million, guys! Door's unlocked.**

**~Toni~ **

Toni slid her phone into her pocked and slipped out the front door.

"With the power invested in me by FanFiction dot net, mein awesome bruder, and being Prussian, the BTT are now children until I return home! Oh, and they can keep their memories for the fun of it~"

Toni climbed on her motorbike and drove off. "Kesesesese~!"

~A few hours later...~

**From: Roma**

**To: Me **

**Gesu Christo, I'm going to kill you, Iron Man bitch.**

**From: Me**

**To: Roma**

**What are you talking about, Roma~? **

~When Toni got home...~

"HORY SHEET this footage is hilarious!"

"Why are you watching that, frau?"

"Because that was mein awesome dare!"

"YOU."

"Kesesesese~!" Toni giggled. "Prussia, why are you whacking Deutschland with a dildo? Even more importantly, where did you get a dildo?"

"Frankreich..."

"Mein gott," Toni said. "Brain bleach please, I haven't invented it yet."

"Heh, Entschuldigung frau."

"All right," Toni said. "Your dare is to make America cry. Like, real sadness crying. IF you don't want to do this, A.) It's a dare, B.) Remember what he said about my emo corner. Be my Avengers? Apart from my family, that is..."

"Ja, fine," Prussia said.

"All right, Road trip!" Toni declared. "Onii lent me the camper van~! Let's goo, VEGAS!"

"Where's America? If he's coming-"

"Oh, ja, he's waiting in the van," Toni said. "As a matter of fact, our camper is so freaking massive I invited my buddies the Nordics too~!"

"...Pourquoi...?"

"Because I am awesome. Now let's goo~!"

~Later~

"McDonalds are being shut down everywhere."

"Did Toni put you up to this, as revenge for liking Captain AWESOME America better than her brother?"

Toni shook her head. "I didn't~"

"Dudes, now I'm suspicious...OMG TONI, LOOK! IT'S LIKE FOR REALZ ANOTHER MCDONALDS!"

"NEIN!" Toni said exasperatedly.

"Ja, America, you eat too much."

"Haha...do not!"

"You kind of do, Amerique," France said. Spain had given up and was eating tomatoes.

"Do not!"

Toni put her headphones on and began humming Rette Mich.

"Toni, dude?" America asked. Toni pulled the headphones part off.

"I have no place here. I'm just going to go get this stupid tattoo off of my back." She slid her headphones back in, and changed the song she was listening to.

"What is she listening to?" America asked.

"It's Disco Pogo," Norway said from the passenger seat.

"I see..." Prussia said, smirking.

~later...~

"Quit being such a fatty, America!"

"Shut it," America said shakily. Toni suddenly dare-cockblocked the BTT by singing out the chorus to Disco Pogo.

"Disco Pogo, dingalingaling, dingalingaling, und alle atzen zing!"

Prussia burst out laughing.

"Hey, wait," Toni said, sitting down on the bed. "This is a first...this is the first episode of Ask a Bad Toucher to come from out of state!"

"Du hast recht, it is! That's awesome!"

"Well, I'm going to onii-chan's tat guy," Toni declared, standing up. "I'll pick up dinner on the way back, don't wait up~"

She took the Nordics with her as she left.

~Even LATER~

France came in first, Spain came in last. America was ultra-pissed at Toni for leaving him alone with them, but she just smiled and said, "Das was du tust haben schon viele versucht  
Mach dich schon mal warm oder fehlt dir der Mut  
Komm in den Ring und dann zeig was du kannst  
Erst spiel ich mit dir aber dann bist du dran."

Prussia smirked. "Nice."


	168. Michigan 5

"...and welcome to Ask a Bad Toucher, now on the road back to my house!" Toni said from the driver's seat as Prussia read her email.

**Michigan:...Now you see how bad it is over here, huh?**

France, I told you not to corrupt Illinois! As punishment, I dare you to have  
a messy make-out session with Licht... no. That would be too nice... Besides,  
I should save that one for Switzerland.

I dare you to have a messy make-out session with SEYCHELLES, followed by one  
with RUSSIA (Ukraine will do the yaoi taping for you, Hungary, so you don't  
have to risk your safety.), followed by one with SWEDEN and finally... *smiles  
evilly* Male!Vatican City.

Hungary, I don't think you have any yaoi of the Vatican, do you?

Also... I have a hunch that the HREGermany theory is wrong, and that HRE  
Vatican City instead. Since both HRE and Vatican City live in Rome and  
represent a major religion (unlike Germany...), France, I also want you to  
have the messy make-out session with him in front of North Italy.

Spain, I have nothing but respect for you, so I won't be daring you to do  
anything evil. Instead, expect some fun and somewhat easy dares from me. Heck,  
you're so good at running from Bulls that I think you could do it  
blindfolded... *winks at Illinois* 

"All right," Toni said. "Well, I think it might actually be a little crazier at America's house than at Avengers tower, that's for sure~"

"Dude. It's badass!" America said. Toni had gotten him McDonald's.

"MON DIEU JE VAIS MOURIR!"

"Too bad," Toni said. "I would have thought you were already going to die, considering the amount of alcohol you, Spain, Preußen, and Denny-kun consumed back in Vegas."

"I need an aspirin..." Denmark muttered. Norway rolled his eyes.

"Idiot," Norway and Toni chorused. Toni gave a quicksilver grin.

"Here we are, back at my house," Toni said. "France, go, I see Hungary waiting, and she's trapped all the required nations for the-" Toni paused and squinted. She rolled down the window and yelled, "HUNGARY! I THOUGHT I SAID NO VIOLENCE IN THE HOUSE!"

"It was necessary~" Hungary said. Toni parked, and hopped out, rolling her eyes.

"I left the Magic Trio minus Nor in charge. Stop being violent to Romania."

"...never."

"Fine!" Toni declared. "Just not on my property!"

Hungary dragged France away for his Yaoi close-up.

~Sorry, I fail at romance in general, use your imagination...~

Toni looked up as France walked back in.

"Oh look! Guys, France is alive!" Toni pointed out.

"tais-toi, Stark," France muttered.


	169. Romania 8

"Ohmigod!"

**...Eeeep. Alaska broke in and scared the ** outta me! How the ** did Alaska  
get down here anyway? We were certain to lock the door. Oh, if you're looking  
for Norway, he's putting barriers up around the house. England's huddled in  
that corner scared shitless over America and Russia's demon spawn. At any  
rate, gender bending problem is fixed and I have a request for Hungary. (Evil  
aura to rival Russia) Could she come down here and allow us to test a few  
spells on her. Some of them may be lethal but details aren't that important.  
Also Prussia, how did Alaska get my voodoo doll of you? I also wish the  
authoress to supervise the spells we cast on Hungary. Ok that's it. See you  
downstairs. (Romania goes back downstairs and drags England out of the corner) **

"Fuck! SorrySorrySorrySorrySorry!" Toni said. "I have no idea how Alaska got down there! He got past my security cameras, too- JARVIS, have we fixed that yet?"

"Still working, miss."

"Again, no idea as to how any of this happened...and isn't everyone scared of that? Danke Norge!" Toni said, noticing Norway in the adjacent room. He gave her a nod.

"I am Switzy on your fighting with Hungary," Toni said noncommitially, "But a dare is a dare, and the law of the dare states that dares MUST be preformed. So Hungary, you know what that means~"

"No!"

Toni snatched Hungary's frying pan and tossed it to Prussia.

"Rules are rules~"

They went down into the basement.


	170. Illinois and New York 3

Prussia pivoted Toni's StarkPhone in his hand to check her messages. She was still in the basement.

"Oi, Frankreich, Spanien! Weekend dare time!" He called.

"Que?" Spain asked.

**New York- Bwahahahaha!  
Illinois- So if you're not dead Pere,  
New York- We have more dares for you!  
Illinois- Today, you have to go on a boxer raid, which is pretty much the  
opposite of a panty raid.  
New York- You have to steal the guys underwear.  
Illinois- And then, you have to sell them all to the rabid fangirls of the  
internet, thenn explain to all of the male nations what happened to their  
underwear.  
New York- And good luck,cuz Miss Hungary's still ** at you guys, and  
Switzerland is out for your blood right now.  
Illinois- Au revior!  
New York- And try not to die, this is fricken hilarious. **

"We're going to die now, but I don't give a fuck!" France declared. (Think the Yao Ming meme face.)

~A few hours later...~

"Guys, why is Switzy-san standing on my lawn with a gun?"

"Ehe...no particular reason, mademoiselle."

"I'm going to stab you if he shoots me."

"Heh heh..."

"Who-OH MY HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE SWEDEN IS SHOWING EMOTION WAS DIE HÖLLE DID YOU DO!?"

"...can we hide in your basement?"

"NO! I think Sweden and Switzy are going to stab me for whatever you did. WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!?"

"...we might have stolen their underwear and sold it on E-Bay..."

"You're going to die, for sure now. I will NOT be dying with you, Vielen Dank. I never heard or was never involved, ja?"

"...recht..."

"Good. Now, go, and I haven't seen you all day."


	171. Alaska 3

"Warum sind die Rezensenten Gruselig!" Toni exclaimed in German. "WHY ARE OUR REVIEWERS SO VERDAMMT SCARY!"

**Hello again comrades!**

I would like you to all pick a body part (no hair allowed). Each of you has to  
chop it off with my little wood cutter I gave you. Have fun

France: eat bacon (american) until you through up. Then cook the regurgitated  
bacon into pancakes and give it to Canada. Neither you nor anyone else can  
inform Canada in any way that you did this. After Canada eats the pancakes,  
tell America what you did.

(To only be read by Prussia)  
Prussia: Pretend to be mentally insane for 24 hours. Fake MPD, ADHD,  
Szzophrinia, and any other mental disorders you know. Pretend you wan to kill  
people and eat their flesh. :) Mabye you will end up in a mental hospital.

(everyone can read this)  
Spain: fill a bath tub full of sharp broken glass an take a nice, long bath.

Did I hear the word demon scum? Kolkolkol... I am much better then my father  
yes?  
Option 1: yes  
Option 2: Die  
Option 3: option 2

Toni: I want to visit your house  
I'm looking though you window right now. Let me in and we ca sleepover with  
the BTT. I brought vodka! 0J0 You can write what we do. It has to be at least  
500 words 

"I choose option one," Toni said. "Wait-WHAT!? Is that some thing with being Russia's?"

The sound of koling came from outside the window.

"NORUU!" Toni said, startled. "NORUWAYY!"

"What."

"Alaska is here again and asdfghjkl!"

"That's strange," Norway said. "I thought I put the spell up..."

"IT DOESN'T MATTER JUST BE MY BODYGUARD NORU I'M GONNA DIE FROM THESE DARES ASDFGHJKL,"

Norway read the dare.

"Fine."

Toni let Alaska in.

"Kolkolkol...what took so long?"

"Nnothing," Toni responded innocently. "Oh, and did I mention that onii-chan, my amazing older brother is visiting? Because he is."

Toni pulled out her phone and shot off a text. "In, about, half an hour or so. Maybe fifteen minutes."

"That is not fun, kolkolkol..."

"I cannot break plans with onii, as a rule, because we don't see each other a lot," Toni explained.

"Please no killing while he's here? I need to prove that personifications are not entirely insane, so he won't pull me off assignment, then I can't live here anymore and you will never see me again, probably..."

"Da."

And the doorbell rang. Toni raced upstairs.

"Danke, onii, for coming."

"Nah, no prob."

"Liebe dich auch~!"

"That was a smart move," Norway observed.

"What do you mean?" Alaska asked.

"Simple. Dares cannot be acted on in the presence of any of her family, that's a rule she made a while ago. The less crazy we look in front of them, the more she sticks around, so dares, violence, and general psychopathic behavior is banned. Now can you guess why she made this move?"

"Kolkolkolkol...she is very smart, I will give her that. She will become one."

Toni came back downstairs.

"Hey, cmon! You haven't met onii yet, have you Noru? I can trust you not to be psycho~!"

She dragged him and Prussia upstairs.

"Ja, onii, these are my friends!"

Alaska began koling again, and everyone who was still downstairs hid behind the couch.

"Mein gott, onii! That would be brilliant!"

Nobody heard Toni's plan over Alaska's kols.

"You're awesome, onii. I knew I could always trust you~"

"No problem, kid."

"Why didn't I think of it before? Cmon." Toni came back downstairs and dragged Spain off.

"I have a plan," she said when France asked her what she was doing.

~later~

Spain returned, covered in blood, with a grinning Toni behind him.

"Epagne? How are you alive?" France asked, poking Spain. Toni giggled, holding up her right hand, now a bloody stump.

"Remember what we did for the video with Romano as Spain and Spain as Russia? Never underestimate the Avengers SFX unit."

"Oui," France said. Alaska walked over and wiped some of the blood off of Spain.

"This blood is very realistic, da?"

"It is," Toni said, proud. "Because it's real."

Alaska smiled. "Where did you get this?"

"Hm? Oh, it's SHEILD policy to have a blood bank~"

"I see," Alaska said thoughtfully.

"And Spain, show them what you cut off!" Toni said cheerfully. Spain pulled the towel wrapped around him to one side to reveal that his foot was bloody.

"Toni did a good job with the effects, si?"

Everyone made a face.

"That's right, I'm a genius~"

~laters~

"Prussia, you're scaring me now."

"The voices don't like that~"

"I know that you're faking, dummkopf!" Toni snapped, whacking him with a pillow. "One does not simply go insane in five seconds flat!"

"Maybe I do~"

"You don't," Toni said in a final tone.

"DUDE TONI DID YOU HEAR WHAT THE FRENCH DUDE FED MATTIE?!"

Toni giggled. "Oh, mein gott, poor Canada..."


	172. Florina of Ilia 7

"All RIGHT! Spanien! Frankreich! Get cleaning! Kesesese~!"

**Hmmm...so no one made America cry, right?**

Good thing; America's my 3rd favourite character! XD But I guess for at least ATTEMPTING, I have to give it to Prussia. And since the other two didn't really try that much, they have to clean your house.

Now.

Before they do any other dare. But seriously, didn't you guys know that you could make America cry by getting into an argument with him, while pointing out every single one of his flaws?

Canada did that. He did.  
I'll be watching the footage from last dare soon, but first, your dare.

[To Toni's Eyes and Ears Only]  
So, I got bored and watched some self-hypnotizing stuff on YouTube.

None of them worked on me. :x But it gave me an idea.

Anyway, I want you to hypnotize (or whatever you need to do) Spain, America and France into thinking they are each other (and so they act like each other) for the next 3 hours. Like, Spain acts like France, France acts like America, and America acts like Spain. Also, make sure that they only remember that they are the person they will be acting as for those 3 hours. Oh yeah, if you manage to successfully hypnotize them, show Romano, Canada, and Britain/England. But don't tell them that you hypnotized them.

Because honestly, I think that at least ONE of them is hypnotizable. I bet on America.  
Hey, this dare is better than me daring you to proclaim to the world that you love Austria, am I right? :3

Prussia is exempt from this dare; so he can go do whatever he feels like. :)

Oh yes, I still have the photos. I'm still waiting for the right moment, you know? Maybe find Austria and hand him a copy.

I made around 30 copies. Oh yes, I have.

And yes, I would distribute them.

I WOULD.  
Don't think I won't.  
By the way, the next time you see Denmark, mind giving him a hug for me? XD I think he's awesome.  
Just not as awesome as Prussia. Don't tell him I said/wrote that.

Anyways, good luck, Toni! 

Toni giggled. "Course I will, this'll be hilarious!"

She took off, trapping each of the said countries and hypnotizing them. Then, a few hours later, this text went out...

**Group Text: To: Roma, Canadia, Iggy-land**

**From: Me**

**Hey guys, come over here! I have something awesome to show you! **

**From: Roma**

**To: Me**

**Last time I paid attention to one of your texts, bastard, you made me watch the tomato bastard. **

**From: Me**

**To: Roma**

**Trust me, Romano, this is worth it...it's Spain getting embarassed. **

**From: Roma **

**To: Me**

**...fine.**

**From: Canadia**

**To: Me**

**I will, asx long as you don't make me watch papa again...**

**From: Me**

**To: Canadia**

**Don't worry, France is not involved. Well, he is, but I'll be keeping an eye on him. **

**From: Canadia**

**To: Me**

**...fine...**

**From: Iggy-land**

**To: Me**

**I'm coming over there, this had better be important.**

Toni grinned, letting the three in.

"You probably won't regret this."

"Tch, it's the 'probably' I'm worried about," Romano said.

"There is a very slim chance you won't burst out laughing, because I know I did."

"But everything makes you laugh, Toni," England pointed out, folding his arms.

"Aw, Iggy-land, I'm hurt~! Come on."

Toni giggled as she dragged them to the camera room.

"Take this mic and ask 'France' a question," she snickered. "You'll love this, Igirisu-sama."

"Fine," England sighed. He picked up the mic.

"Hullo, Frog," He said annoyedly.

And magically, America's voice came out of France's mouth, scaring the bejeezus out of Canada and England. **(Yes, it did. Do not question it, da? ~Toni) **

"Dude, I'm not France! Hahaha, you're getting old, Iggy!"

England hid under the table. "Tell me how you did this."

"Nope~!" Toni declared. "Cmon, I've got the real America and the tomato bastard...you know you want to..."

England sighed. "This is rather interesting. Fine." England took the mic again.

"Hullo...*cough* America."

"That's more like it, Britain dude!" France/America declared. "Am I gonna get McDonald's soon or what?"

England looked at Toni. "The only way to prove he's not acting is to buy him McDonald's..."

"Already done~!" Toni sang, holding up your garden variety Happy Meal. "You can taste-test it, too, England~"

"I'd rather not...just give it to him."

"Sure thing~!" Toni pressed a few buttons, and the Happy Meal was immediately consumed by France/America.

"So then, what did you do to the tomato bastard?" Romano asked, smirking evilly.

"See for yourself, Roma~!" Toni said, switching the mic to "Spain's" room. She gave an evil grin.

"Say hi, or should I say-"

Romano cut her off.

"Ciao, bastard."

"Onhonhonhon~ Bonjour~"

"-bonjour?" Toni finished, smirking evilly. Romano's jaw dropped.

"FRENCH BASTARDO, GET OUT OF THE TOMATO BASTARD'S BODY!" Romano yelled. Toni smirked, and hissed, "spamanoooo..." quietly.

Romano glared at her.

"I-If I can ask, Toni, eh," Canada said. "Who is America?"

Toni giggled. "Glad you asked, Canada!" she said. "Ask him."

She switched the mic frequency and handed it to Canada.

"H-Hello, eh," he said quietly.

"Que?"

Well, that was definitely enough to scare the crap out of poor Canada.

"Aren't I awesome? Anyway. Wanna know the secret?"

The three nodded. Toni grabbed the mic.

"All right, you're back under my command. When the clapping noise comes over the microphone, you'll wake up and forget EVERYTHING. That way I have blackmail tapes. All right? Right." Toni held her hands over the microphone. "Wake up in three...two...NOW!" she gave a powerful clap.

England stared.

"I'm going now," Romano said, trying to hide the fear.

"Kesesesese~ Nice job, liebechen," Prussia said from the door.


	173. xXASilverCoinlololXx 7

"YES. YOU WIN MUCH."

**WHOO! TAKE THAT **. I WIN .D.**

Take it y'all enjoyed those

France: Well it was worth it because LEVEL UP. I no longer hate you as much as  
Sealand, who is COMPLETELY WORTHLESS. .D. So um... You have to... Um... Get  
locked in a room with Hungary..? Have a discussion about your creepiness or  
something, but do NOT go all pervert on her because I LIKE Hungary. Stay there  
for an hour. She can bright her frying pan, but can only use it if you creep  
her out.  
Prussia: Go... Kiss Toni again or something.. God, I'll come up with a good  
dare soon, I just have mental weird unawesomeness right now. So.  
Spain: Erm... Uh... I SUCK AT THIS I'M SUCH A BAD REVIEWER. -falls on the  
ground- ;-; You.. Go rob a tomato stand or something... I DUNNO. Just think  
I'm giving you a break before my dares or something besides my epic fail okay?

**OH AND TONIIIIII I FORGOT IN MY LAST COMMENT.**

I RECORDED IRON MAN ON MY DVR :D

GONNA WATCH IT AS SOON AS I BUY POPCORN. 

"REALLY! Double awesome!" Toni cheered. "It's a good movie, the actor really pegged my onii-chan~"

Spain had, once again, vanished. Toni shoved a screaming France into the room.

"Non! Je vais a mourir, Toni! NON!"

She locked the door.

"All right, Preußen, what were you saying earlier about watching Donny Darko~?" she said, leaning on the couch. "Cmon. Movie marathon."

Prussia grinned. "Awesome~"

Toni gave him a kiss. "No, that's you."

**(MEIN GOTT why was I so fluffy that day?! *headdesk* ~Toni) **


	174. Romania 9

"Um...um."

**Romania:Take that Hungary. Now you'll think twice before disrespecting me. Hey  
England, if it's true London is a werewolf then why hasn't she tried to eat my  
vampire ** yet. (I'm not complaining, just curious.) Oh and don't worry  
Hungary, I'm almost 20% sure what we did to you will wear off. *Smirks and  
laughs* Norway welcome back. How was Vegas? Oh, um, h-hello Mr. America. ((For  
those who don't know Romania idolizes America and is trying to modernize to  
match him)) So, um Igi, I have questions. Are you ever tired of having so many  
nations just crashing randomly at your house?  
*Bulgaria busts in with herr Schtick* Bulgaria: There you are! *Beats Prussia  
with the stick takes his yogurt back and leaves*  
... That was odd. Anyway, Prussia you're next to test magic on by dare power.  
You get the honor of testing potions. England's mixing them so be very afraid.  
*Smiles*  
Btw sorry for doing this old school but for some reason I couldn't review  
logged in. **

"Ah, no prob!" Toni said. "My computer is crap and freezes a lot when I'm typing these. It sucks."

"Honestly, I have no idea," England said, shrugging. "I'd have to ask London, and I'm not even sure if she is a werewolf."

"I'm still looking for evidence," Toni said in a "Mission Impossible" style voice. "But I think she was acting strange that week because Doctor Who premiered in the UK that week, didn't it England?"

"It did," England affirmed.

"Las Vegas sucked," Norway said with a straight face. "Guess what job we got."

"Designated drivers." Toni said.

"For Denmark, Prussia, Spain, and France."

"This is not fun."

"And Sweden and Finland were somewhere, Iceland went to the section that's made of candy. They had massive bags of licorice there."

"And he left us."

"With those four."

"It was horrible. But at least I got my tattoo off."

"...ow."

"That's all you can say?"

"...ja..."

"Hey, Romania dude!" America said. Toni glared at America.

"Don't you have better things to do, like go fanboy over Captain 'Oh my god he's so perfect and guys go gay for him' America?"

"Don't diss Cap!"

"I'll do what I like to Spangly suit boy," Toni snapped. "And I don't mind...unless it's America."

"Why are you such a hater?!"

"How many times do we have to bloody tell you, git, what happened when she was younger!" England said, dragging America away to explain the deep hatred shared by the Stark siblings for Captain America.

France smirked. "You know what you can make him drink? It is a potion of l'amour, so that he will have le sex with-"

Toni pounced France. "Shut it, Francis."


	175. DawnStar94

"FRANCE...you had better say no to this or I'll STAB YOU. I HATE FrUK!"

**Dawnstar94:I have a question for France. Are you in love with England? And if  
so, I dare you to tell him. **

"Mon petit angleterre?" France asked smirking...in that way every fangirl knows well. "Well, I do tease him about it, but only because it annoys him, oui?"

Toni raised her hands in the air. "DANK SIE GOTT, I hate FrUK!"

"Or maybe I lied~"

"I'll kill you if you lied, France!"

"I didn't~"

"Good."


	176. Florina of Ilia 8

"WTF-NEVER!"

**Toni, you better keep those videos.  
You'll never know when you need 'em. ;) By the way, send me a copy?  
Anyway, I got some more dares! I hope you're ready!**

[For Spain's Eyes and Ears]  
Wrap France in bubble wrap.

Yeah, that's right. Wrap him up nice and tight so he can't escape.  
Oh, make sure he can breathe. Then deliver him to England/Britain/Inglaterra, saying that he can torture him as much as England likes. Oh yeah, you can help torture him too.

In fact, I suggest you do. Here's a chainsaw. *hands Spain one*

[Toni and Prussia's Dare]  
Don't kill me for this one.

Toni, you have to propose to Austria.

And it needs to be serious.

Or the photos will be distributed on that thing you call the internet. :D The photos of that dare, around a week ago...hehehe...:P

*drags Austria into your house*

Prussia has to stand there, watching, and can't do anything to stop this. In fact, he has to record the moment, and urge Austria to accept.

By the way, I told Austria to accept. Or I would break his piano, and anything else that he likes that's related to music.

Hehe, have fun! *grins evilly* Maybe I'll get a dare for BTTFangirl, if I manage to think of one? 

"NEVER," Prussia and Toni chorused, not even taking the time to acknowledge that they had spoken as one yet another time. "Never will she ever marry anyone other than the awesome me!"

"Let me put it into perspective, how much I hate this guy," Toni said, pointing to Austria as Spain dragged France away. Toni ripped off her yellow Gilbird t-shirt, causing both Germanics to blush profusely. She traced a finger around a circle of electric blue light and cold metal, the Stark patented Arc Reactor.

"If I was to rip this core out right now and never put it back in, it would take three days for the metal inside of me to slowly and painfully pierce my heart, blood would come out of my mouth, and yes, I would die. And I would rather take this core out, RIGHT BLOODY NOW, and die a slow, painful death, rather than marry-" Toni paused to point at Austria for emphasis. "-him! I would rather spend a thousand years lonely, without mein liebe, or my onii-chan, my awesome friends like the Nordics and the Magic Trio...WITHOUT ANYONE! Than even seriously consider it." Toni paused for a bit, then snapped her fingers. "Think the scene with the Nightlock berries in the Hunger Games, even if it makes the awesome Prussia the un-awesome Peeta. I would rather hear my father tell me that Captain America can do everything better, having to live through every memory of every time he ever did with excruciating detail; I would do all that if it meant I didn't have to leave Prussia. And that would be a fuckton of pain. Is that clear?"

"Good, I would rather have my piano in flames than marry Prussia's girlfriend!" Austria complained.

Prussia snorted. "Psh, he's not going to be saying that later."

Austria glared at Prussia, but didn't say anything. Toni ignored both of them and continued.

"Not now, not ever. Besides, the tattoo is gone now-" Toni turned around showing off that it was, indeed, gone- "-So those pictures, are then, photoshopped." she smirked.

"Checkmate for little sister Stark."

"Ich liebe dich so sehr, Antonia Stark."

"Ich liebe dich mehr als alles andere, Preußen."

"Awww~" France said from outside the window.

"You look like the stay-puft marshmallow man!" Toni said.

"And aren't you supposed to be with England?"

"Yes. I escaped to come and see Prussia and Toni's amour~"

"I will stab you."

"Onhonhonhonhon~"

"Stop spying on us!" Prussia said, chucking a pillow out the window and turning back to Toni.

"But seriously, mein awesome liebe, I love you."

"Aww, Ich liebe dich auch, Toni~"

"Ich liebe dich auch, ehrfürchtig dummkopf."

"Awwwwwwww~"

"Shut it, Frankreich!" Prussia yelled.

"Leave us alone, Francis! And Austria, get out of my house!"


	177. PsychoFan45

"SONOFABITCH. You know how I said the reviewers are scary?"

"Oui...?"

"I MEANT, THEY'RE FUCKING SCARY!"

**PsychoFan45:Hullo! I've been reading your chapters and I find them quite  
intriguing. I congratulate you for all these chapters and wish you many more!**

Now if this is alright with you I would like to suggest a dare to the Trio.  
Antonio, Have you ever heard of that one story where there was a starving rat  
and a man with a bloody side? It is in this dare that you shall take a  
starving rat, place it in a jar, and then stick the jar on your side where the  
blood is. You must leave the bottle there for at least forty-five minutes.  
Note, in that certain story the man with the bloody side had been penetrated  
by the rat, it burrowed deep inside him, feasting on his innards. Let us hope  
this will not happen to you ja!  
Francis, I dare you to go to Russia or Germany's house, cut off one of their  
most prized possessions and then return their possessions as burned ash. You  
MUST give it back to them in a smug way and stay at their house for forty-five  
minutes.  
Prussia, I dare you to convince everyone that you are a vampire and then feast  
on raw pig-blood, you MUST make everyone witness this act. If you do not do  
this I will make sure to stab everyone near and dear to you, forty five  
times...  
If you try and call the cops on me, I will bomb your houses, capitols, and  
many various things that you hold dear to yourself...  
Thank you for listening... :D I wish you luck with these dares ja...

"NOT MY ONII-CHAN! YOU WILL NEVER TAKE MY ONII-CHAN!" Toni yelled. "OR MY SUIT! OR PUROISEN!"

"Calm down, ami," France said.

"What...did you already...was..."

"Oui, I have here...the ashes of Allemagne's favorite riding crop."

"That's kinky..."

"Onhonhonhon~"

"FRANKREICH! I WILL KILL YOU!"

"Ooops...mad German," Toni giggled. "I never saw you."

France left.

"PRUSSIA DON'T DO THAT IN FRONT OF THE VEGETARIAN!"

"Nein, that is the dare.

"Mein gott," Toni said, vomiting.

~Forty-five minutes later...~

"Oh good...apparently Rats can't eat through glass."

"Dios mio..."


	178. Roza Kirkland

"Can I have my automated cameras record it?"

"Que?"

**Cześć, I love BTT so...  
Spain: I dare you to drunk Romano, have sex with him and in the morning when  
he wake up you have to tell him what happened and ask him if he marry you :DD  
Igi Have to record t and send to Hungary. .. Hmm I'm wondering if you will be  
alive after thát**

France: you have to go to England, say him that you love him and eat his  
scones

Prußen: you are too awesome.I can't do nothing what would hurt you.. so JUST  
hug me :DD 

"Kesesesese~ The awesome me gives out hugs whether people like it or not!"

*cue hug*

~At England's house~

"J'taime, Angleterre~!"

"GET AWAY FROM ME- wait, are you eating scones?"

"...oui..."

~The next morning~

"Hola Roma~"

"THE HELL TOMATO BASTARD?! GESU CRISTO!"

"So Romano..."

~five minutes later...~

"Hey Toni, chica, gracias!"

"SPAMANOOO!"


	179. Illinois and New York 4

"They SUCK at being secretive, they laugh too much."

"Kesesesese~"

"Fusososososo~"

"Onhonhonhonhon~"

"See what I mean?"

**New York- GYAHAHAHAHAHA!  
Illinois- Pfft. You guys, pfft, are really bad at secrecy.  
New York- No kidding! Ahaha!  
Illinois- DARE TIME! This dare comes from Nevada  
New York- It's a drinking contest.  
Illinois- Except the winner is whoever gets drunk the fastest.  
New York- Afterward, Toni, take a video of whatever crazy ** they do and post  
it. EVERYWHERE. Make sure everyone sees it.  
Illinois- EVERYONE! So good luck boys! Au revior pfft. **

~And so it begins... a few hours later~

"Prussia, there was no way you were going to win, admit it."

"Jaaaa..."

"France is such a lightweight, si?"

"Onhonhonhon~ Angleterre~"

"GET OFF ME YOU PERVERT!"

"France...gets pushier about le sex, apparently, when drunk...this video will make so many fangirls happy..."

"Ja..."

"Si."


	180. Bururu 28

"Ah...that! Well...well."

**I'm so tired... (past midnight where I live).  
Just an offhand question... What kind of time of day people are you? 'Cause like, I love the night and all, but I prefer really early morning better. (waking up at times like 3:45 them being the only one awake until 7:00 am. After 6:30 am, things start to suck, because I'm not that kind of morning person. I am a EXTREME morning person. Looove the really early morning.**

I stayed up this late to watch Iron Man 2 with my dad... What happened to Monsieur Hammer, anyway? And did Monaco get pissed off at you all? What was Russia's reaction to the ordeal...?

So many questions. I'll take pity on you people. The Magic Trio must have a threesome. And you will watch. And describe things lightly if you can't write lemons. (Like if our dear Angleterre makes any très cute sounds... Or if Romania's fond of biting... on the neck... or if Norway likes *WOW* and *ohh* and *ahh*...)

Also, is Russia perverse like France?  
Because I was watching a seiyuu event. Russia's did an impersonation of France. This is what the result was:  
"Big Brother *BEEEEEEEEEEEP*"  
And then France and Russia's seiyuu banded together to keep saying stuff that was censored out.  
And Chibitalia's seiyuu... did a completely accurate impersonation of Prussia. It was terrifying, and it's not for the reasons you may think. (No, even though you might like to think otherwise, it's not because Prueßen puts fear into my heart.)

Any ways. Long review is long. Five meters long, actually.  
Tonia... you tell me. Is it really five meters long? Or France, you've done it with Prusse too, oui? Is it really five meters?  
À bientôt! (I've given up on the squiggly things... they never show up.) 

"Seven in the morning to noon, or nine to midnight. I know, it's strange."

"HAPPY HOUR, JA!"

"Any hour where there is amour~!"

"Whenever Lovi is around~" (SPAMANOOOOO!)

"Oh, that?" Toni said. "Ehe...well, I don't really know, I was still...well, compare it to the-" she paused to clamp her hands over Prussia's ears so he couldn't hear her analogy- "-the Berlin Wall, sorta, where I was East and my onii-chan was West. And I hadn't come back yet, so...ja. But from what I heard, Hammer's in jail- for life, I think. Monaco...the racing people didn't blame us all that much, we just had to pay up for the F1 car. And the personification of Monaco didn't mind, I mean, my brother stopped even more damage from happening! Russia? We haven't really talked about it."

"Russie...I do not think so, non."

"DID YOU KNOW GREECE HAS THE SAME SEIYUU AS PRUSSIA!" Toni said. "I had a heart attack!"

"Onhonhonhonhon~"

Toni blushed bright red. "Ehe..."

"Well, in case you were wondering, ma cherie-"

"NO! I will be the one to say! He is my boyfriend," Toni cut France off. "Um, ja, not five meters, but I think it is above average." she turned Romano-level red.

"It is the five meters of awesomeness! That's just catchier than the-"

Toni tackled him. "That's too crazy to say outloud. It's massive, ok, that's the end of it."

"If you blush any more, tomate, your head will explode!"

"Shut it...AND WHY DOES EVERYONE REMEMBER WHAT THREESOMES MAKE ME NOSEBLEED!? MEIN GOTT!"

~A few hours later~

"Please don't make me talk about it..." Toni said, holding a tissue to her face.

"Come on, I want to know about the amour~"

"Ok...it was sexy. And yes, Romania does have a thing for biting...and being bitten...and being dominated...oh god, my nose..."

"That sexy? Kesesesese~!"

"This must never be spoken of again," Toni said annoyedly. "Ugh, if I go into any more detail I'll faint from blood loss! Mein Gott, that was...oh fuck, my nose..."


	181. Romania 10

"TWO TO GO GUYS! SUNDAYS SUCK!"

**Salut! (Informal way of saying hello) Aww, that sucks. Sorry you guys had a  
bad time. *Gives back a mangled heap* That's Prussia, don't worry he should go  
back to normal soon... maybe. Reason he should have been afraid, England is  
the best at potions. Norway excels at summonings and I'm the best with dark  
magic and, of course, shapeshifting. It's fun and scares the crap out of  
Bulgaria sometimes. Wow, Mr. America knows my name... that's just... I just...  
um... th-thank you for remembering me. *Nearly faints* Um, anyway, France for  
that snarky comment you made I curse you so that whenever you try to spread  
l'amour or even think about it you're 'vital regions' will burn as though they  
have touched a thousands suns. Very uncomfortable spell to put it mildly.  
England feel free to add to this. Also, Andru missed you Igi. *Andru flies  
over to you and snuggles your cheek* He gets lonely sometimes. Spain, you are  
dared to beat Hungary up on my behalf and Hungary is not allowed to do  
anything to defend herself! Kekekekeke. *Sticks a pin in a Prussia voodoo  
doll* I think I'm getting over you Prussia. **

"Yes, well, at least Toni got rid of that stupid tattoo," Norway said, looking up from a book.

"Um...wow. I think France should take him to Dr. B's lab..." Toni motioned for France to take Prussia out. "Hehe...hello, little guy!" Toni giggled as Andru flew around her head.

"Something I've always wondered, actually, Romania...are you a car nut? Because I heard from England's show, Top Gear UK, that you have one of the best driving roads in the world...I would think so." Toni shrugged.

"Onhonhonhonhon~, well, the potion would have been a good id-AAGH MY **!"

Toni grinned. "Oh, ja, I'm going to love this."

"I'M GOING TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU, SPAIN!"

"Kesesesese~!"

"Can you guys all shut up for once?"

"Sorry Noru~"


	182. Soarra 14

"AWWWW JAA!"

**Hullo! I'm so bored... And sadly since my mom doesn't have any old shirt, I  
couldn't make any white flags. Of course because I'm Prussian and Russian I  
wouldn't use them but I think Italy would like some.  
Dares!  
France has to make a 40 word rant on how stupid your l'amour is.  
Spain has to cover himself in blood again cuz I found that cool. J He also has  
to show Lovi!  
Prussia, go get Romania and make fun of Twilight with him. Cause TWILIGHT ISNT  
LITERATURE!  
Bye! **

"Of course, awesome Prussians do not require white flags!"

"Hehehehe," Toni snickered. "Come on, there's practically an endless supply~"

~Much, much later~

"CAZZA! IT'S THE GHOST OF THE TOMATO BASTARDO!"

"Hola, Lovi~"

"OH GESU CRISTO! I SURRENDER!"

"Lovi, you do realize that it's just Spain covered in fake *cough cough REAL cough cough* blood, right?"

"...fuck you."

~The paragraph written by France, about how stupid spreading l'amour is (Stolen by Toni for the internet's pleasure)~

Merde. I really have to write this? *sighs* Fine.

Spreading love is stupid because philistines like Angleterre don't like it. And whenever I try to spread l'amour anyway, my ** burns like someone poured Sriracha Rooster Sauce on it. It's not fun, cheries.

_SRIRACHA ROOSTER SAUCE!? Damn, that stuff is hot... ~Toni_

Why does Toni have this Voice to text system? It is so...confusing. And scary.

_BACK TO THE SUBJECT. ~Toni._

Ah, oui, so, in short, I think I might give up on spreading the amour because of all the philistines in the world.

Then again, maybe not.

~TWILIGHT BASHING TIME!~

"Hello, internet people! I've decided to join this party because I HATE TWILIGHT SO FUCKING MUCH!"

"It gives vampires a bad name," Romania agreed.

"My main complaint here is BELLA. GOD, MEET THE WEAKEST GIRL EVER. I'd rather look up to Katniss, who instigated a full-on revolution and can kill things with a bow and arrow! OR NAT! Natasha Romanoff! My awesome "Aunt" (heh, she'll probably kill me for that) who didn't hesitate to beat up Hawkie-sama (there, I made up for calling you Hawkie, Clint, are you happy?) when she had to! Why would I look up to a girl who couldn't do anything while people started a war over her? Girls are not to be owned! And..." (Now, imagine a rant, a very long rant, waiting to come out. But then Prussia stopped it by cutting Toni off.

"Vampires do not sparkle."

"SWEET MUTTER OF GOTT, YES."


	183. Romania 11

"What the- oh, for god's sake, so many people...JARVIS, can you get Prussia off the roof?"

"Certainly, miss."

"All right, danke~"

***Still disgruntled about the Twilight mentions* Not in a good mood. Toni help  
me let my anger at Twilight out! Torture Hungary in the most heinous way you  
can possibly think of! It's a dare so you have to do it! Hm, well a lot of my  
people really like cars but I really don't care. As long as my own car is nice  
and goes fast. (I like driving fast, but racing isn't really my thing) But if  
pressed, if I wanted to make an entrance I'd do things the old fashioned way.  
After all, my past is what defined me so I'm not about to throw that away.  
That's why I live in my old boss's castle. You know, Vlad the Impaler? His  
castle is now the home of my hundreds of bats and I. *Intensifies the curse on  
France* Kekekekeke, have fun France. That's what you get for making an enemy  
of me. You're lucky I'm getting over you Prussia otherwise that would have  
been you. *Tied Prussia upside-down by his toes earlier and hung him from the  
roof of Toni's house* I'm feeling better already. Btw Spain how was your night  
with Romano? Did he say yes to your proposal? **

"Oh, I see! Thank you for clearing that up. ERMAHGERD, that's so cool!"

"AAAGH MON DIEU!"

"I quite like this, he cant walk up to Prussia and me and ask how the sex was," Toni commented. "You know, Loki does that too...when he's on parole or whatever they call it."

"Si, he did~"

"Well, more like a permanent state of engagement," Toni clarified. "Long term relationship, I guess, that's the best word for it."

"Si, she is correct~"

"You want me to be heinous?" Toni asked, raising her eyebrows. "I can be very, very heinous."

~A few hours later~

"Quick explanation of what I did, exactly?" Toni giggled. "It's simple. Hungary likes Yaoi, ja? Well, Male!Hungary likes Yuri! But the twist is, our Hungary loathes Yuri and Male!Hungary despises Yaoi. So, what I've done is- are you ready? I got all of their tapes. ALL OF THEM. And I've switched out Hungary's Yaoi tapes with Male!Hungary's Yuri tapes! I even switched the labels so they won't be able to know and go all Admiral Ackbar before it's too late. You know, 'It's a Trap!' and stuff." Toni took a breath and continued. "Even better- so that they don't kill me, I took their frying pans and melted them down. They're new shell casings for my armor, extra lucky missiles I call 'em!" Toni smirked. "But, even better, I have about forty-five identical missiles...so they'll never find the metal again. I think I might be murdered now. In the night."


	184. ANONS AND BTTFANGIRL14 PLEASE READ!

**Anons and BTTFangirl14, PLEASE READ!**

**Anons, my chaplings. **

**Ein! Please do not make your reviews too long? I need to be able to find them ASAP, and they don't appear on the review page for a while. PLEASE KEEP IT SHORT, so I can get to your requests FASTER BETTER STRONGER. (The Six million dollar girl, heh heh.) **

**BTTFangirl14! **

**Do you have this story on Alert? Because I posted the chapters responding to your reviews a while ago. That might help...? **

**All right, back to your regularly scheduled BTT being tortured.**

**Yours awesomely,**

**Antonia Marie Stark! **


	185. California 6

"Wha- Really?"

**California:I think I am going to replace Captain America with Superman for the  
next Avengers movie, if that's how you feel about Steve...**

Besides, the current Superman has really big balls. *winks at France*

As for the BTT, I think you guys have been dethroned by the States when it  
comes to pervyness as for right now, so I'm going to help you out for a bit.

Prussia, there's at least one fanfiction out there where Pennsylvania is  
related to you, so why don't you go and see if she's really that awesome?

Spain, I believe that you originally owned Louisiana, correct? Why don't you  
teach him how to be a Latin Lover?

France... Illinois and New York are upstaging you (and New York is actually  
Dutch in origin... Why else was NYC's original name New Amsterdam?)... I think  
Michigan's hiding something... Go see if she's really a magic-using pervert  
like she claims she is, and see if that can get you back on top.

As for Toni... I have a way to deal with Alaska: If his dares get too  
gruesome, just threaten to hurt Hawaii. Alaska and Hawaii are quite close...  
and in that way, too. 

"Oh, he doesn't make me mad personally," Toni said, shrugging. "Ok, sometimes he does, but that's life, ja? What makes me mad is what people say about him. 'Oh, Captain America, he gets all the ladies and saves the day because he's so fucking awesome,' and stuff like that," Toni said in a falsetto.

"Honestly, what really bugs me is that my father said those exact things about the guy, and honestly, Captain America's not as much of a saint as dad made him out to be." She shrugged. "It's not hero worship...if I suffered in the name of being better than this guy for thirteen years, he had better be pretty freaking good. Otherwise, it was a waste of my life."

"Penn? Oh, ja. Only partially, she's not nearly as awesome as me! But she was sweet enough to name one of her towns after me, kesesesese~!"

"I didn't realize it, but that was on an episode of the X Files. They mentioned King of Prussia, Pennsylvania, and I spewed my cereal."

"I know, I was there. It was awesomely hilarious."

"It was not fun actually having the milk come out your nose," Toni deadpanned. "OH! Danke for the advice with Alaska...he's getting kind of creepy..."

"Oh? No se, amiga," Spain said, shrugging. "She just prefers to be the French type, si?"

"Oui oui! Mon petit Louisiana! And no one can upstage la France when it comes to amour!"

France then attempted to prove this by seizing Spain's vital regions. Well, then Romano jumped in through the window and it all went downhill from there.


	186. Soarra 15

"BROFIST!"

**I KNOW RIGHT. I hate girls who cant do a damnable thing to help themselves.  
Its pathetic. Oh, by the way, Prussia's seiyuu also voices Estonia not Greece.  
And I was SO surprise when I heard about that... Ok today I had a semi-crappy  
day so France may or may not get a da ''re from my Russian side. 'Cause I  
don't like him that much.  
Dare time! J  
France, Russian time! Kolkolkol... Go to big brother Russia's house and ask  
him to tattoo 'Call me Frog' on your forehead then let him draw other pretty  
designs. Knowing big brother, he'll do it in the BEST tool. A knife!  
Spain, I'm not gonna torture you okay? Hmmm... How about you really that you  
love Romano. In front of him and then kiss him. Because it is REALLY obvious.  
*holds camera*  
Mein most awesome country, I dare you to try to get whether Anastasia survived  
out of big brother Russia. I cant...  
Toni, who is your favorite reviewer?  
Bye! **

"No, I heard he did Greece, too," Toni said.

"QUOI!? Non, non, non, non-"

Toni shoved him out the door.

"All right, that was creepy," she said, sitting back down at her computer.

"Siii~!"

~Insert dramatic romantic confession here~

"Che! Anch'io ti voglio bene, tomato bastardo!"

"AWWWW, Spamano!"

"Shhh! Amour is in the air, Antonette!"

"God dammit it's ANTONIA. And how did you get back from Russia's house anyway?"

"It is a secret, ma cherie~"

~Prussia?~

"I actually don't know..."

"HE LIES. SHE DID. And escaped into-MMPH!"

"She lies un-awesomely."

"I'M NOT LYING! HE IS!"

_Decide who's lying for yourselves. _


	187. Florina of Ilia 9

"OH. JA. YOUGAVEMEABITHDAYPRESENTALMO STAMONTHEARLYDANKEDANKEDANKE !"

**First of all, I'd like to thank you. You helped me get what I wanted, yet  
again!**

Now I got a legitimate reason to trash Austria's house! Because, like some  
others, I dislike Austria. Just not as much as you; you hate him with a  
passion that's almost holy. Anyway, mind coming over to help me trash his  
house? :D  
Remember, he DID say we could...

*pulls out phone and plays back a message*

'Good, I would rather have my piano in flames than marry Prussia's  
girlfriend!'

That, is a literal invitation to let us destroy his instruments.

By the way, if you're wondering about Hungary, I took care of her earlier;  
nothing a little chloroform can't do, right Toni? :D

Anyway, you guys can bring all your friends! But Austria and his piano are  
mine to beat up. :x Don't worry, I'll make sure to hurt his 'vital regions'.  
And I'll be setting fire to his piano, so once I do that, I suggest you run  
outside, because that house is going to burn DOWN!

And besides, it's his fault, right? I prepared a lot of things, and hope you  
guys can come! :D I'm just making sure all the equipment is in top shape when  
you arrive...

"WE ARE COMING BECAUSE THE AWESOME ME SAYS SO. And yes, I hate Austria with an unholy passion."

"Quoi?"

"Que?"

"I don't give a fuck-damn what you guys say, we're going! RIGHT. NOW. IMMEDIATELY. COMEON."

Toni snatched a box of stuff from her lab.

"FLAMETHROWERS AND INCENDIARY ROUNDS AND EXPLOSIVES AND ALL DAT GOOD SHIT."


	188. Romania 12

"Oh! Um, I'm not good at this, but I'll try..."

**Toni, I have a problem. None of this is to ever reach Hungary's eyes or ears  
though, I will wait... ok. I think I love my best friend and I don't know what  
to do about it because he doesn't seem to feel the same way. It's frustrating  
and I really want to tell him. Suggestions? France can help with this one.**

Spain, you never answered me. I asked you what Romano said to your proposal.  
(I don't speak Spanish so I couldn't understand him)

Prussia, this is yours. I don't need it anymore. Norway and England said it  
was unhealthy for me to be clinging to it anyway. *Gives Prussia the Prussia  
voodoo doll* I'm also giving you free reign for revenge for all that crazy **  
I made you do earlier. I'll do anything you ask (within reason)

But da, help please Toni. I'll give you a cookie. *Standing close to England  
and Norway embarrassed to be asking for help*

"Well, I'm not good with the love and stuff, considering I've only ever really had a crush on one guy, and he's...he's my boyfriend right now, actually."

Prussia smirked.

"But I'll do my best! Um, has he really said- like, flat out said- that he likes someone else? Or is it just a vibe? Because if it's just a vibe, I'd say go for it! But if he explicitly said...I dunno, France?"

"Oui, well, I agree. Amour isn't exactly something you seize, but taking a chance can pay off. Lots of people don't act and then true love passes them by. But that's just what we think, oui?"

"Ja, we're not the love doctors, or anything."

"Oh, um, danke," Prussia said. Toni pivoted her head slowly, giving him the "You know what I want you to say to that" eye.

"Um, I'm not just saying this because Toni is giving me the evil eye, but it's no big deal."

Toni gave a self-satisfied grin. **  
**


	189. Soarra 16

"It was fun~!"

**SPAMANOOOOOOO! Yay! You are SO lucky Toni! I wanna trash Austria's house!  
*whines* Oh well... You know what's awesome Toni? I FOUND SOMEONE WHO WATCHES  
HETALIA! I'm so happy! So no Russian dares. Im hoping to cosplay with her!  
Dares!  
Francey-pants, is it true that you give GENDERS to your nouns? I heard that  
during Latin today. I wondering whether in French 'France' is feminine or  
not..  
Spain, so you have finally started to date Roma? Good for you! I dare you to  
make a tomato milkshake. The BTT, Magic Trio, and Toni have to drink an entire  
glass.  
Prussia, I'm going as you for Halloween. Note that I like scary stuff. So is  
that awesome or not?  
Bye! **

"W00T SPAMANOOOOOOO!" Toni cheered. "I know, it's impossible to find another one! All the ones I know live in the North 'cuz I met them at Summer camp...and I kind of sort of got them addicted to Hetalia with me, heh heh."

"Quoi? Oui."

"Yeah, France is feminine," Toni snickered. "La France! And don't look at me that way, I took French classes. And Spain does it too."

"Yay, tomate milkshake~!"

"Just in time for international Milkshake day!" Toni said sarcastically.

~Later~

"This is so weird..."

"Possibly one of the stranger dares..."

"Ja."

"Ugh, it's not that bad."

"Not really."

"Why are we doing this..."

"Because."

"Oh, ja, that's very awesome! Because the awesome me is so awesomely intimidating!"

Toni blushed. "...so am I..."

"I didn't hear that?"

"You didn't need to."


	190. California 7

Toni spewed her milk as she read the new dares.

**:...I believe that might be the first time anyone besides Prussia has tried to  
"seize" someone's Vital Regions, since most simply invade them...**

France, stop testing Switzerland's neutrality and forcing him to shoot at  
you... He's complaining that he constantly has to buy more bullets, and the  
sheer cost of doing so is driving down the interest he can give on the Swiss  
Bank Accounts... We need that interest to keep China happy!

Anyway... Toni, I'm leaving the next dare up to you. The only requirement is  
that if there was a film made based on the dare, it'd be a **. (Blame it on  
the fact that the ** industry is quite massive here in California... In fact,  
we have a "** Valley" to go along with "Silicon Valley"...) 

"Oui, oui..."

"I know about the ** industry, believe me, I live here," Toni said, laughing. "Prussia. Fetch...MY SECRET STASH OF POCKY! And Spain must fetch...ROMANO SO I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE HERE! I GUESS YOU CAN ALL SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING!"

**((Use your imagination. ~Toni.))**


	191. Florina of Ilia 10

"OH. JA. VIDEO EVIDENCE."

***Walks in* Well, I got a video of what we did to Austria's house! :D Here you  
go! *hands Toni a DVD*  
Ah, anyways, 2 reasons I'm here.**

First, you got anything that can help treat burns? My arm got burned while  
saving Austria; only a little bit near my wrist, but still. Hey, I don't hate  
him enough to let him die in a burning house. Yeah, well, at least I kicked  
his 'vital regions' 7 times, right? :) Also, if you're wondering, he's living  
with Russia at the moment.

I'm sure he'll have lots of fun there, am I right?

Secondly, dares! It should be pretty simple; nothing too difficult for you. I  
think.

Basically, the Bad Touch Trio has to teach my classes for tommorow!

Yeah, that's right.

Spain has to teach my Home Ec class. Don't worry, the people in my class  
listen. Just make sure you prepare recipe sheets.  
Prussia gets to teach my Socials Studies class, because I feel we need awesome  
there. They listen as well. Hopefully you'll sing Mein Gott there as well? XD  
France is now forced to teach my English class. They don't listen that much.  
:D How ironic, isn't it?

Also, you'll be getting some help! Spain gets Italy (Both North and South),  
Prussia gets...*pulls a name out of a hat* America? Sure, why not.  
And France, you'll be getting England to help you. Good luck. And yes, I'll  
make sure my actual teachers don't come.

So now I will say this; you better start preparing! :D 

"Hm, I think Dr. B left some burn cream in his lab, upstairs on the left," Toni said.

_((You know, Toni may not hate Austria as much as she claims... ~Prussia, Spain, and France [The BTT]))_

**((Don't say things that aren't true. And get out of my voice-to-text. ~Toni.))**

"OH. SHIT. JA. This is gonna be epic! Why couldn't I be Prussia's assistant? I LOVE social studies, and I'd totally duet Mein Gott with him!"

"Ja!" Prussia cheered, high fiving Toni.

"Lovi~?"

"ALL RIGHT INTO THE LIBRARY OF STARK!" Toni yelled, shoving the BTT into her library and locking the door.

"Good luck~!"


	192. Bururu 29

"OHSHIEßEOHSHIEßEMERDEMERDEME RDE!"

"...what? I think that was the most I've ever heard you swear!"

"I have my reasons."

**Tonia, go have sex with Austria, Switzerland, and France. In front of  
Liechtenstein and Sealand. While they are watching and can see EVERYTHING.**

Prueßen, go find a chick that looks just like Gilbird.  
Then step on it. And scrape it under your foot until it's dead. And eat yellow  
chick peeps while doing it.

Spain, here you go! /hands him the MOST ADORABLE doll of Romano holding a  
tomato/  
Now... slash it, hack it, spit on it, kick it, throw it, spear it, shoot it  
through the forehead with an arrow, stab it, bite it, jump on it, stomp on it,  
punch it, pound it repeatedly against a wall, shoot it, and finally burn it  
until it is disfigured beyond recognition.  
Have Romano watch, and act GENUINELY like you hate him very much, and tell him  
you will hate him forever no matter what else he says. Romano must be led to  
believe that this is all true and not just another dare. And nobody can tell  
him it's just a dare either or hint at it.

So... who do you think I was the most cruel to?  
À bientôt!  
-Bururu  
P.S. France, do you really hate England? And England do you really hate  
France? (Don't you dare go tsundere on me, I want the truth about how you feel  
about one another!) 

Toni grabbed the nearest piece of furniture, all of which were strapped down for Earthquake safety.

"ONII-CHAN! SAVE ME! I'M GOING TO BE RAPED BY MY ENEMY, A FRENCH GUY, AND SWITZERLAND!"

"It is not rape if you enjoy it, onhonhonhonhon~!" France said, trying to drag Toni away.

"PRUSSIA! FRANCE, AUSTRIA, AND SWITZY ARE GOING TO TAKE MY VIRGINITY!"

"Was!" Prussia shouted, rushing in. "FRANKREICH YOU SAUKERL! SHE PROMISED THAT TO ME!"

"Too late, Prusse~!"

"AW HELL NAW!" Toni yelled. Prussia grabbed her arms and pulled her towards him.

"PRUSSIA GET ME AWAY FROM THE FRENCH ONE!"

"TRYING!"

~Meanwhile~

"I can't...do it...es muy lindo..."

"What the hell are you talking about, tomato bastardo?"

~Even more meanwhile~

"I can't do it! It lookes just like the awesome Gilbird!"

"PRUSSIA! FRANCE IS STILL TRYING TO RAPE ME!"

"Oh, look, an excuse!"

"Angleterre?" France asked once Prussia had dragged Toni into her lab and locked the door.

"He is...fine, I suppose. He does kind of have bad taste, but I am working on that, oui?"

"BLOODY FROG! WHAT'S THIS TEXT I GOT FROM TONI ABOUT YOU TRYING TO GET HER INTO A FOURSOME?!"

"Ah, Angleterre...you will never get amour."

England made a rather obscene gesture in the air.

"J'taime aussi, Angleterre~!"


	193. Romania 13

Toni put her shirt back on as she checked her emails after changing her Starkium core. She stared at it for a minute, shocked, then immediately said,

"Suit. Now."

Pieces of metal slithered towards her. France ducked, but the metal rearranged itself into her black and gold suit.

"ANTONIA MARIE STARK! What are you doing?"

"Sorry, Cap," she replied to her somewhat-nemesis. "There's an emergency. I need a hand back here, though. Cap, Onii-chan, make sure my house doesn't get destroyed. Thor- get Noru and England for me. Get them to call me. Ja? Gut?"

The metal mask closed over her face, and she took off out the curving garage tunnel.

"Hasta la pasta!"

Everyone left behind was still confused. Prussia picked up her phone, and his jaw dropped, too.

"Um, Toni's bruder, what's the fastest car you have?"

"What? Why?"

**I'm sending this from the dungeon of my home. I took a chance like France said  
and I got rejected. In front of Hungary, America, and Serbia. Now I'm getting  
hell about it from Hungary and Serbia. I didn't stick around to hear what Mr.  
America was going to say. I just want to let you know that I locked myself  
down here and threw the key out the window. I'm never coming out again and  
maybe if I'm lucky I'll die from starvation or dehydration before going  
insane. FML. In case you were wondering, since the secret is already out, it  
was Bulgaria who I loved. Now I just don't want to live. I'm sorry if you get  
in trouble for this Tonia. La revedere.**

-Romania

P.S. I don't know why I even wrote this. Hungary told me herself no one cares  
and no one would read this or try to stop me. Maybe I'm just an idiot trying  
to tie up loose ends or something. Whatever. 

"Ok, I see why Toni twigged out," the older Stark said. "She...well, she hates it when other people have low self-esteem, we both know how it kills." he paused, and gestured to the garage door. "The fastest car that'll fit all of you is the Aston-Martin."

"Danke!" Prussia called, dragging the other two out the door, but it wasn't like the other two didn't want to be dragged.

~Meanwhile, in midair~

"Toni Stark speaking."

"Toni, why did Norway's friend hunt us down and say to, and I quote, 'Contact you using the phone of tele?' I expect a good answer."

"Um, Sorry England, we have an emergency here?"

"What?"

"You didn't get the email? JARVIS, forward him the email. England, check your email."

England sighed over the phone, then there was a clattering sound. Norway's voice came on.

"Toni. We saw the email. What do you want us to do?"

"I want you over there, right now."

"Where are you?"

"Oh, about halfway across the Atlantic," Toni responded nonchalantly.

"...how fast are you going?"

"Mach seven," Toni responded as if it was nothing. "Honestly? ONLY Mach seven? SCHNELL!"

Toni smirked as the suit sped up and she could hear Norway paling.

"England! What's the fastest car you have?"

"Noble M7."

**((We watch too much Top Gear UK together, England and I. ~Toni.))**

"Brilliant, get there ASAP!" Toni said. "I'm going to need you there, cuz when I'm done ripping the damn door off its hinges I need to go have a little chat with Hungary."

Once again, you could hear England and Norway paling.

_((If Toni says she wants to talk to you, it's legit. If she says she wants to have a little talk with you, tread lightly. But when she's wearing her suit and says she wants to have a "Little chat" with you? You run as if Russia- no, Belarus- is chasing you. She's terrifying. ~England and Norway.)) _

**((The only reason I'm leaving that there is because it makes me sound intimidating. :3 ~Toni))**

_((But it's true. ~England and Norway.))_

"Don't be that terrified, you're not on the receiving end," Toni said. "Are you in the car?"

"Ja, we are, we're coming."

"England's one of the best drivers I know...tell him to speed."

"I will."

"All right, tchüs!" Toni said, hanging up.

~Meanwhile, far below, with the BTT who "stole" the Stark plane~

"TONI! Pick up the phone!" Prussia huffed as the phone rang.

"Hallo?"

"Toni, where are you?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Because we're following you!"

"...on the coast of Europe."

"Toni..."

"Ein!" Toni declared over the phone, and all assembled could almost see her gesturing with her hands as she said it. "No one commits suicide on my watch. Zwei! NO ONE COMMITS SUICIDE ON MY WATCH. Drei, oh ja, NO ONE COMMITS SUICIDE ON MY FUCKING WATCH!"

"We're following you, because we agree with you."

"OH! Good," Toni said. "Noru and England are on their way, just wait until they get there. Ja? I already told them, I'm going to have a little chat with Hungary about this."

Prussia, Spain, France, even Toni's brother and Captain America paled.

~Laters~

Toni touched down in front of the door to the dungeon.

"All right," she muttered, checking the positions of the others. Her brother and company were landing outside, Norway and England were five minutes away. She grabbed the door and pulled. Really hard.

It didn't open. That is, until a red and gold hand placed itself on top of hers.

"C'mon, little sister. Let's fucking roll."

Toni grinned. "Whenever you're ready to catch up to me, Onii-chan!"

Both tugged on the door, and it flew open. Toni turned to the others.

"Time for a little chat with Hungary, ja?"

She took off down the hall.

~At Hungary's house~

Hungary was just lazing about when her speakers "broke." They suddenly turned on and began blaring music.

"I AM IRON MAN!

Has he lost his mind?

Can he see or is he blind?

Can he walk at all?

Or if he moves, will he fall?"

Hungary ran over to turn it off, but it wouldn't turn off.

Then, her roof came crashing in, to reveal the one and only Iron Girl.

"Hello, Hungary, we need to have a little chat."

Hungary gulped.

"Look, I'm a fair person," Toni said, standing up and pivoting her hand so that a hologram of a set of scales hovered above her left hand.

"I hang out with the Magic Trio because I'm into Astrology. I was born under Libra-" she emphasized the hologram- "The sign that is fairest, just, and into equality; all that good jazz. But I was also born under the sign of Scorpio," she continued, snapping her fist shut. The hologram dissipated.

"Sign of Revenge. Do you think you know what I'm mad about, now? I don't mind you countries fighting, it's what you do. I put up with it when you whack the shit out of my boyfriend with your frying pan. But when countries get pushed to suicide, I have to intervene. I'm an Avenger for a reason, and that's something you don't want to find out. I know six ways, right now, to bring this house down so that I wouldn't be crushed. And finally, I don't take kindly to people being insulted. I've had to live with it, I know how low self-esteem kills you. So don't try any bullshit with me. I've seen more than you could think in fifteen years. Don't drive people to suicide again, or this house will be gone. It's my job to keep this from happening, but with my emotional stock in this? It makes the punishment worse."

Toni left a terrified Hungary behind.


	194. BTTFangirl14lost the number, sorry

"Sure!"

**HMMM I honestly don't know what to say...Since I can't find the response from  
my earlier reviews can you please answer them this chapter? I HAVE NO IDEA  
KNOWING IF YOU ACCEPTED OR NOT! though I do have my own OCs in that story and  
one submitted to me so I will replace one if needed with yours if you excepted  
or not! SOOOOOOO I HAVE DARES!  
1. I dare Prussia to knock out Austria for 3 hours and during that time,  
tattoo the words Prussia is awesome with the Prussian flag below that  
2. I do have this story on alert I checked  
3. also if you do except then do want to be paired with someone? BB is open at  
the moment and the rest are taken by an OC (I am willing to switch out if  
necessary but not Near or Matt because someone who submitted has him and I  
have Matt so I'm not changing that)**

"Um...I don't know a whole lot about Death Note, sorry..." Toni said. "My head's always in Hetalia, taking care of these people..." she gestured to indicate whatever nations were currently at her house. "And ja, I just got the email saying that you do. I don't know what happened."

Prussia was already gone, and a few hours later...

"PRUSSIA YOU DEMON DOUCHE! WHY IS THIS ON MY CHEST?"

Toni fell over laughing when Austria waked in shirtless with the tat on his chest.

**((I think I just did Austrian fanservice! O_O. ~Toni.))**


	195. Soarra 17

"SHIT! NEIN! NEVER!"

"What are you twigging out about now, Gil?"

**I am so happy! I am so happy! Today I got my Russia wig! Yes. I did order his  
wig. :) But this also means that I feel Russian... ^J^  
Dares!  
France, I dare you to use this knife *hands him one of Belarus'* and draw  
England's flag on you somewhere.  
Spain, you have to ** off Belarus and tell her that you took her knife. For 2  
hours you can't go any farther than 10 feet from her. If you do go farther  
this collar will shock you.*forces collar on*  
Prussia, you have to say your nation wasn't the most awesome and that you  
hated it. (Prussian side-NEIIIIINN!)  
Bye! **

"Mondieumondieumondieumondieu ..."

"France. This I would somewhat like to see."

"AAGH!"

"NEVER!"

"And, above all the screams of pain and torture, I have an announcement!" Toni said. "I have some stories, debating over whether to post them or not. Descriptions are on my profile...bitte? Danke!"


	196. Illinois and New York 5

"France...Y U influence your kids so much?!"

**Illinois-... *nosebleeds watching video*  
New York- Delete it. Delete it now.  
Illinois- *Still nosebleeding*  
New York-For your next dare, you all gotta challenge pops and Switzy to a  
paintball battle. Just for good measure, Hungary and Germany're gonna be on  
their team too. So good luck with that.  
Illinois- *passes out from massive nosebleed***

"Ok, I'm now officially interested in how this will turn out."

"You really think it'll be a real challenge?" England asked.

"Sure, why not?"

Guess who won. It's probably who you think.


	197. Bururu 30

"Shit we pissed off the fans!"

"Was..."

**I feel bad for Hungary... along with France, she is my ultimate Senpai. Also  
I'm Hungarian.  
Romania... Why did he have to get so prissy about it... You don't commit  
Fruking suicide over getting rejected... I didn't... besides, they usually say  
that kind of stuff to each other anyways. I mean, what about all the horrible  
things Romania has done or said to Hungary? He can just get away with it while  
Hungary pays the price for fighting back?  
So don't you dare hurt Hungary, I'm warning you now.  
Because if I cannot save you Hungary, you can be damn sure that I will avenge  
you.**

Moving on from the serious stuff.  
Take Romania to a doctor. Please get him looked at for depression or something  
like that.  
It worries me.  
Toni, Austria, Switzerland, France, Liechtenstein, Prussia. Go have a six-way  
orgy and create tapes for Hungary. She is really a nice girl. /creepy  
threatening aura/ You don't know what'll happen if you harm her, Tonia  
Stark...  
Anyways. Prussia go kick N. Italy in the neck. Let Germany punch you in the  
face or something.  
SPAIN. How did you feel when you met the Aztecs? And when you saw then perform  
a human sacrifice? My history teacher phrased it as, "The Spanish were pooping  
themselves, going "Holy crap, they're sacrificing humans!"  
...is that true?  
Remember... you hurt Hungary, I will avenge her.  
-Bururu 

"Well, I don't know," Toni said, shrugging. "I fought people talking me down and won, so I'm not going to let anyone else lose, ja? And...I was kind of...super-uber pissed off? I hate it when people get told things like that. OMG. Nice paraphrasing my onii-chan. But anyway." Toni sighed.

"I just hate it. Have I mentioned that my father would all but whip me to make me better than Captain America? Ultimate tiger dad. But what makes me more sensitive about it than my brother is that he had mom there to stop it all, and I didn't." she shrugged. "I just...don't want to see other people in similar situations, that's all."

"Non, Suisse will not let me," France said. "He shot me in the leg..."

"Sweet mother of Prussia, he did," Toni observed. "Take it up to the Bio lab, ja? I think Dr B is in there, and he doesn't ask questions."

"Merci~"

"Anyway. Ja. It isn't really my job to make sure they get hurt, so I probably wouldn't, but still...countries getting hurt is better than countries dying. At least, in my book, and I think it is to most other people too." She looked down, then said quietly,

"My father...locked me in a cave for thirteen years because he hoped that I'd turn out differently from my brother. I didn't, and I'm proud of it, because it means that I won. Please don't ask me questions about it, I don't like to talk about it. I'm only saying this to explain why I reacted so strongly, maybe overreacted. I hope you all understand."

"Ah, si," Spain said. "It was one of the más loco things I've seen, that's for sure~"

Toni curled up on the couch, emanating a dark, depressed aura.

"Leave me alone for a few hours, guys...no, a few days...no, a few years...nah, leave me alone for the rest of my life. And tell Cap he can go shove that 'Howard Stark was a fucking angel' bullshit."

"Schmetterling~" Prussia said, crawling over the couch towards her. "Do you want me to sing the song again~?"

"Oh, god, no," Toni muttered.

"Nichts auf dieser Welt ist schlimmer  
als ein leeres Hotelzimmer.  
In der Nacht  
wenn die Einsamkeit erwacht.

Irgendwo in fremden Städten  
träumst du von vergang'nen Feten  
in der Nacht  
wenn die Einsamkeit erwacht.

Aus der Uhr tropfen Sekunden, weit und breit kein Land in sicht.  
Ich ertrink' in langer Weile,  
Hilfe!

Hilfe!

Hilfe, rette mich,

rette mich,

ich ertrink' in langer Weile...rette mich.

Drinks und Video-Cassetten können mich jetzt nicht mehr retten.  
Es wird Nacht und die Einsamkeit erwacht.

Ruf' mich an  
Komm her  
Sei bei mir  
rette mich,  
denn vor der Tür steht schon die Nacht  
und die Einsamkeit erwacht.

Aus der Uhr tropfen Sekunden, weit und breit kein Land in sicht. Ich ertrink' in langer Weile,  
Hilfe! Hilfe!

Hilfe, rette mich,

rette mich,

ich ertrink' in langer Weile...rette mich.  
Aus der Uhr tropfen Sekunden, weit und breit kein Land in sicht. Ich ertrink' in langer Weile,  
Hilfe!

Hilfe!

Hilfe, rette mich,

rette mich,

ich ertrink' in langer Weile...rette mich.

rette mich  
rette mich  
rette mich  
rette mich."

"God," Toni muttered. "Why do you have to be so...adorable yet sexy when you speak German?"

"Because it makes you happy~"


	198. Romania 14

"Heh heh..."

"What..."

**Hey Bururu lay off me all right! I already got my head checked and I know I'm messed up! I've been that way since as long as I can remember! I'm a tiny bit bipolar and have post traumatic stress disorder! Lay off dammit! Besides it wasn't the rejection that drove me to do that, it was Hungary and Serbia ripping me apart afterwards! Don't go jumping to freaking conclusions, you don't even know me! I get enough bullcrap from other nations, I don't need it from reviewers too! ... Sorry, that was rude. I just really needed to get that out. *Gives Bururu an apology cookie.* I respect your opinion and shouldn't be saying such awful things. And hey, if you like Hungary that's fine. Someone has too. *hugs Bururu* I accept your criticism and will use it as motivation to become a better nation and person.**

Anyway, Tonia you didn't need to break my door. I keep a spare key to every door in my house on a big metal keyring in my bedroom, hanging from the doorknob. My bats know right they are will get them if you ask them nicely. England and Norway stayed with me last night so I'm doing a lot better now. America gave me a call too and told me he had a talk with Serbia about doing things like that and sent me some McDonalds. (I don't really like fast food it was a nice gesture none-the-less.) I guess what I'm trying to say is... vă mulţumesc, Tonia. I really did need that. Ugh, now Bulgaria is calling me. Should I even bother answering it? 

"Um, sorry about your door, like I said, I take it very seriously when this sort of thing happens. My onii-chan will send you the money...and that's good."

She looked down. "I just...know how much it sucks when people say things like that, y'know?"

Toni looked up. "I would, but then again, I give rubbish advice, this is now apparent."


	199. Bururu 31

"NEIN! ORGIES ARE NOT ALLOWED!"

**...  
/feels somewhat guilty/  
But seriously, take him to a doctor. Please. Bitte. S'il vous plait. Por favor.**

I will get that orgy goddammit... SWITZY! FRONT AND CENTER!  
Now Switzy... you will let France do whatever he wants to you and Liechtenstein as well... same for you too, Austria. And you have to join in the sexual activity too, not just be a dead lay.  
YOU MUST DO THIS THIS IS A DARE AND GODDAMMIT I WILL GET FRALIECH ACTION.  
Anyways...  
Thank you! I just had that quote pop into my head and I thought it was epic and WHY CAN'T THE AVENGERS COME OUT SOONER?  
But yeah.  
They portray it a lot differently in the movies... Like 'oward Stark was going through a lot of stressful times, therefore not being the best person to his kids as well as others. But you kinda got the vibe that deep down, beneath all the stress and anger... he really wanted to save his kids from all of it.  
But yeah...  
JEEZY CREEZY I CREATED ANOTHER SERIOUS MOMENT DIDN'T I? OSERERIMASU SUMIMASEN!  
I feel like I want to help you overcome your emotional scars... Maybe I really do have the heart of a therapist... Sorry...  
/is Asian cause Asians are AWESOME/  
Anyways I should go now.  
-Bururu  
PS. I think Captain America is awesomeness but Tony Stark is more awesomeness and Prussia is awesomer than all of them. And you can tell that to the Avengers. 

"Onhonhonhonhon~!" France declared, dragginf the three off, Switzerland trying to reach his gun.

"Save us?" Toni asked, looking down. "Great job, dad. I think only mom was the one who got that vibe. Besides, it was scaled down by about a thousand times for the movie, because A.) They thought I was still dead and didn't have my input, and B.) My adorably tsundere onii-chan was tsundere and didn't really give the whole story. Besides, if I hadn't been in the cave, things would have turned out very differently. I wouldn't have a lump of metal trying to stab me forever, for one. I wouldn't feel so awful about never getting to see my onii-chan. Whenever you think of us, think of-" Toni paused, and motioned for Spain to drag Prussia out for a minute. As they left, Toni continued. "-like, maybe, the Berlin Wall? I think it's one of the reasons I get along with Prussia, for sure. I'm still trying to make up for lost time. And I'll tell them, of course mein liebe is awesomer than everything! And...also...thank you for acknowledging my onii-chan's awesomeness. It kind of stings when America insists that Captain America is the best and my onii-chan is not. The opposite, in fact. America's being a douche. But I don't mind. Usually. Whatever."


	200. Katari Michelos

"OMG OMG CHOCOLATE POCKY AND DCFC!"

"What?"

***pokes head in, looks around, see sadness, frowns* I came bearing dares, but now  
I come with gifts instead! Toni, heres a cd with a few of you favourite songs  
on it, as well as Pocky. Lots of pockey. Well,adios! **

"OMG OMG CHOCOLATE POCKY!"

"What are these songs?"

"Extremely obscure Indie songs, ja!"

"The Decemberists...Death Cab for Cutie...The Clash...Black Sabbath...Nirvana..."

"Yep! Wait...how did the reviewer know all these?"

*poker face*


	201. BTTFangirl14lost the number, it's 21

"Austria can, of course, find this out. And wait...you sent 2P!Iggy after us? Or him?"

**YOU JUST MADE MY LIFE WITH THAT TATTOO! I NEED PICTURES! Ok here's something  
messed up, I'm Hungarian, portuguese, german, and Polish. Germany, Hungary,  
Poland, explain this. It's ok it happens, I usually just stick with Hetalia  
then go watch other animes.**

1. Death Note, that's about a guy named Light who finds a death note that if  
you know a person's name and face and write it down in the death note, they  
die. Also the FBI gets involved and Light goes by Kira. It's a mystery/crime  
anime and a lot of the characters die. Which is horrible. If you need a better  
explanation then google it.  
2. PRUSSIA, THE SONG MY SONG WRITTEN BY ME FOR ME IS GENIUS! HOW DID YOU COME  
UP WITH THAT?  
3. I also wanna let Austria know I burned your piano and I am the one who told  
Prussia to give you that tattoo. AND sent 2p Iggy after you YOU. WILL. NEVER.  
FIND. ME.

"Um...when tow of our citizens love each other very, very much..."

Toni rolled her eyes. "You guys are strange. And ja, I know the plot of Death Not, I just don't really...know know it."

"Because I am awesome~!"

"Antonia, what's the number of your tattoo guy?"

"I SHALL NEVER TELL YOU, AUSTRIA! THAT TAT WILL STAY THERE FOREVAH!"

_**A/N: Ja, was gonna do a chapterfest but it came out too...derpy. Derp! Happy 200th, guys! **_

_**~Toni**_


	202. BTTFangirl14 22

"NUUHS! WE'VE LOST ONE TO THE DARK SIDE!"

"NEIN!"

**I sent 2p Iggy after Austria and I would never send him after you guys your  
too awesome! I DID NOT NEED THAT EXPLANATION! TMI! TMI! anyways...  
1. Toni, I know you're gonna have a major fangirl nosebleed after this, watch  
a hetalia color police video  
2. DELETE THE NUMBER! NEVER LET HIM HAVE IT! AND I WANT HUNGARY TO SEE THE  
TATTOO! I wanna see her face when she sees it! she'll probably think it's yaoi  
or something but tell her it's not! I DON'T WANT HER TO THINK IT WAS PruAus! I  
HATE THAT PAIRING SO MUCH! I HATE FRUK AS WELL! SO MESSED UP!  
3. Well Austria shirt less, I don't know whether to think fan service or just  
be weirded out. UUHHHH! CURSE YOU HORMONES! gahh! why am I thinking about  
that! I need help!  
4. Toni and Prussia, will you help me see the Austria hate light again? IT  
NEEDS TO STOP! **

"Oh, sweet mother of Prussia, MAH NOSE..."

"What tattoo?"

"Nnothing."

"Ja, ask Austria. And we had nothing to do with it."

Hungary ran off, nosebleeding from her imagination alone.

"PRUSAUS! KILL IT KILL IT! IT'S LIKE THOSE STUPID SPIDERS, THOSE EIGHT-LEGGED BASTARDS!"

"Austria is a priss with an annoying accent."

"The most effeminate guy in Hetalia...HE'S MY ENEMY!"

"Ja, it does need to stop! Go listen to Mein Gott on loop! GO! SCHNELL!"


	203. Bururu 32

"Ok, night, and MOTTO!"

**PruAus... that actually made it onto my Top Five Favorite Pairings list. It  
looks like this:  
1. FrUk  
2. FrUs  
3. PruHun  
4. PruCan  
5. PruAus**

FrUs is AWESOMENESS. It might even top FrUk in my books. It's so beautiful.  
/sniffs/  
/bursts into tears/  
Je suis très désolé for getting mad at Romania, I just think Hungary is  
awesomer. Wait I don't think that helps...  
/bursts into tears again/  
Je suis déslolé for analyzing your father's character the wrong way! You  
know his short little videos look a lot like Walt Disney's...  
But seriously, I still feel really bad for Hungary... being portrayed as the  
only villain, along with Serbia.  
So I'll make a new villain.  
France, can you go Dark! France for us for awhile? And be super possessive  
over America, but Tonia, find a way so that America's weaker than France for  
the time that France is Dark! France.  
France. This is your mission. Make America be submissive. Make him call you  
master or something. /fangirls/ But no maid dresses.  
But you can have fun with him. Ooh! Public submission! PUBLIC SUBMISSION!  
Désolé. Hungarian side again.

So England. Go punk rocker for a long time. Please. /nosebleeds/  
Ooh! Tonia! España! Monsieur Stark! Go have an epic time at Arby's! "Toni"  
time... heh...  
/bad pun/  
Make sure to get five cats for five deutsch marks, ja?  
-Bururu 

"Eeew...PrusAus," Toni and Prussia chorused.

"It's not that bad, really!" Toni said, gesturing frantically. "I've been thinking, maybe you're right. I suppose, he was kind of like that to onii-chan, I mean, y'know, with all that synthesizing the new element and stuff. But I think I was just the extra piece." she looked down. "The one who had no place in his master plan, ja? I also...get the feeling that he thought I turned out- or was going to turn out- as someone who took after my brother too much. And maybe I have, I dunno."

"Onhonhonhonhonhon~"

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, CHICA! DARK!FRANCE IS A RAPIST!"

Toni dragged the other two into her lab. "Go rape America, France!"

After Dark!France left, they exited.

"OMG OMG. Punk!Iggy," Toni said, covering up her nose. "Punk. Iggy. Mein gott."

"Someone called, love?"

"Ooh, ja, France is trying to rape America."

"That wanker!" England said, somehow making it sound punk. He left to go chase France.

"Awwww ja! I get dared to spend time with my onii-chan! FIVE CATS FOR FIVE DEUTSCHMARKS AT ARBY'S! Ii ze makasetzoke!"


	204. Florin of Ilia 11

"Oooh god...snapped!Canada is coming for us."

**OMG, the BTT teaching my classes would probably be my happiest day this year,  
involving school! XD I really liked how the dish Spain taught us turned out.  
:X Paella, right?**

And France arguing with England/Britain was hilarious! Too bad you two  
realized you were arguing in front of us. I wanted to see a brawl.

AND PRUSSIA. OMG. That. Was the best Socials Studies Class I had. Especially  
Mein Gott. Toni, let me see what I can do; maybe I can get you to be Prussia's  
assistant!

Anyway.

So, I was like, watching a HetaOni Douga. France, you deserve a hug. Right  
now. Because you were an awesometastic big brother to Italy. And Canada. *hugs  
France* In HetaOni...just, wow. HetaOni makes me cry so much.

Well, time to give you your dares.

France, I want you to blow up EVERY SINGLE McDonalds in USA, with any  
explosives you have. Then tell America that you did it, and that Captain  
America SUCKS compared to Iron Man. Then accept whatever he throws at you.

Spain! You have to go all conquistador and kidnap Italy(Veneziano), like, be  
in your pirate garb. Then tell Romano that he has to kiss you (on the lips) to  
get him back. Threaten him, do whatever it takes to get that kiss! (SPAMANO!)

Prussia, you go steal Canada's maple syrup. ALL OF IT. Then drink/dispose it  
in front of Canada. Oh, as an added bonus, take his polar bear away.

Toni, you just go spend the day with the Baltic Trio, okay? 

"Oui for hugs~!"

"OH. YEAH. For the vegetarians, France! GOOO!"

"Quoi? Non-"

France had already been shoved out the door.

"Dios!"

"Hmph, if it makes you bastards all happy I'll kiss the tomato bastard."

"ROMANO WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU GET HERE!?"

"None of your business, bastard!"

~Insert Yaoi here~

"Prussia...I love you, kay? Don't get killed by snapped!Canada's hockey stick."

"Tchüs..."

Prussia left.

"Sure, I can spend a day with the Baltics. But my onii-chan is picking me up soon for the long weekend. I'm leaving to go to NYC with him, visit the fam. Mutti and the uncles. Psh, I know it's not biological (and they'd technically be more like lots of brothers) I just do."

Toni pulled out her phone.

"Ja, onii says he's coming to pick me up tomorrow morning...but I'm leaving the BTT in charge of the ask box, hopefully it doesn't go that badly. All right, off to go find the Baltics!"

Toni left.


	205. Qualeisha Marshall

"All right...this is our first attempt at flying this plane without Toni, let's see how it goes..."

***witness the huge amount of comments* This is definitely a good fan-fic if it has that many reviews. I shall add this to favorites. To the amazing writer, thanks a bunches.**

To the Bad Touch Trio, I has some dares for you three.

For Prussia, I dare you to run naked across Switzerland's front lawn screaming "MOTHER FUCKER I AM SO DAMN AWESOME, LOOK AT ME RUN BITCH".

For Spain, I dare you to order nine large crates of freshly ripe tomatoes and ten boxes of pizzas, send them to Italy and Romano.

To France, (take England out of his comfort zone) I dare you to take and leave England at a strip club, next have Japan take pictures of him, having to let the half and/or naked women rub against him(make sure the women are sexy and that he deals with it, don't let him leave). As for you, have America take you and leave you at the Playboy Mansion.

(you did say dares and here they are, enjoy) 

"Oh, that's easy!" Prussia said. "The awesome me has done that before!"

He ran off.

Spain was already on the phone.

"Hola Roma~! Did you get the present~?"

"Onhonhonhonhon~! Do you mean the actual playboy mansion or Toni's brother's house?" he paused. "Kidding, in case Toni sees this."

France ran out laughing evilly.

~Meanwhile, in Stark Tower, New York City, New York State...~

Toni pulled out her cell phone as it buzzed.

**From: Iggy-land**

**To: Me**

**That wanker France has forced me to go into a strip club. **

**From: The totally not hero **

**To: Me**

**Why did France lock me in your brother's house...**

Toni deadpanned. "Fuck, I'm going to kill them, can they not do anything without me?"

"Something wrong, little sister dear?"

"Nah, nothing onii-chan," Toni responded, putting her phone away. "Nothing at all."


	206. Alaska 4

"Well. Toni's still in NYC, having an awesome time with out us; or so her last text said. Here goes..."

**Hello again everyone!  
You have probably missed me and my little dares, yes? Do not worry, I am still here  
I have been reading all of your chapters. All of them. I noticed the comment about Hawaii. If you touch her, I will rip your face off. :) Of course you cannot touch her right now, she is still in my basement. So... dares... hmmm... I really cannot think of anything right now. My head feels a little funny, mabye it was something I drank. I think I will find Illinois to relieve some stress on.**

Hehehehehehehehehehehehehee! Hello loves! Eat a cuppycake!

I am back friends  
Well I have though up some dares now.

Spain, please wash my clothes. *points to pile of clothes drenched in blood* If my scarf becomes pink like my fathers, I will relieve you permenatly of all pain.

France: chop off your fingers. All of them. For real. They will grow back eventually. But them in a blender and make a smoothie. Make England drink it

Toni: Come to my house. And live with me for a week. We will have fun, yes? *check closet to make sure there are still marshmallows and bullets*

Prussia: fit yourself into a dishwasher any way possible and stay there for a day while it is on. And please tell me if I should get a dishwasher. They sound interesting, but father never had one so I haven't gotten one yet.

Everyone:  
Oh please tell me, who do all of you individually like better. *as a friend* America or Russia? *smiles and holds crowbar dipped in acid* Choose carefully :)

Bye 

"Toni's not here right now..." Prussia said. "And...honestly...don't kill me, Toni, but America. Please don't kill me either, Alaska. That's un-awesome."

"Oui, well, Russia and Amerique? Hm. I say Russie. We have had many alliances over the years. And QUOI? These things do not simply grow back!"

"Oh, si...I do not know! I haven't spent much time with either, but I'd have to choose America, since I've spent the most time with him, si?"

Prussia's phone buzzed.

**From: Awesome Girlfriend**

**To: The Awesome Me**

**I really hope you guys aren't getting yourselves killed right now...I checked my Email. Russia, BTW. **

**~Toni.**

"Well," Prussia said. "Apparently Toni chooses Russia...that feud she has going with America must be pretty un-awesome."

"Oui, from what she would disclose it sounded impressive...apparently Amerique insists that Captain America is better than her and her brother, and we all know how she reacts to that."

Prussia winced. "We're going to have to talk to America about his un-awesome inability to sense when he's truly hurting someone..."

The other two nodded.

"All right, here goes..."

~Extended Ending (I.E, a week or so later)~

"Guys, I'm home...WAS? What did you do?"

"...Alaska..."

Toni facepalmed. "Fuck."


	207. Romania 15

Toni dropped her phone.

"I think, this is the first letter to make me legitimately fear for my life."

***Happily ignoring phone calls from Bulgaria and sewing another voodoo doll* Tonia do you agree with Norway and England that I take my anger out badly? *Has four voodoo dolls in various states of torture or states of being destroyed* That one that's tied to the burning bushel of hay is Moldova... he never did come back. That one being hung by his leg without an arm is Transylvania. He needed to be punished since he gave me a lot of lip yesterday. That one on Alaska's saw (that I stole from your house) is Hungary. That one that got ripped up by wolves was Serbia. The one I'm making now is Bulgaria. He needs to be punished. ((He's in his more twisted state of mind right now.)) I think I'll impale this one. I don't know why England and Norway are worried about me. I'm fine. Just fine... I had one of Turkey, but I lost it after throwing it in the fireplace with a fire going. *Smiles innocently making the other two members of the magic trio back away slowly* **

"NORU! IGGY! FUCK!" Toni spazzed out, then calmed down.

"Ok, Antonia, do this calmly." She let out a breath. "Um...I think that's kind of drastic, actually...but I take out my anger by shooting holes in the wall of my lab. After people started asking me about the old days, I shot the my initials into the wall. But then I realized I should just talk it out with the guys. They're really sweet when they want to be. The truth is, I don't really get why you guys fight all the time. Especially between brothers. But that's just me, I mean, I'm really close with my onii-chan. But anyway. I realized that it would stop feeling like some demon was trying to claw the inside of my skull and carve 'Captain America' into my bones if I talked to someone...I hope this makes sense to other people, because it makes sense to me." Toni paused. "I really hope this helps, because even thinking about it drives me into the emo corner. Big brother...I love you and miss you." she paused again to wipe her eyes. "I miss you so much, onii-chan..."


	208. Illinois and New York 6

"Well then. Good luck."

**New York- You ready? Your next dare is...  
Illinois- You guys have to steal vodka from Russia and give it to us.  
New York- While you're at it, take some sunflowers too. Because of the dirty  
video that almost broke Illy's brain.  
Illinois- Hurry on the vodka would you, Pere?**

"Was?!"

"Before you even ask- ja, it has to be done."

"Ugh, fine."

~A few hours later~

Toni's phone began to play the Avengers theme. She answered.

"Hallo?"

"Kolkolkol...do your friends have anything to do with my missing Vodka and Sunflowers? If they are, I will introduce them to Mr. Pipe."

"Um. I actually don't know, Russia, I haven't seen them today. They got an email, then left."

"Da."

"Kay, bye."


	209. Bururu 33

"I'm not the only one!"

**Ehehehehehehe.../giggling nervously/  
I'm afraid for my life now. Please don't kill me Romania. I'm only part Hungarian. /looks away and thinks/ It is a major part of my heritage... I'm also majorly part North Italian... It's just...  
I DON'T WANT TO DIE PLEASE DON'T KILL ME AND WHAT IF I'M NOT DEAD BUT JUST LAYING ON THE GROUND DYING IN PAIN IN A POOL OF MY OWN BLOOD! I JUST DON'T WANT TO DIIIEEEE!  
... /silence/  
Massachusetts: Dammit, did she faint again? Cowardly Italian.  
Anyways, /rummages around Bururu's pockets/ /takes out slip of paper/  
Alright then, she's written that she wants brie, baguettes, ingredients for French Onion soup, pot-au-feu, brioche... Oh never mind that's her grocery list. But can you send that stuff anyways? I don't have French food that often. Tea and scones and roast beef and crumpets and fish and chips and... /shivers/ That is all I had to eat growing up. I absolutely despise it. The only thing I enjoy is tea, alongside coffee.  
Don't start on me with "Boston Tea Party" I've heard quite enough of that anyways.  
So... real dares. /pulls out other paper/ Alright then...  
"Prussia go smash England's head against a wall until it smashes, da?  
France, go jump off a plane at least 500 feet in the air screaming "AMOOOOUUUR!". If will become my new "Pasta" after "Vodka". Oh, and no parachutes or protection against the fall. Ooh! Do it in snow so you'll get frostbite.  
And by that I mean you can do Austria in the snow. Just kidding. No sex for you for 4000 years, da? Unless it is at my request.  
Spain, go impale Romano with a tree trunk."  
Oh dear. It seems she only got to write up the dares she had while in Kolkholz mode.  
Oh well. Perform them anyways.  
-Commonwealth of Massachusetts  
Bururu: Did'jya do some'in withou' moi...?  
MA: No... of course not. **

"HOLY SONOFABITCH!" Toni said, jumping. "That...SUCKS FOR YOUU!"

"Was? Die hölle do we do?!"

"Quoi!? No AMOUR?

~Laters~

"The loopholes you idiots come up with...we're going to be murdered for this."

"Non, we won't."

"I'd just like to say that they blackmailed me into using my suit to keep France from dying."

"LIES! It was your idea, ja!"

"No it wasn't."

"Si, it was."

"IT FUCKING WASN'T, ALL RIGHT!"


	210. Romania 16

"Shiznuts..." Toni said, diving under the couch blankets.

**Well you see, the tiff with my brothers is as followed. Moldova doesn't want  
to go back to being Romanian territory. He's none to polite about it sometimes  
and I hate it when he sasses me. *Rips the Moldova voodoo dolls head off*  
Transylvania was Hungarian territory for quite some time before I won him back  
and made him my province. But his hungarian heritage is really freaking  
strong, so he's always sassing me and cussing me out. *Tears the Transylvania  
voodoo doll in half***

As for the others, you can just look in a history book to see that me and  
Hungary have hated each other our whole lives. *Stakes the Hungary voodoo  
doll* Turkey kept trying to invade my land at the same time I was fighting  
Hungary during Vlad the Impaler's reign so I don't like him very much. *Sewing  
a new Turkey voodoo doll* You already get my tiff with Bulgaria although it's  
minor and will probably pass soon. *Bulgaria voodoo doll has pins in it and  
one random nail in its forehead*

You understand me, which is why I talk to you. And made you a little gift.  
*Gives Tonia a Captain America voodoo doll* It works really well as a stress  
reliever. England. stop taking the pins out of Bulgaria, he needs to be  
punished! 

Toni stared at the Captain America voodoo doll.

Then she pushed it away.

"I've said many times before, it's not Cap I hate. It's what happened to my brother and me because of him. Because of him, I'm still trying to make up for lost time with my onii-chan. But it wasn't his fault. It was what our father did in his name. And the only thing he does that really pisses me off is when he says I should be more like my father. I'm not him, and I'm not my father." she paused. "Stress relievers? Maybe I should send the stress expert...but then, I wouldn't be liable if things get destroyed, ja? I think it's obvious who I'm talking about. I'll have to shoot him a text, but he's a nice enough guy. Y'know, until he loses control and turns into an enormous green rage monster. And I see about all the fighting now. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been better to grow up normally with my brother and fight with him, rather than having to work so desperately to make up for it all. And, here's something I've never told anyone, but Noru knows..." she paused. "When Noru helped me talk to my father, he said something equivalent to 'It would have been better if you had never met your brother.' Family is annoying, but you can't live with it; can't live without it, ja?"


	211. Romania 17

"Hey, Toni, you've got one," Prussia said, looking at the email.

"Hm, really? Read it out loud," Toni said, taking a sip of her juice.

***hugs Bururu* It's ok, I might be a little off in the head but I'm a nice guy.  
I won't hurt you unless you hurt me first. *Gives Bururu a plate of cookies* I  
didn't mean to scare you, so no hard feelings.**

*goes back to his voodoo and noticed some of them were missing* Whoever is  
trying to break my habit of using voodoo to get revenge isn't going to succeed  
so just give me them back. Toni, please find out who took them. This can be  
your dare.

Prussia, I'm feeling mischievous today. Go over to Canada's house and act like  
you are schizophrenic. He has to believe it too, otherwise you need make all  
your Gilbirds die.

France, I have a cane in my bedroom closet with a red gem at the top that has  
a blade hidden inside. Find it and test how sharp it is by cutting off your  
vital regions as slowly as you can. I need to know if it needs to be  
sharpened.

Spain, have a sex session with North Italy while South Italy is forced to  
watch, but cannot intervene. Then face Romano's wrath for an hour afterwards  
where you are not allowed to fight back or run.

Now I need to call Transylvania about Moldova. 

**And as an add on to my last comment, I took a personality quiz to see who  
would be my ideal match from various medias and I got Tony Stark as my ideal  
match... does that mean I'm dating your brother? **

Toni did a spit-take. "Oh god..." she then headdesked. "I don't think so...he's currently involved...and I think he's straight, jdging by the sounds that come out of his room whenever Pep visits..."

She pulled a face. "It's not my fault they're so bloody loud...ARE YOU READING THIS, ONII-CHAN?! GOOD."

She leaned back in the chair.

"Good luck with your vital regions, France~"

"NON!"

~Much, Much later when the BTT returned~

Toni was asleep on the couch when Prussia returned. He wandered over and tried to shake her, but she didn't wake up.

"Toni? Toni!"

"Mmn...vatti, bitte, no..."

"Toni, I'm not your vatti, wake up!"

"Vatti..."

Prussia paled. "Someone get Norway...didn't she say that Loki can cast hexes? I'm getting un-awesomely worried."

"Vatti..." Toni begged in her sleep. "Bitte, no, please don't say that! I did my best, really!"

Prussia was now looking very worried.

"Toni...Toni, mein liebe," He said quietly. "Wake up."

"V-Vatti...please, let me go..."

Prussia leaned over Toni.

"Liebe! It's the awesome me! That is in the past, it's gone, and I am not your Vatti!"

Toni rolled over.

"The hell are you doing, Preußen?"

Prussia grinned.

"Just saving you."

"Oh, shut it, I can save myself."


	212. ImCanada331

"Who? ...lol nope, JK, hallo Canada! I used to live next door to you!"

"...who?"

"Ah, mon petit!"

"Hallo, Birdie!"

**ImCanada331:Konata: Well hi there! Kona-chan and Canada here!  
Canada: B-bonjour…  
Konata: I have absolutely no idea what kind of dares I should give you… Ah!  
Get kicked out of Wal-Mart! That's always fun!  
Canada: That's a little random, eh?  
Konata: And kiss Canada while you're at it!  
Canada: E-eh?!**

"JA! I'ma hide in the clothes racks and yell 'Pick me, pick me!' and walk into the changing rooms and yell 'THERE IS NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!' and dart around suspiciously humming the Mission Impossible theme..."

"Ok, fine, ja, let's go be too awesome for Wal-Mart!"

"Wait," Toni said, pausing to give Canada a kiss on the cheek. He turned bright red.

The rest of the BTT took this as a signal to glomp poor Canada.


	213. Euphimialibritannia221

Toni burst out laughing.

"Was?"

"Here, read this."

**For Prussia-  
I dare you to...crash a random wedding and literally say to the groom "DON'T  
YOU DARE TOUCH MY WIFE, THAT IS RIGHT EVERYONE, THAT WOMAN IS MY WIFE AND SHE  
BETRAYED ME FOR THAT **" Make sure when you run away you take some food and  
drinks with you. You gotta make this all sound believable to everyone(you'll  
have to do some searching for said wedding).**

For France-  
I dare you to...(good gracious lord forgive me)pretend to be a priest. Start  
your own little church, to help out the single and helpless women who are in  
need of your "assistance". These women have to be beautiful and needy of your  
"help". I'm pretty sure you can make the rest of this work some how.

For Spain-  
I dare you to...bring Romano and Italy along with you to help give "private  
guitar lessons" to the sexy Spanish and/or Italian women *hands him some  
Trojans*. I believe you know what happens next.

For the writer-  
I added this as favorites, this is good, I shall be back.

"As long as it's not my onii-chan's wedding, Preußsn," Toni said, still snickering. "He isn't married yet, but it will happen...soon...Pepperony...mufufu."

Everyone: O_o WTF?

"Onhonhonhon~! I like this!"

"Dios! Me gusta!"

"GET A ROOM!" Toni yelled, chucking a pillow at them as they left. France paused in the door.

"Maybe while we are gone, you and la Prusse should get a room, onhonhonhon-"

Toni whammed him with a pillow and he left.

"Oh! Danke! Welcome to the insanity!"


	214. Romania 18

"Oh! Right, um, sorry."

**Toni did you find my Voodoo dolls yet? Also, give me a run down on how their  
dares went. I want to know what happened. *Sitting on England's back crushing  
him and putting pins back in the Bulgaria voodoo dolls head* **

Toni had dark circles under her eyes. "England's there? Can you stop killing him and ask if he has something for..." she blushed. "...something for nightmares, bitte? I don't know. I'm too tired. France, he..." Toni spaced out for a second. "Ah! He passed out from blood loss. Canada...got really scared and kicked Prussia out. And Romano gave Spain a black eye. C-Can I please have whatever potions England knows for nightmares? A-All this thinking and talking about my father is getting to me, bitte..."


	215. Bururu 34

"TONI! Wake up, you have an email!"

"Was?"

**/screeches in horror at chap. 210/  
AAAAAAH! I'm so DEAD!  
/runs off to take refuge in Australia/**

Massachusetts: I cannot believe she would leave me AGAIN. Australia's the other way,child.  
Bururu: /changes direction/ Merci!  
Massachusetts: /sighs and pinches bridge of nose/ Must she always be like this? Good God.  
Anyways, I suppose I should ask dares now.  
Prussia, would you PLEASE go to New York and tell him that his sports teams aren't "awesome". I'm sick and tired of it all.  
But still... the Red Sox, Patriots, Bruins and Celtics are obviously superior. And totally wicked. (Not that kind of wicked, Magic Trio...)  
Antonia... can you please get Hungary to stay away from Boston October 27th? My Hetalia Day meetup is then, and I'd prefer her not wreck my house and home. Or force every Bostonian man to turn gay. Of course, that wouldn't be a negative affect, in fact, it could boost homosexual support. However, I'm more afraid of the things Hungary might make them do in public... I'd prefer the streets of my capitol not to be turned into a big pornography center. They were hard enough to drive through in the first place.  
Oh, please inform America that there are still some towns in my state that are banned from making McDonald's. I'd like to improve the economy and employment situation in any way I can, no matter how small.  
Make. Him. Fix. It.

I suppose I should let you continue on now.  
I really haven't the foggiest idea when Bururu will come back and relieve me of watching over her account...

Sincerely,  
The Commonwealth of Massachusetts 

"Hi," Toni said, rubbing her eyes. "And can I say thank you for interrupting the longest period of sleep I've been able to get for days? Ja."

"NOTHING IS AWESOMER THAN THE AWESOME ME! KYAA!"

"Keep it down, Preußen!" Toni snapped. "And ja...I'll try...if I've got enough sleep by then..."

Toni closed her eyes, and there was a long pause. She suddenly jumped, letting out a small cry of "Bror!"

She blushed. "S-Sorry...I'll do my best."

_((Toni has been having these nightmares lately and we're worried about her. What do we do? She always wakes up calling out for her brother, or telling her father to stop whatever-it-is he did to her. We're really worried and would like some advice. She's going to die of sleep deprivation soon, so please hurry. Toni's our friend and we hate to see her like this. Sincerely, The Bad Touch Trio and The Nordics.))_


	216. Romania 19

"Well, I wasn't the one freaking out. They were."

"I was totally not freaking out, Norge!"

"Yes, you were, stop lying Danmark."

**Norway, calm down. You know we have spells and potions for that sort of thing.  
England is mixing a sleep potion now and I'm already working on the spell for  
her nightmares. We have it under control... here ya go Tonia. Just take that  
potion with food otherwise you'll throw up. *Casts the spell and England gives  
her potion, then Romania pushes England down and sits on his back again* Much  
comfier than the floor. *goes back to sewing* Don't worry England, your spine  
will go back into alignment... maybe.**

Btw, if Transylvania shows up then I'm not here. I don't want to talk to him.

"Maybe you should go check on England rather than me? I'm fine."

"No you're not!" Denmark exclaimed. "YOU'RE NOT SLEEPING! ONLY NORGE DOESN'T SLEEP!"

"I do sleep, Danmark," Norway said. "I just don't sleep a lot."

"You do not sleep-GACK!"

"Stop bloody arguing and give me the potion," Toni snapped. "I'd like to have twenty-four hours of uninterrupted, dreamless sleep bitte?"

The two stopped. Iceland gave Toni a sympathetic look, she returned a weak smirk.

"H're," Sweden muttered, handing Toni a box of cereal.

"Danke, Su-sama."

Toni took the potion. "Now...go check on Iggy-land...bitte..."

Norway nodded and left, Toni pulled the sheets up. "Just leave me alone for a while, guys...Thank you."

The other Nordics nodded and left.


	217. Florina of Ilia 12

"Hm, yeah, that's what we thought."

**Hmmm, how are you all? I got another dare for ya'll!**

France: You cannot have any indecent 'France' like thoughts, nor can you say  
or do anything associated with anything that's close to flirting/pervyness for  
the next 3 days. You have to be decent, and proper. Like a lawyer? XD I don't  
know. *walks in and straps a collar on France* The collar will shock you if  
you think, say, or do anything that's suggesting the above, and if you get  
shocked 3 times, you have to go and burn all your rose gardens. Or blow them  
up. I don't care.

Prussia, Spain, and Toni if she's feeling well: You guys have to incite France  
into thinking, or saying anything that's close to pervyness/flirting. Do  
whatever it takes. And I mean whatever.

[And for the Nordics/BTT's eyes only]

(Hmm, about Toni's nightmares...I can't say I can really help you guys...Maybe  
she should see a therapist? I mean, she HAS been through a lot when she was  
young...Possibly trauma? I hope this helps!)

Toni was still curled up on the couch. Prussia nodded.

"Ja, that's what we think...but she's kind of...un-awesomely stubborn sometimes? I think she mentioned before that her brother blows things up as a release..." he shrugged. "It just sucks to see her in an un-awesome rut like this."

France tested the collar with his hands. "Mon dieu! A whole day without amour?"

"Toni would have gotten a kick out of this," Prussia said quietly. The other two nodded.

"Vamos, let's go into another room for this, si Prusia? We can do that thing where we-" Spain leaned over and whispered something into Prussia's ear. The Germanic ex-nation smirked.

"Oh. Ja. For sure. C'mon."

Needless to say, it worked, and it involved both Spain and Prussia sacrificing their dignity in view of the all-seeing computer that is Toni's house.

_((Danke for the advice! Toni's improving, she's still sleeping a lot though. :( _

_But she'll be back up and running soon. _

_Interesting fact: We figured out that there was a small malfunction waiting to blow in her Arc Reactor. Her brother mended it. _

_...could she have been subconciously picking up on it and her dreams were trying to tell her to make peace? Austria's the Freudian one, not us. ~The BTT & Nordics))_


	218. BTTFangirl14 24

"Oh, ja! She's in her room with him right now."

**HOLY **! Toni are you ok? what might help is talking about your dreams with  
your ni-chan. I'm sure he'll gladly help you out and do whatever he can to  
help. Also I hope you get better and if I can help in anyway let me know! also  
on a good note, I AM CURED! your advice really helped me out a lot so thank  
you for that! here are my dares/questions  
1. can I have the pictures of the tattoo as blackmail?  
2. Toni, who is your favorite Hetalia character? mine is a tie between  
Hungary, Prussia, and Belarus.  
3. have you told your brother about this yet? (not this he already knows, but  
I meant the dreams)  
BYE! **

"Ja!" Prussia said, waving the pictures around in the air. "We have many of them and pin them on Austria's piano."

Toni walked down the stairs, wearing a bathrobe, and read the email.

"Tied for first are...Prussia, Norgie, England, and Aisu. And ja, I have told him, he came into my bedroom last night. He skipped a board meeting for me." she smiled. "Thanks for the concern, I'm feeling a lot better."

"You're welcome," Prussia muttered. Toni gave him a playful whack.

"Ja, we've been talking all day up there. It feels good, to spend some time with him...maybe I should get sick more."


	219. Romania 20

"Ja..." Prussia said, sneaking a look over at Toni, who was eating.

**Well, I'm glad she's ok. That was kinda scary. (Says the guy who watched his  
boss eat brains and impale people then displayed them along his border.)  
*Still sitting on England's back, with Norway leaning against his own back to  
read* We have a weird way helping each other out. Best wishes to Tonia when  
she wakes up. **

"Hm? Oh! Danke! Like I said, I'm feeling a lot better now, having a visit from my onii-chan. As long as England doesn't die or anything, I don't think I have the energy for that." She stood up, throwing her bowl in the sink and walking back up the stairs.

"Onhonhonhon~! Antonette, you should celebrate by- AGH MON DIEU IT HURTS LIKE SRIRACHA ROOSTER SAUCE!"

"Kse!" Toni snickered. "Back to normal, I guess."


	220. xXASilverCoinlololXx 8

"Meh...it's ok...do you still want me to do your anon review or not?"

**OH. OH GODS. LOST MY PASSWORD FOR . COULDN'T READ UNTIL NOW.  
HOLY**IN'HELLTONIAWHATDIDYOUDOGETBETT ERNOW! D: Hm. I can't even come up with  
a complete dare right now D: Um... Guys, go buy ** for Toni.. And like...  
Spain, Prussia, redecorate the closets or something to cheer her up when she  
wakes up... I dunno.. Um... And France, go burn everything even remotely  
related to sex in your house... Including romance novels. Um.. And you can't  
buy anything like that for another month.. Um... Good luck... Oh gods I feel  
guilty! D: **

"Ah. I love this. Free milkshakes, chocolate, love...I like this. But the only downside is that it really sucked. I think I'm better now, though...just sleeping like Greece, haha."

"MON DIEU, NON! That would involve burning my house!"

Toni facepalmed. "Pervert...and don't feel guilty! I'm much better! And, I think, now that my onii-chan and I are a bit more open about what went between us and our vatter...we're closer. And that's better for me."


	221. Romania 21

"Oh, well, that's good!"

"Antonette...I can't breathe..."

"And here's where I'd put a fuck...IF I GAVE ONE!"

**England... is a little red in the face. Maybe we should get off now. *Gets up  
and lets England breath, then kicks down France and sits on his back* Comfy.  
*smiles brightly as Tonia* I made up with my brother too. Well Moldova anyway.  
He's so cute and called me recently. We talked for a few hours and I don't  
even remember why we were fighting this time. It's nice to have him around  
again.  
Moldova: Hehehe, I'm glad to be here too. **

"Oh, that's good! We were never fighting in the first place, really, we were still...kind of...separate. Honestly, he's not really the type (and he'll kill me for spreading this across the internets) but he's kind of protective. I think that his biggest regret was not being able to raise me." Toni shrugged. "IT kind of worked out...but not in the way my father expected, really, and I'm happy for that."

"Antonia...I can't breathe..."

"Like I said. Here's where I'd put a fuck...IF I GAVE ONE!"

France sighed.

"Where is the oxygen? I think my lungs are getting crushed..."

"First cabinet in the lab, the one labeled Oxygen, but I'm not getting it."

"Are you still mad that I think you and Prusse should show each other you amour-OOF!"

Toni stepped on France. "Shut it, Francis."


	222. Bururu 35

"OMG! My friend has that belt!"

**Massachusetts here.  
Bururu's still off in who knows where. (My guess is either she's still in  
Australia, she's hiding amongst the crowded population of China, or she's  
taken refuge with her French relatives in France.)  
She's also very excited about a Hetalia belt and shirt that came in the mail  
today. It's one of Hot Topic's seat belt belts, and it has just about every  
animated nation in Chibi form and their flag. It also has the Hetalia: Axis  
Powers logo on the buckle.**

Yes, so... I found a set of dares she wrote for me. Ahem.  
"Go read my awesome college AU fic with the awesome Prussia getting to laugh  
in that stupid Austrian's face after Hungary dumped Roddy. Just kidding, but  
feel free to look at it. IT NOW HAS AWESOME!  
Also, Spain, impale Romano with a tree trunk! And Roma can't have anything to  
make the pain lessen!  
Then... France onii-sama, you get to spend the day with N. Italy and DO  
WHATEVER YOU WANT."  
Yes, she scares me too. Please send candy.

Sincerely,  
The Commonwealth of Massachusetts 

"Was? I do? Aw, I don't."

"NO! ROMANO!"

"What is it, tomato bastard!"

"ROMANO." Toni said, shoving him out the door. "Don't question it, just run. That's what you Italians are good at...JUST RUN."

As we know, they are very good at it. Romano demonstrated this.

"Onhonhonhon~!"

"Oh god...at least send the video to Hungary," Toni complained. "I don't neede your sex tapes around my house. I mistook one of them as the video my onii-chan sent me of-" she looked down. "Something personal, but I ended up with your stupid sex tape of Prussia. You broke my capillaries, idiot. You know what...ALL OF YOU, GTFO. And go do your dares. GO."

~Much, much later~

"DAMMIT, FRANCE! I told you not to leave your sex tapes lying around!"

"Onhonhonhonhon~"

"And Spain! Blood infusions, top left cabinet, Romano's type B negative! It was in his file, so don't call me a stalker!"


	223. Romania 22

"MMPH!"

"Was hast du gesagt, Frankreich?" Prussia asked.

**Romania: Kekekekeke, take that France!  
Moldova: *Sits on France's head* Try to complain now!  
Romania: He makes me so proud. Ok. um, Tonia, you think the BTT is up for a  
few dares? Moldova has a few. **

Toni grinned. "We are always open for these things. Except for me, I shut down around midnight and whenever people cross the line with what they say. Fire away!" Toni gestured to the trio.

"This is their sole purpose in life, to provide me with amusement."

"So fraulein, does that mean~?"

"Not THAT kind of amusement!"


	224. Aine and Arata 2

"DOCTOR WHO FANS UNITE!"

**Dear BTT,  
Aine and Arata: Yo BTT! We got some stuff for you! And we love Doctor Who too!  
X3**

Prussia: Give us a legit reason of why you think you're so awesome. Then sing  
Mein Gott.  
France: Why are you such a pervert? Then have a fencing match with England.  
Spain: Do you hate England for the pirate days when he sunk your whole armada?  
Oh and no Lovino and tomatoes for a week. :3 

"Because...my country (when I was still a country, that is) once ruled a large piece of Europe, including mein bruder, which he conveniently, un-awesomely forgets. And I'm dating Tony Stark's little sister."

"Hai...OMG! Mein Gott!"

Toni and Prussia exchanged a high five. "Duet, mein liebe?"

"JA!"

"Dareka ga yonderu

Ore wo yondeiru

Ii ze makasetoke iku ze

Motto! Motto!

Higashi e nishi e to

Hashiritsuzukeru ze

Omae ga nozomu nara

Nadeteyaru

Sou sa tatakau shika nai nara

Yaru shika nai sa

Oresama saikou! Saikyou!

Saigo ni warau nowa Ja!

Oresama! Kimatta ze!

Danke!

Saijou! Saikyou!

Omaera tataete ii ze

Dekai yume miseteyaru

Rensen renshou gachi da ze!

Hitorikiri no heya

Kyou mo shitatameru

Oresama MEMORIARU kaku ze

Motto! Motto!

Kotori yo saepure ore no tame ni

Iyasareteyaru Niyo niyo!

Yabai shiawase wo yobu panda

Damasarenai ze

Oresama sanjou! Enjou!

Yaritai houdai amareu ze

Oyaji mitetekure!

Mein Gott!

Pinchi! Panchi!

Toki niwa mushaburui da ze

(...Kono gurai ni shiteyaru)

Kisei gyakuten asuru ze!

Subete no chizu itsukawa kono te ni...

Warainagara kakenukeru ze..." Prussia let Toni take the next verse, where before they had been singing as one.

"Sou sa yowasa no sei janakute

Tsuyosugiru no sa..." Prussia joined back in.

Oresama saikou! Saikyou!

Saigo ni warau nowa Ja!

Oresama! Kimatta ze

Danke!

Minna! Koi yo!

MEADO no togashite ii ze?

Hitori tanoshi sugiru ze

Kono te ni subete wo! Mattero!

Rensen renshou gachi da ze!

(Beobachten Sie es bitte, Fritz Vater

Beobachten Sie es bitte, Fritz Vater

Beobachten Sie es bitte, Fritz Vater)"

"JA!" Toni cheered, high-fiving Prussia.

"Awesome ones unite, liebechen!"

"Quoi!? It is not pervertedness, it is amour! And Mademoiselle Stark, can I borrow your plane to go to our private fencing island?"

Toni facepalmed. "You'll crash it. Just do it in the garage."

England won. Because. Deal with it.

"Si...pero...not really," Spain said. "I do not fight with him about it as much as I used to, si. But am I still mad about it? Also si."

"NO TOMATOES?! BASTARDOS!"

"Te amo demasiado, Romano~"


	225. Romania 23

"You're going to die now," Toni noted, leaning over the bathroom sink to look in the mirror. "By the way, Preußen, do you think I used enough concealer to keep Peps and Nat from worrying too much?"

"WAS? And ja, you're good."

**Moldova: Yay! For you guys, you need to go to Russia and burn his Sunflowers,  
then stake your flags so he knows who did it. You then have to take whatever  
he throws at you. No fighting back! Also steal Bulgaria's yogurt right out of  
his hands! Toni, you have to tell us everything that happened.  
Romania: Hmm... I want to see how that works. Can you take video for us?**

"I think so," Toni said, examining the makeup. "Pepper and Natasha decided it would be a good idea to visit, but I can take care of it before then."

~Much, much later~

"Well," Toni said. "Heh heh...four broken ribs and three blood transplants later, they're still alive...damn. Russia pegged France right in the ** with his faucet pipe, he won't be reproducing ever again for...forever, actually."

"Mes couilles..."

"Mein poor liebe got his awesome nose broken..."

"Hallo..."

"And Spain will be unable to ** with Romano for a long, long time. That's pretty much it. And I do have video, it's pretty disturbing shit."

The upstairs doorbell rang. Toni ran up to the basement door, shutting and locking it. "Don't come out, guys, Pepper will worry!"


	226. Soarra 18

"Hallo!"

**Guten tag peoplez! I'm so lazy... I haven't posted any dares in quite a while.  
It was only a few days, but still... BTW, I'm Prussian so you guys don't have  
to worry...I think. I'm listening to Fia's Mein Gott and wearing my Iron Cross  
necklace so I'm pretty sure I'm good.  
Toni, I have a theory. I think that when Japan met Italy(Veneziano) Ramen  
noodles were born. What do you think?  
Francey-pants and Spain, you guys have to spend an entire day with 2p England.  
France because he and Iggy are enemies and Spain because... the same thing  
really(Spanish Armada!). BTW, Mein Gott ended.  
PreuBen(I can't figure out how to do that B thingy) and Toni again, can I call  
you guys Big Bruder and Schwester? Pwease?  
Bye!  
Soarra **

"AWESOMELY JA!" Prussia and Toni exclaimed. "That is, as long as we can call you kleinen schwester~" Toni added. "And a major YUSH to the Ramen Noodles."

"MON DIEU! 2P!Angleterre likes me! It's terrifying!"

"It terrifies me too, France," Toni said dryly. "But GO."

"Just type mein awesome name into google translate...that should work~"

"Aww, mein gott ended."

**((Listening to the Prussian version of Einsamkeit, which always makes me depressed. :'( Just thought I'd share that. ~Toni.))**


	227. Illinois and New York 7

"Hey, don't blame us! It's Russian!"

**Illinois- Vodkaaaaaa!  
New York- aaaand shes drunk  
Illinois- mm not drunks mai rellitity jus dfrent then urs mehehe  
New York- riiight. Since Illy's been incapacitated, I'll take over today. You  
guys have to challenge dad to a game a football.  
Illinois- NY, whys ur haaaaair so soooooft.  
New York- Stop touchin me. And just to be clear, you guys are gonna be playing  
AMERICAN football. Yeah, try not to die.  
Illinois- yeeeeheeee, the brdies are talking to meeeeee.  
New York- What the hell was in that vodka... **

"It's Russian," Toni said calmly. "And that explains everything. Oh! Also! Peps and Natasha left a while ago, that's why I'm not being stifled. You know, there is a rhyme and reason why I call Peps my mutti and Nat my tante...AMERICAN FOOTBALL!?" Toni headdesked. "I'm sorry, guys, I have no knowledge of American Football. I hate it. With a passion. I'm down here because Onii-chan decided it would be a good idea to try and teach Thor what American Football is...you know what? Go join them, I don't mind. I can play on the computer. GO FORTH AND WIN."

**((They most certainly did not. ~Toni.))**


	228. Aine and Arata 3

"AH!" Toni said, jumping. "S-Senpai!"

**Dear BTT,  
Aine: Mwahahaha! We're back!  
Arata: With two other peoples.  
10th Doctor: Why the bloody hell are we here?  
11th Doctor: I'd like to find that out as well.  
Aine: Sweetz!  
Arata: Now onto our stuff. XD**

Spain and England: Are you two even AWARE of how many fangirls nosebleed and  
crud over your pirate selves?!  
England: THANK YOU for making Doctor Who! Oh and here's some chocolate chip  
scones!  
Spain: Who do you like more Belgium or Romano? Please say Belgium!  
Prussia: Here's some German beer. :3 We'll be nice to you cuz you sang Mein  
Gott which is an AWESOME song. We'll turn you back into a nation if...you can  
beat Hungary in battle. And she can't using her frying pan.

"DOCTOR, SENPAI!" Toni exclaimed, bowing hurriedly. "OMG OMG DOCTOR WHO!"

"You're very welcome, it is a very good show, isn't it? And I am very much aware...Toni lives here."

"I do not nosebleed over England! I do not nosebleed at all! I'm not a perv, Doctor-Senpai!"

"Ah, si. I love Belgium and Roma equally, just in different ways~"

"Awh," Toni said. "KAWAII! And I'm not spazzy..."

"JA! Beer!"

You can imagine what happened next.

**((Prussia, in all his idiot nature [I shouldn't be so mean, I do this too] got drunk before reading the last part of the email and failed because he was so wasted... T_T idiot. HE RUINED OUR CHANCE TO CONQUER THE WORLD TOGETHER AS PRUSSIANS! And by that, I mean, uh, unify the world, Doctor-Senpai... Really! ~Toni.))**


	229. Aine and Arata 4

"OMG! ENGLAND! YOU HEARD THEM! F**ING DO IT!"

"What?"

**Aine and Arata: One more thing...  
Iggy-...SING PUB & GO AND ABSOLUTELY INVINCIBLE BRITISH GENTLEMAN!  
10th Doctor: I'd like to hear these songs they say are masterpieces.  
11th Docto: As do I.  
Aine and Arata: X3 You heard the Doctors! Do it!**

"England, you heard Doctor-Senpai!"

"Ugh...fine.

"My name is England.  
My official name is The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.  
It will come up in the test later!"

Today it rains, yesterday it rained,  
And I bet my hat tomorrow, it will rain yet again...  
But umbrellas aren't for me, as you can see  
I am British gentleman, gentleman, gentleman~

Pub- Pub- Pub and GO!  
Fish and chips!  
All those that I hate, a curse is sent your way  
Ms. Fairy, Ms. Fairy!  
Aha-ha-ha-haa~  
Here I go again~!

"I'm glad that I met you!  
I mean, that is, I'm being sarcastic!  
A face is floating from that wall over there!  
Hard to Starboard! (Hard to Starboard!)

And then my sorcery is white, black (Whooo~!)  
Tea is obviously better than coffee  
Hot-hot-hot-hot-ho—...!  
First of all, pour the milk ahead"

You'll die if you sit there~  
Busby's chair  
Dragged straight down to hell  
Busby, Busby  
Gather, everyone – Unicorns, Pixies,  
With the Panjandrum, let's go – to battle (to battle)

"Hey you guys, here we go!  
Here we go? Let's go!"

Pub- Pub- Pub and GO!  
Fish and chips!  
If you drink you'll understand~!  
You'll understand if you drink~!  
Ms. Fairy, Ms. Fairy!  
A-ha-ha-ha-haa~  
So I shall proceed~!

Abracadabra~  
"I'm gonna curse you with all my might!"  
Abracadabra~  
"Long live, the Queen!"

Pub- Pub- Pub and GO!  
Fish and chips!  
All those that I hate, a curse is sent your way!  
Ms. Fairy, Ms. Fairy!  
Aha-ha-ha-haa~  
Here I go again~!

(Ab- Ra- Ca- Da- Bra~)  
Idiot (x31)  
America, you idiot~!"

**((He did the English version because I said so. ~Toni.))**

"The seven seas are like my back yard  
Romance and plundering  
I manage holiday houses in India and Hong-Kong  
(Fuu~) Tea is delicious!

I'll keep going in a gentleman-like fashion!  
Being smart is important!  
I'll show you my composure  
From the cradle to the grave!

There are things I believe in!  
Fairies, curses, ghosts, magic  
My sarcasm is in good taste  
Laugh, Laugh, go forward!

By reading the seven stars  
I can predict the tomorrow  
Curry, Chinese cuisine, my holiday houses meals  
Meat pie is delicious!

I shrink away from uncivilized behavior  
Both manners and tradition,  
Wit is good as well  
No pain, no gain!  
Orders are orders!

I believe, that's right!  
In phenomena, Busby's chair, predictions  
Ancient ghost-summoning  
My ultimate weapon, come forth!

[A simple diet is a gentleman's prudence  
If problems arise, use some spices your way!]  
[Don't say it tastes bad! That Roast Beef too is an English Cuisine!]  
[Afternoon tea is the best!  
By the way, putting in condensed milk is military style! ...Isn't that right?]

All's well that ends well! That's right!  
A winning army will not recognize defeat!  
My sarcasm is in good taste  
Laugh, Laugh, go forward!"

"There!" Toni said, still trying hard not to fangirl madly. "There it is..."


	230. Aine and Arata 5

"OMG. NOSEBLEED. SHIT JA."

**Aine: Iggy you rule! X3  
Arata: We're planning a fic about the Hetalia characters being Doctor Who.  
We're also making a trivia show around Doctor Who. :3  
Doctor #10: So you're making fanfiction based off all of us?  
Doctor #11: A trivia show and a fanfic?  
Aine: Yes Doctor-senseis.  
Arata: Look forward to it Toni-san. :3**

All BTT: DRESS UP AS DOCTOR WHO!  
France-8th Doctor  
Spain-10th Doctor  
Prussia-3rd Doctor  
England-...11th Doctor!

Aine and Arata: You're welcome Toni-san! :3 Oh and send us pics of them! 

"OH god, my nose...Doctor Who #11 is the sexiest one in my book."

"Quoi?! Not moi?"

"No. But the tenth Doctor comes in a close second...and OMG. TELL ME WHEN YOU POST IT. I WANT I WANT I WANT."

**((Here ya go- #SpainDoctor, #FranceDoctor, #PrussiaDoctor, #ENGLANDSEXYDOCTOR**

**I love England's file name. ~Toni.))**


	231. Aine and Arata 6

"JA! What did you think I was going to say?"

**Aine: You're officially number one on our list of Best Hetalia and Doctor  
Friends!  
Arata: (nods)  
Aine: By the way, we've been asking around these two questions: Who would win  
in a fight-Avengers or Justice League? (PFFFTTT! THE JUSTICE LEAGUE HAVE  
NOTHING ON THE AVENGERS!) and Doctor Who or Twilight Zone? (DOCTOR WHO FTW  
B***ES!)  
Arata: Most of the people we ask say the opposite answers. -_-  
Aine: England,London,and Toni, this request is mostly for you but this is also  
for the BTT...PLEASE GO TO WAR WITH US AGAINST THE JUSTICE GEEKS AND THE  
TWILIGHT DUMMKOPFS!  
Arata: We must prove the Avengers and Doctor Who is better! **

"Seriously...asking that question? AVENGERS ASSEMBLE, BITCHES! TO WAR! And NO, don't twig out, onii-chan, Cap, we're talking about the fandom!"

"Kesesesese~! Mein awesome girlfriend is an Avenger, so of course!"

"Thanks...I think? AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!"

"Stop yelling that, or you'll fake out Thor," the older Stark yelled down the stairs. Toni shuddered.

"That's never pretty."


	232. Florina of Ilia 13

"All the love~!

**OMG, I'm so glad Toni got better! *hugs Toni* Hope you and your brother get  
closer. :x**

Anyway, let's see if I can think of dares...

Hmmmm...Spain. Go torment Germany, or Italy. I don't know.  
Prussia. Go hack into a TV News station or something, and broadcast all of  
Austria's failures. Make sure you put on a nice suit for the world to see.  
France, I want you to violate Canada, America, and England. Violate as much as  
you can.

Also, Spain and Prussia, what did you do, exactly, in that last dare? Mind  
telling me? Ahaha...

I hope you guys are doing well, later!

"Onhonhonhonhon~! I have already done much violating. But I will do some more~"

"They jumped on my table naked and started singing 'I'm Sexy and I know it', of course," Toni said with a straight face. "The video footage made me nosebleed."

"Kesesesese~! No problem, I can do it! Hyaa!"

~later~

"Check the breaking news on CNN, CSPAN, and PBS," Toni suggested. "He had to ask me for help, of course, but it happened~"


	233. Bururu 36

"Heh...heh.

**Okay, I informed Bururu that Romania wasn't going to hurt her.  
She's still scared out of her mind.  
Just 'cause I'm her state doesn't mean she can ditch me like this!  
So frustrating.  
And she says she was just kidding about you having to go read it, Prussia  
really does get to laugh in Austria's face after Hungary dumped the  
aristocrat. Read it only if you desire to, she says.  
I wish she would just come out, dammit.  
Sigh. Go burn down Switzerland's house.  
And why haven't I got candy yet?  
Oh, and more Yorkshire tea. We're almost out, and Bururu gets scary without  
tea.  
Very well then. France, go stab England with a sword.  
And Toni, go have sex with France.  
I can be as bad as a fangirl when I want to be.  
Oh! America, can you come visit me sometime? I'm getting quite lonely...**

"OH RECHT!" Toni said, snapping her fingers. "I saw that! I loved Prussia pranking Russia btw...WAITAMINUTE, I just remembered...my onii-chan went to college in Massachusetts! M.I.T!"

"Burn...down...Switzerland's...house? Noooon! Je vais a mourir!"

"Goo," Toni said. "I get no mercy, you get no mercy. Now go. AND I WILL NOT! NEVAH! I think I might actually bottom with France...because I think I would top with Prussia...that's why I mad out pairing name (yes, we have one because we're awesome) StarkSchmidt. Unlike my onii-chan, who gets Pepperony AND Stony, where he bottoms on both." Toni shuddered. "Ew...Cap as seme. Anyway. NO. France, do not stab England too badly, but my virginity is promised to Prussia and that is the end of it. NO MORE SEX DARES, FOR GOD'S SAKE."


	234. Romania 24

**((Admin is trying not to die over the doctors in the last three chapters! The  
tenth doctor is my ultimate have, but then again Toni knows that already))**

Looking sharp England. Moldova went home, so it's just little old me again.  
Sad day. Oh well. My dare for Prussia is to answer my phone for me and talk to  
Bulgaria. Toni you need to tell me their conversation. He's been calling me  
for days and I really don't want to talk to him. France your dare is to think  
dirty thoughts, and put Sriracha rooster sauce on your vital regions on top of  
my curse. Enjoy the pain. Spain, I dare you to make out with Belgium in front  
of Romano and Netherlands, then tell me what happened. You cannot run away  
until you have suffered the consequences.

"Um..." Prussia said, sweatdropping. "Um.

**((Hallo! :D Eleventh FTW in my boot, though. ALWAYS. He was my first! *sweatdrops* God, that sounded so wrong... ~Toni.)) **

"MON DIEU! That stuff is not only spicy in taste if you know what I mean!"

Toni giggled.

"France's pain amuses me~"

~Much, Much later~

"Oh, Spain? Netherlands stabbed him, of course. Romano didn't care, he has pretty good radar for when Spain actually wants to do this shit. But Netherlands stabbed him. Belgium got P.O'ed at Netherlands and they're now having a quarrel. In my living room. And Spain is getting blood on the floor. Also, my cat needs to be fed and I have a headache. Yes, it is a normal day at the Stark-Beilschmidt house."

"Ja...um...he said something along the lines of wanting to apologize for what Hungary and Serbia said, and that they don't speak for him...and stuff...ehe..."

"Recht...?" Toni said confusedly. "Oh well, that's what you get when you ask Prussia to do something."


	235. Bururu 37

"HetaOni?! Was?"

**Bururu: Salut ... Je suis revenu de France.  
MA: Oh, hello there. Finally done being scared out of your mind?  
Bururu: Non... Je suis très peur.  
MA: Will you stop speaking that Frenchie's language?  
Bururu: NON! Que faire si je dois aller se cacher à nouveau?  
MA: Whatever... No more sex dares? Fuck.  
Bururu: Je ne m'attendais pas à vous jure, Massachusetts ... Surprenant.  
MA: I'm a Bostonian. What do you expect? Oh! I know! Since your first must be Prussia, then... go have sex with Prussia then. It wouldn't be breaking your vow then.  
Bururu: Après, avoir des relations sexuelles avec la France, de lui laisser prendre plaisir à vous comme vous supplie de vous toucher, honhon!  
MA: Yes, she scares me very much too... Please. Send. Me. Candy.  
Bururu: Et thé. Oh! Merci beaucoup. Je veux essayer de le mettre à jour rapidement, cependant. Je suis très heureux que vous aimez mon histoire. Prusse est très super cool! Et France et Espagne.  
MA: Yeah, you're gonna give her hell with Google Translate. France, just translate it for us all. And Bururu has visited M.I.T before. She liked it very much. This is how she wants to say it. /in Russian accent/ It is a very good of the schools, da?  
Bururu: Merci!  
MA: Alright then...  
Bururu: À bientôt, mes amis!  
MA: À Bientôt? You couldn't stop crying about that comic for weeks!  
Bururu: Jeanne... /eyes flow up with tears/  
MA: Dear God, she's gonna flood the house. Again. Didn't I have enough plumbers in my house after HetaOni? Oh God, somebody help her... and me... **

Toni began cutting and pasting into Google Translate. "I can see that you're back from France. I'm told being scared is natural, but I think my fear died when I had to go up against Loki without my armor. I don't think you will. Very true. Ew, um, no thanks. Yes. And YES. AND EVEN MORE YES. You know, my onii-chan was only a couple months older than how I look when he went there."

France crawled into his emo corner.

Toni blushed and blood began to flow out of her nose. "Go through? With Gil?"

"Kesesesese~! Well, mädchen, I have no objections!"

The blood flow increased.

~Much, Much later~

"Having given us the pairing name StarkSchmidt, I can most certainly confirm that I do top..."

"Un-awesome," Prussia muttered.

"But I do."


	236. Bururu 38

"Well...I'm not going to say that this isn't long..."

**Bururu: Wow, this one's coming early.  
MA: Oh my God! You stopped speaking French!  
Bururu: Ja. I did.  
MA: My elections are tiring me out...  
Bururu: Oh ouiah! It was election time, wasn't it? Who was going up against who?  
MA: Well, there's the election for Senate, which would be Elizabeth Warren vs. Scott Brown. Then there are the presidential elections too... /sigh/ Then I bet you there's going to be so many laws to vote on as well.  
Bururu: What?  
MA: I almost miss the old days... so simple... there was just a Constitution to follow by and that's it. Simple. Everything changed so quickly...  
Bururu: I've got a gift for you!  
MA: Really?  
Bururu: Oui! Toni, I dare you to make a time machine and send everybody, including Massachusetts, back to post-Revolution America! (Like right after the American Revolution.)  
England, don't you start crying on me! You're going too! And I'm still pissed at you for burning D.C you twat!  
MA: That was years ago... you should not hold such grudges-  
Bururu: coughcough Boston Massacre cough cough  
MA: Come on and suck it up Arthur, you pansy. You're coming with us and I don't care if I have to drag you with us, you will come Britain and you will feel the pain-  
Bururu: Okay that's enough, Massachusetts! You can get scary sometimes... why don't you just flush tea down the toilet or something?  
MA: Hmmph. But seriously, send everyone back to post-Revolution America for awhile. And me. I miss the old days.  
Bururu: Oui. I'll be staying here, but Massachusetts would really appreciate it... s'il vous plait. Bitte. Por favor.  
-Bururu  
-The Commonwealth of Massachusetts  
B: Must your signature be so long?  
MA: You're just making it longer.  
B: Oh. I'll shut up now. **

"Have you read the Manga?" Toni asked. "Because-" she paused, looking left to right, then spotting England. "England! Out! You are not allowed to hear what I'm about to say because then Norge and Romania would probably kill me!"

"What? I was just standing here!"

"ENGLAND. GOO. NOW."

England left, and Toni continued. "-he does a lot worse than cry. If he had heard what you said, he would have started coughing blood until he passed out. COUGHING. BLOOD. And that's why Norway and Romania would have murdered me for. He might die if I tried to send him back in time."

She thought for a bit, then smirked. "I think a time machine is a bit out of my awesome capacity, not many things are. But I do know someone who has one. Expect a 1950's Police Box in your living room soon. And an awesome British guy that isn't England. He's a bit ADHD, but maybe you'll meet some awesome aliens or something! I'll send them over."


	237. Romania 25

"Hm..I- oh, no wait, I need to synthesize that or get it from my onii-chan. Give me a minute here..."

***Still avoiding Bulgaria and humming his national anthem* Prussia isn't good at explaining but that's ok. Because I took the battery out of my phone to make sure Bulgaria doesn't get into contact with me. *Stubborn as hell* Ok, France I have a fun one for you. *removes curse* You must have sex with Hungary and by the peer of the dares she is not allowed to resist you or run away. She must go along with it. Take that Hungary, kekekekeke. Prussia, I dare you to throw your phone in the blender with ice cream of your favorite flavor and make a milkshake. Then drink it. Gilbird has to drink it too.**

*Pulls Spain off to the side so no one else can hear* Ok, your dare is find something that makes you upset happening around the house and pretend is bringing down into a slow decline into insanity. Everyone has to believe you though, otherwise you will to give me a blood donation. And you can't tell them it was a dare or even hint at it. K? Good. *Pats Spain on the shoulder then goes back to Norway and England.

Toni, England Norway and I are going shopping for potion ingredients and groceries. Do you need anything? 

Toni groaned. "THAT is the new model of STARKPHONE!" she said, doing an impersonation of Effie Trinket from The Hunger Games.

**((THAT is MAHOGANY! :D ~Toni.))**

"Onhonhonhon~!"

"Go for it," Toni deadpanned. France ran off like a bat out of hell.

"This is so un-awesomely disgusting!"

"WHAT!? You blended the top of the line, brand fucking new StarkPhone I got you!?"

"No. I blended the old one."

"Your old phone was a Nokia..."

"So?"

"Didn't you know about Nokias? They're like, indestructible! PRUSSIA! YOUR AWESOMENESS KILL NOKIAS!"

"Whyyyy...out of tomatoes...whyyy."

"Shut up, Spain. Yes, we do need more tomatoes. Um...Motor oil, eggs, dog food, cat litter, and...what was it...oh, no, wait, you can't buy those in stores. That's it, danke."

"But WHYY! WHY did they have to run out so SOOON!"

"You can survive a few hours without tomatoes, Spain."


	238. Romania 26

"Toniii!"

"WHAT!? I'm typing up a short story for English!"

"You have an email!"

"FINE."

**We're back with the groceries! Oh, why is Spain acting like he's lost his  
mind? *smirking* *Norway is supporting England who is unconscious* Da, don't  
ask about that. We ran into America at the supermarket and let's just say  
things went downhill, and there was much blood coughing... (I didn't do  
anything to stop it, so sue me. I don't want to be on bad terms with Mr.  
America when he's just starting to notice me more.) *chucks Prussia some  
mouthwash.* It was on sale. So France how was Hungary before I put that curse  
back? Toni, your turn for dares! I dare you to prank call China and pretend to  
be Russia. Let everyone listen too. We all want to hear this. **

"Oh...god. England. He needs a blood transfusion. Norge, upstairs lab. Dr. B doesn't ask questions."

Norway nodded and dragged England up the stairs. "There's not a whole lot you can do when that happens..."

"Was?! Mouthwash!? The heck?"

"Onhonhonhon~! Let me just say, her relationship with Autriche was not purely romantique!"

"FRANCE YOU PERV!" Toni yelled, throwing a DVD at France" YOU LEFT YOUR SEX TAPES LYING AROUND AGAIN! Now where's the VIDEO that Natasha was SUPPOSED to have me watch? I bet it's in YOUR collection of these. Now YOU have to go find the important tape." Toni sighed. "Moron."

Here's pretty much what happened. Toni used a voice changer~!

"Ni Hao! China speaking, aru!"

"Become one, da?"

"R-Russia, aru?! Kyaaa!"

China twigged out and hung up. Good thing, too, because that was when Toni burst our laughing.


	239. Bururu 39

"OMG DALEKS!? NO WAY!"

**Merci! Massachusetts is having fun back in time. And the Dalek tried to kill us, so it's back to Australia for me.  
Since Massachusetts isn't here, this can be a shorter one without him to drag me down!  
/parchment drops from sky/  
/hits England on the head/  
England... please pick that up. Read it.  
PARCHMENT:  
I heard that you twat.  
-MA**

Holy scheiße... he really does hear everything.

/second parchment hits England on head/  
PARCHMENT:  
HAHAHAHA!  
THAT'S RIGHT YOU LOBSTER-BACK!  
BY THE SWORD WE SEEK PEACE, BUT PEACE ONLY UNDER LIBERTY!  
IN YOUR FACE, YOU LIMEY BASTARD!

For his own good... don't explain that to England.

/Somewhere in Austria's house/  
PARCHMENT:  
Look up.

/giant Gilbird crushes Austria/  
/then 20 bowling balls/  
/fifty boulders/  
/and a piano/

There. Does that make up for having a long review?

Anyways, the whole "Blonde Trio" confuses me.  
There's one with England, America, and Japan (quoi...? Japon... pourquoi?) and another with Denmark, I think. Then there's one with France, England, and America. (My favorite)  
So... what?

Denmark go jump off a Stark Enterprises skyscraper. You too Japan. In fact, every blonde but France, England, and America go jump off the skyscraper too. (That includes platinum blondes and almost-brunettes too. Make sure that Canada doesn't get to skip.)

FAIRY TAIL IS SO AWESOMELY EPIC.  
PRUSSIA'S AWESOME, SPAMANO IS ADORABLE, FRUK IS SEXY, AND FAIRY TAIL IS EPIC.

So you people must watch Fairy Tail and tell moi what you think! Also, can France turn into a dark, sexy vampire (NON SPARKLES)... just for some time? It's... très... hot... /nosebleeds until there's a large pool of blood surrounding me/  
/faints/ 

"HORY SHEET! You saw a Dalek?! Did it start going 'Exterminate, Exterminate'? Did it recognize the Doctor? Because they don't, anymore."

England started to cough again.

"He's not an idiot...England. Upstairs, now."

England stumbled out, still coughing.

"JA for Austria-crushing! Although, I hope that doesn't cause an actual national crisis, my friend is going to Austria. Le sigh. She doesn't watch Hetalia. She doesn't get it. Warten Sie, was?! I can't have everyone jumping off the buildings! That's too many people to save-OH. JA. IDEA. GUYS. WE'RE GOING BUNGEE JUMPING~! Oh, wait, Japan's not blond though...ANYWAY."

Toni pulled out her laptop. "Hm...I think I saw this mentioned in a Hetalia fanfic, with Japan...interesting, it is. I'M YODA!"

"Onhonhonhon~! Of course, ma belle!"

France ran off.

"I think I would run from that. He's going to try and rape you. But...doesn't he usually?"

"It is not rape if you like it~" France said in a dark voice. Toni jumped.

"I might stake you."


	240. Romania 27

"Supernatural...Ja."

**It was to get the cellphone milkshake taste out of your mouth Gil. I'm trying  
to be nice. *puts the curse back on France* And cue the burn in 3... 2... 1...  
At any rate, how's England doing? Any better? I can't go up to check on him.  
If I get a whiff of that blood I'll be reduced to a blood hungry beast. It's  
not pretty.**

*pets Gilbird and Andru* Hey Toni, I think your kitty likes me. I got to pet  
your kitty and not get torn to shreds.

Spain, you have to keep going now. Just a few more hours. 

"OH! I awesomely get it now! Danke!"

"Oh, he's fine. You should not watch Supernatural, then, they have this realistic blood affect, and they're not afraid to use it~. And the kitty? Ja...sometimes she takes a liking to people without any rhyme or reason. She's a cat."

"Whyyyyyy..."

"SPAIN STOP BEING A WEIRDO."


	241. Qualeisha Marshall 2

"What? Do you mean, like my life story...or-OH! I'll explain that!"

**(Hey writer, who is Toni exactly? I'm asking this aside from the story. I want to get some enjoyment by knowing her more. Is she America's child[man whore], huh?)**

To Lord of Awesomeness(Prussia), I dare you to give up on beer for two whole weeks and drink nothing but water or \ice tea. Also eat...American meals and that doesn't mean fast food either. Go to America for help.

To Lord of Tomatoes and Salsa(Spain), I dare you to listen to first then try to play heavy metal music. Start wearing dark and frightening clothing. Get a tattoo of a skull and something badass. Ooh, also get Harley Davidson motorcycle bike. You are going to be heavy metal biker.

To Lord of Love and Wine(France), I dare you to hang around adult entertainers whether male or female. One thing you must not do is try to cop a feel or engage in activity. You are only to look and NOT touch.

To the Lord of Badassery and Feeling(Prussia, France, & Spain), I dare you all to accomplish all of these thing whether you like it or not(but you will like it). Far as what you do together for a dare, make America and England switch roles. England must eat American food and live his life. America must eat English food and live his life.

DO ALL OF THESE THINGS AND IF NOT THERE IS HELL TO PAY FOR IT *gives them the evilest glare ever*

To Miss Toni, hello.

Adding this to favorites right now *does it* There the deal is done and I shall be back. 

"Oh! That's a joke I make," Toni giggled. "Because I'm a major part American, and many different things from Europe. When you put it together, it makes America look like a whore. British-American, (USUK!) Prussian-American, (PrUS!) French-American (FrUS!) Scottish-American, Irish-American, Croatian-American...the list goes on! Was that confusing?"

"WAS!? Noooooo!"

Spain returned.

"HORY SHEET! SPAIN! You look so...creepy!"

~Much, Much later~

"Did you seriously expect France to hold out? He didn't."

"I. Will. Not."

"Dude! I could NOT eat Iggy's food, it's so tasteless! Ahahahah!"

"I could say the same about yours, git!"

"Ahahah! Duude! You could never fanboy over Captain America like I do!"

"Of course not," England snapped. "You're the only one who can't tell that it hurts her!"

"What are you talking about, Iggy? She's fine, right Toni?"

Toni glared at America. "Get off of me, you bloody git. OF COURSE I'M NOT FINE. Do the damn dare, but England, please..."

"Fine."

"All right."


	242. Soarra 19

"Kleinen schwester!"

**YAYAZ! Big Bruder and Big Schwester! And ja you can call me that. I just came  
back from swim practice after a long day at school. D': It wasn't fun. so I'm  
hoping you guys can make me happy again. ^J^ One of you will probably get a  
competitive swimming-relative dare, though.  
Big Schwester, should I get Spain a tomato? O.O He's kinda freaking me out.  
France, you have to swim laps in a pool until you pass out. Make sure to have  
a lifeguard on duty and give me the number that you do.  
Spain, why you be so freaky?  
Big Bruder... go to Walmart and do things to get you banned or something. Tell  
me what you do.  
Bye!  
Soarra **

"Awesome! Kleinen schwester!"

"Oh, ja. My friend does swim," Toni said. "And ja, I would like that...he's getting creepy..."

"Quoi! Non! The chlorine ruins my hair!"

"GO."

~Much, Much later~

"He got to thirty-two before passing out entirely."

"The awesome me put ** protection in people's carts, then I went in the changing rooms und awesomely said-"

"They don't want the rating of this changed to mature, Preußen," Toni interrupted. "Bye, kleinen schwester!"


	243. Romania 28

"Was-Oh SHIT. Hallo?"

**You're very welcome Prussia. What a cute kitty. *petting her* She likes the  
ribbons on my hat. *Toni's house phone rings and it's Bulgaria looking for  
Romania***

*Whispered in Spain's ear* Spain, grand finale. Make them think you've  
snapped, and snapped big time.

France, I dare you to hang your crotch rose on Russia's flag pole with your  
flag that has a note saying France was here. Then suffer the consequences.

Prussia, I dare you to tell Switzerland you knocked up Lichtenstein then  
suffer the consequences. I also want a run down on everything that happens  
with all of you. 

"Um, hallo...heh heh...no...yes...no, I will not...Um, auf wiedersehn!" Toni hung up quickly. "That was nothing, just the family...this is only an inspection..."

"Was? Ook..."

"I know, Holly's the best neko ever! She's half-Siamese."

"OH DIOS, I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"

"WAS DIE HÖLLE, SPANIEN!?" Toni snapped.

~Much, much later~

"R.I.P, France's vital regions. They were good vital regions and had seen lots of action...until Russia cut them off with a butter knife. R.I.P, German-Swiss relations...they were good...until Prussia fucked it all up. R.I.P, Spain's...complete lack of broken bones...they lost to the suit."


	244. Bururu 40

"Was! Noooooooooooo!"

**Oh mon dieu... I'm listening to Eddie Izzard's "Dress to Kill" San Francisco  
show. (He's a British comedian) SO FUNNY. OH MON DIEU. YOU PEOPLE MUST WATCH  
THIS.**

I saw this "Rick Steve's Europe" episode on Vienna... so cool. So. AWESOME.

I am now an Austria fan.  
Sorry.  
Nein, I don't have to apologize, because Austria's just that awesome!  
I'm not coming back to your side no matter what you say.  
EVERYBODY HAS TO GIVE AUSTRIA A COMPLIMENT.

My maman says that both my Ukrainian and Hungarian ancestors lived in Austria  
(Vienna I believe) for generations. She said my great grandmother was always  
making yummy strudel.  
Sorry, that's where two very major parts of my heritage came from, my friends'  
ancestors were living in Prussia.  
I'm the only one in my group of friends from the OTHER SIDE.

And proud.  
-Bururu  
MA: Where did I go?  
B: Scotland.  
MA: I see. 

"Nooooooooooooooooooooo!" Toni cried dramatically. "Not the piano bastard! AND OH GOD I SOUND LIKE ROMANO!" she paused and glared.

"He plays the piano like a fucking boss. But, I'm better, of course. AND I JUST SOLD MY SOUL TO MOTHER RUSSIA."

(^J^)

"Hmph, he beat the awesome me in a couple wars, but only because he had Hungary."

"El es muy inteligente..."

"He is very artistique, non?"

"You are never allowed to say that in this or any similar context where Austria is directly involved ever again."


	245. Illinois and New York 8

"I know they do...but then I hate football."

**New York-...Lame. You guys suck at football.  
Illinois- SHUT UP! AND TURN THE DAMN LIGHT OFF! IT'S TOO FRICKEN LOUD!  
New York- Aren't hangovers wonderful?  
Illinois- F**KING BASTARD! YOU'RE TOO DAMN LOUD!  
New York- You know what? Your dare for today is to take care of Illy until her  
hangover passes.  
Illinois- I dun... feel too good... uuuugh...  
New York- NOT ON THE RUG!**

"Aw, shitt. Pru, get the Alka-Seltzer."

"IT'S TOO DAMN LOUD!"

"Oh, fuck..."


	246. Florina of Ilia 14

**Another day, another dare to throw out, right?  
Wait. Spain's a heavy metal biker now? o.o OMG.**

Anyway, back to dares.

[Spain's Eyes and Ears]  
Knock Prussia out, and wrap him up with double sided tape. Then stick him  
somewhere he'll feel embarrassed, like somewhere high. Throw tomatoes at him,  
too. Then leave him there until the tape unsticks.

Also, if you aren't a biker from that dare from Qualeisha, you have to be a  
biker for three more days. Start acting like one, as well, and try to play  
LOUD heavy rock music as much as you can, to the point of annoying others! :3  
Heck, if you feel like it, rob others, though you don't have to.

[Toni's Eyes and Ears]  
Trap France and England in a bathroom, tied up by tight ropes. Make sure you  
get rid of ANYTHING that can help free them. Lock the door, too.

Now, tell them that if they want to get out, they need to solve the Riemann  
Hypothesis. Leave them chalk, and a black board or something.

Also, tell them that if they don't complete it within 15 minutes, they have to  
go and eat on each other's food for the rest of the month. (England eats  
French food and vice versa)

Good luck! :D I hope you survive! 

"THIS. Magnificent dare for England and France."

"NON! NON, I WILL NOT SURVIVE!"

"And here's where I'd put a fuck...IF I GAVE ONE!"

~Much, Much later~

"It's just Fish and Chips, France."

"Mon dieu, it is horrible! I will die!"

"Would you rather die of starvation or poisoning, freund?"

"Oui, oui, Prusse, you are right..."

"SPANIEN! GET ME THE FICKEN DOWN!"

"Nope~"


	247. ChocoholicBrunette14

"Awesome! Almost as awesome as Prussia!"

"WAS!"

**Hehehehehehehehe I have now done something very evil with the tattoo pictures!  
Well let's just say that a very very furious Austria will burst through the  
door right about now. If he asks about me, I'm not here. *Hides in panic room*  
I REGRET NOTHING! (In case your wondering who I am, my old pen name was  
BTTfangirl14 and I changed it in honor of Mello from death note) Now for  
dares!  
1. France I dare you to give Roy Mustang's Miniskirt speech from Full Metal  
Alchemist (Look it up on youtube if you need a reference)  
2. And also I want you to watch Roy Mustang's first Geico commercial with a  
straight face (trust me it's hard not to laugh) **

"Oh, that is very awesome!"

"Ja, I remember, I got your notice and didn't know what to do about it. Hai!"

France was grinning at the video.

"Mein gott, France, this has YOU written all over it."

"Does it, ma cherie~?"

"Ja, it does."

~Video #2~

"Mein gott! You're right, it is impossible! I need to now try this on Noru..."

"Try what on me?"

"Nnothing..."


	248. CookieBirdGirl

"Sagen Sie, was Sie jetzt!?"

**CookieBirdGirl: Hey Toni, Prussia, Spain, and France! Before I get to the dares, I would like to say that this is the funniest fanfiction I've ever read. You guys make me laugh every day. EVERY FrUKING DAY!  
Wisconsin: It's true, I find Cookie laughing to herself like an idiot every time I crash at her house.  
Cookie: Shut up! Why are you even at my house anyway?  
WI: Michigan invited me over to watch the football game.  
Cookie: *Glares over at Michigan, who's reading in the corner*  
MI: *Shrugs*  
Cookie: *Sigh* Just go back to watching your dumb Packers and leave me alone.  
WI: Don't you dare insult the Packers! How many times have your football team won the Super Bowl?! Probably never!  
Cookie: Relax cheddar brain. Here's where I'd give a fuck about football, if I gave one! It makes no FrUKing sense…  
WI: But aren't you a football cheerleader?  
Cookie: Yes, but I only know enough about football to last though a cheer game.  
MI: *Looks up from book* You're a cheerleader!  
Cookie: I think we've already confirmed that fact Michy.  
MI: *Still looks confused* But how can you be a cheerleader if you love Naruto and anime and stuff?  
Cookie: *Eye twitches* Just because every FrUKing person on my damn team are stereotypical cheerleaders doesn't mean I'm a make-up obsessed, dumb blond dating a football player!  
WI: True, I've never seen you wear make-up before. *Smirk* Maybe you should start. And aren't you dating that football player named Mike-  
Cookie: WISCONSIN! SHUT THE HELL UP BEFORE I FALCON PUNCH THE TV! *Grabs Wisconsin's cheese head hat and throws it at a nearby fat gray cat* FLUFF BALL! EAT THE CHEESE!  
Fluff Ball: Meh.  
Cookie: Damn you cat! For fucks sake! I'm gonna eat you, cat!  
MI: *Doesn't even bother looking up from her book* Relax Cookie, take a chill pill.  
Cookie: *Steam clouds start puffing out of my head* Well I was going to give the BTT some nice dares, but now that I'm pissed at that damn cheese head, I'll just take my anger out on you guys.  
For Spain: You have to invite Finland, Liechtenstein, and Alaska over to Toni's house for a party. Once they're there, you have to text Sweden, Switzerland, America, and Russia telling them that you kidnapped Finny, Liech, and that bastard Alaska and plan to make them one with you. I think you know what will happen next :D  
MI: *Glances over at the computer screen* Why do you want Spain to die? I though you loved Spamano.  
Cookie: I do, but I'm too pissed to really care. By the way Michy, don't you have a pet wolverine?  
MI: Yeah….but I've kind of been forgetting to feed him after he almost killed Uncle Canada. I think his name's Blue.  
Cookie: Where might he be?  
MI: Ummmm,I think he's in the basement. Why do you want to know?  
Cookie: *Smiles like Russia* No reason~!  
For Prussia: You have to cover your whole body in wurst then give Blue a nice, long bath. Heheheheheheh  
For France: I'm feeling less pissed, so I'll go easier on you. *Hands him my cheerleading uniform* You have to put on my uniform, learn the dirtiest and most seductive cheer ever, then perform it for Iggy.  
WI: *Raises an eyebrow*  
Cookie: Don't look at me like that! I hate FrUK!  
WI: Suuuurrrrreeeee  
Cookie: Damn you Wisconsin! Get the hell out of my house!  
MI: *Cough*  
Cookie: Get the hell out of our house! *Starts grumbling to myself* Now I'm pissed again  
For Toni: You have to give France and Prussia a lap dance wearing only a G-string and a bra. Spain also gets a lap dance, but from Romano in a Speedo instead.  
*Holds out a plate of chocolate chip cookies* If you do all the dares, you get cookies! My mind is very messed up, so I'll be sure to think up some more crazy dares for you guys in the future :)  
Well that's all I got so bye- WISCONSIN! Get the hell out of my fridge! NO! You can't use my milk to make cheese! I need that milk so Michigan won't bitch about not being able to make pancakes!  
Well I guess I have to go buy some more milk now. *starts grumbling again* I don't even like cheese… **

"WHAT THE HOLY HELL!? I HAVE DIGNITY HERE!"

"Onhonhonhonhon~!"

"GET AWAY FROM ME, FRANCE! GO...MOOCH OFF OF SPAIN AND ROMANO OR SOMETHING! ACK!"

Toni ran into her lab like a retreating Italian, locking the door.

"God dammit I have missiles in here! I will not do that, even for cookies! Waitaminute...PRUSSIA GET IN HERE. NO, THIS DOES NOT INVOLVE A LAP DANCE."

Well, Spain died (then came back to life, because he's a nation), Toni shot France **((He tried to rape me! ~Toni)) **and then she spent the rest of the day in her lab with Prussia and a gatling gun.

**((I shall never surrender! WE ARE PRUSSIANS! ~Toni!))**


	249. Romania 29

"Why yes...I think it's genetic."

**Oh, I love siamese cats! They are so pretty! By the way, nice work on the last  
few dares guys. Prussians sure are stubborn. Oh, well. Spain, I dare you to  
find someone who will top France then film it for blackmail. Give the tape to  
Toni for safe-keeping. France I curse you to be Gender swapped for the next  
three chapters! Enjoy that. Prussia, I dare you to give Toni's kitty a bath.  
*huggles her* So cute. England Norway, what spells are we doing today? I  
forgot. Have fun Toni. Don't forget to tell me everything that happens. **

"Si! I know the only person he will EVER let top! Vamos!"

"Quoi!? NON!"

For once, Spain was too powerful.

"Wait, wait...France, you're a girl!"

"I'm all kinds of ok with this~"

"Please stop groping yourself...Spain, you can take her now."

"Fusosososo~"

"Fine. Here goes mein awesome attempt..."

"Good luck. She's a cat, dude. She tries to claw me when I pick her up."

Prussia grabbed Holly (that is the name of the cat, peoples) and raced into the bathroom.

"Good luck," Toni muttered. "Anyway...Norge!"

"What?" Norway asked, looking in and holding part of Denmark's tie. Strangled breathing noises filled the pauses.

"A.) Stop strangling Den-kun for five minutes, and B.) Romania wants to know what your plans were with England or whatever."

Norway let go of Denmark's tie, and gasping filled the air. Toni couldn't help but smirk.

"Well," Norway said, "Last time I checked, communication and luck were on the agenda...I think luck is favorable to England currently..."

"I have Moon, Mars, Mercury, und Saturn in mah favor~" Toni sang. Norway gave her a look, and she blushed.

"What? I like Astrology. Magic is just unexplained science, that's what I say~"

Norway rolled his eyes. "She means, moon and mars are in Scorpio, Mercury and Saturn are in Libra."

"That's what I said~"

"Not everyone speaks Astrology."

"Doesn't everyone~?"

Norway facepalmed.

**((Yes, I like Astrology. Sue me. I dare you. ~Toni.))**

_((By the way, the person who could top France was Romano. Do not believe the lies- Spain is definitely the uke over there. ~the awesome Prussia!))_


	250. ChocoholicBrunette14 2

"W00t!"

**HECK YEAH! NEVER SURRENDER! I love this FanFic. SEE! I TOLD YOU IT WAS  
IMPOSSIBLE! AND MEIN GOTT I DIDN'T REALIZE TILL NOW HOW MUCH FRANCE WAS WRITEN  
ALL OVER THE MINISKIRT SPEECH! HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE! *Austria bursts though my  
door* HOW DID YOU FIND ME?! AND WHAT IN THE NAME OF AWESOME ARE YOU DOING  
HERE?  
Austria: "I came for revenge on the tattoo pictures'  
chocoholic: NOSES! I was hoping you'd never find those!  
Austria: Well I did, now hand them over  
chocoholic: NEVER! YOU WILL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!  
Austria: *With Pipe* We'll see about that  
chocoholic: OH i'm so screwed! Get him out of my house! *Gets 2p America bat*  
I will never surrender!  
OH! And France, I don't want to talk to you no more you french pig dog! I fart  
in your general direction you kiniznits! Your mother was a hamster and your  
father smelled of elder berries! **

"TINY MINISKIRTS!"

"Oh, shieße! AUSTRIA GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Toni threw some salt at him. "I also have shotguns."

"Why...did you just throw salt at me...?"

"On Supernatural that's how you repel demons," **((:3 ~Toni.)) **

"I'm going to murder you," Austria deadpanned.

"I also have silver and all that good stuffs!"

"I'm going to stab you with a butter knife."

"I'm enjoying snapped!Austria here. OMG! Monty Python! Empty headed animal food trough wipers!"


	251. Soarra 20

"Guten tag, kleinen schwester! Und...that does suck. I think."

**Guten tag Big Bruder Big Schwester. Ich bin so sauer jetzt. Meine kleine  
Schwester gerade weigerte sich den Computer ausschalten, obwohl ich es  
ausgeschaltet. You'll just have to translate that. It's most likely wrong  
though. I am so p!ssed...  
Решается! ^J^  
Toni, have you noticed that in Italy's Marukaite Chikyuu he calls himself  
useless? I mean he says 'hetare hetalia'. Hetare means useless and Italy is  
referred to Hetalia in the manga.  
Francy-pants, you have to stand out in the rain in your best clothes so that  
your hair and your clothes will be ruined. And Big Schwester? Make it so that  
it's pool water. ^J^  
Spain, what to do with you?... Go make out with Lovi or something... SPAMANO!  
Big Bruder, did you know that there is such a thing as Germancest? If you  
don't know what that is ask Big Schwester. ^J^  
до свидания  
Soarra**

"Yes, actually I have! I have no idea why, though. Ita-chan is kawaii! Kawaiiety is not useless~!"

"Non! My magnifique hair!"

"Too bad~ Gooo~" **((^J^ ~Toni.))**

"Is this Chlorine water?"

"Ja."

"NOOOON!"

"Weirdo," Toni muttered.

"Siiiii!"

"SPAMANOOO!"

"Was? Oh, eugh, Germancest."

"He knows what Germancest is," Toni said, smirking. "I made sure of it before letting them loose on . He hates it with a passion."

"It's just so...un-awesome and nasty!"

"There it is, I've killed a major part of Germancest."


	252. Angelwriter3895

"...do I look like I attract Russians to you?"

"Was?"

"Well, I mean, my onii-chan's nemesis was Russian, and there's already, like five Russians writing in here, and my BFF is Russian..."

"Ok, I awesomely see what you mean, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"Just this..."

**Alright, i must admit, i am adicted to this fanfiction now. :3 *crashing comes  
from my closet* the fudge? RUSSIA! GTFO of my closet! I WILL paint my walls  
with your intestines yet you dang creeper! ... Anyways... DARES!  
Spain: I am a bit of a fan girl, I admit it! :3 not to be creepy russian or  
anything ya teb lubya! (russian for I love you)  
Russia: You are a fan of me too!  
Me: that is beside the point. This isnt your fanfic! Sapin, have a tomato  
cookie. I dare you to go danceing with Romano. Ballroom, or anything of your  
choosing.  
Prussia, you are awesome! Go steal germany's wurst. :D (go innuendos!) Share  
them with Tonia! Sharing is CARING!  
France: ... go become one with russia or something. Better yet, become one  
then go tell belarus what you did. I wonder how many cuts you will end up  
with.  
England: Gives me some scones! Please! :3 blueberry would be awesome! BUT you  
must admit that sealand IS a country. on camera. for the entire WORLD to see.**

Russia: You are cruel I like it! Da!  
Me *grabs duct tape* TA!  
Russia runs for his life  
France, he is all yours once i finish tieing him up! So he can become one with  
you. :3 *gives everyone a cookie 

"Aw, chica! Te amo demasiado~! Y gracias~!"

"Tomato bastard, you had better not choose ballroom dancing or-"

"Loviiii~"

Spain dragged Romano out the door, smiling.

"Ugh, un-awesome Germancest innuendos. But I will!"

"I will help him, but I AM ALLERGIC TO MEAT, GUYS. DEATHLY ALLERGIC. I WILL DIE."

"Scones are fine, love, I have tons of them, but that little island is NOT a country."

"So England," Toni said teasingly, leaning forward. "Is it because he reminds you of, hm, I don't know...America~?"

**((Yes. It is. No matter what Iggy-land says to the contrary. ~Toni.))**

England flushed. "No."

"Yes it is~"

"It isn't."

"It. Is. So. I can tell, because I am awesome."

"It. Is. Not."

"Suuure~"

~Meanwhile, France is becoming one and getting murdered by Belarus. Prussia is also getting shot by Germany.~

"Guys, I think even Dr. B is starting to ask questions as to how you are getting injured..."

"It's not our fault!"


	253. CookieBirdGirl 2

"Oh man...ICH. HASSE. DICH. Random un-awesome reviewer. The awesome me would never-"

"What?"

"Oh, nothing Toni..."

**CookieBirdGirl: Hola again! Guess what I found out today?!  
Wisconsin: You've finally lost your mind!  
Cookie: *Glares at my most hated midwestern state* No. I was looking through my family's old cookbook and it turns out my family was originally from East Germany! I'm an awesome Prussian! YAAAAAY! I would also like to say thanks for doing my dares!  
Michigan: Even though you did end up killing Spain.  
Cookie: I REGRET NOTHING! *takes a sip of an energy drink* Let's see what my caffeine crazed, partially insane brain can think of!  
WI: *Mutters* More like completely insane….  
Cookie: *Grabs one of Michigan's hockey sticks* DAMN YOU CHEESE FOR BRAINS! *Beats him with the stick until he passes out* Now where was I…  
MI: About to clean the blood off the rug *sigh* AGAIN.  
Cookie: I'll do that later, but first DARE TIME!  
For Spain: Sorry again for killing you. To make it up you get to play battleship with Iggy, and you both have to be in your pirate outfits.  
For Toni: Why didn't you do my dare? I though Prussia would love it. Heheheh  
(For BTT eyes and ears only!)  
You have to brainwash Austria into thinking he's madly in love with Toni.  
(Toni can read now)  
You're dare is to spent the day with Austria. That's it. Nothing dangerous, nothing deadly. Just a nice day with Austria :)  
MI: You really are missed up.  
Cookie: *Sticks out tongue* Why am I the messed up one. YOU'RE the one who had a starved wolverine in the FrUKing basement.  
MI: Touché my friend.  
Cookie: For France and Prussia: You have to song "I Just Had Sex" on Switzerland's lawn in the nude. You aren't allowed to leave his property until you finish the song  
MI: *Listens to the song on Cookie's iPod***

0.o

Mon Dieu! That should be Uncle France's theme song…  
Cookie: I know right! The music video is hilarious!  
WI: *Rubbing his bleeding head* So I was right, you are messed up in the mind.  
Cookie: BEGONE SATAN! *Literally kicks Wisconsin out of the house* I hate that bastard *locks door*  
MI: *Rolls eyes* I never would have guessed that.  
Cookie: Shut up. If you guys have any extra time, could you also break all of Wisconsin's bones! Thanks!  
MI: *Backs away slowly* No more caffeine for you *Reaches out to grab the energy drink in Cookie's hand*  
Cookie: NEIN! *Runs away like an Italian while chugging the rest of the can*  
MI: Wait! Come back! Who's going to clean up all this blood!  
WI: *Takes a sip of buttermilk* That would be you, dear sister of mine.  
MI: *Grabs a mop* How'd you get back inside this time?  
WI: *Shrugs* Window.  
MI: *Grumbles something about having to buy a new rug* Some advice if you value your life; stay away from Cookie until the caffeine wears off.  
WI: Good point *Sip*  
Cookie: *Jumps out of nowhere with a Russia smile and a knife* Back so soon Wisconsin~. Let's play a game, ja~!  
WI: *Almost chokes on the buttermilk, pushes past Michigan and takes off running* EVERY MAN FOR THEMSELVES!  
Cookie: *Chases after him*  
MI: *Sigh* How am I still sane? 

"Same way I keep my sanity, MI~ By having none~"

"JA! Welcome to being AWESOME!"

Toni blushed. "Not in front of France. Never. Starks do have dignity, you know. My brother has elected to give his repeated flesh wounds. I would rather not go down that road."

"Mein gott, Toni, please don't kill me..."

"Was? Was ist los, Preußen?"

"Nichts..."

"Wo sind Frankreich und Spanien?" Toni asked, looking around.

"Getting Österreich for your dare..."

"FFF-"

~Much, Much later~

"...what did you do to Austria?"

"What tante Natasha would do," Toni responded calmly.

"And that would be...?"

"I knocked him out, duct taped his mouth, and handcuffed him to one of the vintage cars. Both hands are currently bound to an old Bugatti. And I told him I'd kill him personally if he broke it."

"You scare me sometimes..."

"Only because it's Austria, Prussia dear."


	254. xXASilverCoinlololXx 9

"Yes. Yes it does."

**Oh.**

So the anon review did show up.

It said it wasn't working! .D. But it's okay.

Oh, good. Sleeping like Greece always helps. ALWAYS.  
Are you feeling really okay now? Need to know for the next dare :c -hugs- Well  
dearie, you just go watch AMV's and bloopers with some hot cocoa. And get some  
sleep!

Oh. And hi, guys.

"Thanks Silver...I'm feeling a lot better, thanks. I spent all day sleeping, and talking to my onii-chan or playing on the computer in between. I'm up and running again, except I'm still mad that FRANCE was the one who had to pull out my reactor." Toni glared at France. "But I don't think I'll kill him...yet."

**((^J^ ~Toni.)) **

"Hallo."

"Bonjour!"

"Hola!"


	255. Romania 30

"Oh! It's just a nickname...I think..."

**O.O Tonia, keep anything silver away from me! I'm still working on building up my immunity to the stuff! *Hides behind Norway* Um, in case you didn't understand, vampires can gain immunity to their weaknesses. For example, I'm able to walk in the sun because I spent alot of time outside when I was younger and still do. I'm immune to garlic because alot of Romanian food has garlic in eat and I eat it nearly every day. I'm immune to crosses and holy water because I actually practice a religion. Now I'm working on silver by replacing my gold earring to silver. *Brushes his hair aside to reveal the silver stud holding a blood jewel that seems to be burning the flesh around it* It's painful, but necessary if I want to live a normal life.**

But I digress, dare time! Prussia, I brought over all 127 of my pet bats. You need to pet sit them all. They like to be hand fed mealworms at least twice a day and all need individual attention, and I'll know if you forgot any of them. each of them has their own name too. Here's the list, they come when called, except for Codrin. You need to call for him a few times.

France, seeing as that curse was a bit too much fun for you I'm taking a page from Britain's book. I curse you so that now you are the ugliest one here! Oh, and it only wears off when I choose to remove it. *France looks in a mirror and the mirror cracks because he was so hideous* Ew, you look disgusting even by my standards.

Spain, I dare you to do some sexy Spanish dancing for Romano dressed in your matador outfit. (If you're wondering why I chose that it's because Romano thinks your butt looks sexy in it.)

Toni, please give me a rundown on how well everyone does. Especially Prussia! I expect my bats to be well taken of or somebody is going to die! *Gives Toni some Tocana de cartofi romaneasca* I had some left over from my own ask and thought I'd share. Don't worry, it's completely vegetarian. It's basically a potato stew. It's pretty much potatoes onions peppers and tomato juice. (It's better than it sounds) 

"Oh man, Prussia, you DEFINITELY got the short straw this time," Toni said, laughing.

"MON DIEU!"

"Fusosososo~! Of course~!"

"There's no cameras in the bedrooms, Spain~" **((I LIED. ~Toni.)) **"Oooh. Yay. Sounds delicious. Mmn."

~Later~

"Well, judging by the sounds from upstairs, Spain got what he wanted...Prussia is being suffocated...and England is laughing at France. Yep, so in other words, it's normal."


	256. Bururu 41

"FFF-I haven't changed my core ALL DAY, and now I have to go save Massachusetts? ...only because my brother went to college there," Toni complained. "You know, I could DIE if I don't change these things."

**/gasps in horror at chapter 253/  
Why must you do this to lovely Austria!  
MA: He's not that lovely...  
B: Here, I think I have a problem in my piano. Can you just lean into it to check it out?  
MA: Sure. /leans in/  
B: That's it, get your upper torso in... your arms midway, and... /smashes piano lid on MA/  
MA: /screams/ America! England! Italy! Help meeee! She's certifiable!  
B: I AM NOT INSANE! MY PSYCHOLOGIST TOLD ME SO! /brings up lid then smashes it down again on MA/  
MA: AAUGH! You and your stupid Austria!  
B: /smashes down lid again and is screaming at MA/ DON'T YOU INSULT HIM YOU DAMN BOSTONIAN!  
MA: Aughh! THAT'S IT, THAT'S YOUR DARE! SAVE ME!  
B: And Prueßen and Austria! Go have an orgy with Hungary. /smashes lid down once more/  
MA: OHMYGOD! HELP! I'M GOING THROUGH ELECTIONS, YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I'M ALREADY TIRED OUT!  
B: Then you won't feel this. /flips MA over so that his stomach is facing upwards/ /smashes down piano lid once more/  
MA: /screams/  
B: lalalalalala... /is singing merrily/ Oh oui, Tonia,would you like to try some strudel my maman is going to help me bake?  
Also, are you sure that your burning hatred for Austria is because you actually love his character? As in, you use him as the antagonistic figure so much, but you've actually grown to liking him when putting him in that perspective? Alright then. /adjusts MA so that his crotch is right under the piano lid/  
MA: N-n-n-no! PLEASE! OH MY GOD! SOMEBODY HELP!  
B: /smashes lid down/ **

"Shitting- I can't believe you people hate me so much as to start killing nations when I haven't had time all day to put new batteries in. I RUN ON BATTERIES. YES. I RUN ON BATTERIES! I know you find this surprising and revolutionary, but STARKS NEED BATTERIES!"

"Stop bitching about the batteries and go save MA!"

"Oh, shut it. And sure. AND. I. HATE. AUSTRIA. End of subject. ...maybe I do like him as antagonist. BUT NOT IN THAT WAY, PERVS. My vital regions are Prussian territory!"

"WAS!? Ew. I may be Bad Touch Trio, but having sex with the un-awesome people is off-limits."

"Ugh...I have to go save MA..."

"Then go, and get it over with."

"Fine. I fucking will."

Prussia whispered behind his hand so Toni couldn't hear, "She's been staying up late working on un-awesome Geometry..."


	257. Angelwriter3895 2

"Ah, nah, it's fine. I do eat soy, though~"

**Why teh hecklers do I keep forgetting about your meat allergies? -face palms- anyways! I do believe it is time for dares! -mwahahahahahahahahaha!) first on te list! Have some vegi wurst:) (only Prussia reAd this) wake France up by dumping ice cOld water all over him, and if you're clever do it from OUT of the room. Dont wan him punching you yet. Hehe! (only France read this) take a nap! Anytime and anywhere! You deserve it after the harsh dare last time. (Spain read only) watch both France and Prussia closly! Very closely. **

"I. Love. This. You random evil genius."

"Was?"

Toni read Prussia's dare out loud to him. Prussia grinned and exited.

"Hey, France!"

"Oui?"

Toni read France his dare, then told Spain what to do.

Oh yes, it was probably as funny as you think it was. France never stood a chance, Prussia was out of there before you could say, "AWESOME!"

Meanwhile, Toni was sitting in the CCTV room, eating vegetarian wurst and spewing out milkshake laughing.


	258. Soarra 21

"Hallo, kleinen schwester! Oh, ja, I did! Entschuldigung!"

**Big Schwester, I think you missed me when you listed all the russians you know. I think. Wa Wa World Ondo's female version sounds so weird. XD Random statement is weird. Kawiiety? Nice.  
Dares!  
France, how long did you spend on your hair after that chlorine shower? I'm curious.I bet... more than 2 hours. Also, are you still a girl? You sound really weird as a girl.  
Spain, what do you think would happen if you had gotten Italy and Austria had taken Romano?  
Big Bruder, when you were over there, did Russia ever throw you in his basement/prison? And if he did, did you write your diary entries on the walls or something?  
Big Schwester, what do you think of the fact that he keeps a diary?  
BYE!  
Soarra **

"Oh, ja, it does. And kawaiiety is a word, because the awesome me says so!"

"Mon dieu, I have no idea."

"It was four hours," Toni deadpanned. "Four. Whole. Hours."

"Hm~? No se. I would probably not be dating Roma, for sure. I did not know how adorable little Lovi could be (in his own way) and never would have if Austria hadn't given him to me."

"PRUSSIA DON'T READ IT ASDFGHJKL!" Toni tackled Prussia before he could read it. "He'll have a mental breakdown if he does. Imagine a frozen computer, that will not respond to anything. Now apply that to him. It's terrifying. Not even beer and wurst can reboot him. IT'S FREAKING SCARY. But from what I've heard...yes. To both, danke. And I don't mind~ It's actually kind of cute~"

"The awesome me is not cute!"

"No...you're MANRY."


	259. Aine and Arata 7

"My NOSE...asdfghjkl..."

**Dear BTT,Toni,and Iggy,  
Aine: Yo!  
Arata: We're back!  
Aine: With...  
All 11 Doctors: Us!  
Aine: We used TARDIS to get them all. :3  
Arata: By the way, here's to satisfy our hunger of seeing the BTT *coughMostlyFrancecough* suffer. :D**

France-Get locked in a room with a gay guy.  
Spain and England-...GO BACK TO YOUR SMEXY PIRATE SELVES!  
England-Go to punk self afterwards for Toni. :3  
Prussia-Renact the Austrian War of Succession then we'll give you another chance at...

11th Doctor: World Domination?  
Aine: 0_0 Doctor-sensei is psychic!  
The Previous 10 Doctors: Which one?!  
11th Doctor: She means me you bloody idiots! And it better not be World Domination Aine!  
Aine: I mean! If Prussia can...beat Hungary in a frying pan battle. :) WHILE drunk on German beer.  
Arata: Oh crack...  
Aine: By the way, the Doctors chose their successor to be the 12th Doctor...IT'S IGGY! X3 We look forward to your adventures as the 12th Doctor Arthur Kirkland aka United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland or England! XD

-Dr. Aine and Dr. Arata 

"OMG DOCTOR WHOS," Toni stated, promptly entering fangirl mode. "ASDF OMG. Eleven you are...awesome...senpai!"

"Onhonhonhon~!"

"..he's Pansexual. ASDF PUNK!IGGY!" Toni immediately passed out from too much good news.

"Si, we will do that after she wakes up."

"Talk like a pirate day, Spain~! Avast!"

Prussia looked around. "What was that sound?"

"All the fangirls fainting from blood loss," a miraculously alive Toni responded. "DOCTOR. ENGLAND. OMG." she passed out again.

Bohemian Rhapsody started playing in the background.

(Is this the real life?

I this just fantasy?)


	260. ChocoholicBrunette14 3

"There's a miniskirt army?"

**Oh I love the craziness! I just watched Ed short rants! SO FUNNY! I CAN'T BREATHE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OMG I'M DIEING! you need to watch it! would you guys like to join the miniskirt army with me?  
here are my dares and questions  
1. France: Slap Switzerland like a boss  
2. Austria, Your. . *uses soul reaper spell* HADO 124! I have no idea what that does, but he's not dead. Just severely injured for a few weeks or more (Bleach reference on the hado)  
BYE! **

"I will...OMG. I showed my otaku friends the Geico commercial one, and I think my one friend died. Was ist das miniskirt army? Sounds interesting."

"Onhonhonhonhon~!"

"Weirdo. Slap Switzerland like a boss."

"MON DIEU!"

~Much later~

"Thank you for taking car of this wild Austria for us! We put it on the porch and I think Hungary is coming for it soon. And France currently resembles the cheese from the country that shot him, hahah~"


	261. Florina of Ilia 15

"I just. Asdf hate. DO NOT WANT."

**Well, I am back once again! I got a nice dare for you guys. Ehehe, lately, I've been sleeping late, and not eating lunch. So tired. :( School gives too much homework.**

Anyway, the BTT'S dare. It's a little scavenger hunt. Simple, right?

Wrong.

The things you guys will need to find are: Russia's Pipe, Switzerland's favourite Gun, and Iceland's Puffin.

Toni get's to choose who has to find what and whoever retrieves their item and lives first, will have the other two members of the BTT worship the winner as a god for the rest of the week, doing whatever the winner commands! However, the last person to bring back their item has to spend 3 days with Russia, locked in a cell. Yeah, that's right. :)

Of course, Toni cannot help the BTT in retrieving their item. Nope, she has to go on a date with Denmark instead! :D *hugs Denmark and pushes him to her somewhat forcefully*

Have fun! Oh, and make sure you come back alive! :o 

"You're going to die. I'm going to die. The apocalypse will come and kill us all."

"Hello~"

"I think I might call Norge..."

"Nooo! Don't do that!"

"Whatever. Prussia can get the puffin, because he's too awesome to die. France can get the pipe, because he's my least favorite. Spain, that leaves you with the gun."

"C'mon~"

"Get back quickly, before I kill him," Toni deadpanned. "There's a 75% chance I'm serious."

~Later~

"DANK SIE GOTT, you're alive."

"Hallo~ Of course the awesome me won~"

"What did you do to poor Aisu-kun? He is my bro."

"I didn't need to do anything. He wanted the puffin gone for a few hours."

"Brilliant."

"Hola~"

"What did you DO?!"

"Not much, it is a secret, si?"

O_O...

Well, France is bleeding out in my subbasement now.


	262. Qualeisha Marshall 3

"Pfft! Kse."

**Prussia, I dare you to smoke some weed then walk around like you are in a dream world speaking calm gibberish.**

Spain, I dare you to go around flashing women.

France, I dare you to dye your hair black and wear brown contacts. Also make your hair short and wild. Try hitting on women afterwards.

Good luck ladies! 

"Ladies?" Toni asked, giggling.

Prussia glared at her, and she tried to stifle her laughs.

"Weed. Seriously?"

"I think that's legal here, ja?"

"..."

"I don't want to take the chance, though...hm."

"QUOI! NOT THE HAIR!"

~Much, much later~

"Spain got arrested. Prussia is hiding in the closet. France is trying to wash the dye out and figuring out how to grow his hair back. Danke, internet. You broke my Bad Touch Trio."


	263. Bururu 42

"NO. I will NOT."

**Ack! France! /goes to save him/  
Fruk... the bleeding is terribly massive...  
MA: /leans over B's shoulder/ Hmm... By the looks of it... he's bleeding mainly from a hole made in his stomach by being impaled.  
B: Nooon! Don't worry France! /bandages him up/ /starts cleaning the blood off him/ /notices the blood reaches down to his rose-area/  
Urrmm... Under regular circumstances I would think this is awesome but... I have to get to school... Here... Toni, you take care of him. As in, wipe off the blood from his crotch. It runs under his pants too. Merci!  
France... he has to be conscious. No knocking him out or anything!  
MA: And France, make sure to do some fun stuff, if you know what I mean.  
B: You can be scarier than me sometimes.  
MA: I know. Hey, Toni! If you had a choice between sex with Spain or Francd, who would it be?  
MA: Wo yao tang...  
B: nobody cares.  
MA: /sobs/ **

"I refuse to wipe the blood off of France's crotch rose. NO."

"Won't Doctor B-"

"He doesn't do that anymore, thanks to THE REVIEWERS! And their VIOLENT WAYS!"

"I see..."

"I refuse. I will NOT get that image OUT OF MY HEAD! And that is why... *cough* Theanswer'sSpain *cough* I will NOT!"

"Pourquoi..."

"NO. Go get some blood packets and pour that shit back into you, for all I care, the reviewer can do it. I won't."


	264. Soarra 22

"No. He didn't. AS the previous chapter demonstrates, he got impaled."

**Hallo everyone. *yawns* Gah... I'm probably not going to think of anything good, but oh well.  
Dares!  
Francey-pants, O.O. You stole Mr. Pipe? He loves that thing so much he gave it a NAME. How are you still alive?  
Spain, do you think Swiss cheese is good? You better cuase that's what you are right now. XD  
Big Bruder... can I have Mr. Puffin? *cue deadly puppy eyes*  
Big Schwester...HALLO!  
Why do I feel like my things are getting shorter and shorter? -.-" **

"Ah, si...I replaced it with a replica...Switzerland will never notice until I return it."

"Ah, sorry kleinen schwester! Iceland took him back after he tried to eat Toni's cat!"

"Fucking puffin...hallo, kleinen schwester! It's because they are, ja!? Derp!"


	265. Aine and Arata 8

"OMG MOAR DOCTOR WHO!" :3

**Aine: Hahahaha!  
Arata: Yes!  
Aine: Let's continue our storm of asking and daring! :3  
11th Doctor: They better not be too bad.  
Aine and Arata: :3 (innocently) Yes Sensei.**

Prussia: IF you could go back in time, what mistake would you fix first? Then get drunk on beer and drive singing Highway to Hell :D  
Spain: You're so hot! Errr...srri. Moving on. Spain, you said you love Romano and Belgium equally but in different ways. What do you mean different ways? What are the ways? And kiss Belgium. Not on the cheek! The lips! Then kiss Romano on the cheek and see his reaction.  
France: We don't like you so we saved the worst for last. You must go into a cage of lions and tigers wearing raw meat all over you for 3 hrs.  
BTT and Iggy: Who is the biggest girl magnet out of all you three? Toni will answer as well.  
Toni: Would you like use TARDIS with us and go to Gallifrey? :3

11th Doctor: Who said you could use TARDIS?!  
Aine: (puppy eyes) Please sensei?  
Arata: (points to Aine's eyes) You KNOW you xan't resist these...  
11th Doctor: F-fine. Under MY supervision. You two are still learning whereas Mr. Kirkland already has experience.  
Aine: Yes Sensei. By the way, Toni's going with us.  
11th Doctor: That's fine.  
Aine: Yay! You can go with us Toni. :3 I saw all of you guys' futures! It was EPIC!  
Arata: Anyways, we will continue our training because (points to titles at the bottom) of that. So...  
Both: Bye for now! (leave with 11th Doctor)

-Dr. Aine, the soon to be 14th Doctor and Dr. Arata, the soon to be 13th Doctor 

"Hm, I'd say I would stop the you-know-what of mein awesome country," Prussia said thoughtfully. "But this one did a paper on how that led to the fall of the USSR, so probably not. I think I'd win the war of Austrian Secession."

~Much, Much later~

"I'm on THA HIGHWAY TEH HELL!"

~back in the past~

"Oh! Si! Belgio es mi niña, mi hermana! Roma es me amor!"

"What have I said about these fans and their RUSSIAN dares?!"

"I don't care."

"OMG, JA! Of course! And I'm glad my future is epic! Does it involve taking over the company, cuz I really don't want that...I want onii-chan and Pep-chan to have a kid and give it to them, cuz I don't want it...BUT I RAMBLE. Come pick me up soon, ne?"


	266. Romania 31

"Oh! Um...o...k...

***humming softly mixing potions in your basement* Hi, Toni. I'm hiding here for a while, Bulgaria and Serbia are both still looking for me. I don't want to find either of them so don't tell anyone I'm here. Kk?**

Um, dares... *curses Spain so that he's a little baby* I dare Romano to take care of him until Toni says it's ok for me to turn him back to normal. BTW he has no memories, his mind has been rewound too.

Moving on, Prussia I noticed you did an awful job with my bats and neglected their nap time. So you are now handcuffed to Russia until I say otherwise. Don't screw with me if you don't want my wrath.

France, how does it feel to be unable to look in a mirror without it cracking because you're so hideous?

Oh, and Toni do you have a painkiller? My earring is really hurting me now. It's actually starting to eat away at my flesh now. 

"ASDF. Awesome."

"Fuck you, bastards."

"Love you too, Romano! ...dammit, Prussia."

"Was?! I'm not as neat and organized about shit as West is!"

"Idiot."

"C'est horrible!" France wailed. "Pourquoi!?"

"Oh, hmm, ja. Plenty, actually. Third room on the left hall, cabinet labeled pills, there should be tons in there. We have lots of most things round here..."


	267. ChocoholicBrunette14 4

"Oh, look...you can hear Toni's capillaries ripping."

"HEY!"

***Has major fangirl nosebleed at doctor England* Oh my nose. And you are now an official memeber of the miniskirt army! And by the way, that hado, it left a third degree burn on Austria. I asked one of my friends who loves Bleach. I feel so evil.  
1. Toni, for being so awesome, have some boxes of chocolate pockey  
2. Toni OK about death note, have you watched it or just heard of it? And can you eat chicken?  
3. YAY! France looks like Swiss cheese! It has been done! **

"MMM YAY! Chocolate pocky! And I've just heard of Death Note. My friend keeps telling me to watch it but Geometry kicks my ass every time. I upload these at midnight before going to bed. Enjoy my dedication." Toni nommed on the chocolate pocky. "Ja, enjoy my dedication. You've fucking got it."


	268. Illinois and New York 9

"No. It was not."

**New York: I hope your night was as peaceful as mine.  
Illinois: At least I'm not as violent a drunk as you are.  
New York: Fair. Got a good dare?  
Illinois: Yes, I do. Today, you three have to have a boxing match with Dad, Mexico(Male), and Miss Philippines.  
New York: Really? Pops, Phil, AND Mex? Dudes're gonna die. And France'll probably be maimed.  
Illinois: I'm sure Pere will be fine. I think. It's their fault for not taking proper care of me when I had my hangover  
New York: Good grief. **

"Why ja...they will. RUSSIAN DARES, PEOPLE. Family is getting suspicious."

"NON! My beau face!"

"Oh go suck a- *removed for the sake of the rating*"

"I had no idea you could be so M-Rated, Antonette~!"

"Fuck off."

~Much, much later~

"Next up on 100 ways to die, Hetalia edition...how the BTT died."


	269. Angelwriter3895 3

"Oh...HALLO! And I include Russia fans as Russians. :3"

**:3 Why thank you. I love you too. It is still me, i just don't feel like logging onto my account at the moment. And so you know, i am GERMAN not russian. I just can be evil as if not more evil than russia. I simply choose not to be. :3  
DARE TIME!  
France, one question, You mad? *troll face* Even if you are, which is likely, you must go eat 2p england's cupcakes! :D ROMANOOOOO! Have a tomato, and go video tape this happening! Ti amo romano, my favorite tsunder person!  
(spain, Antonia, and PrussiaOnly!)  
If you think that i had sooome underhand scheme in this, then you are right. i helped him make those cupcakes. They have a hallucinogen in them, not some deadly poison. Spain, you are to act very creepy and go stalker mode on Romano after the drug takes effect on my victim, france's, mind. It will be quick, and by "stalker" i mean Belarus style stalking on steriods ten times worse and please feel free to be 'piratey'. Believe me it will be quick for the drug, and wait till he is done eating! Fast acting is fun. Prussia, you must go all "I HATE YOU TONI!" Thing like you are breaking up with her, just to mess with Francey pant's mind. Furthermore, have some "meat" dear tonia. It isnt actually meat, but don't tell France that. he is to believe that you have been "cured" of your allergy. Anywho! prussia, wear a dress while you are doing this.**

(Romano Only!)  
You are to make sure France eats ALLLLLLL of the bakers dozen of the cupcakes. i don't care HOW full he gets. Sit back and enjoy! :D You must be as far away from spain as possible. Keep an eye out for him, and try to stay away. Good luck! Here are some goth boots for you to where. Nice for nut crushing. Do anything nessesary. :3 no need to be merciful!

(to all)  
HAVE FUN GUYS! 

"Quoi? ...fine."

"Kesesese~!" Toni giggled. "Aw man, this'll be awesome!"

~A few minutes later~

"Romano~ Romanoooooo~"

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME, TOMATO BASTARDO!"

"AAAAGH!:

~in another place~

"Well FUCK YOU TOO!"

"I'm going to go date Norway, bitch!" **((PruWay- My crack OTP. XD ~Toni))**

"Oh HEEEELLL NO."

"Quoi? I can play musical chairs with my teeth..." **((Get the reference, and I fucking love you. ~Toni.))**


	270. Athens

"Hai and welcome!"

**Athena.  
Hello everyone!  
I'm Athena and I represent Athens the capital of Greece!  
Spain:Hola!I have been trying to learn to play the guitar these days!And I listened to your song Le passion something..I think?Could you please sing it again for me please?(Think it as a dare!)  
France:Bonjour,I will tell you this I hate you with all my heart and soul,so I dare you to do this!Go and jump off a cliff until you can't stand up!  
Prussia:Hey there!I would like to ask you something why is your brother being mean to me and Papa Greece these days?I don't like him at all but you are cool! .  
Adio everyone!  
Athena! **

"Ah! La Pasion no se detiene, si? It goes like this!" Spain took a breath.

"Migite ni wa AMOR  
Hidarite ni wa KAANEESHON ya de

Kyou mo gyousan COSECHA PAREEDO  
Miwaku no sekai e BIENVENIDA  
Te o totte wa ni natte mawarun yo chikyuu gou  
SIESTA mo wasurento zekkouchou

ROJA to AMARILLO no ROJIGUALDA  
O tentosan ni kansha shiyo na  
Hetaria!

Kyou mo gyousan COSECHA PAREEDO  
Gakki o narashite kōshin ya!  
Minna de seno de gassō sureba  
Tatta hitotsu no uta kansei sun de  
FURAMENKOGITAA wa ore supein ya de!

"Romano!  
Oyabun no kakko ee toko chanto mi toke ya"

Geijutsu no machi BARCELONA  
MADRID wa kakki ni afure  
Aoi sora to shiroi mura no  
ANDALUCÍA-san oriibu wa sekaiichina n ya de!

LA PASIÓN NO SE DETIENE!  
LA PASIÓN NO SE DETIENE!  
LA PASIÓN NO SE DETIENE! ichi-nin wa min'na no tame ni  
LA PASIÓN NO SE DETIENE! min'na wa ichi-nin no tame ni  
LA PASIÓN NO SE DETIENE! wakiagaru dai kansei  
LA PASIÓN NO SE DETIENE!

"Dekihenkara yatte yaru n to cha ukute nā  
Ichi-nin demo, chanto tateru yō ni shite yan no ga  
Honma no aijō yakarana"

Kyou mo gyousan COSECHA PAREEDO  
MERODI wa bankoku kyōtsū-ya de!  
Itsutsu no tairiku to nanatsu no umi o

Norinorina RITMO de dai ōdan!  
Ashita e tsuzuite ku FIESTA DE SAN FERMÍN

"Otoko no jōnetsu o kaketa matsurina n ya!"  
ROJA to AMARILLO no ROJIGUALDA  
Ashita mo gyōsan waraou na."

"Nice job, bastard," Romano muttered. "The fans like my delicious tomato song better, though."

"I'm liking this. France is my least favorite, too."

"Quoi!? I-"

Toni shoved him out the door. "He can't come back until he has broken something~"

"Was? I think it's something to do with your economy slowly dying a painful death. Europe is like a big family- if one of us dies, we all die as a result. He just wants the best for everyone, ja?"

"Ne! Serious!Prussia!"

"...oh, come on fraulein."


	271. I'm really sorry but bear with me here

**Hei guys, Toni here. **

**Sorry for not updating! Gomen gomen gomenasaaiii! I feel so bad. Let me explain, bitte?  
**

**See, my school has block schedule, which means that I learn in half a year what Other high schools learn in ONE yea. My midterms are coming up, and my final on To Kill a Mockingbird kicked my ass from here to Brandenburg...and my computer broke, and I lost all the files I had for you guys... ;A;  
**

**What I'm trying to say is, I'm putting Ask A Bad Toucher on Hiatus. Not for a long time, don't worry! Just for a few weeks, until the studying goes away. I will be updating Ice Blue Fire (if any of you have read that) but only because I have the chapters pre-typed.  
**

**The BTT understands, and honestly, they need a break. This fic is so popular, guys, bear with me while I live through the testing and I promise you will me allowed to torture them all you want.  
**

**But you didn't hear that from me.  
**

**Also, onii-chan wants me to spend more time with him...  
**

**I can't spend 24 hours a day on FF, and the rate at which you guys were coming in...hot damn.  
**

**Anyway, I love you all my lovely reviewers, and I promise that the minute my midterms finish I will be back with a vengeance. You'll recieve a oneshot on that day as my apologies.  
**

**I want to go on to 300 chapters, maybe even more, stick with me people!  
**

**Also, when I come back I will be doing Soarra's and Washington, D.C's requests as they are the ones that I haven't lost. Just re-send your stuff in. My computer's an asshat, I know. Onii-chan got me a new one, that mended that.  
**

**With Iron Girl hugs and apologies,  
**

**Antonia Marie Stark  
**


	272. BACK AND BADDER THAN EVER!

**Hei guys, Toni here once again. **

**Takk en million for understanding about my midterms...and my laptop. ;A;  
**

**Well, brother fixed it for me and WE ARE BACK. I'll be getting to work on making the BTT complete your requests RIGHT NOW, I promise. We love all our amazing followers, who stuck with us! Life happens.  
**

**Love,  
**

**Toni.  
**


	273. Washington DC

****"Aha...I knew this would happen someday. Sibing feuds, psh. Avenger time."

**Ok, first, to any states reading this...I AM A GIRL! I AM NOT YOUR LITTLE SISTER! I'M THE CAPITOL, I AM OLDER THAN MOST OF YOU! I AM NOT A MINI ALFRED! YOU ARE JUST JEALOUS ALFRED LIKES ME BEST! IF ANY OF YOU WANT TO TAKE MY PLACE, I WILL NOT OBJECT! I WOULD LOVE YOU FOREVER IF YOU DID! Ok, rant , I get a little touchy 'bout that. Anyway hi guys, I kinda burned myself out with that so not much I'm gonna say. First off, Prussia, you must go tell Tony Stark to his face that you are dating his sister, do not show any fear. Spain, I like you dude so I will give you tomatoes from my greenhouse. Not sure if they are as good as yours though, and share with Lovi! France, you must have a staring contest with...Alaska. First one to look away or blink loses. Don't worry I made him take his Schizo and MPD Meds so he might not kill you. Miss Toni, Hawkeye, IronMan and The Hulk are my fave Avengers (in that order), but I would have to say that Wolverine of X-men is my fave hero ever. Anyway gotta go make sure Alfred doesn't give himself nightmares from this movie he's watching. Mr. England, how did you maintain relative sanity? Please tell me?! (Btw, Doctor Who rules.)**

****"I thoughs so, I just decided not to say anything," Toni said, cocking her head. "I could have sworn London said you were a girl, D.C. But, oh well."

She smirked. "Oh, did he. He already did. Damn, was it EPIC."

_~Flashback~_

_"Hey, bruder!" Toni called, stepping out of the elevator.  
_

_"Yo?"  
_

_"Good news, bro!"  
_

_"And?"_

_"I've got a boyfriend~"  
_

_"...where does he live. I need to know the five best ways to give him a slow and painful death in case he hurts you."  
_

_"Stop that, bro!"  
_

_~End flashback~  
_

__"After that, we went on to introductions...ehe, it was quite awkward," she recalled, blushing. "But bro accepts it, and that's all that matters to me."

"TOMATES!"

"Oh, ja. Spain's a bit...hyper? Lordknowswhy."

~Meanwhile~

"..."

"..."

"MON DIEU I GIVE UP LET ME GO!"

~Back at the ranch~

"Really? Aw, tusentakk. Yeah...I love all of them- they ARE my family- but anko is the best, of course! Kese! I haven't met Wolverine, but from what I know, I think that he and anko would get along really well. I'll pass along the love, danke!"

England poked his head in. "Well, I wasn't around a lot, unfortunately. And he wasn't like this as a child...where did I go wrong?"


	274. Michigan 6

****"Oh, ja. I knew that!"

**Alright... I'm back and I can confirm that there is indeed a Spider-Woman. Apparently, one of the Halloween stores near Detroit's house has a few Spider-Woman costumes.**

Prussia... How about giving a new meaning to the word "webbing"?

Spain... Has Mexico ever stood in for you as part of the BTT?

France, can you confirm the rumor about Paris being a werewolf? This is Halloween, after all.

Oh, and England, if you're there, how about seeing if London really is a werewolf, too? The only reason I ask this is because Washington, D.C. is talking about dressing up as a werewolf, and that has me wondering if there's some kinda werewolf craze amongst the World Capitals.

Prussia smirked. "Kesesesese! Well, mein leibe can tell you-"

Toni blushed, clapping her hand over Prussia's mouth. "I- nothing. I can tell you NOTHING. JA?"

"Honhonhonhon~"

"Mexico?" Spain asked thoughtfully. "I've never really thought of it, but I guess. Sort of."

"Oui, well. Londres is the suspected werewolf if there is one at all! But it is certainly not mon Paris!"

"Right, guys, it has been confirmed: LONDON IS NOT A WEREWOLF. It was the newer season of Doctor Who that had her acting strangely."


	275. Soarra 23

**Hallo, schwester, bruder. School sucks doesn't it -_-'. It's been around a month I think. And... I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO WRITE! Though, technically it's typeing. I HAS A PICTURE OF THE BTT ON MY PICTURE. IT IS EPIC!  
Bruder. Pewdiepie. Watch. Now. No laughing.  
Francey-pants, why are you such a pervert?  
Spain, I just read the Spamano(SPAMANOOOOOO!) doujinshi 'Romano and the Armada'. It almost made me cry, so can I have a hug? And can you make Romano give me a hug?  
Auf Wiedersehen!  
Soarra**

"Ja, hallo schwester!" Toni and Prussia chorused. **  
**

"It has been a long time, hasn't it? I'm sorry for neglecting you and my other amazing followers! But...school...andstuff," Toni said. "I am 100% sorry!"

"Kesesese! Any picture of the awesome me is epic, schwester!"

"For the last time, mes amis! It is not perverted- it is amour!" France complained. "Why does everyone ask me that?!"

"Maybe because you're a perv?" Toni asked, dodging a smack from France.

"Que? si! Everyone can have hugs!" Spain cheered, glomping Soarra. "I can't control Roma, but I can try~"

"DON'T YOU DARE, BASTARDO!"


	276. Bururu 43

**Oui, I know school and technology can be a bitch. But where would we be without them? (Pssht, don't ask me, je ne sais pas.)  
I have an inner worrier so I was stressing thinking, "Dammit, _, you've gone and offended somebody again!" Yes, I am always led to believe that I am at fault somehow.  
Don't worry, I'm also applying for four different private high schools, so I'm getting four different interviews, and then I have to take the SSAT, which is like the SAT but with less sections, I believe. There's going to be so much material on it that is from grades above mine! I'm so worried. I don't know how long it'll be until I get to writing new chapters for my own fanfictions either.  
Re-send? Okay... Here goes...**

Oh, fine. I don't have to go to school now anyways. /goes and cleans off the leftover blood and the extra blood that he has now bled out from jumping of off a cliff/  
MA: Your least favorite character is France? Whatever happened to Austria?  
B: Oh ouiah... Since my band of friends is really into Hetalia, we call each other by the country names that we either keep getting on quizzes or what we think suits each other. One of them is super cheerful and nice, so we call her Spain. Then people call me France because I have the dirtiest mind out of all of them, and insist it's just romance. They call my other friend Prussia because she always insists she's awesome. And she likes to sort things out with strength and violence is kinda cool to her. Tough gal. Then the other one is S. Korea, because even though he gets Japan or China on quizzes, the day he acts that polite is the day Prussia stops being awesome. We think he acts like a mix of Romano and S. Korea. (Mostly Romano though- he and Spain are usually not apart.)  
And then I have two Russian guys as friends.  
MA: Hmm... France... go help yourself to amour from Tonia, Prussia, Spain, England, and London.  
B: Me or him?  
MA: Him.  
B: Oh. /leans into MA/ Can I have some amour anyways?  
MA: /throws Bururu into France's bedroom/ /closes door/ Yes. With him.  
B: Quoi... Pourquoi...  
MA: France I dare you to give her amour.  
B: Even though that thought makes me want to squeal like a rabid fangirl... I'd prefer not to lose my virginity by means of rape... Tonia... even though I'm an Austria fan... and probably Austrian... please don't let them do this...  
MA: Well Antonia I hope you know that SHE THINKS AUSTRIA IS WONDERFUL AND SHE ACTUALLY LIKES AUSTRIA BETTER THAN SPAIN! AND THAT'S ALL SHE'S DISCLOSED TO ME SO FAR!  
B: OKAY SO WHAT IF I LIKE AUSTRIA BETTER THAN SPAIN AND ROMANO JUST HELP ME!  
MA: You like Austria better than Spain AND Romano?!  
B: HELP ME! BUT I WILL NOT RENOUNCE WHAT HAS JUST BEEN SAID!

"Ja...like I've said! I'm a thousand times sorry! BUT WE ARE NOT GONE FOREVER, JA?!"

"Onhonhonhonhon~"

"JESUS, NO!" Toni yelped, whacking France in the face. "MONOGAMY FTW!"

"Oh, well. At least I have other people, ma cherie~"

"Jesus- no-"

_The rest of the incident is censored for France. God help me. ~Toni_


	277. Florina of Ilia 16

**Ah, I hear you, and it's alright; go study first. Then I can torture the BTT. *coughitsgoingtobereallybadco ugh***

**Oh, you need us to re-send? No problem.**

**Huh. Why do you not like Denmark? He's awesome! Just not as awesome as Prussia. I guess I'll just keep this short, because I'm dead tired.**

**[Spain and Prussia's Eyes]**

**Spain and Prussia, you guys have to pretend that you guys are ready to rip each other's throats out; pretty much hate each other to the core. Make it believable enough so that other people and nations actually convinced. Yell a lot at each other for the next week or so (Like the next 3-5 chapters? XD). Get ready to throw fists. Oh yeah, as a suggestion, try to come up with a good reason for it, like, I don't know, Prussia hurt Lovi/Romano really bad, though you don't have to follow this idea; make it something more convincing? Oh, make sure you do whatever's necessary to pull it off!**

**[France's Eyes]**

**Oh France. Sometimes, I just got to hate you. Other times, I love you.**

**This is not one of those times. *Points to a decayed net filled with tarantulas over France's head, ready to snap***

**Your dare is to go all Belarus-like with England/Britain. Don't try to chicken out. Hell, you might even enjoy it. I don't count on it, though. And you have to be even MORE crazy than her, at least 10 times more. Like, use voodoo dolls, or plushies, and whatever. Show the affection!**

**Oh, a question; how did America react when you blew up his McDonalds and told him Captain America sucks a while back?**

**By the way, here, Toni. *hands her a Plushie Set of the Bad Touch Trio, as well as Pocky of her favourite flavour and a $500 gift card to a nearby mall***

"Ohyay!" Toni cheered. "CHOCOLATE POCKYY~"

Spain and Prussia exchanged a glance before muttering a quick conversation which neither Toni nor France paid attention to. France, because he was dodging tarantulas. Toni, because she was arachnophobic and hiding in her suit.

"BASTARDO-"

"SCHWEIN-"

"Break it up, ladies!" Toni snorted, throwing Spain effortlessly across the room using her suit. "Jeez!"

~Meanwhile~

"LONDON! CALL THE BOBBIES!"

"Stop being cliche, brother."

"JUST DO IT!"


	278. Illinois and New York 10

**New York: ... pfft**  
** Illinois: Not my fault!**  
** New York: pffft gehehe...**  
** Illinois: N-next dare! So, if you're still alive, I dare you too...**  
** New York: Prank England's ugly arse! **  
** Illinois: Umm, isn't that a bit vague brother dear?**  
** New York: ... Follow the golden rule-Do exactly to him and his house as you would to Austria's.**  
** Illinois- Merde, you really hate England don't you?**  
** New York: With all my heart.**

****"Aw! Dun hate Iggy-land! He makes the best car shows ever~"

"Too much Pocky," Prussia explained to France.

"Hey, where's Spain?"

"That schwein? Why do you care, mädchen?"

"In case you haven't noticed, this is Ask the BAD TOUCH TRIO, of which Spain is and always will be a member," Toni responded sarcastically.

"We get to go see ANGLETERRE~ honhonhon~!" France declared in a creepy tone. "I can show him my collection of his-"

Toni paled. "Nobody wants to hear that, Francey-pants. Curtains before I have to change the rating, danke!"


	279. TheHoneyScream

**Admin: Oh, wow! I'm glad I found this!**

Norway: Of course.

Admin: Er.. Preußen dear, I dare you to kiss Schweiz! (PruSwi fangirl! best crack ever :D) If you wont, I will let Norway send his trolls after you.

Norway: Why me?

Admin: Oh come on. You're my fucking number one! But I could ask Iggy too, if you want.

Norway: ...

Admin: Uhmm.. Francypants, I dare you to eat Iggys cooking. And Spain dear, I dare you to... er.. rub Lovi's curl! Igi, bitte take a video of this and upload it on YT! Thanks.

Schönen Tag noch! Mit Grüßen aus Deutschland!

Norway: Bye.

****Toni stared for a minute, blushing. "Hei..." she finally muttered, embarassed.

"Liebe, what-"

"Go kiss Switzy before I murder you."

Once Prussia had returned with minor injuries, Toni began to speak.

"Can I explain something about us, before people think you're cheating or I'm cheating or anythingodd? We're in an open relationship. That is, we're allowing each other to see other people if we wanna. That means anyone! And I may love someone else, but I still love meine Liebe Preußen. Ja?"

"Exactly," Prussia agreed. "The awesome me would never hurt Toni! Especially since her brother knows ten painful ways to kill me." He shuddered. "No sane person would go against that."

"By the way," Toni hissed. "In my opinion, the best crack EVER is Prussia x Norway. I need my shots over here. Make it happen. Takk."

"Oh ANGLETERRE~"

"GOOD GOD GET HIM AWAY FROM ME BLOODY HELL-"

"BASTARDO STOP THAT I FUCKING SWEAR-"

"Te amo demasiado, Roma~~"


	280. Bururu 44

**OMG You're back mes amis!**

**Merci beaucoup Antonia. /bows**

**MA: France, I think you should have gone for Bururu instea-**  
**B: SHUT UP MA Anyways I've had this long running argument with a friend of mine (our Prussia over here) about who's better, Prussia or Austria. I keep saying that while Prussia is awesomeness itself even awesomeness bows down to the beauty and grace of Austria.**

**Of course, France is better than them all anyways.**

**So I was helping out with the school play two days ago and I saw that same friend (our Prussia) and keep in mind I'm our France, so we greet and then she's says "There's who we call Russia, oh and we found ourselves a Liechtenstein too right there, oh even Iggy's here." And my entire face lit up and I was just like, "Ma Angleterre?" I get closer to her and ask again. "Prusse, where is ma Angleterre?" Then she gets this horrified look on her face on she shouts, "Iggy, RUN!"**

**Yes. So anyways, tell France I was married to him twice and Austria once but divorced from all of them (Austria wanted to be more submissive, France even now is vying for my love) in this quiz thing. (I got Exploring Country)**  
**Anywho salut!**  
**-Bururu**  
**MA: I didn't get to say anything...**

"Why yes, we are!" Toni cheered. "And badder than ever! And with even more torturing of everyone's favorite trio!" She grinned.

"But Prussia is better than Austria," she deadpanned. "Even if I used to play the pian-oop!" she covered her mouth quickly. "Anyway. Oh! I took one of those quiz thingies. I got Iggy-land, Spagna, and Mein liebe having a crush on me, ehe~"

Spain gave her a confused look. "...si?"

"Just go with it~"

"Uh...si."

"Ehe...sorry for the short response. But damn, you guys move fast! And I have a Tumblr RP that desperately needs my attention. So! Torturing BTT, then...TUMBLR!"


	281. Romania 32

**(Admin: Not sure if this got lost in the mass of comments so I'm resending it for my dear Romania. It's ok Toni, me and Romania haven't been answering his letters either because of school. We will be back though, as soon as I figure out what to do about Norway spamming his inbox. *stares at Norway* Spammer.)**

** *Writhing on the floor* Ow! My ear hurts! Make it stop! The painkillers didn't work and I wake up every morning with my freaking pillow stained in blood! Waaaaaaah! But, I'm not taking my earring out!**

** Prussia, I dare you to stick your hand in a burning fireplace and hold it there for ten minutes!**

** Spain, I dare you to chew off France's left leg!**

** France, I dare you to scratch your arms to shreds with rose thorns!**

** Oooooowwwwwww! Toni, make it stop!**

"RIGHT!" Toni declared. "Uhh...THERE'S EVERYTHING IN THAT CABINET! There's even a big bag of weed! TAKE IT OUT! if nothing in there worked, nothing will work! That's all I can say!"

She turned to the BTT. "You will NOT murder each other or some strange shit."

Spain was glaring at Prussia. "Maybe I can shove his head in the fireplace anyway."

"What is UP with you two?" Toni asked.

"Nnothing~" they both responded slyly.


	282. Illinois and New York 11

**New York- Y U NO PRANK ENGLAND!?**  
** Illinois- Calm down big brother, you and the rest of the originals prank him enough on an hourly basis.**  
** New York- *incomprehensible grumbles***  
** Illinois- hmm... For your next dare... hide Gilbird somewhere and leave a ransom note for Prussia saying 'We have your bird, and he will become a McDonald's happy meal unless you go to Neuschwanstein castle and act like a fairy princess for all of the tourist for three whole days, all 24 hours. Then you must play the game 'Can your pet.' we will return your bird.'**  
** New York- That's cruel.**  
** Illinois- I know, but I'm in a bad mood today. The election always puts me in a bad mood for at least a month, and the economy is going to hell!**  
** New York- Yeah, yeah, save it for Papi, I'm sure he'd love to hear all your woes about it. I know I gots a bone or two to pick with him.**  
** Illinois- Mmmhmm, Well, Au revoir**

"Oh, did you misinterpret?" Toni asked slyly. "We did. I just wasn't allowed to post EXACTLY what we did because France."

"Honhonhon~"

~At Neuschwanstein Castle~

Toni snickered in the shadows. "Why simply make him do it without the evidence?" she asked no one in particular, setting up video cameras in the corners. "This is too fun!"


	283. Alaska 5

Hiiiii! Wow I just reread though all of this. It is very long! :o  
So The BTT and Toni have to go to the 2p Hetalia world and meet up with a lot of the 2ps. *sends them a transporting button*  
If *ahem* when you come out alive, I will give you all chocolatevodkapocky. Nomnom.

If you don't do it, saw off each others limbs. All of them. You know what I mean, Prussia, France? ^J^

How funny that you think that all Russia fans are Russia's. There are very many Russias in the world then. Think about that.

"I know," Toni sighed. "My friend is one of the Russias. Ack. Anyway! 2ps, you say? Well, they're not all bad. Just a bit...creepy. Chocolatevodkapocky? COME ON, GUYS. I KNOW MY 2P IS A WHINY GIRLY BITCH BUT WHO GIVES A FLYING FUCK, WE'RE GOING."

"Was-!"

"Non-!"

"Espera-"

"NOOOOPE!"

~Later~

"Ich werde dich töten." ((I'm going to murder you.))

"Liebe dich auch~!" ((Love you too~!))

"nous avons pu mourir-" ((We could have died))

"mais nous n'avons pas!" ((But we didn't!))

"que era un movimiento estúpido, especialmente para tu-" ((That was a stupid move, even for you-))

"NO ME IMPORTAAAA!" ((I DON'T CAAARE!))


End file.
